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Richard Branson, whose airline was prepared to screen 9/11 truther lies, is himself an Ashes truther:
“In 1882 the idea was the Ashes would come to Australia,” said Branson, in the most baffling reinterpretation of history since the movie Marie Antoinette. “They would then come back to England but an English captain grabbed hold of them and they’ve kept them there ever since.”
You had to admire the cheek of the man, who had probably spent five minutes being briefed by an underling yet was still prepared to challenge an entire school of historical thought.
Fortunately, there was an expert on hand to put him right. Branson’s grinning monologue was interrupted by Gideon Haigh, an eminent cricket writer in a Fall T-shirt.
“You’re rewriting history here,” Haigh told him.
Read on.
Rather than a symbolic wooden urn being used as evidence of Australian cricket’s awesomeness, it should be something meaningful and intrinsic to the rivalry between us and the poms. I propose that whenever Ricky Ponting appears in public until the next Ashes series, a team of Pommy cricketers must be made available to act as human red carpet. I’d like to see KP the yarp and Flintoff as the first English red carpet team.
Arty
You might try “The Ashes”, starting with para two.As for the player who can’t get the puck out of his own end, it will hurt when the goalie reminds him that the puck belongs in the other end.
Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 05 05 at 04:24 PM • permalink#1 I wanted to say the same thing. That sentence should go into Bartlett’s.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 05 05 at 07:14 PM • permalink#8 JonathanH
The plane will be towed down the Hume Highway by a team of oxen with corks up their asses.Shades of Rowan and Martin in “Laugh In”... “veeerry interesting, but not quite accurate”
This phrase seems not at all unusual to readers in the US .. but to those of us here in Antipodeal Oz, it conjures up a most unusual vision ... a procession comprising a large aircraft dragged along a bitumen road (sorry it’s the Hume ... substitute goat track)by a team of castrated males of species Bos taurus accompanied by a number of donkeys with corks inserted in their anuses.
Traditional Oz lack of delicacy (but insisting on accuracy)would render the original sentence in the Olde English manner .... by a team of oxen with corks up their arses.
Retiring to the naughty corner to do penance…“Facts are disposable when you have so much front.” That explain Anna Nichole Smith’s adamant attitude about her baby’s paternity. Has anyone asked Dolly Parton about her experience with this theorum?
That Branson fellow, Ole Bleachy McBlowdry there grins like a possum eating garbage out of a wire brush.“Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight”; Branson arguing cricket with Gideon Haigh.
Haigh’s knowledge of cricket trivia is legendary, Branson’s alarmingly huge teeth are his only claim to ‘legend’ status.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 05 06 at 01:55 AM • permalink
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Facts are disposable when you have so much front.
That describes lefties—which encompasses residents of “yuppiedom”—completely.