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CRI 4 HALP
US troops take their concerns directly to Senator John Kerry:
Meanwhile, as always, Kerry is flipping. His initial response to criticism of his latest goofiness:
A furious Kerry refused to back down, saying he would never apologize ...
And now:
I personally apologize to any service member, family member, or American who was offended.
Evil Dick Cheney joins in the fun:
Yesterday Dick Cheney, the Vice-President, twisted the knife ... “Of course, now Senator Kerry says he was just making a joke. I guess we didn’t get the nuance. He was for the joke before he was against it.”
Mr Kerry has previously attacked the so-called “chicken-hawks” who have cast aspersions on his military record, while never seeing combat themselves. Yesterday he made no reference to how Mr Bush had avoided service in Vietnam, perhaps because it would have meant conceding that the President had got better grades than him at Yale.
Much more on this from James Taranto.
(Via LGF and many readers)
Turns out what I posted here is not the full statement. The full statement is worse.
Statement of Senator John Kerry
As a combat veteran, I want to make it clear to anyone in uniform and to their loved ones: my poorly stated joke at a rally was not about, and never intended to refer to any troop.
I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted to wrongly imply anything negative about those in uniform, and I personally apologize to any service member, family member, or American who was offended.
It is clear the Republican Party would rather talk about anything but their failed security policy. I don’t want my verbal slip to be a diversion from the real issues. I will continue to fight for a change of course to provide real security for our country, and a winning strategy for our troops.
Classy.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 11 01 at 08:55 PM • permalinktrainer… but remember, as the Democrats haven’t… those troops vote, both overseas and at home…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 01 at 09:10 PM • permalinkTrainer is right, Rebecca. But I think we have to thank the voters of Massachusetts for giving us Kennedy and Kerry. If we didn’t have them, we’d have to invent them.
Posted by crittenden on 2006 11 01 at 09:18 PM • permalinkwaitaminit, Jules…...do you mean to say that we didn’t invent Kerry and Kennedy?!?!?!?
WRONWRIGHT!!!!!!! You have some ‘splainin’ to do!!!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 01 at 09:28 PM • permalinkI love the international exposure this is getting. The traditional media are merely following what is happening on-line.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 01 at 09:35 PM • permalinkThe real JeffS—hey, be fair, dude. Wronwright was only in charge of tricking Kerry into stealing the guy’s cookie store…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 01 at 09:40 PM • permalinkYou just have to love the military sense of humour.
That photo is an absolute classic.
Wherever they are posted, no matter how tough the conditions, the troops can always come up with a “laugh out loud” comment.
Compare that to the swarming, ululating and hate filled screaming of the Islamofascists whenever a TV camera is pointed in their direction.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 11 01 at 09:47 PM • permalinkAccording to Seymour Hersh these troops are part of “the most murderous and violent US Army ever.”
Hey, maybe those guys in the picture on top there ain’t so smart as the Massachusettes elitocrats, maybe not, maybe, but they know a joke when they see (hear) one. Beats that Champion of Nuance, the brilliant one with the fragrent hair, who is so brilliant he can’t get the punch line right in a 4 line joke(?). (I’d rather have my family protected by the likes of them above than by all the girlie-men crawling around the Demorat party.)
“Yer ma wears Army boots. And yer pa’s a Kerry lover!”
Yep, that’d make my blood boil.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 01 at 10:14 PM • permalinkI personally apologize to any service member, family member, or American who was offended.
Not enough. I demand his resignation from the US Senate. I want his letter of resignation on my desk by 4 pm tomorrow. Um, I might let it go to 5 pm since the time changed this week end and I’m not exactly sure what time it is.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 01 at 10:16 PM • permalinkUnlike Democratic elites, I actually know (and/or am related to) active service personnel in Iraq. Except for a Marine corporal that I taught in high school ( he’s a 2002 graduate one of Newsweek’s ‘Top American High Schools’), the bulk are college educated doctors and lawyers.
I was a Democrat my entire life until 9/11 (I didn’t vote for Bush in 2000). I know a lot of people just like me. I have never heard of a person who was Republican until 9/11 and then switched to the Democratic Party.
