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ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNORUDD
The Legend of Kevin spreads worldwide:
Australia’s incoming prime minister Kevin Rudd could scarcely have imagined as his penniless family slept in a car during his childhood that one day he would lead the nation.
That famous vehicle - what make? what model? - will be a Queensland roadside attraction any day now; an antipodean counterpoint, perhaps, to Bonnie and Clyde’s death car. Meanwhile, reader Roland reports the appearance of a Big Giant Kevin Monster Head in the UK:
On my way home from work this afternoon in the center of London (the business area, where it’s totally dead on the weekend) I was accosted by Kevin Rudd supporters (two), holding a giant picture of their new supreme leader.
A large floating head not strange enough, they decided to stand in the way of anyone walking down the street. Granted, there were very few people, but it seemed a bit unnecessary.
It only seems unnecessary. All mysteries of Kevinism will eventually be explained. Be patient, earthlings.
Three years of Kevnibots sould be, ummmm… interesting.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 11 25 at 11:48 AM • permalinkRudd makes global warming a priority
“On Sunday, at his first news conference, Rudd promised “action, and action now” on climate change and nominated education, health and a high-speed Internet network as other top priorities of his government. He said Labor lawmakers were due to meet on Thursday, and he hoped his Cabinet would be sworn in soon after that.”
Look for a revival of Socialist Realism: for example, this poster of Kevin overcoming Howard and the Liberals.
#10 paco,
So why is it quoting MY comment, typo and all?
Did I inadvertently use a “magic word” that brought it here? Andrea, feel free to delete my comment if that is the case.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 11 25 at 01:12 PM • permalink16 Hi missred
ok someone, please, let me in on joke. why is it such a big deal he speaks chinese? it’s in every description i have read regardless of the publication. i am sure there are lots of people who speak chinese but obviously do it quietly.. behind closed doors.. or something
If I may, let me make a few changes…
ok someone, prease, ret me in on joke. why is such a big dear he speak chinese? it’s in evely descliption i have lead ledgaldless the pubrication. rots peopre speak chinese (boy howdy) obviousry do it quietry.
The Turkish spambot has been removed and banned and the IP banned as well.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 11 25 at 02:26 PM • permalinkBold prediction: Rudd’s #1 priority, “action, action now, on climate change”, will be as logical, reality-based, useful and amusing as Claudius fighting Neptune.
Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 11 25 at 03:08 PM • permalinkThe Liberal party must now begin the traditional opposition party task of coming up with outlandish conspiracy theories about Rudd and Labor.
He served plastic wallabies to the diggers in Iraq! He’s Helen Clark’s sheriff! He doesn’t tilt his head enough when talking about global warming!
Posted by Ernst Blofeld on 2007 11 25 at 03:57 PM • permalink#29: Good start, Ernst. Here’s another one:
Sure, Kevin lived in a car; but it was a 1934 Hispano-Suiza!
A glance into the future: Kevin Rudd hits the halfway mark of his term.
They do have Brown in the UK. But Brown is proving to be a failure, as has another famous (for a Canadian) second in command who became chief leader - Paul Martin.
Once these second in commands to long time leaders get into power themselves, it becomes clear why they were only number two. Perhaps the same applies to Costello.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 11 25 at 04:39 PM • permalinkFearless Fran on ABC Radio National has started attacking the ALP leadership already! As expected, this attack is from the left.
She put Gillard on the spot this morning, virtually asking her three times to name the time, date and verbiage to be used in the Sorry To The Stolen Generations.
Gillard three times confirmed that this was ALP policy, but declined to fully commit.
Mark Scott, the now not-so-new ABC head honcho must be so proud to witness the diversity in full bloom. The only “other voices” he is hearing are the ones in his head.Only one Australian car would have a big enough boot to house a non-working family - The Leyland P76. The car that Kev lived in.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 25 at 05:41 PM • permalinkStupidest line on TV last night (Sky News) -
Saturday was the first time 24 years that Labor has won from opposition.
For Christ fucking sake, they were in government for 13 of those 24 years. Rudd used a similar line throughout the campaign - “Labor has only won from opposition twice since world war 2”. Well, now it’s three times, exactly the same number as the Libs. It is one of those lines that are meant to create the impression of an underdog. It was a comment never questioned by the Canberra press gallery, who actively seek a one party state.
