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LIMIT REACHED
The Spectator’s James Delingpole:
My resolution this year is to make huge sums of money, buy a vast country estate, surround it with a moat and spend the rest of my life hunting, driving fast cars round my private race track and generally trying to maximise my carbon footprint ...
I seem to remember my resolution last year being pretty similar, but that time I was being tongue-in-cheek whereas this time I really mean it.
Delingpole has reached the Nilknarf Limit.
Just as Snoopy had the Red Baron, I have this little shit of a Prius that travels in front of me on the way to work most mornings. Driving at about 30 km/h and stalling my progress, I delight in giving the sod an extra burst of fumes from my 3 litre Teutonic gaia-stomper as I sail past.
The fellow even has the gall to put some large ‘racing’ decal on the side, of a Prius no less. I mean really, what is the world coming to?
#2 Nic:
3 litres? 3 litres????
Come on Nic, you can do much, much better on the Gaia-raping front than a piddling three litres, can’t you?
How about some TimBlair posters submit the size of their daily-drivers?
{Mine’s 3.6 litres}
P.S. Don’t confuse the issue with those cubic inchy things!
And remember - daily drivers. We’ve all got an humungous machine just sitting in the bat-cave…..
#4,
How about some TimBlair posters submit the size of their daily-drivers?
How about FI/FOs? Commuting a few thousand K’s every fortnight to and from work via aeroplane? And then spending our RO time bush-bashing in our Landies?
Posted by spot_the_dog on 2008 01 18 at 05:37 AM • permalinkThat’s a great plan! I love it!
However I’m having a little trouble with step one, “make vast sums of money…”Posted by daddy dave on 2008 01 18 at 05:37 AM • permalink#4- My daily hack is a measley 2.6 ltrs, but to balance the lack of actual cubic capacity it has two enormous carbon-fibre and ceramic Garrett turbochargers forcing the compressed very lifeblood (98 octane) of Gaiea into it’s double-intercooled maw at 35psi, before launching its charred detritus in a billowing cloud through an exhaust with the diameter of Michael Moore’s colon. The 400-odd kilowatts (mild tune for peak hour, otherwise it loads up and pig-roots like Phillip Adams on the trail of truffles, and fouls platinum tip plugs like a post-curry dunny bowl) transmits through a transmission slightly more complex than the space shuttles guidance system, with 6 gears transmitting power to all four wheels (wuth traction and yaw control, making it difficult but not impossible to chuck hackies).
Size isn’t always everything when planetary ravishment is underway- my next conveyance will likely only have a measurable capacity of about 900cc, but produces well over 500 Kw without tweaking, is faster than shit off a chrome shovel and consumes high-octane fossil fuel at a rate that’d make a ‘60s vintage Licoln Town Car seem like a Prius in comparison.
I am even happier now that I included his book in a recent book buying spree.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 01 18 at 06:15 AM • permalink#7 spot:
Fly In/Fly Out doesn’t count!
We are talking cars, on the gruond, systematically raping Mother Gaia.
I’ve got a 4.4 litre V8 in the shed, similar sort of thing that Mark L in Canberra likes to fool around with. My daily driver is a piddling little 3.6.
Habib’s 2.6 litre call is good, but he’s going to have to remove every single “Lexus” and “SC 400” badge, in order to sit back complacently with his twin-turbo Toyota Soarer.
I mean, seriously, Habib must know that there is no substitute for cubic inches!
Kaboom,
here’s the Wog Chariot.
Only had one owner and 75,000 K’s on it when I bought it five years ago.
And here’s the Sunday car.
Still has the Honeycomb wheels and an eight track cartridge player.
It’s definitely an original.
Also one owner and low miles when we bought it.
Currently lacking wheels at the moment but my last daily drive was HMAS MANOORA. 6x V16 ALCO diesel engines driving 2 shafts plus 4x V12 diesel generators.
From memory doing a balls to the wall 21 knots (38km/h) we went through about 5000l/h (or around 12800l/100km).
