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MUSLIMS ACCUSED

Pakistan religious affairs minister Mohammed Ijaz ul-Haq offers calming words following Salman Rushdie’s knighthood:

“The West is accusing Muslims of extremism and terrorism. If someone exploded a bomb on his body, he would be right to do so unless the British government apologizes and withdraws the ‘sir’ title,” ul-Haq said.

Extremism? Terrorism? Why, such thoughts would never cross our minds.

(Via Paco)

Posted by Tim B. on 06/19/2007 at 09:15 AM
  1. I would really like to get with the program and believe that Islam is the “Religion of Peace,” but it’s kind of hard with all these Muslim’s crying out for violence.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 06 19 at 09:24 AM • permalink

  2. But they were provoked into committing acts of terrorism.  And we were warned.  Fair’s fair.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 06 19 at 09:24 AM • permalink

  3. Who would have thought the Pakis were literary critics.  Wonder what meeja watch will make of this one?

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 19 at 09:24 AM • permalink

  4. “The West is accusing Muslims of extremism and terrorism.

    You murder a few thousand people with bombs, and they just never let you forget. Sheesh.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 19 at 09:25 AM • permalink

  5. I imagined myself interviewing this guy (in a surreal world where I’m a journalist):

    ul-Haq: “Salman Rushdie has hurt the feelings of muslims worldwide”

    me: “That’s _SIR_ Rushdie to you, mate.”

    Sorry, fantasy over.

    Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 06 19 at 09:26 AM • permalink

  6. So he’s suggesting that Mozzies disprove the accusation of being terrorists and extremists by committing terrorism?

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 19 at 09:29 AM • permalink

  7. I suspect Sir Salman is not the first “Sir” to get up the noses of these evil people.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 19 at 09:29 AM • permalink

  8. That’s the most flagrantly hypocritical playing of the victim card I’ve ever seen.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 19 at 09:36 AM • permalink

  9. I have to admit that I’m getting tired of seeing the same crowd of wowsers, standing around in their Fred Mertz nightshirts, burning flags, and passing judgement on people who have evolved to the higher, pants-wearing stage of human development. What a waste of genetic material.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 19 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  10. #9 paco:

    Come on, it’s a work of genius: no need to waste time changing clothes when you get up OR go to bed. Timesaving mastery! They’re WAAAY ahead of us.

    Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 06 19 at 09:56 AM • permalink

  11. “The West is accusing Muslims of extremism and terrorism. If someone exploded a bomb on his body, he would be right to do so

    Nahhhhh Mohammed. “The West” is not accusing, we have proof and you just verified that proof, once again.
    Signed,
    El ‘Compost’ Cid

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 19 at 09:58 AM • permalink

  12. These stupid men and their tanties are doing the demolition job on the RoP all by themselves. They don’t need us to point out the obvious. Keep up the good work, fellas.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 06 19 at 09:58 AM • permalink

  13. Anybody who dares call us terrorists should be blown up for such lies!

    Posted by curious george on 2007 06 19 at 09:59 AM • permalink

  14. or should that be fellahideen…

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 06 19 at 10:00 AM • permalink

  15. What a waste of genetic material.

    Now,now Paco. Lest you be tagged as Mr. Waste of Genetic Material on ABC.

    Oh should you, welcome to the gang…:).

    El ‘Mr. Compost’ Cid

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 19 at 10:01 AM • permalink

  16. Islam, impervious armor against irony.

    :^þ

    El “Compost” Cid? Hey! I know where you got that!

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 19 at 10:08 AM • permalink

  17. Hey! I know where you got that!

    Yep, ya’ got me, Spiny Norman my friend…Lowe’s Home Improvement…no, no Home Depot…hmmmm, or was it Mulch and More…damn.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 19 at 10:10 AM • permalink

  18. “If someone exploded a bomb on his body . . .”

    I have this fantasy about waving a magic wand, and everytime one of these suicide bombers decides to “expand his horizons”, instead of a bomb exploding, a little American flag pops up out of his knapsack or suicide belt, paper streamers shoot into the air, and the environs are filled with the strains of “The Stars and Stripes Forever.” Sounds like a job for Preemptive American Comedy Ordnance.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 19 at 10:19 AM • permalink

  19. As a pacifist, I’m so glad nobody advocates zapping these people.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 06 19 at 10:22 AM • permalink

  20. El Cid,

    Andrea?

    or

    Andrea?

