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HOLY DOCUMENT VIOLATED
A young Canadian Gore disciple – he’s seen An Inconvenient Truth three times - attends a Gore lecture, only to discover something terrible:
I had read blog comments before which indicated that Al Gore is a religious man, which intrigued me, because from his movie, he comes across as a man who is ready to accept science as the proper methodology (versus evangelical faith in biblical literalism). He did not mention any kind of religious beliefs in the movie …
During his live slideshow today, however, he showed his true colors. One of his slides was a quote from Genesis, which he used to show that humans are the stewards of biodiversity.
The blasphemer quotes rival scripture!
The slide I found particularly interesting/shocking/sad, was his new(?) slide containing a graph of human population growth over the past couple hundred-thousand years. It started off good. He pointed at the beginning of the graph, showing the population of humans on Earth from 200,000 years ago, and referred to the “rise of humans.”
Cool beans. So he believes that Homo sapiens evolved from other hominid ancestors, right? Nope.
In the very same breath, he then continued to explain that according to his religious beliefs, this “rise of humans” was God’s creation of mankind - apparently 200,000 years ago. His graph then changed to include the caption “Adam & Eve” above this starting point.
Apparently those words are a grave insult to the Sciencian faith.
He tarnishes his beautifully crafted presentation by not only stating his belief in creationism - but by placing the words “Adam and Eve” right on the slide (which is actually a scientific graph) as a caption explaining the beginnings of mankind.
He put the terrible words RIGHT ON A SCIENTIFIC GRAPH? Forget Korans down toilets, people. This is serious.
(Via Paul Wright)
These people are idiots. How do they remember to breathe without one of their precious magical* scientific graphs to tell them how and when?
*Or should that be “magickal”?
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 05 03 at 05:36 AM • permalinkPS: he programs in COBOL for a living? What, is he blogging via time machine? I didn’t think anyone used COBOL anymore. (My coworker can’t seem to impress anyone with that item on her resume.) Canada is a more primitive country than I realized.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 05 03 at 05:37 AM • permalinkThose who live by the graph, die by the graph.
I’m working on a nice graph that this spawn of protozoa might like. I call it The De-evolution of Mankind and Its Return to Protozoa Due to Global Warming Graph. It clearly depicts the drastic downward trend of thought patterns and California’s imminent submersion under the Pacific.Young Stevo rang me today after school and said he attended an “An Inconvenient Truth” lecture at his school here in Sydney’s south. He said it was a rerun of Al Gore’s movie in the school assembly hall, with all the graphs and stuff, except it was presented by an Australian climate convert. He’s seen the documentary three times already at school, twice in Science and once in Geography. I’m getting a bit worried about his schooling. The good thing is that he has a good dose of scepticism, unlike his younger sister who attends the same school. My daughter who also sat in the same lecture today, said to me 5 minutes ago, “Get over it dad, global warming is happening.” Get ‘em young.
Meanwhile an Australian researcher proves observed warming cannot be caused by greenhouse gases.
Expect mass apostasy amoung anthropogenic global warming believers (not).
So Gore’s broken the first commandment:
You shall have no other gods before Gaia
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 05 03 at 06:25 AM • permalink#7 TBob. Waiting for your presentation, sir.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 05 03 at 06:28 AM • permalinkAl Gore doesn’t believe in God, he is God. He even wrote the book.
Posted by Not My Problem on 2007 05 03 at 06:34 AM • permalinkConsidering there’re some branches of evolutionary theory that claim to have genetically traced us back hundreds of thousands of years to our common ancestors, dubbed “Adam and Eve”, what’s this guy’s beef? Would he be more comfortable in the knowledge that “Adam” and “Eve” are not just used as proper names, but mean “man” and “woman” in Hebrew?
Doesn’t he believe in Eve-olution?
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 05 03 at 06:38 AM • permalinkConsidering there’re some branches of evolutionary theory that claim to have genetically traced us back hundreds of thousands of years to our common ancestors, dubbed “Adam and Eve”, what’s this guy’s beef?