Mind you we carried about 2.5 million liters of fuel so we got some range out of her.
Posted by Guardian_Angel on 2008 01 18 at 06:49 AM • permalinkAhh! My very first V8 - I remember the glorious sound it made even today - almost 35 years later!
When I first arrived here in the Northern Territory in 1978 I was driving a V8. What better engine for travelling along the N.T’s (then)speed unlimited highways!
Sadly with the arrival of the “care-bear” Clare Martin Government in 2001, the once free and easy Northern Territory became a pathetic clone of all the other “nanny-ised” states and territories.
*Southern-style pool fencing laws were introduced simply because some irresponsible adult allowed their child to wander the streets and eventually fall into some innocent person’s backyard pool!
*A local union boss was put in place of the “work health authority” to “improve safety” on building sites.
*And the Northern Territory’s unlimited speed limits on highways were reduced to 130 Kmh - and demerit points were introduced. By the way the N.T. road toll has significantly increased since these laws were enacted!
Many other do-gooder nanny-state nonsense has also occurred here thanks to Martin and her ex-southern-labor-public-service “advisors”. A new bloke is Chief Minister now, and sure to be even worse!
The moat concept appeals to me - in fact I thought I had found it right here in the N.T. until a mob of fools left the bloody drawbridge down and allowed the meddlers, interventionists and a host of overpaid, unproductive southern Labor public servants to create another nanny-state right HERE!!!!
Where can I go now!
#32 Habib,
hey Skyline’s are fine, if you’re built like a midget Jap.
The old Wog chariot’s are the only car where I don’t have to fiddle with the seat belt or use those silly bloody hooks to hold the damn things away from my throat because they’re always trying to throttle me.
Even the Monaro’s seatbelts give me the shits because they’re always trying to gouge my collarbone.
When it comes to comfort, size does matter, and that’s where Chryslers RULE!!!
OFF TOPIC
If you liked Air America radio, then you’re going to love BigThink.com, which is to YouTube what Air America is to entertaining radio, and just about as successful:
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=368667
I’ve just been and left a nice comment (with a huge hat tip to Iowahawk) on one of Teddy Kennedy’s videos.
http://www.bigthink.com/policy-politics/iraq/236
Have fun . . . .
Posted by Young and Free on 2008 01 18 at 07:01 AM • permalink#33- leg room’s not a problem but I must admit that recaros built for arseless Nips and 4 point harnesses aren’t exactly comfortable, but when you’re in a car that generates more Gs than a Mk 21 Spitfire you need to be anchored down to avoid being flung out the window during robust cornering around shopping centre carparks. Nothing against Mopar though- mu old man had the first E38 in Rockhampton, and while it was a slavering satyr on Gaia’s pudenda, the continual V signals and catcalls of Hey Charger from every filthy urchin and spotty oik in Central Qld became very tiresome very quickly.
I’m looking at replacing the GTR with a series 8 RX7 Bathurst spec which have just come up on the compliance list- they get less than 5 mpg when given the berries and are faster than a Testarossa.
I’ve also got a ‘72 ElDorado convertible undergoing full restoration but that’s never going to be a daily driver as the 20” whitewalls are near impossible to come by, and there’s no point in fitting radial low profiles to a caddy, you’d spoil its handling characteristics (overloaded watermelon truck driven by peyote-enhanced Mexican).
#35- Stock Autech, no bodylights unfortunately, they’re such chick magnets. Anyone who tinkered with a V Spec’d be in need of a lobotomy anyway as they’re fitted with every bit of gear short of nitrous that Nissan Racing can legally fit a street car, an original spec ones are worth decent bikkies- well out of the price range of bogans and habibs (unless they’re deeply involved in the chemical industry).
A Dodge Viper is tempting, but they’re 30K to comply.
#32 Habib:
If you have an R-32 Ozzie version, oops, yes, I forgot about the 2.6 litre Godzilla I6. In awe.
