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IF ONLY “LARVATUS PRODEO” WAS A BAND
Jack Marx lists the worst Australian band names of all time. I saw a flyer the other day for an outfit called Mahogany Blaze; their support act was Altona.
UPDATE. In other musical news, here’s Bob Dylan on downloading:
Noting the music industry’s complaints that illegal downloading means people are getting their music for free, he said, “Well, why not? It ain’t worth nothing anyway.”
UPDATE II. Silent Running’s Tom Paine has a Dave Barry moment:
It just struck me while reading this link that ‘Shrill Fruit-Loopy Retardo-Spasticated Spider Monkeys From Outer Space’ would be a great name for a rock band.
Excellent sledge in the 1st comment about Russell Crowe’s band!
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 08 23 at 12:25 AM • permalinkJack missed two beauties from the Melbourne scene in the 80s, Exploding Cats and People With Chairs Up Their Noses. You think I made them up, don’t you? Not so!
I thought MEO 245 got their name from the serial number on a Beatles disc.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 08 23 at 12:26 AM • permalinkScrawled arcoss the windows of my local: Beertallica
Posted by Pig Head Sucker on 2006 08 23 at 12:46 AM • permalinkDon’t forget:
* Donna Kebab and the Taboulies
* Porcelain Bus
* Free Beer
* Buster Hymen and the PenetratorsAnd a few I was lucky enough to work with myself:
* The Pyschotic Turnbuckles
* Wa Wa Nee
* Neds Atomic Dustbin
* The Zarsoff Brothers (Rudy Zarsoff, Bluey Zarsoff, Terry Zarsoff etc)Actually, the band was called Buster Hymen and the Bloody Penetrators.
Notably, this and its close cousin - Metallic Virgin Slayers and the Orgy of Senseless Death - both came out of the Sydney Uni band comps.
Posted by Apparatchik on 2006 08 23 at 01:24 AM • permalinkOne of my first outfits was titled “Johnny Foetus and the Afterbirths”- strangely we didn’t have promoters ringing the ‘phone off the hook with gigs.
An outfit who probably have never made it onto the radar are “Dollar Bar”, a moniker making it virtually impossible to get work in a bar or pub as by placing a promo banner on the pub would lead punters to the unrealistic expectation of dollar drinks, and a subsequent refusal, punch-up and charges under the Trade Practices Act.
I’m rather taken by the straight to the point ”Fuck Fucks” of old Melbourne Town, who had an amusing ditty titled “Beer Sandwich” as their signature tune.
Brisbane has produced a prodigious number of oddly titled outfits, such as the “Pineapples From The Dawn of Time” and “Sour Bruce”, a punk band that played at Architecture Dept smokos at the University of Qld (the social club was known as the Loyal Society of Bruce). They later became known as “The Riptides”.
I’m still rather partial to “Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band”, well known for such anthems against oppression and protest ballads as
“Boogie ‘Til You Puke” and “Heartbreak of Psoriasis”.Another artist dedicated to fighting racism and sexism was the rather literally named Nigger Kojak, whose song “Ooga Booga, Steal ‘Dat Car, Drive Me Where ‘De White Wimmen Are” challenged etho-sexual stereotypes and the vexing issues of wealth redistribution and lack of public transport.
Slatts has some more outfits unlikely to appear on Australian Idol in the foreseeable future.
Nicky was in a Queensland band in the 1980s called Lucy Lastic.
I interviewed the lead singer (forget name now) of 1927 - he told me the name of the band came from the number plate of their manager’s car FWIW.
Aztec Camera is another long forgotten name that comes to mind, The Dentists Apprentice were a Masters Apprentices cover band…
...falls into a 1980s nostalgic stupor…
—Nora
Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2006 08 23 at 01:41 AM • permalinkWhoops, I missed the People With notation. Comes of speed reading when you’re expecting the boss to walk in on you.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 08 23 at 03:03 AM • permalinkHow does “Golgi Apparatus and the Endoplasmic Reticula” sound?