Why, John Kerry, do you suppose that is?
#10 TRJS -
WRONWRIGHT!!!!!!! You have some ‘splainin’ to do!!!!!
sshhhhhh. You woke me from my beauty nap. I have to get my 12 hours sleep or I’ll start getting facial wrinkles like McEnroe.
Please don’t listen to crittenden. He’s new to this blog so he’s not privy to the, well, you know. The VRWC thingy. He lives in Boston, he’s a journalist, my god, that’s two strikes against him. If he went to college at Antioch, I’d know for sure he’s a leftwing mole. As it is, I trust him as much as that tunnel under Boston Bay.
As far as Kerry goes, yes, he’s a Dembot. Of course! Dah. Who else would blather some insanely stupid comment just days before the election?
Kennedy is real. A real rich privileged ass. Our dembots are good but they ain’t that good.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 01 at 10:29 PM • permalinkMore . . . Tales from the Magic Hat!
General Giap’s Boxer shorts: You what?
Magic Hat: I tipped off Drudge to the picture of the GI’s and their banner making fun of John.
Ho Chi Minh’s Sandals: Whooooeee! Man, when John finds out, he’s gonna use you as a rag to polish the brass on his yacht! I sure wouldn’t want to be in your hat band.
Magic Hat: I don’t care anymore! I’m sick of living a lie! And I’m tired of riding around on that moron’s head!
The door bursts open. A fedora rushes in.
Magic Hat: Oh no! It’s one of John’s goons! Oh well. It is a far, far better thing that I do . . .
Fedora: Skip the melodrama, MH. This is in the nature of a rescue. We’ve got to move quickly. Kerry knows all.
Magic Hat: I’m not afraid of being thrown away.
Fedora: He doesn’t plan on throwing you away. He plans on giving you to Ted Kennedy as a birthday present.
Magic Hat: But I can’t swim!
Fedora: Get a grip. I’m placing you in protective custody.
Magic Hat: You mean . . .?
Fedora: That’s right. I’m taking you to the hat bin at the Super Wal-Mart in Richmond. You’ll have a shot at a new life. A new beginning.
Magic Hat: Oh, thank you, Fedora! How can I ever thank you?
Fedora: There’s no time for that now. C’mon. I’ve got a hat box waiting in the car.
General Giap’s Boxer Shorts: What about us?
Fedora: I don’t carry briefs for commies. And I don’t carry commie briefs.
Ho Chi Minh’s Sandals: Oh, please, sir. We’ve reformed.
General Giap’s Boxer shorts: That’s right. We’re done with all that Marxist BS. Take us with you!
Fedora: Well, it’s against my better judgment . . . but ok. I might be able to find a place for you in a thrift shop or something. C’mon boys. Let’s roll.
“I don’t carry briefs for commies. And I don’t carry commie briefs.”
HAHAHA
I just shot oj out my nose onto my keyboard…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 01 at 11:17 PM • permalinkYou woke me from my beauty nap. I have to get my 12 hours sleep or I’ll start getting facial wrinkles like McEnroe.
Ain’t no amount of “beauty” sleep is gonna cure your wrinkles, wronwright.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 01 at 11:37 PM • permalinkOn reflection I’ve decided that Kerry really has been unfairly maligned in this episode.
He really was trying a funny joke but got his words messed up. The joke goes something like:
If you’re lazy and don’t study you could end up with a degree at Yale, a Masters at Harvard, an F-101 pilot, oil company owner, governor of Texas and two-term US president.
Not as good as a line from Homer Simpson, but with a little practice…
Smithovitch, you’re onto something. Because he probably figured that would be funny in the horse-faced, old New England island-owning gentry he’s always been on the periphery of, even after he married $600 million worth of ketchup.
As for you, Wronwright, everyone knows “VRWC” is what it says on Queen Victoria’s outhouse. Sheesh. Get a Tardis.Posted by crittenden on 2006 11 02 at 12:46 AM • permalinkI’ve said it before, but Paco, you’re a sketch. That was great. I’m still giggling.
