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HE’LL TELL US WHAT TO DO

Straight out of the socialist realism school is this Archibald-entered portrait of great leader Peter Garrett:
image
Odd that such a mighty entity is so easily brought down by morning TV presenters, and requires the likes of a Traceeee to defend him.

Posted by Tim B. on 02/25/2007 at 11:15 AM

  1. Sorry.  My first impression was Night of the Living Dead.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 02 25 at 11:26 AM • permalink

  2. Something about the hands suggests the word “wanker.”

    Posted by McAnzac on 2007 02 25 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  3. Peter Garrett should be depicted holding the book To Serve Man.

    Posted by JDB on 2007 02 25 at 11:57 AM • permalink

  4. Yeah, exactly what is he doing with his fingers?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 25 at 11:58 AM • permalink

  5. He really ought to be bearing a banner and exhorting the workers of State Tractor Factory #137 to even greater feats of productivity.  Down with wreckers, comrades!

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 02 25 at 12:05 PM • permalink

  6. God he’s aged. (I last saw him when Midnight Oil played a biker bar in Ft. Lauderdale in the 80s.)

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 02 25 at 12:12 PM • permalink

  7. “Straight out of the socialist realism school”

    Looks like Stalin after a chemo treatment.

    Only uglier.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 25 at 12:16 PM • permalink

  8. Put a scar on his left cheek and he’d be working the late shift at Bergen-Belsen.

    Posted by GaryS on 2007 02 25 at 12:28 PM • permalink

  9. “Pull my finger”.

    Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 02 25 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  10. Boy, The Thing has lost a lot of weight!

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2007 02 25 at 12:54 PM • permalink

  11. An intellectual carrot! The mind boggles!

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 25 at 01:07 PM • permalink

  12. He really ought to be bearing a banner and exhorting the workers of State Tractor Factory #137 to even greater feats of productivity.

    I think the workers of State Tractor Factory #137 sewed that shirt. What’s with those buttons?

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 25 at 01:09 PM • permalink

  13. It’s a Peoples’ Shirt, Dave S.  Soon all the progressives will be wearing them.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 02 25 at 01:20 PM • permalink

  14. His expression is grim….mayhaps he’s looking at Traceeeeeee while posing?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 25 at 01:22 PM • permalink

  15. #9 Heh, crispy.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 25 at 02:11 PM • permalink

  16. Pretty ordinary head-tilt though.

    Posted by AlphaMikeFoxtrot on 2007 02 25 at 03:05 PM • permalink

  17. I must admit, when I first saw this on TV, my first thought was: the rendering of the shirt is crap! And Garrett’s face is simply an extension of the shirt; all wrinkles and creases. The overall effect is to look like it was assembled by Victor Frankenstein (that’s “FrankenstEEn”!)

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 25 at 03:37 PM • permalink

  18. Somebody in this group who is a member of Fark.com ought to post it there as a Photoshop challenge.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 02 25 at 03:45 PM • permalink

  19. Maybe going back to the family vinyard wasn’t such a good idea for Jean-Luc Picard after all…

    Posted by PW on 2007 02 25 at 04:07 PM • permalink

  20. Isn’t he supposed to have a compact fluorescent light bulb in his mouth?

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 02 25 at 04:45 PM • permalink

  21. I refuse to listen to someone who cannot manage a simple tool like an iron.

    He looks like a sullen adolescent—unattractive enough in an actual adolescent, damned unattractive in a grown-old man.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 02 25 at 04:49 PM • permalink

  22. if he’s going to have one hand larger than the other, shouldn’t the larger one be the left hand?

    Posted by dub kitty on 2007 02 25 at 05:03 PM • permalink

  23. If the prize is awarded on the basis of “gayness,” this will win

    Posted by Pericles on 2007 02 25 at 05:10 PM • permalink

  24. That must be a hand, it’s right there at the end of his arm. 
    From now on, socialist realists who cannot paint hands must pose their “The Hills Have Eyes” models with hands in pockets.  Preferably slouching on a street corner like a capitalist western Hooligan.

    Posted by Carl H on 2007 02 25 at 05:12 PM • permalink

  25. Is he giving the finger to the government?

    At least it’s going to rain in the painting. :)

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 25 at 05:31 PM • permalink

  26. Maxine McKew will be next.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 25 at 05:31 PM • permalink

  27. ‘Igor, now I must give my creation LIFE!’

    Posted by Byron in Wahroonga on 2007 02 25 at 05:49 PM • permalink

  28. Item 10 in our auction today, Stormchaser With Unflicked Booger….

    Posted by kiwinews on 2007 02 25 at 05:53 PM • permalink

  29. Fark, guys, I’m choking on my weetbix here!

    Hahahahahaah.Damn you, kiwinews. That has to win the caption contest.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 02 25 at 06:28 PM • permalink

  30. He isn’t giving the finger, he is giving “the forks” as we used to call it in primary school.  A forks in the road perhaps?

    Posted by tony_e on 2007 02 25 at 07:07 PM • permalink

  31. “Braaaains…”

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 02 25 at 07:19 PM • permalink

  32. A well rendered portrait of the bourgeois progressive – vacant eyes mirror the vacant soul and listless fingers depict the dead hand of socialism.
    WARNING: this is Australia’s future under an ALP government

    Posted by larrikin on 2007 02 25 at 07:30 PM • permalink

  33. #4   Yeah, exactly what is he doing with his fingers?

    From the way he’s playing with his middle finger & from the look on his face maybe he’s about to give Kevin the bird.