An R-33 is just pretentious. And Gaia-raping. And UnHoly. And, like, totally un-green, dude.
Pog: Sorry about the CL slander (although Currency Lad may think differently) - yes, definitely a CM, and definitely measured in litres.
I believe that in 1981/2 there were about 8 or 10 CM’s that received a Mitsubishi badge on their arse - any truth to this rumour??
#38 Kaboom,
no offence taken. :)
I don’t know about the Mitsu Badging. Sounds like an urban legend to me. The badges certainly wouldn’t have been there long, even if it were true.
#36 Habib,
Charger!!! Oh my God!! Orgasm on wheels!
I’ve never owned one, although I had a couple of boyfriends that did. One of the best chick magnet, undie droppers ever.
#39- I’m tossing up between an R34 GTR-V or the RX next- big price difference, but if you think the R33’s pretnetious, the R34’s got a 300kph speedo and winds it off stock.
Clarkson was rather ambivalent about it, as it has so much gear on board it makes anyone able to drive like Fangio, but what’s wrong with laying waste to nature remotely, while you enjoy a gin sling and a cuban?
The RX7 is positively primitive in comparison but terrifyingly quick and thirstier than Andrew Bartleweet celebrating the office break-up. (and about 30K cheaper, and not fitted with such items as Brembo 6pot brakes, which cost A$800/axle for pads).
The bloke who does some of my complying is getting approval for Ferrari F360s, which would be rather a hoot to toddle around in but it’s very hard to go past the Japs for carbon-producing volume value.
I’ve got a pair of street shoes stamped with the genuine Caterpillar label. My other ride is a 2.2 litre Subaru sedan.
I’ve really gotta get a footprint chicks will notice, huh?
I walk to work, with my head tilted all the way and calculating my smug factor every few minutes
(I live very close to my workplace)
The limo (Holden Vectra) goes to work each day with the live in lefty lawyer
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2008 01 18 at 09:02 AM • permalink#41 Ash, I am no expert on Chrysler/Dodge and what eventually became Mitsubishi in Australia.
However, I have owned a Dodge, owned a Chrysler, had a girlfriend who owned a “Chrysler by Chrysler” 360 V8, had a girlfriend who owned a Valiant Charger, and have even owned a (thirsty) Mitsubishi truck!
Today, I “boringly” own a 6 Cylinder Falcon and an Isuzu truck.
Do you think I also have become a victim of the slithering slimy alarmists?
If so, do you have any advice? Can you save me?
#47 splice; My email inbox is full of people who are desperate to help you.
Posted by dean martin on 2008 01 18 at 09:21 AM • permalink#49 Pogria,you have got me excited with this beautiful car, except the bloody neighbours have got one already, and I would not like them to think I was “keeping up with the Joneses”.....would I?
13 habib
“..through an exhaust with the diameter of Michael Moore’s colon…”OMG now I know who goatsie really is.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 01 18 at 09:47 AM • permalinkMrs. Paco has taken to driving me to the metro station in her beloved 1988 Suburban (one of the last models to preserve a genuine truckish aspect, complete with roof-mounted fog lights). Every one of these cold mornings, while we wait at the seemingly interminable stop-light for an opportunity to turn onto Arlington Boulevard, I derive great pleasure in watching the exhaust pipe belch vapor, as our coach creates a small bubble of atmosphere resembling that of the planet Jupiter. An added bonus is to watch in the side-view mirror – having the size and appearance of a highly burnished, stainless-steel dinner tray – and catch an occasional glimpse, through the swirling clouds that have enveloped his vehicle, of the frowning, twitching physiognomy of the Prius-driver behind me, who, according to a careful survey I have made, has most likely affixed to his rear bumper a sticker advocating the elevation of Hillary Clinton, or Dennis Kucinich, to the highest office in the land.