Well, clearly it means Gore’s a homophobe. It should have been “Adam and Steve”.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 05 03 at 06:41 AM • permalinkWell, clearly it means Gore’s a homophobe. It should have been “Adam and Steve”.
I was thinking more of “Anna and Eve” (as I often do - LOL)
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 05 03 at 06:53 AM • permalinkAl Gore invented the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The character Adam was based on him.
Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2007 05 03 at 07:53 AM • permalinkSpeaking of alGor
Experts target rice as climate culprit
Methane emissions from flooded rice paddies contribute to global warming just as coal-fired power plants, automobile exhausts and other sources do with the carbon dioxide they spew into the atmosphere.
Boston Globe
via
Instapundit#28
#20 adamah dust.
According to Strong’s: a human being (an individual or the species, mankind, etc.)
Hebrew version of Eve = Chavvah, meaning “life-giver”
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 05 03 at 08:21 AM • permalinkThe problem with fundamentalist atheists is that their minds can’t comprehend religious people who believe in science and that there’s not really a contradiction there. Gore was simply using Adam and Eve as an ALlegory. What I’m wondering is, what does the rise of humankind 200,000 years ago have to do with
global warmingclimate changeenvironmentalist hysteria today?Methane emissions from flooded rice paddies contribute to global warming just as coal-fired power plants, automobile exhausts and other sources do with the carbon dioxide they spew into the atmosphere.
Well, that’s it then - nothing to do now but starve the yellow and brown people to death. Hell, we’re already messing with the food supplies of the red and brown ones by diverting corn production from food crop to ethanol.
Why do I get the feeling that the environmentally perfect world will look like New Canaan, Connecticut - with more windmills and solar panels, of course?
Posted by rick mcginnis on 2007 05 03 at 09:39 AM • permalinkPoor little COBOL programmer! His bubble has burst! He’s seen An Inconvenient
TruthStatement!But I really enjoyed this part:
Al started off by telling the audience a few amusing jokes/stories, including how he used to fly on Air Force Two, and now he has to take off his shoes in order to get on a plane.
What happened to the Goreacles’ private jets? Budget cuts, and can’t afford those carbon offsets anymore? Getting
less hypocriticalgreener? Or just lying?He also mentioned that shortly after leaving the white house, he and his wife Tipper had been driving from their house in Nashville to a farm that they own nearby, when they decided to stop for dinner at a Shoney’s restaurant (Shoney’s is a chain of restaurants in the US). After they ordered up some food, he overheard their waitress talking to other customers - a couple - telling them that yes, that really is the former vice-president and his wife. He heard the man reply “He’s come a long way down, hasn’t he?”
Oooooooo!! Al is a man of the world! He’s down there with the little people, consorting with the unwashed massed in plebian eateries! Thank you, O Goreacle!
You pretentious twit.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 03 at 09:42 AM • permalinkMe am confused. Is this the same Genesis that tells us to “fill the earth, and subdue it…”?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 03 at 10:07 AM • permalinkrick mcginnis
with more windmills
No no….Walter “Vietnam” Cronkite and THE Kennedy’s already nixed that idea for Massachusetts and Rhode Island, I believe.
Connecticut, doesn’t stand a chance. Why that would be similar to putting a REAL red light district in The Hamptons (all know that intermingling of the sexes NOT married to each other happens everday, I’m speaking a real whorehouse….why they’d be aghast complete with fainting spells).
Solar panels, of course. If alGor says they are ok…why hell yes.
Can just hear it now…’(Mr)Amy my love, we need to install solar panels.’ ‘(Mrs) Yes Steven, we really should…(thinking wow, those contractors usually are hot and ready)’.
The halls of gummint are alive with COBOLds. Hell, I attained legend status in a state IT department for telling one to stop spamming the whole ITALL mailing list with mainframe tips. You can write web services for mainframes, but putting rubber tires on the horse buggy don’t make it a car. One of the pleasures of being a contractor, right there. That and getting paid in currency, not holidays.
