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BAD TO VERSE
It’s Webdiary haiku time! Let’s get things rolling with this contribution from Marilyn Shepherd:
This bloody country
kidnaps babies from the sea.
They can’t breathe on land!
Meanwhile, new posts (“sir are you going to eat those crackers”) are up at margokingston.blogspot.com.
Zionists control
Australian politics
and the mediaPosted by SoCalJustice on 2005 08 25 at 11:10 PM • permalink“I love a bloody country”, huh Marilyn? A country that—-
* gives her a disability pension so that she has the free time to travel to detainee centres and make a nuisance of herself.
* makes it possible for her to spend hours writing to newspapers about the fascist dictatorship she is forced to live in.
* allows her to call everyone from John Howard to Australian Navy sailors, liars and murderers - without ever being brought to account.
And how does she know the ‘true story’? Her detainee friends tell her, of course. And we all know they would NEVER NEVER lie.
Water and breadcrumbs- Internet cafe- My empty stomach
Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 08 25 at 11:30 PM • permalinkApplause! Applause! I can’t do haiku worth squat, so all I can offer is applause!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 08 26 at 12:53 AM • permalinkKeating crucified
Latham cast aside, lost his mind
Long may Howard “lie”!Posted by Simon Alexander on 2005 08 26 at 01:06 AM • permalinkMurph - what you on about? She’s a hottie!
Posted by James Waterton on 2005 08 26 at 01:19 AM • permalinkSaint Sheehan
Patron of the ditch
Postmodern nut-churchWorship here
Now and forever
Fascist neoconsKoolaid cup
Join us in a draught
Our wafers are brownSpin our yarn
Hear our hippie cry
Peace throuh our hookahAppease her
Massage her weary toes
Pleasing agreementWarmongers
Right wing death beast die
You made momma cryThe Dingo Baby
Says she’s not happy either.
Maybe they’ll do lunch?Shamu did haiku
You can too
Whaling, wailing away
To the thin manThat’s within
in
MichaelNo More- More
Moore
Posted by madawaskan on 2005 08 26 at 02:12 AM • permalinkWords scary hard still
The beautician’s shop
Ugly head beckonsPosted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 08 26 at 02:17 AM • permalinkMichael Moore health farm
Bush lied people died
Body grew fat onPosted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 08 26 at 02:30 AM • permalinkDavid - they could be twins, all bar a couple of extra donuts each day.
MK suffers greatly from MM envy, since stupid white men made MM very rich & very famous all around the world.
MK’s book about Jan not being happy (and big rip of from the bigger book, the Yellow Pages), did not make MK rich and only made her famous around her back yard.
V.sad she thinks she is “leader” of a “movement”...
Or was that just the prunes she had for breakfast?
Black helicopters
Depleted uranium
McHalliburtonPosted by Art Vandelay on 2005 08 26 at 02:55 AM • permalinkSad man lashing out
Margie pays the bills
Call me Bryan LawPosted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 08 26 at 03:08 AM • permalinkuhoh. i need stopping too! Miss Andrea!!! help!!
Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 08 26 at 03:09 AM • permalinkFriday Afternoon.
My body craves Martini.
Intravenously.Happy to oblige Mr Z.
Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2005 08 26 at 03:18 AM • permalinkI finally read the haiku at the top and am confused, hopefully for the last time today.
I think she’s complaining about Japanese Whaling practices. The only babies related to the sea & Australia that:
a. I can remember; and
b. Lefties have their panties in a bunch about
have something to do with the SIEV-X.I thought we drowned them, not kidnapped them.
So, in celebration of the randomness of the original Haiku, I offer this:
Washing Machine Red
Gristle envelope retread
Adverb remittanceNow where’s my damn arts grant?
“This is my Thelma and Louise moment.”
Oh, dear, what have I done??
I’m so sorry…/me sobs quietly in the corner
Puke! Now I’m getting really pissed off. Ad nausea “congratulations on courage / conviction / bravery / lack of ethics / breach of contract… etc, etc” on the newted WD page.
Courage of her convictions???
She ended the contract with SMH on the grounds of them not giving her a new improved f**#$%^king web page, and claimed they breached the terms.
Holy crap, who ever thought she was THAT committed to web design? Did not know she could even use computer.
Breach of contract? Surely she breached her contract by NEVER writing any of the columns, and never reading / culling any of the comments. SMH were paying her to do that, and she handed everything over to volunteers and amateur “writers” who actually thought WD was a way to be famous / make money, while she popped in with some irrelevant comment / hyperlink about once a week – not bad work for $58 K a year.