Kerry really is an inept fool, isn’t he. He has the tinniest ear of any politician I’ve ever seen. What a joke.
The banner is great. These guys are the real Americans. They have the confidence of Americans; the confidence to take an insult and turn it against the idiot who couldn’t tell a joke if his life, or the election, depended on it. Ya gotta love ‘em.
No y’all what Kerry meant to say (I mean as long as we’re all expected to read his mind and stuff) was this: ” You know, education—if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you can do well. If you don’t, you’ll just have to marry money.”
P.S. Paco’s so heroic even his damn haberdashery sneaks out nights to buckle swash!
Hey, if you’re looking for a good time re Kerry, you gotta go here. Check the comments.
Posted by crittenden on 2006 11 02 at 01:56 AM • permalink#36 - Jules, the most revealing comment on the thread was the one where one of the leftards responded to your very moving column thusly:
“Most days I can read your column with a grain of salt. Tonight it is with utter disgust.”
Folks, check out the thread, click on Jules’ link, read his column, and ask yourself what kind of person would respond to it with “disgust.”
I did, Dave. Jules’ column was somber and straightforward. But it went against Kerry, and painted our troops as intelligent, caring, and loyal people. That Pamela found it “disgusting” speaks ill of her. I’m looking forward to her reply.
From a scientific perspective, of course. This is like discovering a new species.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 02 at 02:22 AM • permalinkCrittenden: Nice column, as usual. Didn’t disgust me a bit.
Speaking of disgust: The people on that blog have constructed a true bizarro world for themselves. JK doesn’t have to worry a bit; they are loyal, and they’ve got his back. The people who have spoken out about his latest gaffe are just worried about Kerry in ‘08.
I noticed, too, that they are ready with their excuses (we wuz robbed!) should the election not go as planned.
I’ve not read the comments yet, but I received this in the mail from a mate:
(This email was posted on an internet bulletin board… it’s from a Sgt who is currently serving in Iraq for the second time as an Arabic linguist.)
Yesterday John Kerry said, “You know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well, and if you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq”
So I wrote him a letter:
I am a Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps. I am currently on my second tour in Iraq, a tour in which I volunteered for. I speak Arabic and Spanish and I plan to tackle Persian Farsi soon. I have a Bachelors and an Associates Degree and between deployments I am pursuing an M.B.A. In college I was a member of several academic honor societies, including the Golden Key Honor Society. I am not unique among the enlisted troops. Many of my enlisted colleagues include lawyers, teachers, mechanics, engineers, musicians and artists just to name a few. You say that your comments were directed towards the President and not us. If we were stupid Senator Kerry, we might have believed you.
I am not a victim of President Bush. I proudly serve him because he is my Commander and Chief. If it was you who was President, I would serve you just as faithfully. I serve America Senator Kerry, and I am also providing a service to the good people of Iraq. I have not terrorized them in the middle of the night, raped them or murdered them as you have accused me of before. I am doing my part to help them rebuild. My role is a simple one, but important. You see Senator Kerry, like it or not, we came here and removed a tyrant (who terrorized Iraqis in the middle of the night, and raped them and murdered them). And we have a responsibility to see to it that another one doesn’t take his place. The people of Iraq are recovering from an abusive relationship with a terrible government and it’s going to take some time to help them recover from that. We can’t treat this conflict like a microwave dinner and throw a temper tantrum because we feel like it’s taking too long.
Senator Kerry, you don’t have to agree with this war. You don’t have to say nice things about those of us who choose to make sacrifices for the rights of every American rather than sit back and simply feel entitled to it. But please Senator Kerry, if you’re going to call me a stupid murdering rapist, stick by what you say. Don’t tell me that I misunderstood or that you would never insult a veteran because you’re one too. Having been there and done that does not give you a free pass to insult me.
My suggestion for you, Senator Kerry, is to remember that your speeches are recorded, and broadcast to us simpletons over here. You may want to write down what you want to say before you say it, maybe have somebody look at it before you say it and tell you what others might hear. Remember that we can’t read your mind, if there are any misinterpretations in what you say, it’s because you didn’t communicate clearly.
