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ADELE AGAIN
The SMH’s Adele Horin in 2003: “You might have missed the news that short people earn less, know less, and get less respect than tall people, according to several scientific studies, the latest of which came out this week.”
The SMH’s Adele Horin last Saturday: “It’s old news that tall people on average earn more, get more respect, and have higher-status jobs than short people. But you might have missed the latest disturbing news ...”
• 2003: “If you did miss the story, you must be a tall person, or a person of average height.”
• Saturday: “If you are oblivious to this disturbing research by two Princeton University economists, it must be because you are a tall person.”
• 2003: “Once there were advantages to being a small woman. In the days when being cute, perky or sweet were passports to pleasure ...”
• Saturday: “It once was advantageous to be a short woman. You were considered cute, perky or sweet ...”
• 2003: “But now women aspire to greatness, managerial positions, seats on the board, the CEO’s job, that sort of thing, our short stature counts against us.”
• Saturday: “These qualities are of diminishing value with age. They won’t get you a seat on the board, or the CEO’s job, that sort of thing.”
• 2003: “Randy Newman sang with vicious humour that ‘short people got no reason to live’.”
• Saturday: “Society’s prejudice against short people (they ‘got no reason to live’ Randy Newman sang) needs to be dismantled.”
• 2003: “Look at how John Howard was mocked for years for being a ‘little man’ and underestimated by his opponents, even though he is of average height.”
• Saturday: “Look at how John Howard was mocked for years as ‘little Johnny Howard’ and underestimated by his opponents even though at 176.5 centimetres he is about average height.”
Midget Horin is a serial recycler.
Yes it’s all true what Adele says
But she doesn’t talk about how much easier it is for tall people to:
Reach the clothesline
Get that thing off the top shelf in the supermarket
Dust the lights
Always be in the back for group photos
And this
World’s tallest man gets plastic stuff from dolphins tummies
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 12 17 at 12:33 PM • permalinkDoes Adele ever notice when Tim B reminds us all about her recycling efforts?
Not a peep out of her - ever
Not like others who are offended - like Mike Hudson from Niagara
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 12 17 at 01:01 PM • permalinkHaving been short all my life, I can tell you it has distinct advantages.
You are always underestimated, and always at the perfect time…like just before you kick some dirtbag in the short hairs.
Clothes are cheaper and more stylish on a small frame. And you look healthier and better when you get older.
Even tho you can do your share of heavy lifting, no one much asks you too. Therefor you have less problem with your joints as you grow older.
Losing 10lbs on you looks like 30lbs on a taller person.
For short guys: All women are the same height when you fold them in half
For short women: All men are fascinated by short women
Believe me, it’s much easier to find cover when you need it.
It is much easier to relate to your little grandchildren
For what God shorted you in height, he made up for in pure evil. Short people tend to be much more violent when threatened than large people.
A low center of gravity lets me smoke tall runners when going uphill.
Airline seats are perfectly comfortable.
My leg-shaving razors last longer than most women’s.
The distance between my ass and feet is perfect for cracking open the tripod of a .50 caliber machine gun.
Well, I’m 6’ 6” - or exactly two meters, for the metrically challenged - and there are some problems with it. I’ve banged my head on low doorways or heating pipes more times than I can count. Airline seats are too small. I can’t fit into a lot of subcompact cars, let alone drive them. (I once had to drive a Ford Maverick on a hundred-mile trip, with my head wedged against the roof and banging my left knee every time I worked the clutch.) Good-fitting shirts are hard to come by. And I wish I had a dime for every time some jerk asked me what the weather was like up here, or whether I played basketball. (Answers: Same as it is for you down there, and no I don’t.)
On the other hand, it is helpful in getting stuff off the top shelves. I’ve travelled all over the city, at all times of the day and night, and never been hassled. And if I indulge over Christmas and put on ten or 15 pounds, it doesn’t show.
I’d call it a wash.
Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2006 12 17 at 02:35 PM • permalinkIt’s just because she is too short and can’t reach the filing cabinet where he previous articles have been files.
Posted by curious george on 2006 12 17 at 04:50 PM • permalinkShe shouldn’t sell herself short like that.
