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BULLETS EVERYWHERE

I drove to the shops a few hours ago, where I parked under heavy sniper fire. Oh, excuse me; that was a misstatement and a minor blip.

What I meant was that it was raining.

UPDATE. Abe Greenwald on Barack Obama’s preachy pal:

There is a verifiable convergence of the ideas promoted in Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s brand of black liberation theology and the anti-American, anti-Semitic doctrine of radical Islam. America’s current enemies are crazed clerics who wail about Israeli oppression and who damn America before cheering crowds. This description also fits Barack Obama’s pastor of twenty years.

Posted by Tim B. on 03/25/2008 at 10:15 AM
  1. Look out Tim, Gaia has turn her powers against you for all your climate blaspheming.

    Repent, REPENT! The end is nigh!

    Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 03 25 at 10:26 AM • permalink

  2. Melbourne was under heavy fire for a great portion of last night. I no longer feel safe. I’m writing this from a bunker in my basement. Please send reinforcements to help us!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2008 03 25 at 10:27 AM • permalink

  3. A new book on the horizon, “Lying Lies and the Liars Who Tell Them”?

    Posted by mojo on 2008 03 25 at 10:29 AM • permalink

  4. I’d like to think that this is Billary’s shark jumping moment, but she performed that miracle years ago.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 25 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  5. Tim, you are reading the transcript wrong. What Hill was actually doing was talking about Bill’s newest intern, Miss Poke.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 03 25 at 10:34 AM • permalink

  6. The Hildebeast meant she was dodging the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2008 03 25 at 10:36 AM • permalink

  7. Running for office was easier in those pre-interwebs and you-tubes days.

    Posted by RichS on 2008 03 25 at 10:52 AM • permalink

  8. “drove to the shops”?

    Hmmm.  In the US, we drive to the stores.  We call shops the little stores, usually entered from the outside, not in malls and plazas.

    More of that funky stryne no doubt that Tim uses to confuse we American hegemonists.

    Posted by wronwright on 2008 03 25 at 10:54 AM • permalink

  9. Did you spiral into your parking space to avoid the flak?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 03 25 at 11:01 AM • permalink

  10. That’s what I like first thing in the morning.  Tales of violence.  Gets me revved up for the day.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 03 25 at 11:05 AM • permalink

  11. Wronwright do you have 18 hours to spare?  We can give you a complete lexicon of north american-to-ozzi english terminology.

    Starting with the N/A (nawth amerikahn) use of the word “shop” when they really mean “shed”.  The ungrammatic ozzi use of the word “weaner” to the n/a “weanling”, the straight faced way a n/a’ian will look you in they eye & say they “don’t speak spanish or any furrin language” then proceed to bury you under words such as “rodeo”, “ranch”, “canyon”, etc, all of which have perfectly servicable English words.

    Wracking my memory now for the n/a word for what is called a “store” in Ozziland.

    Posted by Steve at the pub on 2008 03 25 at 11:05 AM • permalink

  12. Having reviewed footage of the “sniper fire” incident, and using that as a benchmark, I can truthfully state that I have been under similar sniper “fire” on a regular basis for much of my adult life.

    When do I get to have hundreds of million donated to my campaign fund, & when do I get to run for president?

    Posted by Steve at the pub on 2008 03 25 at 11:10 AM • permalink

  13. And please lay off Hillary.  As she recalls it, she and her daughter, Whatshername, were under heavy machine gun fire, not seen since WWI.  Armed only with a rather smart looking pale pink pant suit, she bravely carried Somebodyorother to safety.  This courageous act had not a small influence on the eventual resolution of the Bosnian civil war.  Indeed, she remembers vividly many people saying she should be awarded a Silver Star or possibly the Pour De Le Merit.  It’s only due to the concerted and illegal efforts of the VRWC that that was prevented from happening.

