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BIGELMAN REPORT IN
Teacher Randy Bigelman’s fourth grade class publishes its scientific findings in the Portland Press Herald:
A small group of students at our school has been researching and studying the effects of global warming. The evidence and data we collected is so overwhelming that we have decided to write about this issue ...
Have we ever wondered what life might be like in 50 to 100 years? We might have imagined big robotic cities and flying cars, but I bet we didn’t imagine huge cities and tall skyscrapers underwater. Well, that’s what life will be if we keep burning fossil fuels without thought.
Reader response may not have been as Bigelman expected. A small sample:
• pwyman of Saco, ME: “My eleven year old thinks he is personally contributing to the end of the world if he is not vigilant in his ‘green’ choices. This sort of pressure is outright abuse.”
• Martin Russo of Portland, ME: “My youngest comes home from her Portland public school with these junk science factoids all the time. I have to sit her down and explain that political movements that border on the quasi-religious aren’t facts or science. Just because a fat, balding hypocrite Loserman says something in a movie doesn’t make it true.”
• cgar of Flora, MS: “Addie, my four month old grandchild, would like to congratulate the fourth grade scientists at Portland’s East End Community School. She says, ‘Hi.’ In fact, she first said this word at two and one-half months. Without question she is a genius. She loves opera and can entertain a crowd for hours with her babbling. I’m sure Mr. Bigelman is equally proud of his little Einsteins.”
• action jack of Moscow, OH: “I especially liked this comment: ‘Just notice the strange weather around us this winter and spring and even summer-like days in March.’ As if fourth graders have lived long enough and experienced enough seasons to make such comments.”
• babyboomer of Overland Park, KS: “If you just HAVE to worry about something in the fourth grade then worry about the really poor education you’re receiving!”
Via Rich Stadnik; contact details for Bigelman here.
Little Bigelmans all over think that the adults are just as pliable as their 10 year old charges. It is nice to know that this particular Bigelman is being disabused of that idea.
It is abuse of their authority. The school boards ought to be the ones disabused of the idea that parents will continue allowing this crap to go on.
Slightly OT, but:
ARGUMENTS against travelling overseas or buying foreign food because of the carbon footprint are “idiotic” and not the way to tackle climate change, says New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark.Could it be to do with NZ’s geographical isolation? Or maybe that NZ$1 billion carbon debt they found themselves stuck with after signing on to Kyoto? link
The current rain, while severe, is not historically unknown. I remember similar in August of 1996, autumn of 1985, and sometime during 1974. It is not part of Goebbels Wormening, but rather, a part of the highly varied and rich tapestry that makes life interesting.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 06 16 at 02:05 AM • permalinkHelen Cluck’s fuming, is she? I tried to warn the enviro-nannies on nz.politics years ago that Enviro-friendly trade policies are just non-tarriff barriers to trade, and would eventually bite NZ in the arse.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 06 16 at 02:10 AM • permalinkI ripped into my 15 year old, wanna be a lawyer, daughter when she started on the Leftist’s Australian is stealing East Timor’s oil nonsense.
Afterwards, I told her, “Let that be a lesson. If you want to win an argument. Make sure you are in possesion of the facts.”
A few days later, she came and asked me if the claims made in An Incovenient Truth were true, and she pointed me to the website. We checked them out together and agreed every single claim was outright false or unsubstantiated speculation.
Phil_B
Greenpeace Fuming About Helen Clark’s Admission re: Carbon Footprint Nonsense
Interesting piece of spin by Helen. She said it here in Oz. She basically said that it’s wrong to assume that visiting NZ or buying food from NZ will contribute to AGW, but Asstralia is different, and should be ashamed of itself.
But the Greenpeace press release is a laugh a minute:
Prime Minister loses plot over climate change
Prime Minister Helen Clark has lost her way in the climate debate and is making bizarrely incorrect and misguided statements on the subject, says Greenpeace.
“I am shell-shocked that the leader of New Zealand is so confused over the biggest threat that this country faces,” said Greenpeace Climate Campaigner Vanessa Atkinson.
“And this is the very woman who’s issued a vision of a carbon –neutral, sustainable New Zealand.”
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The Prime Minister, in Sydney on a week-long tour of Australia, told the Seven Network that arguments against traveling overseas or buying foreign food because of the carbon footprint were “idiotic” and not the way to tackle climate change.She also said arguments about the amount of carbon dioxide emitted through the use of fossil fuels were “false science”.
“This is of real concern,” said Ms Atkinson. “Helen Clark is either playing dumb in order to downplay a very serious situation or she’s got completely the wrong end of the stick. Either way, it’s dangerous.
“She’s effectively rubbishing the proven science of climate change, which is that fossil fuels lead to carbon emissions which lead to climate change.
