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IT BEGINS
Adrian the cabbie monitors the English invasion.
UPDATE. Michael Vaughan believes Australia is very, very vulnerable. Oh, really?
What is it with these self obssessed egocentric opiniated Bozos!
Sir “Bob” - where’ myear muffs
DIxie dumb chicks - even Meryl Streep can sing better.
BOno indoctrination “concerts”- run out of decent music? OK do the political thing.They come here. Why do they come here!
Who can whinge about the ‘barmy army’ after that lot!
Will be joining the BA in Brisbane on Day 3 and hopefully Perth on Day 3 and 4.
At least that way, The Ashes will be still be ours.
Posted by pommygranate on 2006 11 09 at 05:41 PM • permalinkIt’s alright. We have a paddock where we are storing identifiable Brits until the Glue Factory opens up. Luckily they are too stupid to open the gate and leave. Hard to believe this nation once conquered half the world. I’d never noticed how fat and ugly the British male was until they were disgorged upon my sacred Brisbane soil. The women folk (mildly attractive until opening their mouths and speaking) will be taken away for further study.
Those not captured and interned prior to the First Day of the First Test of ‘Australia’s triumphant regaining of the Ashes’TM will be set a light in a big bonfire at the beginning of Day 2 to keep Gaia happy. Given the fat content, it will keep Brisbane powered for weeks.
Stickit
‘Only sing when you’re winning.’
Nope. You dont even do that.
Posted by pommygranate on 2006 11 09 at 07:23 PM • permalinkThere’s got to be a joke about three English guys in a cab.
Wait. That’s it!
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 11 09 at 07:28 PM • permalinkDear Pommygranate,
‘Only sing when you’re winning’ That’s it? That’s the best you’ve got? We are entering into one of the biggest two-nation competitions (outside of war) in history and that’s what you give me? You effete bastard. You toe rag. You’re not worth my spit. (come on - get into the swing of things, here). You are not worth the energy I waste at my work computer typing this in. I could be having coffee and chating about my weekend plans but I have to get passionate about this on your bloody behalf! For Christ sake wake-up Britain! Send over a contender not this Pommygranate nut!
You win one lousy series in almost twenty years and you think you are Kings of the World. Consistency son. Consistency. Other than an inconsequential blip in 2005 (and the 2003 Rugby World Cup) Australia has treated Britain like a concubine for the past 60 years.
You may have been worthy in the days of Empire, but your crap in the days of European Union. Letting some frog-bastard tell you what to do, making you look small and insignificant. Wellington would of nailed Chirac’s arse to the Arc De Triumph, you effete prick! Blair waves the White Flag. Where’s your self-esteem!
Pommygranate, there is a special place for you on the bonfire to Gaia! And let’s see how good the British stiff upper lip looks when it’s been cracked open by a cricket ball.
Dear Stickit
Aussies like you are so easy to wind up it’s like clubbing baby koalas.
Beaten in three of, what to us, are minority sports (cricket, rugby union and rugby league) and with a Prime Minister determined to maintain allegiance to (y)our Queen.
Just because the price of iron ore and coal has gone up, dont get ideas above your station.
Posted by pommygranate on 2006 11 09 at 08:57 PM • permalinkAs a canadian who enjoys cricket, but never gets any here, I will relish being in the august atmosphere of Australia and the ashes.
Note to self: Remain neutral, especially when England win.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 09 at 09:03 PM • permalinkWhat wears a burqa and eats fish and chips?
Half of England.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 09 at 09:04 PM • permalinkpommygranate - now that’s the spirit
Beaten in three of, what to us, are minority sports (cricket, rugby union and rugby league)
By what do you measure that? If you measure by world cups, then by all means that is the case in Rugby. But rugby league I’m afraid is still in our hands, as is one-day cricket. Since there is no world championships for test match cricket then we must assume world rankings, where Australia are unquestionable number one.
