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CALL IT THE GORCH
The Olympic torch is a Gore-style carbon gorilla:
By the time this pyro parade is over, it will have produced about 11 million pounds of carbon emissions …
Sally Lu, the frazzled Olympic media relations rep that we reached in Beijing, says that if there is a plan to neutralize the torch-carrying jet’s carbon emissions, she hasn’t heard about it.
(Via Adam I.)
That’s knut the topic, Paco!
I’m beginning to wonder if there is a natural saturation point that causes a rupture of Blair’s Law.
All the lefties squoosh together—until the Chinese run a li’l torch around town (and beat up some monks) (and never mind that the Chinese open a new coal-burning plant every week or so).
All the lefties squoosh together until they have to pick between one oppressed minority or another for President.
Hmm. May be time for a corollary of some sort.
Any more bad puns on this topic and I’ll be charred for life!
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 04 09 at 02:50 PM • permalinkMy doctor warned me about getting so offset.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2008 04 09 at 02:51 PM • permalinkI was just down on the Embarcadero ahead of the torch run here in San Francisco, and I want to note that on a paper mache basis, the anti-Beijing folks have made something actually representational: a tank that looks like a tank. Unlike the usual anti-war left speed-chess paper mache mobs (Oh My God, BushCo is attacking Easter Island!), these guys had a lovely tank. The pro-Beijing guys had nothing, not even an appearance by a paper mache Territorial Integrity Panda. Their cause is unjust!
(Also, Free Tibet)
Need some help, folks. Recently there was a link to an article by a member of the Church of Warmenlogy wherein the author used explicitly religious language (i.e., sin, penance, etc.) in the quoted paragraph.
I failed to save the link at the time and now cannot find the entry at all. Anyone know the entry I’m talking about?
So, what of those eevil Athenians and their eternal Olympic flame ...
I understand in China they have a unique carbon offset program involving the neutralisation of people who support democracy. That lady really needs to get up to speed.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2008 04 09 at 07:09 PM • permalinkOT: Here is a picture of a soldier, accused of murdering four family members.. Quiz, now who does he look like? I just can’t put my finger on it.
By the time this pyro parade is over, it will have produced about 11 million pounds of carbon emissions …
Does that include the carbon offsets?
Just had a thought. Yes, that is dangerous. Anyway, if the kid planting the tree for the offset farts while planting the tree, does it cancel the offset? Who pays for the tree for that fart?
Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 04 10 at 02:16 PM • permalinkIs there any truth to the rumor that wronwright was last seen running through the Mojave with a Chinese torch in one hand and a polar bear costume under the other arm?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 04 10 at 08:53 PM • permalinkNo, it was a Torch Singer and a Teddie.
Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2008 04 11 at 06:32 PM • permalink
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I KNEW it! As soon as I did a bit on Knut, Tim would put up another post. Let’s see, how to justify this…
Oops! Wrong thread!
*******
Zookeeper (walks up to Knut and coughs politely to get his attention): Knut, Cindy the she-bear is really anxious to meet you.
Knut (walking on an exercise treadmill while reading the Financial Times): Just a minute (reads aloud to himself) – “A former director of the New York Mercantile Exchange yesterday pleaded guilty to charges of illegal trading…” – You see, this is why I put my surplus funds in bank certificates of deposit. Sorry, what were you saying?
Zookeeper: I said, Cindy the she-bear is…you know… ready for a little canoodling.
Knut: Gawd! Are you at it again? Still trying to get me to mate with that…that…bear?
Zookeeper: Knut, listen. You’ve got to mate with Cindy. The papers are all complaining about how attached you’ve become to humans, and how you’ve been ruined for normal polar bear life.
Knut: Ruined for normal polar bear life? Oh, you mean eating raw fish and inattentive Eskimos, and hanging out on ice floes and getting chased off of crowded beaches by angry walruses? Perish the thought! Why wouldn’t I be all over that deal? Do you mind? You’re standing in my light. (Resumes reading Financial Times).
Zookeeper: Please, Knut! Our zoo is becoming a laughing stock.
Knut: Oh, man, get off my back, will you? *Sigh*. All right, all right. Tell you what I’ll do: bring my car around and I’ll take her to the movies. I think there’s a Fritz Lang festival going on downtown.
Zookeeper: I said “mate” not “date”!
Knut ( Rises to his full height, and looks at the zookeeper with withering contempt): If you are seriously suggesting, sir, that I would stoop to fornication – with a bear, mind you, and furthermore, with a bear to whom I have not even been properly introduced – then we have nothing further to discuss (folds Financial Times, slaps it under his arm, and marches into cave, angrily slamming French doors).