On that one party state, Labor will get a long run as Australia’s only ruling party. The only election in 2008 is ACT, which counts for nought and is likely to return Jon-il Stanhope. 2009 sees Queensland, Western Australia and the NT vote. 2010 will see Federal (again), Victoria, Queensland and Tasmania while coming up last, in 2010, is the most disfunctional government in the western world, NSW. The timing could not be worse for Labor. The elections will be too far into Rudd’s term to blame Howard for their ills. A Rudd recession will cripple GST and stamp duty dependent state revenue streams.
Shock of the century: Labor bosses seeking payback
Outspoken union leader Dean Mighell declared Mr Rudd had the “worst” industrial relations policy of any Labor government, saying Labor should not be scared to stand up for workers’ rights.
The Victorian secretary of the Electrical Trades Union, who was forced to resign from the ALP by Mr Rudd in May for bragging and bad language, said Labor had a mandate to represent workers’ interests and could legislate changes without waiting.
“It would be easy to legislate on unfair dismissals, but it’s not just that. It’s also the ABCC (building watchdog) code of practice,” he said.
The ACTU also had a choice to make, Mr Mighell said - it could be a “de facto ALP” or operate in the best interests of its members.
“Many unions have bitten their lips in recent months but they’re not going to shut up and lie down,” Mr Mighell said.
How long can Kevni hold the line?
Now that Howard Hater has seen its day, I would like to register the following: Rudd Reviler.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 25 at 06:48 PM • permalinkWe shall get our chance Australia…Should Hillary get elected, that is.
Only good thing about Hillary is, she has bigger balls then all the other Dem candidates. You could also toss in a few of the Repub’s, too.
Point one is, is (the good one) (just like a Clinton…is, is) Mahmood and other wild and crazy Islamists had better hope that Hillary had taken her estrogen pill for that day. Else wise we shall have a ‘good war’ (because a Dem started it) and that ‘good war’ could very well be devastating to Islam.
Point two is, (the bad one) we will already have had our wallets and purses, fleeced.
Bush more isolated as Australia’s Howard ousted:
Snippet:
“The atmosphere at next week’s Kyoto talks in Bali will be markedly different due to this election result,” said Shane Rattenbury, political director of Greenpeace International.
“The US administration will no longer be able to plot with the Australians in its effort to destroy international progress against climate change.”
The Greenies must be dealt a mortal blow.
Can anyone remind me of which type of high-speed broadband Mr Rudd has promised for us?
My ADSL connection has been very slow lately and I want to be first on the block with the new one as soon as Mr Rudd gets it into my rural telephone exchange.
Action, action now! you say Mr Rudd? Bless you, my fellow Queenslander. I’m sure you will have fixed by Friday.While you sit around on your fat date waiting for the party line on Rudd to arrive from Commentariat HQ, why not mount a rabid defence of what’s been going on in your filthy war.
Posted by Miranda Divide on 2007 11 25 at 07:51 PM • permalinkDown on the farm:
“How old is that boy Mama”
“Which one”
“One got straw colored hair all over his face.”
“Must be clear sixteen”
“We oughta get that boy some shoes”
“C’mon Uncle you know we can’t afford fancy stuff.”
“Well at least some pants Goddammit. Ain’t nat’ral what he’s setting there doin’ all day.”
Well the old saying a bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush- we saw what we had under JWH and life has been good. Kevin offers us Kyoto and many hidden delights which will remain hidden as the unions hoe in to reclaim with double digit interest on what they expended from their war chest (using working families money)to get control of this country.
It will not me as much as those ‘working families’ but there are going to be some very sad and angry people come the next election and it will take another 11 years of Liberal Governence to clean up the flood damage.
Miranda: Just because you spend the daylight hours sleeping in a coffin filled with your native soil is no excuse for you not to get up-to-date during your midnight prowls. As El Cid points out, that article is four years old. There have been a few positive developments since then, as even such indisputably non-bloghead publications as the NYT and the Washington Post have had to admit.
“...sit around on your fat date…” Someone translate into seppo please.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 25 at 08:15 PM • permalinkTHE FOUR QUEENSLANDERS
KEVIN RUDD: Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of risotto.WAYNE SWAN: Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselas, eh, Craig?
CRAIG EMERSON: You’re right there, Wayne.
JOE LUDWIG: Who’d have thought thirty year ago we’d all be sittin’ here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?
