<< THE HUGH & MIKE SHOW ~ MAIN ~ EXCLUSIVE ZOMBIE COVERAGE >>

LIFE IMITATES BOOK

Stephen King’s Cell: “[The] world plummet[s] to chaos when a cell phone signal known as the Pulse converts its listeners to brain-dead lunatics.”

Pakistan’s Daily Times: “Authorities moved on Tuesday to quash panic among mobile phone users in eastern India after a rumour that ‘devil calls’ from certain numbers have led to death and illness.”

Posted by Tim B. on 03/29/2006 at 08:45 AM

  1. I thought it was calls from India that led to craziness - especially when received during dinner-time.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 03 29 at 08:58 AM • permalink

  2. “Devil calls”. I know exactly what they’re talking about. They usually come in around dinner time, and afford the prospect of free gifts, if only “you, Mr. Paco, will visit the Cabeza Loca timeshare community in lovely Tarsands, Louisiana, and listen to a 30 minute presentation about this once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity”. Here’s what you do: dip the cell phone in holy water. You’ll never receive devil calls again (or any other calls, for that matter, but, hey, this is your soul we’re talkin’ about).

    Posted by paco on 2006 03 29 at 09:26 AM • permalink

  3. Yes, but will any penises be stolen by djinis?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 03 29 at 09:44 AM • permalink

  4. “Yes, but will any penises be stolen by djinis?”

    Timeshare speculators have a payment plan to fit all budgets.

    Posted by paco on 2006 03 29 at 10:03 AM • permalink

  5. About half of the world’s listeners are already brain dead lunatics. Maybe the Pulse would have a snakepit effect on them. And where can I get me some of them devil calls?

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 29 at 10:45 AM • permalink

  6. I’ve spoken with those same devils.  They run the Customer Service line for Dell. Damn the satanic outsourcing.

    This is a reassuring development, coming from Pakistan. Nuclear weaponized Pakistan.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 03 29 at 11:14 AM • permalink

  7. And I guess this is what multi-cultis mean when they tell us we have so much to learn from ‘authentic’ cultures.

    But it’s no different, really, than the behavior of pre-science cults in the West, like the enviro-fetishists, faux-anarchists and the PETA crowd.

    Posted by cosmo on 2006 03 29 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  8. So… the devils have switched from sending spam to our inboxes to calling us on our cells?  I guess technological advancement has finally reached the very depths of hell, then?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 03 29 at 03:23 PM • permalink

  9. That Jamster ringtone does it every time.  I was going to link to Jamster for those who are unfamiliar, but I won’t be so cruel.

    Posted by Stevo on 2006 03 29 at 03:43 PM • permalink

  10. Yeah, that crazy frog has been known to drive people to insanity.

    Posted by PW on 2006 03 29 at 04:26 PM • permalink

  11. Or maybe the Bananaphone has finally reached the subcontinent.

    Posted by PW on 2006 03 29 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  12. Who ya gonnna call?

    666   busters!

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 03 29 at 05:41 PM • permalink

  13. Wapo Style Invitational readers noticed some other strange phenonema involving common objects:

    The Blue Screen of Death: It really is.

    Horra! Horra! Horra! A beam of radiation hits the only Japanese restaurant in Wyoming, somehow giving chopsticks the power to turn those who eat with them into homicidal maniacs. Fortunately, no one in Wyoming knows how to use chopsticks, so the crisis passes unnoticed.

    Every time a person presses a button on the TV remote, he loses a second of his life. Men all over the world are dying younger and younger, some not even making it to their thirties. Women are left alone to watch entire programs from start to finish.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2006 03 29 at 05:48 PM • permalink

  14. Any chance we can convince them Korans cause impotence?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 29 at 11:22 PM • permalink

  15. In a way it does Richard, in a way it does.  What have the Muslims created in the last 200 years?  Even the suicide bomber was pioneered by the Tamil terrorists in Sri Lanka.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 03 29 at 11:43 PM • permalink

  16. I don’t get it; they didn’t have mobile phones in the 500’s.

    Posted by Henry boy on 2006 03 30 at 03:48 AM • permalink

    17. Page 1 of 1 pages

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Members:
Login | Register | Member List

Please note: you must use a real email address to register. You will be sent an account activation email. Clicking on the url in the email will automatically activate your account. Until you do so your account will be held in the "pending" list and you won't be able to log in. All accounts that are "pending" for more than one week will be deleted.