<< WOOLY TOWNIES ~ MAIN ~ GET THESE GUYS A ROOM >>

MARKET HOT FOR WARMING

Further to Saturday’s column, reader Nic points out “this mob charging five pounds and more for non plastic bag ephemera. Who said lemons don’t pay, eh?”

Posted by Tim B. on 03/16/2008 at 10:16 AM
  1. However, we don’t want to fill the world with more ‘stuff’...

    Well, unless we can fill our pockets with lots of cash while we pat ourselves on the back for our overwhelming concern for Gaia.

    Posted by rinardman on 2008 03 16 at 11:31 AM • permalink

  2. When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.

    When life hands you melons, you make whoopie.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2008 03 16 at 11:41 AM • permalink

  3. Capitalism is essentially just human nature with price tags attached, so we can keep score.

    Brilliant, Tim! A perfect definition.

    Posted by Dr Alice on 2008 03 16 at 12:09 PM • permalink

  4. A Global Warmer’s Schadenfreude:
    The Jokes on You! We’re All Gonna Die!

    While polar bears and penguins drown,
    You spend your nights out on the town;
    When clowns and mimes are unemployed,
    You heartless creep, you’re overjoyed.

    But I sit grimly in my room,
    Immersed in catalogs of doom;
    I will laugh last and best, my friend,
    When this damn world comes to an end.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 16 at 01:30 PM • permalink

  5. Here’s a nice little capitalist story for you guys.

    Teen Millionaire

    The only thing she’s missing by dropping out of school to run her own business is years of leftardic indoc.

    A substantial portion of the greatest economy ever to exist on this planet at any time in human history was created by just such folk. Started with nothing. Came up with an idea. Followed it through. Made a fortune.

    And also, often, without “proper” education, or from the top social class, etc etc.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2008 03 16 at 01:37 PM • permalink

  6. Tim… in other, less concise words:

    The Secret Dynamic of Socialism:

    Socialism’s saddest quirk
    Is that it never seems to work.
    But teaching it gives teachers jobs
    So they’re not on the street in mobs.

    How else could teachers earn their pay? 
    Free enterprise takes just one day:
    It’s human nature at its core,
    With price tags so we can keep score.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 16 at 02:15 PM • permalink

  7. Frankly, I think they’re right about plastic bags. That’s why I tote my dolphin steaks out to the Suburban in an oiled, baby harp seal hide sack.

    Posted by paco on 2008 03 16 at 02:33 PM • permalink

  8. He Cares About the Earth:
    A Tearful Tribute to Paco

    Let no man ask, Does Paco care?
    For I see Paco everywhere
    And Paco does his manly share
    To warm this cold world’s earth and air.

    Even seaside, he won’t quit;
    He roasts a rare bird in a pit,
    Then drinks a case of beer with it,
    And warms the ocean, just a bit.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 16 at 04:09 PM • permalink

  9. Holy cow! My own personal appearance in one of Lyle’s great poems! Thanks, Your…Hmmm…what’s the proper title here?... Oh, yeah…Thanks, Your Laureateship!

    Posted by paco on 2008 03 16 at 05:03 PM • permalink

  10. For you who love the plastic
    In supermarts fantastic,
    Pray, stop! The World’s Oil’s ending
    Repent your thoughtless spending.

    Salvation comes, if you will heed,
    It means no waste, nor wanton thieving,
    Go, buy the Green, Sustainable Reed,
    And learn the humble Basket-weaving.

    Posted by Barrie on 2008 03 16 at 05:16 PM • permalink

  11. Congratulations, Paco!  Lyle, that’s beautiful, maaaan!

    **snaps fingers in mock-hippie applause**

    Posted by reese on 2008 03 16 at 05:31 PM • permalink

  12. Pah! Will y’all stop whining about plastic bags?

    Here in Denmark you’re charged with the equivalent of 75 AU cents for for frigging bag. Been like that for decades. Free plastic bags ain’t a Human Right, you know… (At least not here.)

    How does one immigrate to Oz? I could refund a first class ticket in a year on free plastic bags alone.

    Posted by Mikael on 2008 03 16 at 05:41 PM • permalink

  13. I remember reading one of Michale Moores books where one of his “This is a humerous look at how we are all DOOMMMMMED” scenarios had his grandkid mining for plastic bags in an old rubbish tip. Sort of a combination of peak oil and environmental destruction scenario.

    It was supposed to be thought provoking and meaningful, but quite frankly the thought of one of MM grandkids digging in a tip warms the cockles of my black shrivelled organ where a heart should be.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 03 16 at 05:50 PM • permalink

  14. The Legend of Frollicking Mole

    They say Michael Moore,
    The communist troll,
    Reached for the heartstrings
    Of frollicking mole.

    But sadly, he found
    A chunk of black coal
    Where once a heart grew
    In frollicking mole.

    ‘Don’t try to play me,
    You commie A-hole,
    Go play with yourself,’
    Said frollicking mole.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 16 at 07:11 PM • permalink

  15. Congratulations Frollicking Mole! 

    **snap snap snap snap**

    For you too, Barrie.

    Posted by reese on 2008 03 16 at 07:52 PM • permalink

  16. This is an interesting page from that We Are What We Do site. 30,000+ people declined plastic bags but only 21,000 said thank you. Good manners would be to say “No thank you” and tick both boxes. But 9,000, almost a third, presumably told the checkout operator to fuck off when offered plastic bags.

    The most popular action, 33,000, was to smile at someone, which is just creepy. 27,000 went further and hugged, which might constitute assault in some circumstances. Fully 7600 claimed to have had a bath with someone they love which is more than those who remembered people’s names (7000). Interesting to hear from the “loved” 600 who took a bath with someone who couldn’t remember their names afterwards.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 03 16 at 08:01 PM • permalink

  17. lyle

    /bows and scrapes

    I am not worthy….. Thanks!

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 03 16 at 08:22 PM • permalink

  18. Oh great.

    Thanks lyle.

    Now Tim won’t be able to afford to have Paco (TM) and thefrollickingmole (alsoTM) comment here! Their fees must have gone up heaps!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2008 03 17 at 12:34 AM • permalink

  19. Sorry, Ash.

    I was hopped up on energy drinks and anti-perspirants.

    I don’t know what I could have been thinking.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 03 17 at 01:47 AM • permalink

  20. Correction to Lyle

    ‘Socialism’s saddest quirk
    Is that it never seems to work.
    But teaching it gives teachers jobs
    So they’re not on the street in mobs’

    Now teachers job are character-forming:
    Indoctrinate kids with Global Warming!
    Inflame them with Al Gore repeats,
    THEN lead them, marching in the streets.

    Posted by Barrie on 2008 03 17 at 02:25 AM • permalink

  21. Sorry, insert ‘teachers’ jobs’.  And, yes, I was an English teacher once.

    Posted by Barrie on 2008 03 17 at 02:28 AM • permalink

  22. Those energy drinks are lethal lyle. Particularly on days as hot as today is.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2008 03 17 at 02:46 AM • permalink

  23. Page 1 of 1 pages

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Members:
Login | Register | Member List

Please note: you must use a real email address to register. You will be sent an account activation email. Clicking on the url in the email will automatically activate your account. Until you do so your account will be held in the "pending" list and you won't be able to log in. All accounts that are "pending" for more than one week will be deleted.