Posted by Evil Pundit on 2006 12 17 at 04:53 PM • permalinkShort people frequently compensate for their lack of physical stature by being extra persistent and even combative. My father, Old Paco, told me that one of the toughest fights he ever got in when trying to make an arrest was with a drunk sailor (U.S. Navy) who was probably around 5’6”. He said the guy came after him with everything: fists, feet, head-butts, and teeth. Old Paco said the only tougher fight he had was with a couple of heroin addicts when a panicky deputy sheriff acidentally locked him in a cell with them.
OT But hearty congratulations to 1.618 for your 1000th post.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 17 at 05:21 PM • permalinkBefore being too judgmental of Horin, I am inclined to ask the students.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 17 at 05:47 PM • permalinkThe poor addled dear must have had writer’s block and was desperate to meet a deadline. Either that or she is incapable of original thought.
Posted by Kathy from Austin on 2006 12 17 at 05:48 PM • permalinkI just asked some students who say she needs to give it away or else get some new fuckin’ material.
Kids nowadays!
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 17 at 05:53 PM • permalink“She works on the principle that if you repeat stuff often enough, readers might actually believe it.”
This is called “journalism.”
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 17 at 06:18 PM • permalink#20, #21
Congrats 1.618. Any pointers to us newbies?
Posted by ElectronPower on 2006 12 17 at 07:07 PM • permalinkOT
So you thought that only the Israeli army had all the hot chicks?
(Warning: hot and steamy scenes towards the end of the video in the top posting)
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 17 at 07:28 PM • permalinkPaco, the Marine sergeant who recruited my oldest son was maybe 5’ 3” in his stocking feet - he came up to Sonetka’s Mom’s nose, and she’s 5’ 5”. However, he was built like the proverbial brick shithouse. Only an idiot would have picked a fight with him. To judge from the scars on his knuckles, there are a lot of idiots in this world.
Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2006 12 17 at 08:39 PM • permalinkAs someone who is 6’ 5” it is my contention that short people should all be rounded up and shot. Their organs stored and used to prolong the lives of the genetically superior super freak.
I have come to this conclusion after being asked the worlds most annoying question one too mant times - “Do you play basketball?”.
No I do not play basketball you stunted piece of shit. Are you a jockey?
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 17 at 09:22 PM • permalinkHow’s the weather up there, Infidel?
(It was a temptation too great to pass up.)
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 12 17 at 09:35 PM • permalink#42: Storms brewing, red mist rolling in.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 17 at 09:59 PM • permalinkThen, Bonmot, you never heard George Gobel descripbe “pretty, perky Peggy King.”
Perky is now a kind of insult, much like the old Lou Grant quote from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. “You’ve got spunk! I *hate* spunk!”
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 12 17 at 10:24 PM • permalink#41 Mmmmh 6’5” eh?
Same height as the former yellow Wiggle.
Coincidence, or something more?
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 17 at 10:40 PM • permalink#49: I can officially deny being the Yellow Wiggle.
I will neither confirm nor deny being Captain Feathersword.
#50: I too love short women, but not as much as I love women with small hands.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 17 at 11:27 PM • permalink#51
I’ll take your word for it, but you sure sound like the yellow Wiggle
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 17 at 11:49 PM • permalink#55: Captain Feathersword’s bio;
Captain Feathersword is a friendly pirate, and is characterised by his pirate coat and hat, eyepatch and eponymous sword made of feathers. His birthday is February 4.
A running joke with Captain Feathersword is his use of the phrase “Well, blow me down!”, which usually results in the characters nearest him obeying his wishes by blowing him to the ground with a gust of breath.
Well, blow me down!.. (waits patiently)... Nothing. Damn it.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 18 at 12:03 AM • permalink#6 Having been short all my life, I can tell you it has distinct advantages…
For short women: All men are fascinated by short womenI read a while back a study that showed that tall men often (usually?) marry short women. My brother (200cm) and I (185cm) are living proof of that - we tower over our wives (of at least 20 years).
I went out with several tall woman prior to settling down. Never had to try too hard - they were always on the lookout for a tall man. Somehow it didn’t work out. All were attractive, talented, middle-class, conservative lasses. Nothing at all wrong with them - it just never worked out.
My future wife was/is attractive, talented, middle-class, conservative - and 155cm.