I aqree with the guy. You can’t give a scientific presentation with the words “Adam and Eve” on a graph - not even the point of the graph either, just as a kind of by-the-way.
Where did he get the graph from? An actual scientist, (although one that didn’t invent the internet), and I’m betting they didn’t write “Adam and Eve” at the 200 thousand year mark.
Did Gore pencil it in himself?
It sounds to me like he’s trying to play both sides, the sneaky bastard.Posted by daddy dave on 2007 05 03 at 11:04 AM • permalinkCOBOL was alive and well until Jan 1, 2000, when it destroyed the earth with the millenium bug.
Posted by daddy dave on 2007 05 03 at 11:06 AM • permalinkUS Republicans want to build a better world for their children.
US Democrats want to control a better world for themselves.US Libertarians want some nachos, because they’re getting some fierce munchies, maaaaaan.
Posted by Tatterdemalian on 2007 05 03 at 11:12 AM • permalinkIf one doesn’t hear from paco today, it’s because of the Queen’s visit.
#53 El Cid
He’s doing the guard of honour thing for the Queen then?
Ah - the Queen visiting - brings back many happy memories of being bussed to some oval to sit there and wave lttle flags while the Queen drove around the oval in a big black topless Bentley (or something big and black)
As for all the rest - Algore, GW, Labor politics here, Branson’s conspiracy theory support - I’m ready to SCREAM with frustration
However chocolate has helped calm me down, and if any Aussies are still awake - a NZ made brand only found at Franklins supermarkets - Whittaker’s Chocolate is just bloody wonderful! The best choccie I have had in a while
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 05 03 at 11:36 AM • permalink#53: Confound it! I told that woman that we’d moved from Richmond to Fairfax! Now I’m probably going to have to get her a couple of seats on the 6:00 pm Greyhound bus. Besides, I’m the Colonial Master of the Wardrobe (Socks Division) for HRH Prince Phillip, and he’s going to be strolling around Richmond in one black sock and one brown sock and I’ll get blamed for it, and they’ll most likely dismiss me from the position and give it to my cousin, Bobo Van Hoy, who’s been angling for it for years (even picked himself out a cocked hat which he keeps hidden in the shed behind his wood-chipper). Maybe if I hurry on down there, I can catch up with them and take ‘em to lunch and smooth things over (now, where are those Chick-Fil-A coupons?).
#40
If mankind hadn’t rose up 200000 years ago, there’d be no environmentalists around to get all hysterical and whatnot, and then who’d buy Priuseses and lecture us on the Global Warmening?? ‘Course, everybody knows that the climate NEVER changed and no species EVER went extinct before Adam and Eve showed up and started screwing around with things. Yep, perfect stasis. Yea, the trilobite layeth down with the mastodon, and so forth.55 aussiemagpie
However chocolate has helped calm me down
That my dear lady, seems to do the trick for damn near everyone. And did you say the Queen was topless in a Bentley? Gee, don’t know if I’d care to see anything such as…but being a male, what the hell, eh?
ahhh, the Bentley was topless, OK
56 paco
Now I’m probably going to have to get her a couple of seats on the 6:00 pm Greyhound bus.
I can just see it now…a Greyhound, with the destination sign turned to The Queen and this bus being waved down every 5 miles by everyone in drag.
Wonder what Princy Phil will think?
Another worshiper who sounds like she has more than a bit of a girlish crush on her secular Messiah, The Gore-bot:
Laurie David in the Rocky Mountain News
Here’s a major moron setting back the cause of women’s suffrage by about a century!
I’m sure the other multi-millionaire moms (or should I say nannies?) at that high priced private school must simply adore having this harpie come flapping down at them if their Mercedes idle just a scosh too long.
But hey, Laurie doesn’t have to do everyting, just something! You know, like change a few lightbulbs in her McMansion and harp on people picking their kids up at school while she cruises around the world in private jets.
Luckily, as Daddy Al is a religious man, he’s not above selling a few indulgences to this loyal acolyte, I am sure. And yet, it’s his adding a slide that features Adam and Eve that offends some of the more doctrinaire faithful of his “church”?