Good luck to you Senator Kerry, if nothing else it’s always entertaining to watch you try and climb out of the holes that you constantly dig for yourself.
Sincerely,
Somebody who is watching his daughter grow up in photographs so that you can have the right to say whatever you want about him.Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 02 at 04:57 AM • permalinkI hope I don’t get anybody into trouble for posting that.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 02 at 05:11 AM • permalinkExcellent letter indeed.
A well-deserved kick in the guts for the Senator.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 02 at 06:07 AM • permalinkI don’t know the author, guys, but I trust the source who supplied it to me. They asked for anonymity.
The letter is indeed remarkable, and I am hoping to hear that Kerry has suffered a massive dose of cognitive dissonance.
Of course, I’m not holding my breath - I’m not that optimistic!
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 02 at 06:13 AM • permalinkWell, that’s just swell. I just check Tim’s sitemeter that tracks how many people read the comments posted for each commenter here for the month of October. There were a lot commenters huddled closely together at the top including paco, crittenden, and Iowahawk.
(curls fingers in wriggly motion)
Whereas I got three. Three! Even Miranda got more than me.
And no fucking wonder. crittenden started writing his series of the zany tales of the three Muslims. And Iowahawk (wriggly fingers) did his usual genius takes on current events. And paco, never missing an opportunity, first syndicated the Paco Industries line of products. And then the tales of Detective paco, PI. Now he’s gone into the travails of the magic hat?
I’m getting me a freaking writer. I wonder if Kerry’s joke writer is available?
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 02 at 06:44 AM • permalink# Wronwright I don’t understand how to look at that sort of information anyway, so you’re still doing better than I am!
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 02 at 06:49 AM • permalink#26 TRJS -
Ain’t no amount of “beauty” sleep is gonna cure your wrinkles, wronwright.
Are they noticeable? I was kind of worrying about that. I think that comes from wielding the evil power of the VRWC. You should see Karl.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 02 at 07:08 AM • permalink#45
In college I was a member of several academic honor societies, including the Golden Key Honor Society.
What do you know, I was pretty happy when I was asked to become a member of the Golden Key Honours Society but now I know I’m in excellent company I am extremely proud. This bloke should be the next guest speaker for the Society as he is truly leading by example.
As for the picture I can really see why Australians and Americans get along with our similar humour. Someone tries to hang shit on us we turn it on them.John Kerry should get the 2006 hoof in mouth award. Does he have the human form of BSE or something?
Posted by Andrew Ian Dodge on 2006 11 02 at 07:51 AM • permalink``Hafta wonder about Flamboyant John’s reaction to the photo.’‘
He’ll probably say ``See? I was right all along.’’ Irony isn’t his strong suit.
Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 11 02 at 08:16 AM • permalinkNo 37-38 Dave and Jeff ... I can’t take you guys anywhere. Showing up sober and not breaking anything! Geez. But thanks. It’s important to know what your enemies are thinking. Staging panty raids is also fun. Dave: Embed. RDS from here, by the way? Pretty sure I recognized the name ... now that’s trolling.
Posted by crittenden on 2006 11 02 at 09:04 AM • permalink#51 wronwright: this is how it works. You just keep reading your own stuff over and over and over, admiringly. Like me and Paco do. Drives the numbers way up. Or, be brilliant, like Iowahawk. This means you have some work to do. A. Learn how to read. Something other than petroglyphs, that is. Or, plan B. Become brilliant.
Posted by crittenden on 2006 11 02 at 09:19 AM • permalinkCrusader, 91B30, Powerline IDs them as 1 BCT 34th Inf, MN NG, and link indicates they are in the vincinity of Ur (readers will remember Wronwright getting drunk on Sumerian mead and throwing stuff off the ziggurat there), so Talil is a good bet.
Posted by crittenden on 2006 11 02 at 09:58 AM • permalink#65 crittenden—
I wasn’t just throwing stuff off the ziggurat for the heck of it. I was throwing mud bricks and empty mead casks at some of Gilgamesh’s imperial guards. They were trying to shish kebab me!