Posted by walterplinge on 2006 12 18 at 12:10 AM • permalink#58 - It’s natures way of evening out the gene pool. Short women are also just so damn cute!
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 18 at 12:14 AM • permalinkI’ve looked at 5’7” like a slightly shorter than average guy. I’m now a 5’6” slightly taller than average woman. Just right for 2 inch heels.
Turns out I was even more Intersexed than anyone thought, but that’s another story.
But no matter how tall or short the journalist, when they suffer from cranio-rectal inversion, it’s all the same.
We live in a world where there are important issues, from WW IV (or the Muslim Civil War - whatever history will call it) through to nanotech and gene-engineering.
There’s genocide in Dafur, the scourge of slavery is still not completely dead, we need to get off this rock before a dinosaur-killer hits (as it will eventually)... and she writes about tall vs short people, using multiple redundant un-neccessary tautology, repeating it as well.
What a waste of space and oxygen.
Let’s see….my two shortest friends are actual geniuses who earn more in a week than most people do in a year, whilst I (six feet tall)count myself lucky if I earn more than ten grand PA. Short women are far sexier than tall ones, especially if they are both petite and zaftig.
Posted by Daniel San on 2006 12 18 at 01:11 AM • permalinkLeft handers are also more likely to be child molesters and good at cricket.
What is it with theses progressive types and profiling?
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 18 at 01:28 AM • permalink#47
Thanks 1.618. I’m 5’7” (short enough?).Posted by ElectronPower on 2006 12 18 at 02:15 AM • permalinkWell, I must say, as an average person (5’7), I am doing my bit by dating a lovely police constable who is 5’10 (or maybe taller). Both of my ex fiances were under 5’4, and blonde, both studying at uni. This one is tall, brunette, and thinks she’s Dirty Harry.
Before anyone says anything, having two ex fiances was mostly due to the job, or as my best mate (6’7) says ” Mate, as a Sergeant you have to stop getting engaged to everything in a skirt. Especially lefty uni students.”
And I have to say also, that the most deadly bloke I have ever seen is one of my diggers, an immigrant from South Africa, who was some sort of national Boxing and Judo champion. Little bugger is dangerous after 3 beers, believe me.I’m about 5’7”, which is just tall enough to make me seem tall to short people, and short enough to make me seem short to tall people.
I’m not built like a brick shithouse, and I don’t go for the nads. I just flail my arms and foam at the mouth while screaming like a banshee.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 12 18 at 02:38 AM • permalink#68 Swinish: Crying like a little girl as a distraction whilst finding something to smash them in the crown jewels with works quite well also.
But you do lose some ‘street cred’ with your mates from doing so. Not the ‘helping out with his missus’ birth control’ as I like to call it, but it’s hell to explain why you were on your knees begging not to be hit prior to the act :)One of the advantages of being 6’2” tall and (formerly) bear-shaped was that I didn’t have to fight often.
The advantages of being prone to blackout rages when fighting were:
I never recalled the trauma of the beatings from the fights I lost, and;
I could honestly and truthfully say “I don’t recall” when questioned by police or court officials.
But now I’m older, wiser, and in hella lot worse shape, so I stay home. It’s dangerous out there, or so they tell me.
I should add - the fastest moving queue at the supermarket is always my queue.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 12 18 at 03:22 AM • permalinkAnd she gets paid for it, Zoe! There’s the marvel.
A line I read once a long time ago in a Heinlein novel (one of the naughty ones with all the orgies): “Everyone’s the same height lying down.”
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 12 18 at 06:25 AM • permalinkI’m about 5’7”, which is just tall enough to make me seem tall to short people, and short enough to make me seem short to tall people.
I’m not built like a brick shithouse, and I don’t go for the nads. I just flail my arms and foam at the mouth while screaming like a banshee.Hmm, I’m 5’8” and in pretty much the same situation…sounds like a strategy I might adopt in the future. Thanks!
All men are fascinated by short women
Well, it was my experience through the years that men appreciated my short stature (5’—used to be 5’1” but I lost an inch somewhere along the way). Personally, I think it was because of their birds eye view of my cleavage.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 12 18 at 07:14 PM • permalink
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That’s a rather odd fetish.