Convictions my arse!!!!!!!!!
#51- I dont know what the heck that is you linked to but Peter Sterling was always a blonde.
Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 08 26 at 04:39 AM • permalink“I thought we drowned them, not kidnapped them”.
To hear Margot, Marilyn Sheppard et al. Howard personally swam out and held their heads under water.
People trying to enter Australia illegally leave Indonesia on an unseaworthy, overcrowded boat - without lifebelts - it turns over and they end up in the water - and somehow its all our fault?
Habib ran the race
Disability
Infidels must diePosted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 08 26 at 05:28 AM • permalink(#48) david;
You are going straight to hell for that one!*claws at seared eyeballs*
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2005 08 26 at 06:02 AM • permalinkThese silly haikus:
They come all the way from Oz
Just to make me laugh.
Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2005 08 26 at 06:39 AM • permalink#65. Dare ya to post that over at margeaux’s…:)
Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 08 26 at 06:40 AM • permalinkShepherd’s haiku has a whiff of the baby-eating libel about it.
Her bloody country rescues and feeds people who try to make us an offer we cannot refuse.
I had trouble accepting the reports of the detainee and his broken ankle being the basis of some new media driven cause celebre. Fancy throwing your food at the wall, as if you were the Queen of Sheba instead of some uninvited troublemaker.
Fancy having to wait a whole hour to have your ankle seen to, while regular, law-abiding citizens often wait a lot longer at hospital casualty wards to have their equally serious (or worse) problems seen to.Randomly worded haikus that are more cogent than your average web diarist #38.
Illegitimate
Australian Government
HoWARd lied babies diedSee, simple innit? It’s got a full Marilyn Sheephead post there, all bundled up neatly in a 5/7/5 syllable polemic. You know, I reckon Tim could release a book of haiku and get a grant for it. I’m willing to offer my prodigious talent for a *minor* fee.
I’m going for the double dactyl.
Higgeldy Piggeldy
Marilyn Shepherdess
Lefty moonbattery
Always on spot.Singing the praises of
Vilificationists;
Our mainstream media
Hijacked by twats.
Okay, it’s a bit wonky, but I’ve not done one of these in years. I’m still a bit pissed by that comment she had regarding D Hicks, editors and hate thought. Skank. >:/Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 08 26 at 08:41 AM • permalinkOh and if i can make a stylistic point. If Tim’s post is verbatim, Marilyn has an exclamation mark at the end of her haiku. Since when does a haiku end with an exclamation mark? Haiku is zen. Exclamation marks are about as unzen as you can get.
Exclamation marks are the last refuge of a scoundrel!
I should calm down, it’s Friday I have a glass of red in front of me and Australia JUST CAN’T GET THAT LAST WICKET!!!!
If we are going to go O/T on proper haiku format, never again do I want to hear the complaints when a threads morphs into something geeky (e.g., science fiction).
You are warned! 8^P
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 08 26 at 10:32 AM • permalinkIf we are going to go O/T on proper haiku format, never again do I want to hear the complaints when a threads morphs into something geeky (e.g., science fiction).
High hopes for Stargate,
Farscape fans rejoice! Browder!
Yet still it sucks ass.Hail, Galactica!
Complex religious drama.
Horny Cylon chicks.Haiku sucks
I like hockey pucksAnd -Dune Frank Herbert
-but only the first couple damn it!
Posted by madawaskan on 2005 08 26 at 02:59 PM • permalinkWell said, widow1.
Short, sharp, and biting. :)Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 08 26 at 05:17 PM • permalinkActually I only brought up the haiku format thing in as a pre-defence as i realised my effort didn’t conform to any known haiku structure.
I’m glad the thread got back on topic. I’d have felt very guilty this morning if we’d ended up with a professor of japanese literature doing lengthy posts on what is and isn’t haiku
Doobey doobey do…..
Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wond’ring in the night
What were the chances we’d be sharing love
Before the night was through.Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in you smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.Strangers in the night, two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello.
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away and -Ever since that night we’ve been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.Doobey doobey do…..
113 comments including this one? Quick, Tim, write a self-congratulatory column about the amazing popularity of this site.
Posted by James Waterton on 2005 08 28 at 05:46 AM • permalink
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Across the full moon
Fruit bats
Howard must die!