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BACK SOON
Just as well Bolty is back, because I’m out of here until mid-August.
(Not entirely; there’ll be occasional posts meantime, and the column never sleeps.)
(Admin note, July 31, 2007: sorry folks, forgot I had set comments to close after five days. Since you all (well, most of you all) seemed to be having such fun, I’ve extended the comment expiration to ten days. Andrea Harris, Administrator.)
After looking at the behaviour of most prominent eco-lefties, it only makes sense that Tim is going on a 3-week eco-holiday in Nicaragua, planting rice with a bunch of hippies.
Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 07 26 at 11:44 AM • permalink#6 185600 will have an original first-print vinyl copy of You Are My Sunshine (still available in Iran)
Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 07 26 at 11:48 AM • permalinkSo long - hope you have some great plans to increase your carbon footprint - preferrably involving long overseas flights, fast cars and expensive imported liquor!
Either that or perphaps repeated opportunities to prove that you are not an islamic terrorist in a variety of exotic distionations…
http://theospark.blogspot.com/2007/07/women-of-britain-unite.htmlHe’s GONE!? Hey, let’s see if we can find his porno stash!
Posted by ooh honey honey on 2007 07 26 at 12:06 PM • permalink#17, 11 Yeah, laughing is good for you. That’s why God made lefties.
Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 07 26 at 12:13 PM • permalinkOh lord, not again.
(wronwright locks the oaken door to the mead storeroom, posts his pit bull dachsund to stand sentry).
You’ll drink my Sumerian mead when you pry it from my ... cold ... dead ... hands. Er, let me rephrase that.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 26 at 12:14 PM • permalink#10 El Cid: No problem. I got the poker tables, the blackjack tables and . . . heh . . . the “lucky” roulette table. I think we can get some Hooters girls to deal blackjack - you know, just for the purpose of distracting card counters. I suppose for the female players - and again, only for the purpose of distracting card counters - we’ll have to bring in some lumberjacks or something.
Last time Tim left we trashed his house and wrecked the hover car. Remember, wronwright??? I hereby pledge, as chairman of the Propane Accelerant Control Operations, to behave as long as I can get into the garage first this time.
Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2007 07 26 at 12:51 PM • permalink#11, I sympathize completely. And yes, this is the best place for laughs.
Have a happy holiday, Tim! We promise not to trash the place like last time, don’t we, people?
Pst! Somebody check to see if Tim left his ute parked out back, and ask Wronwright if he still has duplicates of the key to Tim’s liquor cabinet. I’ll fire up the grill.
Tim’s gone? I’m bringing the keg right over!
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 07 26 at 01:13 PM • permalinkJust give me the burnt bit that dropped into the barbecue by mistake. We don’t complain much where I come from.
Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 07 26 at 01:16 PM • permalinkWoo-hoo! Open thread! PAAAARRRRRRRR-DEEEEEEEE!!!!
Shoot the dog, and break out the mead! Fire up the grills! Fillet that whale! Blend those puppies! Someone, call out for wenches to serve the guys! Call out for hunks to serve the gals! LET THE FEASTING AND SWILLING BEGIN!!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 26 at 01:45 PM • permalinkQuick, call Alice Cooper, and tell him to get over here pronto, we needs us some music now!
But he’s not here for the entire event, I sent Mr. H back in the Tardis to pick up Glen Miller and some other musicians for a quick gig. Anyone have some musicians they want to hear? Lawrence Welk is right out, by the way.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 26 at 01:48 PM • permalinkFolks, Tim Blair is a very close confidant of Karl Rove. They’re friends. If anything happens to Tim’s home, Karl will have my ass.
So let’s not go down the path we travelled last year. And the year before that. And the year before that one. Let’s respect Tim’s privacy and stay away from his home. After all, he trusts us. Okay?
Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 26 at 01:55 PM • permalinkOh, and I’m trying to get the Performers And Celebrities Organization to bring in many of our favorites for presentations. You know….the Dixie Chicks, Michael Moore, Tim Flannery, Sean Penn, The Goreacle™, James Wolcott, etc. They’ll go live and entertain us!
At the same time, I am ordering substantial quantities* of rotten eggs, soft tomatoes, dead cats, and dog poo, to enhance the audience interaction with these fine people.
===========================
*: You may thank Perishable Acquisitions for Crowd Operations for the quick delieverys.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 26 at 01:59 PM • permalinkEr, “deliveries”. Must be all that mead….
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 26 at 02:02 PM • permalinkRe #51: FYI, our contract with Personal Assistants and Catering Organization requires that serving wenches and hunks be free of gender bias. I wouldn’t want anyone to think that the parties here at Tim’s place are discriminatory.