Guess when you’re married to that bald (but wealthy!) nebish Larry David, a stalwart—or is that stout?—man like Al Gore would start to look pretty good after awhile. Watch out, Tipper! I think someone is measuring herself up to steal your drumsticks!
OT, but help is required.
So far, for the baby, we’ve got nine names to choose from.
Please, make as much fun of them as possible. I’d love to know what can be made out of these names, and it’ll make it easier to decide.
So I give you (along with phonetics):
Romina Minette (Rome-E-Na Min-Et-Te) Donovagi (Do-Kno-Var-Gee)
Elise Lenette (E-lease La-Net) Donovagi
Daniella Jessica (Dan-yee-ell-a) Donovagi
Maria Christine Donovagi;
Kari Leanna Donovagi;
Lissa (Liss-Ar) Ninette (Nin-Et) Donovagi;
Kathryn Sonya Donovagi
Anita Amerra Donovagi; and
Christerina Ann-Marie Donovagi.If there is a God, you will find a way to mock the last one. It’s three out of my seven middle-names, and it just seems cruel to me.
Ash, I vote for either ``Maria Christine’’ or ``Kathryn Sonya’‘. They’re pretty, unmistakably female, and don’t look as though you arrived at them by letting the cat walk across the keyboard.
And you really should pick out at least one boy’s name, just in case. Those prenatal tests and ultrasounds aren’t 100% accurate.
BTW did the Canadian Goreite actually write ``colors’’ instead of ``colours’‘? Now *that’s* shocking.
Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2007 05 03 at 01:58 PM • permalink67, I’m being very careful, since half of our relatives have intials that spell out unfortunate words.
#65, PACO… wonderful. No ulterior motive needed. But find a way to end it with D, because we’re going with Jesse’s surname, Donovagi.
If we ended it with my surname, one or both of us would end up dead.
Well, global warming’s practically a religion already; and like any religion, it’s begun to schism. Next stop, holy war.
I can see it already: in five hundred years, the Goreites’ descendants will have a choice between East Coast Orthodox Global Warming, West Coast Revisionist Global Warming, Authorized Scientologist Global Warming, and that other thing where there’s a god or something. A remake of “Inconvenient Truth” in the year 2050 will prompt a backlash against the new revised form, while half the global warmers hold true to the old faith and half cluster around the new prophet, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt.
Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 05 03 at 03:02 PM • permalink#61
Minette might not be quite suitable as, in former times, a Minette was a sweet young thing who had a sugardaddy, and was always ready to show her appreciation whenever he gave her a pretty/expensive gift.As for pronunciations and spellings, ‘tis best to be conventional. My niece has a name with both trendy spelling and pronunciation, which I often forget, which results in “me => doghouse”.
Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 05 03 at 04:47 PM • permalink76 kae
His real nic is ‘Phil the Greek’ here.
Prince Philip was a member of the Greek and Danish Royal House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg.
Good idea.
Wonder if they took Queen and consort, to Yorktown, VA. Surrender field, actually, where Cornwallis, handed his sword over to George Washington (Cornwallis so despised Washington, he tried first to surrender to Rochambeau. General Rochambeau, correctly pointed out to Cornwallis, that indeed his sword of surrender belong to General Washington…he-he-he-he.
- Romina, Lissa + Christerina
these would be the least choosy from the bunch, though Christerina could by made into Chrisy
Lissa - ppl will always mistake & spell it for lisa - don’t inflict this on her
romina - bit too “Romish”, masculine
ppl will call her Romy like the movie, or worse, Rom. Do you want your daughter to be called “Rom”?
Maria, Kathyrn and Elise - bit boring staid names, though i like Kathyrn coz of hepburn.
That leaves Daniella and Kari.
Not sure how Kari fits your family history.
Daniella - Dani - I could live with that.
There:
“Daniella”
Not a huge fan of names beginning with D, as it is a down sounding letter, but the ella lifts it up nicely.
And if it is a boy, Daniel!
hehe good luck!