Anyway, that was around 2600 BC. How do you know about that?
(looks menacingly in the general direction of MarkL, blabbermouth 3rd class)
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 02 at 11:31 AM • permalinkStaging panty raids is also fun.
It is indeed, Jules. But the target has to wear panties for there to be a panty raid. I’m not sure that Pamela and her ilk even understand the concept of “clothing”, since they come across so openly naked.
In a political sense, of course. ;-)
Honestly, I didn’t see the value of debating Pamela after she said:
“If he <Jules> hadn’t bashed the good Senator from MA who I deeply admire I wouldn’t have been nearly so offended.”
Between that and the rest of the virtual fellation of Kerry by the crowd at that blog, any “debate” would be semantically equal to throwing rocks at a brick wall, and not worth the mental effort.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 02 at 11:50 AM • permalinkCrittenden-there was a high resolution copy of the picture linked earlier and you can clearly see the Red Bull symbol on one soldier’s right sleeve (combat patch) and on one of the connexes in the background. It is safe to assume that they are probably form either the FSB or headquarters element from the brigade (due to the presence of females), probably their Charlie Med company.
I am almost certain that the building is the TMC at Talil-which I figure that the Charlie Med from the FSB took over when it arrived. The ziggurat is within sight of that building and physically on the grounds of the base (now named Ali Air Base by the Iraqis). It was pretty cool to go over there and look around-the guide would come out and give his tour and talk about “imagination pictures” of what the area looked like in ancient times.
I have seen some pictures on the Aussie Army’s website which show some of the diggers roaming around the area.
Dave: Embed.
Oh, great. Yet another dude on this blog with big brass swingin’ balls. Why don’t you and Jeff and El Cid and Texas Bob and all the rest go kill a bear with some improvised weapon from nature and eat it raw?
Sigh. I’m going to go brew a cup of herbal tea and work on my scrapbooking now.
Wron, let’s just say I have my sources in Mesopotamia ...
Dave S., there was a commenter after you guys on that site called RDS, sounded familiar, and was making what looked like it might be a clever reverse troll attack about how the fact that everyone in the picture looked white was proof it was clearly a Republican plot. Or maybe it was bonafide lefty racism. Hard to say.
That site is in fact an unrepentant Kerry fellating site. They think he’s the second coming. It’s fascinating. I throw things over there sometimes to rile them up.
Re my balls, thanks but I’m just a scribbling hanger on. Those guys are the real deal.
Posted by crittenden on 2006 11 02 at 02:21 PM • permalink#56 - probably enough to crash the server.
Yeah, that is the Brigade Troops Battalion, 1-34th ID.
Been a while since I was in the 34th ID, but I did have some of the 1-168th INF with me in Afghanistan. Good troops, they were.
Posted by Major John on 2006 11 02 at 02:58 PM • permalink#73 Dave S -
Sigh. I’m going to go brew a cup of herbal tea and work on my scrapbooking now.
This is very funny.
But I’ve too have begun noticing that there seems to be more than a few manly soldier types loitering around this blog lately. And I don’t think that’s necessary. They just walk in with their straight posture and crisply ironed uniforms and lean against the bar. When that happens, none of the ladies seem to take any interest in my collection of Swavkorski crystal figurines. Not even the rainbow unicorn.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 02 at 08:31 PM • permalinkYeah! They think they’re so tough with their uniforms and their rippling biceps and their chiseled pecs and their steely yet deep eyes that show manly resolve while hinting at a deep vulnerable sensitivity we can only hope to touch one day… I’m sorry, I gayed out there for a second. What were we talking about?
Aaaarrrgggggggggggg.
Dave S, Crusader is another one of them. Kind of wish I was drafted for Vietnam now, even though I was in grade school at the time. About now would be a good time to bring up the time I took the swift boat into Cambodia and took out some Charlie. As it is, I might as well put away by figurine collection, even the prancing ponies. I think those ladies have attention deficit disorder.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 03 at 06:55 AM • permalink
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So how did Puce get to Iraq?