    Posted by wronwright on 2008 03 25 at 11:10 AM • permalink

  14. Wronwright:  Don’t know how much machine-gun/sniper fire she has had to dodge, but:-

    Hillary is certainly engaged in an ongoing battle against one enemy of America.

    At least, if someone who has sided for 20 years with that guy I see on Tv shouting out “God Damn America” qualifies as an enemy.

    Posted by Steve at the pub on 2008 03 25 at 11:20 AM • permalink

  15. I was born and raised in Miami. I figure I’m owed 36 years of back combat pay for that.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2008 03 25 at 11:22 AM • permalink

  16. There’s no real sniper fire unless there’s poetry.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2008 03 25 at 11:29 AM • permalink

  17. #9

    Did you spiral into your parking space to avoid the flak?

    SERPENTINE!

    /obscure alan arkin

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 03 25 at 11:37 AM • permalink

  18. I drove to the shops a few hours ago, where I parked under heavy sniper fire

    So when did you move to Punchbowl?

    Posted by murph on 2008 03 25 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  19. It occurs to me that I’ve ridden my bike to work in the rain many times.  I’ve even spiraled towards the bike rack to avoid pedestrians.

    So I think I’ll apply for a retroactive combat zone tax exclusion.  Going back twenty plus years, I ought to get a s**tload of cash back from IRS.

    And I’ll put down Billary as a professional reference, to boot.  That’ll larn ‘em to take my money!!!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 25 at 11:43 AM • permalink

  20. Hillary was simply not at liberty to discuss the details of her real ordeal. The story actually took place in Cambodia in the ‘60s during her mission to terminate the command of a certain American officer who had “gone native.”

    Posted by Tai Chi Wawa on 2008 03 25 at 11:45 AM • permalink

  21. #17

    “Shot? I can’t be shot, I’m a dentist!”

    Posted by mojo on 2008 03 25 at 12:57 PM • permalink

  22. I was struck by lightning a few years back.

    I walked across the wool carpet, reached for the doorknob, and 240,000,000 volts leaped half a centimeter with a deafening crash!

    I dropped and rolled, lying very still until the danger had passed and the all-clear sounded.

    I have recovered now, but the experience was seared into my consciousness, and the horrible memory will be with me for a long, long time.

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2008 03 25 at 01:15 PM • permalink

  23. #17 -

    God damn you, Spiny!!! I’ve been waiting for Tim to post on this so I could write, “Serpentine, Hill, serpentine!”

    I scrolled through the comments praying, just praying no-one would say it. Fat f***ing chance.

    So now I have to go with the much weaker…

    Posted by Dave S. on 2008 03 25 at 01:17 PM • permalink

  24. ...the incident is seared, seared into her memory.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2008 03 25 at 01:18 PM • permalink

  25. “We were coming in for the landing, and I was wearing heels, and the Special Forces commander said, ‘Mrs. Clinton, we’ll have to dodge sniper fire. Wear these flats’. And I still have those flats he gave me,” she says, pulling a pair of shoes from her briefcase, “To this day, I still have those flats.”

    Posted by Dave S. on 2008 03 25 at 01:28 PM • permalink

  26. Sinbad, who accompanied the Pantsuit and Sheryl Crow on the tour, had the best response.

    It was too dangerous for Bill Clinton to go, so he sent his wife, a singer, and a comedian.

    Posted by Merlin on 2008 03 25 at 01:31 PM • permalink

  27. If Hillary Clinton Was Not
    a Presidential Contender:

    I’m only here to tell my tale
    Because assassins try and fail;
    They cannot kill me – I react
    So fast their tripwires stay intact.

    They never know just when to shoot;
    They can’t anticipate my route.
    Will I slip out the front or back?
    They never know, they can’t keep track.

    Whenever I run into town,
    They jump in cars to mow me down;
    But even so, they’re much too late, 
    As once again, I frustrate Fate.