#61 Danny-ella? Don-yella? She’ll have to correct people her whole life.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 05 03 at 07:09 PM • permalinkI want to ask Gore and the Fruit Fly Guy about the ripples in the CVO23 reckord from Hawai.
it appears there is an increase in CO2 during summer and a decrease in winter.
My question: Why? Is the CO2 actually influencing the world’s temperature that quickly or .....
it surely can’t be a temperature induced seasonal variation can it?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 03 at 07:16 PM • permalinkIf he wants to put in Adam and Eve, he should put in Noah as well.
I am sure that increasing CO2 concentrations at some point in the past will explain the great flood.
You know - the great flood that wiped out the industrialised society that existed a few thousand years ago with coal fired power stations, jet aircraft and millions of motor cars. All the cars and planes and factories have of course disappeared from the geological record because they rusted away underneath all that water.
/bollocks
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 05 03 at 07:23 PM • permalinkAnd at the third attempt, God created President Gore.
It’s in the scriptures, he is ordained by God to become President. He will lead us to the promised land of the CO2-free-internet.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 03 at 07:25 PM • permalink#89 Don’t be so ruimbunctious, Mr. Creosote….Something made the sea levels rise since the last ice age!
For an Antipodean example, the Torres straight wasn’t, but PNG connected to Australia. Only some 50,000 years ago. Coincidence?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 03 at 07:27 PM • permalink#45 Hey, I used to be able to fly aircraft on 64k bytes of RAM. (Well, bits of one anyway).
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 03 at 07:33 PM • permalink#82: Agree on the Romina . . . if Ash knows any sci-fi fans, everyone will call the kid Romanadvoratrelundar, and that’s hard to fit on a nametag.
Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 05 03 at 07:44 PM • permalink#56
I am particularly fond of the names of famous admirals. If a girl, how about Andrea Doria, victor at the Battle of Lepanto and someone who stands beside Charles Martel and the Battle of Tours
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 03 at 07:53 PM • permalinkI didn’t think anyone used COBOL anymore.
The Australian Tax Office still uses COBAL…
which does sorta explain alot about them.
Posted by Apparatchik on 2007 05 03 at 07:57 PM • permalink#83 El Cid, she is called Brenda.
I thin k it came from a 25-30 yeard old stirical TV program where they were refered to as Brenda and Phil the Greek.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 03 at 08:04 PM • permalink#108 moptop -
I don’t know how you got hold of that film footage from our archive, but if Karl finds out it’s curtains for you. That, um, machine, was experimental.
And for the record, THAT’S NOT ME. Although, yes, he resembles me.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 05 03 at 09:56 PM • permalink1.618, do you ever wonder if you’ve missed the whole point of this blog?
Posted by daddy dave on 2007 05 03 at 11:46 PM • permalink109. #108: Oh, that’s him, all right. He’s always taking over the world.
Paco. Paco. Paco. Remember rule One: It ain’t the crime, it’s the coverup. This is wronwright…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 04 at 12:29 AM • permalinkDaniella - Dani - I could live with that.
Our daughter’s name is Danielle (dan-yell). We chose it with the assumption that for short she could be called “Dani,” which we thought was cute for a girl.
Ha!!
When she was about 2 or 3, she made it known in no uncertain terms that her name was “Danielle,” not “Dani.” Even now at age 20, she still hasn’t changed her mind.
When she was a baby and still in diapers, my husband would always sing to the tune of Disney’s “Cinderelly”:
Dani-elly, Dani-elly
Oh, your diapers sure are smelly
Dani-elly.She’s punched him in the arm a couple of times when he fondly reminisces…
... a quote from Genesis?
Phil Collins sucks!
Posted by Hump B Bare on 2007 05 04 at 03:38 AM • permalink#129 Richard -
I wish someday you lose that bookmark to that infernal web site. BTW, isn’t that Stoop Davy Dave in his secret spy goat disguise?
Posted by wronwright on 2007 05 04 at 06:13 AM • permalink
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If the Goracle can be wrong on this, then what of the other facts, like gravity and quantum physics and how the bubbles get into beer?