Bunch of high school science students thought they were being cool back in 1985. They played “Bagaloid” (a cover of Devo’s “Mongoloid”) at the school’s annual talent quest (held on Elvis’s death anniversary).
Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 08 23 at 03:21 AM • permalinkThere was a 70s band which was a horizontal arrow pointing left, a vertical arrow pointing upwards, and another horizontal arrow pointing right.
This name was pronounced dit-dit-dit.
Posted by Charles Murton on 2006 08 23 at 04:04 AM • permalinkI always enjoyed Barb Wire and the Pricks. But my all time fave: Uncle Daddy and the Family Secret… http://www.alphadawgrecords.com/artists/uncledaddy/
Posted by Magic Hammer on 2006 08 23 at 05:36 AM • permalinkNoting the music industry’s complaints that illegal downloading means people are getting their music for free, he said, “Well, why not? It ain’t worth nothing anyway.”
Bob honestly, I just looked at your songs and damn if you ain’t right…”ain’t worth nothing anyway”.
We’re all quite familiar with it, so I’d wager most people tend not to think about the name Air Supply. But think upon it now: Air Supply. Air Supply. Could there be any name more odourless, invisible and blank? At least it suited them.
Once, when I was a teenager, I was riding in the car when I heard the DJ on the local radio station announce, “We’ve got Australia’s Air Supply right here on WFMJ.” My immediate thought was, if theyy’ve got Australia’s air supply at a radio station in Youngstown, that means the kangaroos are suffocating!!![/i}
Pooshooters were a 90s Sydney band. You should have seen their posters.
Posted by David Morgan on 2006 08 23 at 07:57 AM • permalinkHelp, I’ve turned italic.
Is it gone now?
Posted by David Morgan on 2006 08 23 at 07:59 AM • permalinkHmmm.
1. There are plenty of terrible band names here in America. “Orange Cone” and “Cucumber” come to mind right now.
2. I’m into playing the bass so one day I hope to start a ska band including a tuba player and accordianist. Probably name the band after the most common comment: “WTF is that!?”.
:)
Posted by memomachine on 2006 08 23 at 12:13 PM • permalinkI have a vague memory of a Wellington (NZ)) band in the late 70’s / early ‘80s caleld “Johnny Mono and the Steroids”. I have an even vaguer memory of them occassionally peforming with a female singer, and of course, then they would have been “Annie Bolic and the Steroids”.
Posted by martin.english on 2006 08 23 at 07:55 PM • permalink‘Shrill Fruit-Loopy Retardo-Spasticated Spider Monkeys From Outer Space’
Well, it’s a better story pitch than “It’s snakes! On a plane!”
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 08 23 at 08:38 PM • permalinkTwo I forgot:
The The
The Stomach Pumps.
Both performed at UNSW in the early 80s. The former are not to be confused with the UK The The - the Australian ones had a song called ‘You’re Up Yourself’.
Posted by David Morgan on 2006 08 23 at 09:41 PM • permalink#24- don’t recall them, but there were a plague of dreadful Abo bands around Brisbane in the ‘80s- 4ZZZ used to have a “Murri Hour” on Saturdays which went for about 5 hours- hilarious. In between Slim Dusty and awful, turgid reggae knock-offs by tin-eared land rights activists there were cheerio calls- “I’d like to say hello to Uncle Wayne, he’s in Boggo Road”.
“This goes out to Aunty Daphne, she’s on remand in Palen Creek.”
Funnier than what’s happening to Marcus Einfeld at the moment.
Then Hawke/Keating got in, and gave the amateur yahoos a great wedge of money and they established 4AAA Murri Radio- every bit as much terrible C&W and whiny protest bleats, but without the laffs.
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My brother listens to one of the bands listed, Sounds like Chicken. And I know from him they most definately aren’t the worlds first Christian ska band. They’ve been around for years and there are quite a few of them. Only took a few momnets on wikipedia to find that out even if you didn’t already know it.