<waves at Media Watch>
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 26 at 02:09 PM • permalinkThat’s OK, Retread. Party Aftermath Clean-up Outfit has a contract to remove all trash and undesirable materials. They can even handle serious HAZMAT incidents. Which we will need should Madonna decide to crash this shindig.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 26 at 02:12 PM • permalinkOh well—since I can’t get into my blog at work (because I’ve forgotten my password), I’ll share with you all here: unlike Tim, I am not going to be taking August off. August 1st was supposed to be my last day, but I’ve been asked to stay another month. Because apparently I’ve lost my mind. Also the lure of two more paychecks was difficult to resist. So my vacation has been postponed. :(
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 07 26 at 02:18 PM • permalinkThanks, but I’ll be drinking straight from the bottle by August 15th, I just know it.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 07 26 at 02:38 PM • permalinkHey, who’s up for some poached bustard eggs? Guess the old gal’s been holding out.
because I’m out of here until mid-August.
Oh NO! Another one! Get the crash cart! Code blue! Tube him, Stat!
Oh, vacation…. never mind…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 26 at 03:21 PM • permalinkDamn good column Tim. Remind me never to piss you off. By the way, I’ll be happy to look after your house while you are on holiday. Rumour has it there’s going to be some kind of get together at your place while you are out of town. Do you really trust these guys with the keys to your liquor cabinet. Man, talk about unsavory characters.
Tequila? Did someone mention tequila? Now we have a party! As for food I would vote for carnitas and barbacoa. I’ll bring the guacamole.
Now I’m really hungry!
Posted by Not My Problem on 2007 07 26 at 03:56 PM • permalink#69 John A, great link, just a bit hard to read with the noise of this party going on.
And for Melanie.
Ancient giant wombat found in cave
No, it wasn’t Tim Flannery, even though it was as big as an SUV.
Maybe Tim’s joined the lucrative speech circuit, flogging eco-hybrid Hummers for People About Carbon Opportunities?
11 - Hang in there Melanie. Just keep reading the posts.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 07 26 at 05:40 PM • permalinkLooks like the punters aren’t handing it to the Krudder on a seats basis:
Sportingbet individual seats analysis at Oz Politics blog
The overall odds on the 2007 election have Labor marginally ahead. To win majority government, Labor must net an additional 16 seats. If Labor were to win, it is interesting to speculate on the individual seats Labor would win. Looking at the electoral pendulum, if the punters think Labor is not going to win Bennelong (NSW), Wentworth (NSW) and Stirling (WA) — all of which are within the first 16 seats on a uniform swing basis — then they should be giving Labor seats like Dobel (NSW), Corangamite (Vic) and Boothby (SA) — which the punters have failed to do. I am also intrigued that the punters are giving Labor Blair but not Herbert. Both Queensland seats are on similar margins.
More generally, I find the cautious nature of the betting market — Labor has 11 chances in 20 of winning the next election — difficult to reconcile with the opinion polls that place the chance of a Labor election win (admittedly in the immediate past and not the future) better than 99 in 100.
Say, Blair, while you’re away, why not study up on your wheat varieties? And while you’re at it, do some work on nicknames - Bolty? remember, it’s Bolta.
Forcing me to get a life then are we?Failing to provide free entertainment? I’d say it’s time to shed my nice guy commenting veneer.
BTW All the best to you Melanie.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 26 at 06:14 PM • permalinkShame Tim Dunlop doesn’t post here. He could help us connect the dots.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 26 at 06:27 PM • permalinkspace sabotage
No details yet, so I suspect “youths” or “Presbyterians” are involved.Posted by Jim,MtnViewCA,USA on 2007 07 26 at 06:32 PM • permalink#19
(wronwright locks the oaken door to the mead storeroom, posts his pit bull dachsund to stand sentry).
Yeah, sick-em Cujo-widdle-woos…
Wron, you trying to make us laff our arses off?
Mr Bingly, one keg will never be enough for all these profligate followers of Bacchus.
I don’t think Tim’s really “going away”, I reckon he’s using this to draw out all the old posters we haven’t seen for a while so that one of the underlings can check who is around and OK.
Oh, I see, Tim’s on sick-leave, it’s a little case of tachy-revvia!
#61 Andrea, I’ve been thinking that this here blog thing could do with a few changes.
andrea.net has a kind of ring to it. And what’s with all the navy blue. Couldn’t we have some party colours?
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 26 at 06:59 PM • permalink#109.
Blair. Iowahawk. Bonneville.
I’m going to be very angry if there turns out to be a finite amount of fun to be had in the galaxy, and you guys are having more than your share.
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 07 26 at 07:15 PM • permalink#109 iowahawk
Cryptic little secret for y’all:
Blair. Iowahawk. Bonneville.
vroom vrooom.
You guys bolt a blower onto the Tardis, or what?
Can I assume this has something to do with the Coupe of Justice?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 26 at 07:49 PM • permalink#139 1.618
Sorry, I’m in withdrawals, Tim Tam has gone?
He’s going to be Stateside for a bit, from what I surmise. We seppos are borrowing him for a while… with any luck, we’ll return him undamaged.