It is the kind of thing that makes it a pleasure to go to work in the morning
I miss my red Alfa GTV 1973 coupe, and my Peugot 306Xsi. They were fantastic cars for taking the bends on some hairy local roads. My husband used to wrestle me for the keys of those. (Sigh, they were good days. Like when we had the 1976 Triumph Trident, the 1959 red MGA, the 1964 MGB, the 1967 Landcruiser).
The worst vehicle we ever had (apart from a 1982 Rangerover that had been overworked and underserviced) was a brand-new 2001 BMW X5. It was a vehicle way too smart for its owners and service mechanics. This vehicle was a case where technology got ahead of the people who could service it.
Sensible people that we are, we offloaded it.
So, Mike and I now have a Mazda CX7, brilliant off-road, on the beach, doesn’t drink much fuel, but takes us everywhere the old 1967 Landcruiser used to take us.
I’d still rather have my Peugot, though.
#57 Maree, does the Mazda pull the boat up the ramp without too much fuss?
Okay, okay… I’m done swimming!
The boat gets hauled up the slipway once or twice a year and if I say anything more about it I’ll end up with a beer in one hand and a paint scraper in the other… quicker than ye can bend a lash to a crusty mooring buoy. I knew that.
I checked with Wikipedia and saw that the term Nilknarf Limit is not defined there yet. I note with some alarm that the term Gore Effect is being considered for deletion:
This article is being considered for deletion in accordance with Wikipedia’s deletion policy.
Please share your thoughts on the matter at this article’s entry on the Articles for deletion page.
I believe that this is an example of the Digg Effect, in which members of a lefty claque within an internet community “Digg down” anything with which they might disagree.If I could by a sports car that, without loss of performance, had an additional, entirely superfluous coal fired steam engine attached to it, I’d buy two and burn one to the ground whilst doing donuts.
Penguin—Get yourself one of those towed BBQ smoker grills or one of those nasty roofing tar trailers and pull that around. Should give the same effect…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 01 18 at 11:37 AM • permalinkPooh. You don’t even have a carbon footprint until you’ve succeeded in matching greenie preacher John Travolta’s footprint.
I’ve got a pair of street shoes stamped with the genuine Caterpillar label…
I’ve really gotta get a footprint chicks will notice, huh?
Splice—Sounds like you already made an impression on Rachel Corrie.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 01 18 at 11:42 AM • permalinkO/T, but not to be missed: Mark Steyn highlights some Stasi-like activities of Canadian “Human Rights Commissions”.
And another little example of parvenu police-state tactics.
And the Northern Territory’s unlimited speed limits on highways were reduced to 130 Kmh
Cripes. You’ve gotta go at least 140 to outrun the mosquitoes.
My daily ride is a hybrid (not a Prius, thankyouverymuch, a proper-sized Highlander like the Blogfaddah - hits be upon him - drives). From whence to get to my place of employment I board an electric train, followed by a CNG-powered bus. I have, sad to say, a vehicular carbon footprint the size of Thumbelina’s.
Like missred, my personal footprint is negligible. The saving grace, however, is that there are 4 adults in this house with the following…- 2 Ford Explorer (‘91 5spd, ‘97 supercharged belong to Lovely Daughter), 1 Ford BroncoII (‘90 - this one’s mine), one Toyota Tundra extended cab stepside (hubby’s, as are the bikes), 1 Yamaha 250 Motocross, & an 88 Harley FXSTS that’s fast as a striped-assed ape.
Ok, that makes up for my pansy ass, I guess…
Well I’ve still got the little 4 cylinder
hyundaideath beast, but I reckon my carbon footprint’s bigger than most the way it chews through petrol and oil.And if I were to leave it running in the garage for 5 minutes I wouldn’t need a pipe in through a nearly closed window to top myself. (Were I so inclined.)
Hell, I could do it with the garage door open!
There’s a reason I call it the death beast.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2008 01 19 at 06:51 AM • permalink
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If I could by a sports car that, without loss of performance, had an additional, entirely superfluous coal fired steam engine attached to it, I’d buy two and burn one to the ground whilst doing donuts.