KEVIN RUDD: In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o’ tea.
WAYNE SWAN: A cup o’ cold tea.
JOE LUDWIG: Without milk or sugar.
CRAIG EMERSON: Or tea.
KEVIN RUDD: In a cracked cup, an’ all.
JOE LUDWIG: Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.
WAYNE SWAN: The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
CRAIG EMERSON: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
KEVIN RUDD: Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, “Money doesn’t buy you happiness, son”.
JOE LUDWIG: Aye, ‘e was right.
KEVIN RUDD: Aye, ‘e was.
JOE LUDWIG: I was happier then and I had nothin’. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.
WAYNE SWAN: House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, ‘alf the floor was missing, and we were all ‘uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
CRAIG EMERSON: Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t’ corridor!
KEVIN RUDD: Oh, we used to dream of livin’ in a corridor! Would ha’ been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House? Huh.
JOE LUDWIG: Well, when I say ‘house’ it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.
WAYNE SWAN: We were evicted from our ‘ole in the ground; we ‘ad to go and live in a lake.
CRAIG EMERSON: You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t’ shoebox in t’ middle o’ road.
KEVIN RUDD: Cardboard box?
CRAIG EMERSON: Aye.
KEVIN RUDD: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t’ mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi’ his belt.
WAYNE SWAN: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o’clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of ‘ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
CRAIG EMERSON: Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to ‘ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o’clock at night and lick road clean wit’ tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit’ bread knife.
JOE LUDWIG: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
KEVIN RUDD: And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won’t believe you.
ALL: They won’t!
#61 Dean: According to the Australian Slang dictionary, date=arse (or arse hole). Not sure about the etymology.
Hmmm, well, those noted liars the Quakers say that “in the last 10 years, the US has used cluster bombs in civilian-populated areas of the former Yugoslavia, Afghanistan and Iraq.”
Sorry, did I miss the press release announcing the unilateral cessation of its use in Iraq? Was that part of the surge that I missed?
So, turd, even John Howard knew these tactics were criminal.
Posted by Miranda Divide on 2007 11 25 at 08:26 PM • permalink#70 - You’re commenting far more than usual and it’s an absolute delight. Did Kev personaly connect you with high speed broad band?
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 25 at 08:29 PM • permalink66, 68; Got it, thanks. The version I was thinking was just too weird.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 25 at 08:37 PM • permalinkPaul Keating sightings up. Miranda’s reappearance. Quick, hand me that bible and flick to revelations…
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 25 at 08:42 PM • permalink#93 oh oh!
You’ve done it now, El Cid.
You shouldn’t have been cheeky. Andrea’s coming, and she has the Punishment Plank!
The bloody Quakers!?! Miranda, can’t you find one news source that isn’t knee-jerk left-wing?
But that’s not really your point, is it? “We” will always be more evil than “they”. In all your trolling, you have never once, to the best of my knowledge, denounced anything that Hussein or Al-Quaeda or the Taliban or Hamas have done - not the beheadings, not 9/11, not suicide bombers, nor any of the hundred and one other evils associated with Islamic extremism. NOT ONCE, Miranda. So pardon me if I look upon your concern for innocent civilians as a pile of steaming hypocrisy, and upon you as a de facto fellow traveler of the vilest gang of murderers in recent history - but not a very important one; a mere parlor jihadist.
paco
Miranda set up a mouse trap…I was suspicious that anyone with a modicum of sense, would pull a 2003 article…but I bit, anyway.
The second link (2007) was loaded and ready to go.
The fact is, is that a Miranda type still refuses to believe that he/she, will still be eaten by the alligator. In fact, the Miranda types will be the first eaten.
Stalin (and many, many others) killed his/their closet ‘allies’, first. Miranda has yet to fathom that…probably never will.
In re: Miranda; at least this broad gave it a go, instead of raising a fist for the people at a nice, safe public library computer.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 26 at 03:03 AM • permalinkBugger (or fugger as Norman Mailer would say.) It’s the story of the Dutch broad (a “peace activist” btw) who joined the FARC in Columbia. She left a diary which seems to indicate her regret at that decision.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 26 at 03:14 AM • permalinkdean martin
Sorry but got an “expired link” on that one.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 11 26 at 03:55 AM • permalink
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My guess would be an Edsel.
A car brand that is best known as one of the most spectacular failures in the history of the automobile industry.