;^)
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 26 at 07:53 PM • permalinkOT if anyone has a screenshot of the ABC/Tony Jones “end of the chart” comparison between sun activity and temperature, I would be much appreciated if you could get it to me somehow…
(I’ll explain later)Posted by daddy dave on 2007 07 26 at 07:55 PM • permalinkI brought canned wine and magic brownies. Oh, and there’s a couple of hunks of whale spitted on redwood branches and roasting over that bonfire out in the yard.
Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 07 26 at 08:35 PM • permalink...there ARE some whale chunks out there too. I have craptacular English skills tonight.
Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 07 26 at 08:37 PM • permalinkmmm - bolt leaves for like 3 weeks, and just now returns
mmm - blair leaves for 3 weeks, just after bolt returns
I think I have it figured out - there is only so much common sense the world can take, and they have pity on it.
enjoy the break - meanwhile, this thread is destined for the 1000 posts barrier in iowahawks 435mph clanger - let’s go!
One for the Things I Did Not Know files:
Grave robbing and necrophilia are OK in Wisconsin
Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 07 26 at 08:51 PM • permalink#93
Yeah it was love at first sight
... cant get it out of my headIs it just me or do “journalists” take more holidays than French wharfies?
Or is there something more sinister afoot:
BURGE BLAIR ‘08?
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 26 at 09:18 PM • permalink#179 - You won’t be rejoicing if Brackistan becomes Thwaitistan, Ash. That clowns a gaia worshipping ning-nong.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 26 at 09:20 PM • permalinkMore proof that global warming will be good for the environment.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 26 at 09:23 PM • permalinkOh alright. Pass the kerosene and the box of matches and stand back.
The children took Bracks announcement particularly hard.
Wonder if he will return his hair to Legoland?
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 26 at 09:38 PM • permalinkEnjoy the break Tim. Let us know how many tonnes of Carbon you burnt on holiday.
Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2007 07 26 at 09:50 PM • permalinkWas behind a car today that had a bumpersticker that said “I’m offsetting CO2 output with a terrapass.” Well, it sounded too juicy not to google, so I did, and this is what I found. The only thing missing is the fifth frame, which shows Al Gore pushing a wheelbarrow full of money to the bank.
A little Juan Cole bashing, anyone? He’s like Fisk, only less purple.
Want somebody to rag on?
The New Republic, Screwed Bowlegged and Left to Walk Home Without Even Bus Fare…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 26 at 10:14 PM • permalinkNecrophilia is dead boring
Well, yes, technically… if you’re doing it properly…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 26 at 10:16 PM • permalinkBracks resigns, Tim takes a powder, and now we have to watch the skies…
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 07 26 at 10:19 PM • permalink#224 - He bumped his head this morning and in a moment of clarity realised he was all shopfront, no shop. Another rumour is that John Brumby bet him $50 he could root Victoria much better.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 26 at 10:28 PM • permalinkI had a large kidney stone lasered a couple of days ago. Since then, I have taken my laptop to the toilet in order to read your blog. It makes me realize there are worse things than pissing broken glass.
/just kidding
BTW, did you know a Gold Coast resident holds the world record for the biggest kidney stone. At least we lead the world in something.
#229 in a moment of clarity realised he was all shopfront, no shop
Perfectly put. Bracks would have to be one of the emptiest suits that ever won an election. Now that he’s gone, at least those of us who work in the kulcha industry in Victoria will no longer have to be dictated to by Terry Bracks, who seemed to think that her marital status made her Arts Minister.
#104 Kae,
Don’t be dissing Daschhunds. They are tough and can be mean. They were bred to dig up and kill badgers, which are not shy, retiring, unaggressive creatures themselves.Another party at Tim’s? Whoo-hoo. And Wronwright locked the liquor cabinat? Hah! That young whippersnapper doesn’t know that we old-timers in the International Neocon Conspiracy had to learn lock picking and breaking and entering in our Minion’s Boot Camp. Ah the tales I could tell about the Good Old Days, before we had black helicopters.
#165 Paco,
The therapy for Hypotimblairia (a rare but severe condition) is copious consumption of Sumerian mead. If you don’t have any mead single-malt scotch will do, but it has less effect per cc, so you must drink more of it.Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 07 26 at 10:52 PM • permalink#219 Richard: there’s been quite a bit of speculation as to how TNR lighted on “Scott Thomas.” Maybe this had something to do with it.
Hey, can you buy jalapeno cornbread mix in Australia, and if so, where?
BTW Whoever does post #250, please make it a good one, as we will have to read it a million times on the way to page 2.
Not that there’s any pressure or anything.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 26 at 10:58 PM • permalink
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So long, Tim, have a great time (I assume it’s vacation). Would you like us to forward any subpoenas, warrants or bills of indictment that may arise as a result of the sheer lawlessness that will undoubtedly take hold here in your absence?