“And to top it off, she’s labeling the world’s leading scientists idiots.
“Of course traveling overseas in a plane contributes to climate change. A return flight to Australia alone causes the release of greenhouse gases equivalent to 1.3 tons of CO2 for every passenger on board.
“And it’s not just CO2; the full climate change impacts of air travel are much worse when you factor in nitrous and water vapour emissions.
“People should be considering climate change when choosing whether to travel, and they should also have it in mind when sourcing their food.
“It just beggars belief that the New Zealand Prime Minister could make such rash and wrong statements about such a crucial issue.
“New Zealand needs to be taking positive action to tackle climate change, not burying its head in the sand.”
ENDS
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 06 16 at 02:54 AM • permalinkIn a genuine effort to help Randy out with his teaching assignments, I emailed him the following -
Hi Randy,
As a physicist, I was interested in the methodology and results of the global warming assignment you set your students. I’m not an American but science of course has a universal truth and appeal. I’m actually from Australia, you know –
“I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.”The last two sentences are particularly appropriate in the turbulent ever-changing climatic times we live in. For your students’ next assignment, might I suggest you extend the theme by introducing how catastrophic climate change might affect indigenous people and what methods they might use to combat it. Staying true to their own cultural traditions of course. I suggest you ask your students to read the following Melanesian story and to comment on it with particular reference to science, religion, graft and gullibility.
It is 2057, in a village at the base of Mount Yasuur, an active volcano on the South Pacific island of Tonna. A young Melanesian man with a high pitched voice is talking to his grandfather about their religion.
The old man explains that it started fifty years ago when the great wirlee bird descended from the heavens and landed among them. All were in awe as the large witefala approached and hundreds of his servants left the bird and started digging holes and planting trees.
“What did you do Grandfather?”
I said to him, “iwanem nem blong yu?” and he answered, “Mi bigfala Al frum amerika”. His eyes revolved and he ranted and pointed and told us our volcano was sending the poison carbo bioxide into the heavens and many peoples in lands far away were dying because. Our chief’s hands were twitching and he was about to wring the bigfalas hair for cooking oil, when bigfala Al produced the box. It was the magic paapoin box and it had words and pictures and they moved and he told us we would all die if we didn’t stop our poisoning. Then he left on the great wirlee bird and we were fearful and wondering. We needed clever words and only our witchdoctor and sage could provide them. He alone amongst us knew the seasons and the heavens and he had drawn many models of them in the sand. Our sage had traveled with other sages far to lands unknown to speak of these things and have big feasts as well. He had spoken to many people and was given many conch shells in return for his words of wisdom. Although he needed many more hogs, conch shells and maidens to continue his work he did tell us that all sages agreed with bigfala Al and his paapoin magic. He was adamant, if there ever was a debate, it was now over. And so it came to pass that our carbo cult was founded with Al Frum as our messiah.
(to be continued….)
Posted by Whale Spinor on 2007 06 16 at 02:56 AM • permalink(...Continued)
“Grandfather, I am a devout follower of our carbo cult and worship Al Frum, but I have some questions. We are fishermen and used to live by the sea. Why are we now ten kilometres inland where it takes us 12 hours every day to get our canoes to and from the water?”
The old man explained that Tim Frum-Eerie and Robyn Frum-Yams, two of the messiah’s most brilliant sages of the south, had the great sand model that only the sagest sages could understand. They alone could read the secret model signs and their word was that if all peoples in lands far off did not join the carbo cult then the seas might rise 100 metres on Tonna and we would all be washed away.
“I understand grandfather, we must not question the great southern sages and their secret writings, but why do we eat everything raw, didn’t we used to have something called fire?”
“Yes my son, but we must not use carbofuels for cooking or warmth as they poison the heavens and we must think of everyone else. We are black and poor but the bigfala witefala knows best. We must not progress now, but things will be better for us in times to come. Al Frum has told us we have to go backward to go forward”, the old man said.
“And my voice grandfather, what’s wrong with my voice?”
“Sadly, you were the second born son. Al Frum decreed that we must practice carbo circwestration”, the old man replied. “So all males, other than the first born, must undergo both circumcision and castration on their first birthdays. We know it will reduce our population, but our tribal poison carbo emissions will also decrease and anyway, much better few of us than none at all”.
Later, the young man thought as he sat in a cave chewing his raw fish. It was cold and dark. He thought of his eldest brother and why he was gay. He was a little sad, the family line was going end but he now knew the reason for it.
