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MODO REWRITTEN

Maureen Dowd in the New York Times:

I went out once with a guy who didn’t care for his mother, partly because he felt she was not attractive enough. My brother Martin, on the other hand, tells our mom how proud he was when she picked him up from grade school because he thought she was the prettiest mother.

And Maureen Dowd in the Melbourne Age:

I went out once with a guy who didn’t care for his mother, partly because he felt she was not attractive enough. My brother Martin, on the other hand, tells our mum how proud he was when she picked him up from grade school because he thought she was the prettiest mother.

Why stop there? Why not change “guy” to “bloke”, and “grade school” to “primary school”?

(MoDo’s pop-culture meter—recently aimed at 1923 and 1989—is in this column set to 1977, and Randy Newman’s “Short People”.)

UPDATE. In Dowd’s latest column, she makes this claim:

North Korea’s rush toward nukes, which was spurred on by the Iraq invasion and North Korea’s conviction that, in bargaining with Mr. Bush, real weapons trump imaginary - or chimerical - ones.

“Rush”? “Spurred on by the Iraq invasion”? North Korea admitted in October 2002 that it had a uranium enrichment program. According to the Center for Defense Information, the “rush” for nukes began following a 1994 agreement negotiated with President Clinton under which North Korea would abandon any nuclear ambitions:

Shortly after signing the agreement, North Korea began seeking nuclear weapons fuel through uranium enrichment. In the late 1990s, the United States began to receive scattered intelligence reports revealing a North Korean uranium enrichment program. Some evidence points to the existence of this program as early as 1987. This program apparently received new life in 1997 when Pakistan, strapped for cash by U.S. sanctions, began paying for its North Korean missile imports with uranium enrichment technology.

And from the State Department’s 2002 announcement:

Assistant Secretary Kelly pointed out that North Korea had been embarked on this program for several years.

In MoDo’s next column: Did Kim Jong-il have a pretty mommy?

Posted by Tim B. on 05/08/2005 at 07:39 AM
  1. No, but maybe,like MoDo’s brother, his brother had an oedipus complex.

    Posted by Nic on 2005 05 08 at 09:17 AM • permalink

  2. And did Mrs Dowd have an ICBM?

    Posted by C.L. on 2005 05 08 at 09:18 AM • permalink

  3. You should see how it reads in the Chicago Defender (a black newspaper)!  (“I once be doin’ the nasty with this homie who don’t be givin’ props to his mama cause she be dressin’ like Mama on That’s My Mama…”)

    Interesting that even though Modo is now like 60 or something, she still writes from the Baby Boomer perspective of the child, not the parent’s perspective.

    Posted by Mike G on 2005 05 08 at 09:18 AM • permalink

  4. I once wanted to harbour an illicit Oedipus complex.

    Then I realized it was too late, I’d already exterminated my entire family.

    Good times.

    Posted by Saddam on 2005 05 08 at 09:19 AM • permalink

  5. MoDo said:

    I went out once with a guy….

    Poor guy.  I hope his insurance covered the medical treatments.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 05 08 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  6. On second thought, maybe MoDo and Kim Jong-il used to date.  You know, secret meetings at obscure locations set up by North Korean security for the happy couple to spend some quality time together without worry of interference.  Aren’t they about the same age?

    But I have to say, that mental image of MoDo and Kim Jong-il in bed together…..ugh!!!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 05 08 at 09:57 AM • permalink

  7. Yeah, but she dumped. Afterwards, he was so ronery… so very, very ronery…

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 05 08 at 10:22 AM • permalink

  8. o/t
    Is it a bird-is it a plane? No it’s Super Religious Kevan Rudd.Mild mannered swot womble turns into a “Christian Socialist” when Geraldine lucky O’Doogue interviews him on Compass.

    Posted by crash on 2005 05 08 at 10:40 AM • permalink

  9. I went out once with a guy….

    ...and he went on to give up sex and marry Andrea Dworkin…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 08 at 11:46 AM • permalink

  10. And did you note she’s still playing with her new “chimera” word.  How cute!  It Pays to Increase Your Word Power…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 08 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  11. The_ Real_ Jeffs!  Gee thanks for #6.  Now everybody has these horrific images!  How about MoDo-KimDo-MargoDo.  Yikes, what has Pythagoras wrought?

    Posted by yojimbo on 2005 05 08 at 12:36 PM • permalink

  12. I just hate it when this silly woman tries to revise history.

    Posted by terryelee on 2005 05 08 at 12:45 PM • permalink

  13. Dve S. —Team America DVD, May 15th!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 08 at 12:55 PM • permalink

  14. Uncensored, to boot! The puppet-sex scene will be restored to its full gloriosity!

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 05 08 at 01:50 PM • permalink

  15. Dave S.  — Castanets!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 08 at 02:33 PM • permalink

  16. Leave it to MoDo to associate with people who grade their moms (and mums) on personal appearance alone.

    #3, Mike G:  She writes from the child’s perspective because, emotionally, she is a child and will always be one.  That’s what’s wrong with her.  In case you wondered.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 05 08 at 03:01 PM • permalink

  17. There’s a word for people who grade their mothers on attractiveness: 

    Eeeeeeeew!

    Posted by jic on 2005 05 08 at 03:58 PM • permalink

  18. Dave S — But will it have the Alec Baldwin song in the credits?  It must have the Alec Baldwin song!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 08 at 06:37 PM • permalink

  19. Ooooo, I haven’t heard about that. I’m kinda fixated on the puppet sex.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 05 08 at 09:01 PM • permalink

  20. jic, re: #17.  There’s another word as well, but Andrea would ban me for using it.

    yojimbo…...just think about lack of sleep I had!  Bummer, man.  Nightmares everywhere.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 05 09 at 01:56 AM • permalink

  21. Now I’m wondering what Kim Jong Il’s mother looked like.

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 05 09 at 03:01 PM • permalink

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