    If I weren’t so quick and clever, 
    They would silence me forever;
    So there,  I’ve satisfied your doubt,
    Doc, sign the papers, let me out.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 25 at 01:40 PM • permalink

  28. #16 rhhardin, poetry can be sniper fire. Make sure you wear a jaunty Che-style beret though, to demonstrate your sincerity to “the cause”.

    Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 03 25 at 01:59 PM • permalink

  29. Seared into her memory like a Christmas in Cambodia.

    Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 03 25 at 02:01 PM • permalink

  30. Hillary Confides the New True Story
    of Her Treacherous Landing in Bosnia

    I turned to Sin and said, ‘Sinbad,
    That was a lovely flight we had,
    And when we land, we will be fine           :
    As long as we both serpentine.’

    Then Sinbad said about Miss Crow,
    ‘I think she has a right to know.’
    And I said, ‘Sin, it’s by design;
    It’s best she doesn’t serpentine.’

    ‘It is,’ I said, ‘my favorite ploy,
    Another woman as decoy -
    It never fails, this plan of mine;
    She takes the shot, I serpentine.’

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 25 at 02:16 PM • permalink

  31. Lyle remains the King of Ode!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 25 at 02:44 PM • permalink

  32. 31

    Thanks, Jeff. I wasn’t sure anyone would get the reference until Spiny and Dave S both brought it up.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 25 at 02:48 PM • permalink

  33. There was a young Serb named Yatukkit
    Whose helmet resembled a bucket
    To hate USA, he fired away
    Then saw who he shot and said fuckit.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 03 25 at 03:23 PM • permalink

  34. When I arrived at Incirlik back in 1977 to join my husband, hist sargent took one look at me and said I wouldn’t last. I did. He also told me what to do if I came under sniper fire (I didn’t) and being a bit naive I asked him what sniper fire sounded like. He looked at me like I was the dumbest rock on the pile and said that it was pretty obvious. Apparently not to everyone.

    Posted by ruskinrip on 2008 03 25 at 04:25 PM • permalink

  35. >17, 21, 23

    “I’ve only had four women in my life. Two of them, my wife!”

    Posted by Room 237 on 2008 03 25 at 05:06 PM • permalink

  36. The thing I can’t my head around is why the US first lady went into a country in the middle of a civil war accompanied by a stand-up comedian. It’s all a little surreal. Maybe she should have taken a
    pantomime horse instead. They are more discreet.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 03 25 at 05:19 PM • permalink

  37. It was enough for her to get a   CIB wasn’t it?

    Posted by lotocoti on 2008 03 25 at 05:41 PM • permalink

  38. #18
    Heyyy, my Mum’s family grew up at 160 The Boulevarde, Punchbowl many years ago.

    But it ain’t the same any more.

    #25
    Ahhh, magic hat moment.

    Posted by kae on 2008 03 25 at 06:16 PM • permalink

  39. It’s a pity that Tim’s claim lacked the added advantage of being true.

    Posted by Nicholas on 2008 03 25 at 07:34 PM • permalink

  40. Bloody hilarious.  I love the excuse - she has taken so many trips she forgot what happened on this particular one.  So why did she have any recollection of something that didn’t happen?

    We have our own fabulist here, named Rudd.  What he does is not only create memories of non existent events, but is also able to wipe out very clear memories of scores of other events.  Hilary has nothing on our PM!

    Posted by peter m on 2008 03 25 at 09:33 PM • permalink

  41. Send three and four pence, we are going to a dance!

    Posted by Razor on 2008 03 25 at 10:14 PM • permalink

  42. #38

    “But it ain’t the same any more.”

    More like a foreign country now.

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 03 25 at 10:32 PM • permalink

  43. When I lived on the leafy North Shore of Sydney, I had to put up with regular incoming artillery fire on Saturday nights.

    Then again, it might have been the after-fete fireworks at the school down the road.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2008 03 26 at 03:20 AM • permalink

  44. #30 Ride, ride, ride the wild serp?