“Still, at least my knackers don’t ache in the winter”, he squeaked to himself, “or perhaps they do, but I don’t know where they are”. But he drew comfort from his faith in the carbo cult, for he knew that all the peoples of all the carbo cults in all the world were undergoing the same hardships. And he also knew that Al Frum would return again one day with his paapoin magic and tell him that the world was saved. He would no longer have to live a life of deprivation and poverty.
And he was happy.
Cheers and keep up the good work,
xxx
Brisbane
AustraliaPosted by Whale Spinor on 2007 06 16 at 02:58 AM • permalink#4 saltydog:
It is abuse of their authority. The school boards ought to be the ones disabused of the idea that parents will continue allowing this crap to go on.Schools act in loco parentis and unfortunately political and/or scientific indoctrination is not actually an abuse of their authority. Parents put up with it because schools bully parents too. And, of course, because most education boards are dominated by left ideology.
Randy has this in his inbox:
I was appalled to read that you have been terrorising small children with stories of impending doom. This is cruel and harmful to impressionable minds.
When I grew up, children had only childhood things to worry about. It was adults who were left to worry about the impending nuclear holocaust. A good thing, too, considering that the mutually assured destruction of all mankind didn’t happen. Didn’t really come close. Can’t imagine how many children would have been driven to self-harm and dangerous behaviour if they had thought they, their families and their pets were to be annihilated.
But there you are, in Oregon, telling children they are facing almost certain death. Do you also tell them there is a boogey-man hiding in the toilet block? Do you tell them that a giant green ogre will snatch them from their beds if they fall asleep?
Please, for the sake of the children, before one of them does something dangerous or deadly, quit teaching.
Some sacrilege in today’s Australian with this story saying Global warming may yet come up peaches and how about the cartoon in the SMH?
Whale spinor - brilliant!
Bravo Doctor! You too, Contrail, especially those last two words. Many teachers should contribute to society by switching careers to trucking.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 16 at 07:17 AM • permalinkAs always on this topic, I look very dimly on those who share my profession using it to frighten kids for the purposes of ideology.
Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 06 16 at 08:22 AM • permalinkItalics fixed. Always close your tags, people!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 06 16 at 09:06 AM • permalink#30 Simon
heh, I’m a recovering teacher myself…...I taught chemistry and physics. My students asked about Gerbil Warmongering and I showed them the 1970’s Time article about the coming ice age…...I just told them no one has a clue…....
Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 06 16 at 09:39 AM • permalinkHave we ever wondered what life might be like in 50 to 100 years? We might have imagined big robotic cities and flying cars, but I bet we didn’t imagine huge cities and tall skyscrapers underwater. Well, that’s what life will be if we keep burning fossil fuels without thought.
So if we keep burning fossil fuels without thought we will get flying cars? I’m off for a meandering, meaningless country drive! I want my flying car.
But there you are, in Oregon
Maine. Portland, Maine.
Portland, Oregon is a West Coast city that has dirty hippies, leftard city government, and a faintly permeating scent of patchouli and body odor.
Portland, Maine, on the other hand, is an East Coast city that has dirty hippies, leftard city government, and a faintly permeating scent of patchouli and body odor.
Do try to keep it straight.
Teaching positions in America are becoming a pension plan for unemployable lefties and idiots, thanks to the NEA.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 16 at 11:06 AM • permalinkDave, the REAL difference between the two Portlands is that Portland, OR, gets lots of rain, and Portland, ME, gets lots of snow.
And that faintly permeating scent of patchouli and body odor persists in spite of all that rain. Maybe it’s genetic?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 16 at 11:08 AM • permalinkSocial Education is another example of the word social reversing the meaning of the next word.
State education is a crèche where your children are indoctrinated in lefty rubbish.
Make parents pay for the education of their own children directly (loan them the money if needed) and you’ll soon see them care more about the rubbish that is being forced down their necks.
The Facts Are In [TM]. I mean, only Holocaust Deniers would dare challenge the Consensus of
ScientistsFourth Graders, right?I mean, when I think of research that potentially requires a radical redesign of our economic, political, scientific, and sociological foundations, these are the people that I want performing that research.
From the article:
The United States is the leading contributor to the global-warming crisis, producing one-third of the total greenhouse gases in the world, more than South America, Africa, Asia and Australia combined
I wonder if the 4th graders’ data is a bit old. I mean, it was in late April that scientist pointed out that China (alone) was going to surpass the US in greenhouse gas emissions this year… and, last I checked, China was part of Asia.
And, come on - they’re fourth graders, so you know… they’re still working hard to get the basics of long division, so don’t expect them to do anything other than spit out the information their teacher and Algore have provided them.
St Wendeler
Another Rovian ConspiracyPosted by St Wendeler on 2007 06 17 at 10:22 AM • permalink
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As is usually the norm in the cases of global worming aware teachers, the readers have it right.