    Posted by Spag_oz on 2007 02 25 at 07:50 PM • permalink

  34. It’s been done.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 25 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  35. #26
    ‘Plastic Howard’, Rudd, places Max emphasis in PM’s electorate.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 25 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  36. #34 heh heh, a case of still life immitating art

    Posted by larrikin on 2007 02 25 at 08:29 PM • permalink

  37. Should win the Bald Arhie prize ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 25 at 08:33 PM • permalink

  38. Damn you, Richard McEnroe, for beating me to the ‘Hills have eyes’ joke by two lousy posts!  Anyway, shouldn’t the Dear Leader be pointing to the horizon, surrounded by adoring factory workers, soldiers and schoolchildren?  Peter Garrett as Thor, Flannery as a globe-grabbing God - good thing these people have no delusions of grandeur.  Speaking of which, Maxine McKew has already passed the first test of ALP megalomania (on ABC radio this morning): referring to herself in the third person.

    Posted by cuckoo on 2007 02 25 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  39. ‘You rang? Grrrr ...’

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 25 at 08:35 PM • permalink

  40. Or try the old version of Dave Bowman (Keir Dullea) at the end of 2001.

    Dave’s Head

    Posted by DaneF on 2007 02 25 at 08:38 PM • permalink

  41. Puddin’ uhn duh Riiiiidz!

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 25 at 08:55 PM • permalink

  42. A message from Propaganda Artists for Coveters of Office

    Posted by Vexorg on 2007 02 25 at 10:21 PM • permalink

  43. And 50 bonus points for the first person who can translate that.  (note:  bonus points not actually good for anything.)

    Posted by Vexorg on 2007 02 25 at 10:23 PM • permalink

  44. I reckon he looks like he tried to cut one, and followed-through. He’s got that “don’t want to walk to fast ‘cos it only spreads it ‘round” look on his cadaverous kisser.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 25 at 10:50 PM • permalink

  45. Heard he went in for a vasectomy and the surgeon started at the shoulders.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 25 at 11:58 PM • permalink

  46. #42 - that is sweet!

    And 50 bonus points for the first person who can translate that.

    LOOK WHAT AMERICAN ATOMIC TERRORISTS DID TO LT. COL. GLENN MANNING!

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 26 at 12:33 AM • permalink

  47. Whoops, forgot the link:

    LOOK WHAT AMERICAN ATOMIC TERRORISTS DID TO LT. COL. GLENN MANNING!

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 26 at 12:39 AM • permalink

  48. I know it’s late, but I’ve just my entry for the Archies, also featuring the member for Kingsford Smith, wearing a rollneck sweater. (NSFW!!!)

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 26 at 12:45 AM • permalink

  49. #48- PIMF (again) justed LODGED my entry…........

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 26 at 12:46 AM • permalink

  50. Not a bad portrait, but this is better

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 26 at 01:01 AM • permalink

  51. yep, it’s a latter-day Lurch.

    Posted by kae on 2007 02 26 at 01:18 AM • permalink

  52. Lay off us artists- he’s a difficult subject, as you only get to sit him after dark (parliament must be so busy), and it’s nigh on impossible to get the light right.

    What’s more, he’s very humble and won’t allow any mirrors anywhere near him, and despite his religious beliefs refuses to allow symbols of his savior to be on view lest they offend those who don’t share his piety.

    Don’t know what he’s got against garlic though, and his press secretary didn’t seem to be a comitted vegan, if fact I’m sure some of the beetles he offered were endangered. Perhaps it’s part of the price of representing a multicultural electorate.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 26 at 01:35 AM • permalink

  53. Looks like he’s the popular scrote ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 26 at 01:41 AM • permalink

  54. Her personal crisis obviously taking its toll, a haggard Britney Spears enters rehab . . .

    Posted by Tai Chi Wawa on 2007 02 26 at 01:56 AM • permalink

  55. Scary thing is it was one of those “aura” photos it was based on.

    Hmmm, black and grey tormented looking. with a bald scrote giving vaugely fruedian finger signals.

    (Puts on Freud outfit) ” As you can see the left index finger represents the phallus, while the forked index and middle finger of the right suggest a womans legs being forced open. Mr Garret, tell me about your mother….”

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 02 26 at 02:12 AM • permalink

  56. #55
    Looks like he’s had too much aural sex ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 26 at 02:33 AM • permalink

  57. This entry is in clear breach of the Archie rule that the painting must not be done from a photo. He is clearly laid out on a slab in the morgue and rigour mortis has set in.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 02 26 at 03:06 AM • permalink

  58. Those fingers:
    “Our two main weapons are Celebrities, Union Hacks and Machine Men ... er, our Three main weapons are .... Celebrities, Union Hacks, Machine Men ... and their kids ... d’oh!
    Our Four main weapons ...”

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 02 26 at 05:57 AM • permalink

  59. How nice. With his money, he can afford to be distraught over life’s injustice.
    Get a job you no-talent gas bag.  Look into either the butler or apple picking professions.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 02 26 at 06:20 AM • permalink

  60. Did James Carville sit for that?  Fits.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 02 26 at 11:21 AM • permalink

  61. That looks like Tim Blair’s shirt in the topic above.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 26 at 05:38 PM • permalink

  62. The last time I saw a hand with those proportions was in the movie Total Recall.

    Posted by fclark on 2007 02 26 at 06:55 PM • permalink

    63. Page 1 of 1 pages

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