If you chose only as good as your last game, then I believe you gain RL and test-match cricket. But lose RU and we still retain one-day cricket. However, by that argument I would like to point out that the last time we met at Upton Park our minority sport beat your national sport. And while I’m at it, RL and RU are minority sports over here too.
Good lord I’m looking forward to heading back to Brisbane for the first Test. Got my ticket (albeit only for day one).
Have the English cricket team sobered up since the last Ashes? Or are they all still parking tigers on the high street and urinating in doorways like the rest of England’s youth.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 09 at 09:29 PM • permalinkDennis Lillee made a good point the other day- this Aussie team will still make a good accounting of themselves, but in a year or two- Gilchrist, McGrath, Hayden, Langer, Martyn, Warne- they will all be gone. Australia has better depth than most countries but I think in two or three years really could struggle.
#16 - I’ll bet you London to a brick that we are still the dominant cricket nation for the next two decades.
The Poms - Will run out of South African rejects. The rest will be too drunk.
South Africa - Have a quota system for everything but decent players.
The Indians - Are all too busy interrupting our dinner with ill timed phone calls.
The Paki’s - Have too many explosive young batsman.
The Windies - Rude Boys, ganga and US cable basketball do not a cricket playing nation make.
New Zealand - Only poofters play cricket.
Zimbabwe - Had their pitches reposessed.
Sri lanka - Have produce nothing but champion darts players since Murali.
Bangladesh - Global warming will take care of them.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 09 at 09:40 PM • permalinkDear Pommygranate,
You beauty - Pommygranate you found your stones! Ah, three months of baiting and humiliating the English. If they could be any more humiliated.
We are good at any sport we give a damn about. Whereas you are no good at the only sport you give a damn about. 1966 was a bloody long time ago.
And our station is to stand on your throat.We are entering into one of the biggest two-nation competitions (outside of war) in history and that’s what you give me?
Does Lord Rove know of this? Should I make him aware of this cricket thing?
Nations contesting who can grow the best bugs?
I need to send this on to wronwright for consideration. If we’re to truly dominate the world, we may need to get into this bug fight thing.
The Ashes in 2011 should be interesting for England. I wonder what Sharia Law has to say on LBW and the Duckworth-Lewis scoring system.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 09 at 10:27 PM • permalinkI had to get this in SOMEwhere.
From Mild Colonial Boy. Imagine having to sing this stuff at the Cricket!:Not satisfied with their unending campaigns to change our form of government and our flag, the Australian republicans have decided to attack our national Anthem. The following monstrosity was composed by “Renowned Australian composer” Ross Edwards (with lyrics by author, David Malouf) as a response to what he called the “truly appalling” nature of Advance Australia Fair.
The Promised Land
Land of promise, promised land.
Still to be entered, still to be found, but close, mysterious.
The rainbow serpent seeking its sky-body in this covenant,
this arc from earth to earth, these towers, this water city,
these coral reefs, unit on living unit, built of breath.
Commonwealth. Commonwealth.
All that holds us, all that we hold, this common story built of breath.
Commonwealth. Commonwealth.
All that holds us, keeps us whole.
Land of promise.
Close. Mysterious. Promised land.
Still to be entered, still to be found.Mild Colonial Boy: My response to this risible doggerel? Stick to writing books, Mr Malouf!
Malouf is a homosexual, and I read a whole lot of suppressed sexuality in this utter rubbish. Australia Climax rather than Australia Felix?
#22 Why do the left have heart murmurs whenever it is suggested discussing
Christianityreligion in anything regarding nation, but fail to see that the bloody rainbow serpent as a religious symbol? Hope to hear cricket tragics calling out ‘c’mon aussie’ at the pitch rather than the teeth jarring ‘aussie oi’ thrice crap at the pitch this summer.Mind you, the Aussie cricketers’ sacred victory chant is straight out of Monty Python:
Under the Southern Cross I Stand
A sprig of wattle in my hand,
A native of my native land,
Australia you little beauty.Or:
This here’s the wattle - the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle or you can hold it in your hand.