    Posted by blogstrop on 2008 03 26 at 05:12 AM • permalink

  45. AP & CBS called her on her bullshit.  That’s novel.  It not only would not have happened a year ago, it did not happen a year ago, and they knew about it then, too.  That IS CBS footage in the video, right? 
      So there’s stuff that the MSM used to give her a pass on, and now they don’t.  It’s tempting to think that they’ve grown a conscience, but really, that ain’t it. 
      Now it’s candidate Obie getting all the free passes that candidate Hildie used to get.

    Posted by formerly Huck Foley on 2008 03 26 at 07:48 AM • permalink

  46. Ha!  This comment box wasn’t working all day yesterday.  Must be all that sniper fire around here, glad it’s finally slacked off.

    Posted by formerly Huck Foley on 2008 03 26 at 07:50 AM • permalink

  47. There’s only one reason we learned about Obama’s hate preacher and Hillary’s phantom sniper: the media is evenly split between its two democrat candidates.

    Once the democrat is chosen, the media will drop all negative stories and turn its full fury on the Republican. By then we can hope the democrat has been duly damaged.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 26 at 08:59 AM • permalink

  48. I just heard CBS reporter Cheryl Atkinson in a radio interview. She said Hillary has been testing her sniper-fire anecdote on the campaign trail for a couple of months without rebuttal.

    When there was no criticism from the media, her Bosnian mission became increasingly dangerous. She continued to embellish because she thought she could depend on the same media acquiescence the Clintons have always taken for granted.

    She evidently forgot she didn’t have the nomination yet, and Obama is the new heart throb of the media party.

    She claims she misremembered or misspoke, but neither excuse can explain why her Bosnian mission increased in danger over the past three months.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 26 at 09:13 AM • permalink

  49. Lyle, it’s possible that the Dhimmicrat ranks won’t close up that tightly, thanks to the sore loser syndrome.  It’s also possible that the MSM might follow that trend.

    We’ll have to wait and see, though.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 26 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  50. Jeff,

    You could be right. We’re in uncharted territory here. Nothing like this has happened in our lifetime.

    Obama’s success shows that some dems have become seriously disenchanted with the Clintons. Hillary is viable only because other dems are more loyal to the Clintons than to their party.

    On top of that, the Democrat Party is the party of envy, resentment, and entitlement. Sore loserdom is in their DNA.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 26 at 11:26 AM • permalink

  51. It’s quite perplexing to me - all three the candidates seem to be showing more loyalty to the Democrat PARTY than to their Country, their Countrymen, or their Constitution.

    Sickening.

    Posted by KC on 2008 03 26 at 12:46 PM • permalink

  52. #49 headline from T_R_JS’s link

    If McCain vs. Obama, 28% of Clinton Backers Go for McCain

    Aren’t about 28% already wringers from Operation Chaos? 
    “Ringers,” I meant, sorry.

    Posted by formerly Huck Foley on 2008 03 26 at 03:21 PM • permalink

  53. fHF, I’d describe them as “whingers”, but you have a point.  Or two points.  I gotta think on that!  ;-P

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 26 at 07:33 PM • permalink

  54. Remember what “they” say:
    “If it’s too dangerous to send the President, send a comedian, a singer, the First Lady, and the President’s daughter.”
        - Commando Hillary’s handbook of Foreign Policy Experience

    Posted by formerly Huck Foley on 2008 03 26 at 09:37 PM • permalink

  55. Rain, rain of bullets, let’s not get too tied up with semantics people.

    Posted by Hump B Bare on 2008 03 26 at 10:09 PM • permalink

  56. Hillary’s harrowing landing at Iwo Jima is recorded here.

    Posted by TheRealBigAl on 2008 03 26 at 10:50 PM • permalink

  57. Perhaps it was a plastic turkey with a sniper’s rifle…?

    Posted by Apparatchik on 2008 03 27 at 07:46 PM • permalink

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