Born into a poor Peruvian family in 1956, which is odd since I’m German-Italian and my birthdate was May of 1966. A chronic masturbator, I seldom leave the house except for occasional forays to Home Depot to buy topsoil, which I have no need for at present but am stockpiling in case of future shortages. I have been married 17 times to 23 women, but have managed to sire only one offspring, a quad-racial pinhead whose mother is a descendant of Prussian Junkers.  Currently employed as a sideshow carny and Democratic Party strategist.