Which is which?
Nic - Australia you little beauty
Obviously you have only heard the MSM G-rated version. The world “little” is replaced by another adjective in the live version.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 09 at 11:10 PM • permalink#22 Quetzalcoatl is coming to Australia looking for his body?
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 11 09 at 11:41 PM • permalink1.618 - appreciate the attempt at a song but Nasser retired around a decade ago.
Nic - “Under the Southern Cross..”
Good luck with that one. The Barmy Army won’t take the piss out of you all day, honestly“Aussie Aussie Aussie - oi oi oi”
Who says Aussies have less culture than a yoghurtTry one of these
Shane Warne’s Villa
(To the tune of Tony Christie’s ‘Amarillo’)Show me the way to Shane Warne’s Villa
He’s got his diet pills under his pilla
A dodgy bookie from Manila
Nursey’s on her mobile phoneRepeat x3
La-la lar la-la la-la lar, Fat Git!
La-la lar la-la la-la lar, Take a bung
La-la lar la-la la-la lar,
Warney where’s your mobile phone?Posted by pommygranate on 2006 11 09 at 11:46 PM • permalink#21, If the
goodpeople at the shaira law centre can understand the Duckworth-Lewis system, perhaps they could explain it to me.For that matter, they should probably explain it to the cricket commentators here and abroad as well…
P.S. Could the English please invent another sport for us to beat them at? Thanks in advance.
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 09 at 11:47 PM • permalink#32, Pommy
bastardgranate, Australians tend to go to the cricket to get drunk and watch the game. As opposed to getting drunk and singing.Could have something to do with why we consistently beat you at your own game.
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 09 at 11:51 PM • permalinkAnthony1982
Will cede rugby league - but it is only played by about three towns in Lancashire
Cricket - being No 1 in the world rankings is as relevant as Tasmania. It’s all about who holds The Ashes and you know it.
Union - World Champions
Football (soccer) - Noel Gallagher put it pretty succintly,
“You are shit at football. You will never win anything so give it up. What do they call them, the Socceroos? Do me a fucking favour, you could come up with a better nickname than that.”
Posted by pommygranate on 2006 11 10 at 12:32 AM • permalinkTo our Pommy friends - It may interest you to know that right now our PM’s XI is beating your sorry lot like a red-headed step child.
In fact English sportsman are a kinky lot. They love getting beaten.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 10 at 12:37 AM • permalinkThe game just finished, JWH’s XI won by 166 runs. I hope we can expect somewhat more of a contest when the Ashes starts…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 10 at 02:18 AM • permalinkWe won’t know for several weeks, Grimmy. There was a problem with the Diebold machines used to correlate the scores. Hanging Chads and all.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 10 at 04:44 AM • permalinkBeen watching the Prime Minister’s XI flog the Pommies like a rented donkey on Foxtel today.
Warms the cockles of my black and shrivelled heart.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 11 10 at 06:00 AM • permalink#40, Grim, Us Antipodeans flogged the unwashed POME B@stards at the game they invented somewhere before the year of Our Lord 1478.
Most important of all is the fact that a team selected by The Right Honorable John Howard (our PM) beat the pants of the best 11 blokes England has to offer.
The poor sods have 25 days of Cricket against the actual Australian team before the series ends…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 10 at 02:11 PM • permalink
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We are heading off to the NSW v Poms match on Sunday at the SCG
Looking forward to meeting the Barmy Army
Last time the Poms were here we were at the Sydney Test - it was so hot I took shelter near the bar so as the spilt beer coming past could cool my hot feet and I met a lovely Pommie lady who was travelling with her cricket tragic hubby - they were wealthy enough to follow the team everywhere all year
She did not really like cricket but she loved her hubby and she loved meeting people