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 19 at 10:23 AM • permalink

  21. #18 although over here God Save The Queen would be preferable.

    Personally I’d like Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life. And mini Mars bars could rain through the air onto childrens’ heads.

    What a planet we live on.

    Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 06 19 at 10:24 AM • permalink

  22. What a waste of genetic material

    With a name like Mohammed Ijiz ... Pakistani Arse-hat Commanding Officer

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 19 at 10:27 AM • permalink

  23. If someone exploded a bomb on his body, he would be right to do so unless the British government apologizes and withdraws the ‘sir’ title

    Be my guest.  Just do it in your neighbourhood.

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 19 at 10:34 AM • permalink

  24. #21 thinandbritish: There’s absolutely no reason the magic wand couldn’t be adjusted to accomodate British preferences. And I really like the idea of chocolate bars.

    As to your comment at #10: imagine this happening when one of those fellows walks over an air return grate. Not nearly so pretty a picture.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 19 at 10:35 AM • permalink

  25. It’s a brilliant move by Blair.  He’s done this as a final swipe at the Mozzies

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 19 at 10:37 AM • permalink

  26. ul_Haq has since clarified his
    remarks

    “He later retracted his statement, explaining that he had intended to say that knighting Rushdie will foster extremism. “If someone blows himself up, he will consider himself justified. How can we fight terrorism when those who commit blasphemy are rewarded by the West? We demand an apology by the British government. Their action has hurt the sentiments of 1.5 billion Muslims.”

    Oh, all right then.  You aren’t advocating that a member of the Religion of Peace be a suicide bomber, just that a member of the Religion of Peace would feel justified in being a suicide bomber.

    Glad that’s all straightened out.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 06 19 at 10:39 AM • permalink

  27. #24 Thanks for that image paco. I WAS going to go out for a meal tonight. Think I’ll stay in and drink instead.

    Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 06 19 at 10:40 AM • permalink

  28. If someone exploded a bomb on his body, he would be right to do so

    Great, more splodey dopes…..

    #18 Let’s see, what would be a really cool acronym for “Preemptive American Comedy Ordinance”..........gotta think about that one…...

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 06 19 at 10:40 AM • permalink

  29. Behead those who say presbyterianism is violent!

    Posted by bondo on 2007 06 19 at 10:41 AM • permalink

  30. #29 Be careful not to say that around the Lutherans

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 06 19 at 10:45 AM • permalink

  31. #25 Murph: What?!? Surely this isn’t Tim’s last criticism of radical Islam? Are you suggesting that someone from the Nightshirt and Ninja Sweatpants Brigade might try to get him? Ok, folks, time to rally ‘round the chief! Make with the shield ring, or better yet, the defensive yak circle. Let’s move, let’s . . . Hold on a sec, there’s the telephone.

    Hello? Michael Lonie! Say, you’re calling at a very opportune moment. We need someone with a turbo-charged IQ to take charge of Tim Blair’s security. Now, what I was thinking . . . Huh? Who? Tony Blair? Murph meant Tony Blair, not Tim? Oh, man, that’s pretty embarrassing. Now the folks here will think I’m not hip to foreign events. What’s that? Tell them what? Y-e-a-h, that’ll work. Thanks, Mike!

    Ok, this has been a test of the Tim Blair Emergency Warning System. We now return you to you regularly-scheduled comments.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 19 at 10:48 AM • permalink

  32. How can we fight terrorism when those who commit blasphemy are rewarded by the West?

    How about just not giving a rip? Really, if you think someone committing blasphemy is grounds for murder, or that it’s understandable why it would drive someone to murder, then you’re the problem.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 06 19 at 10:51 AM • permalink

  33. Sounds like a job for Preemptive American Comedy Ordnance.

    You’ve triggered my own fantasy, Paco, thank you!  Now I imagine that if I were Empress of the World, every imam who preaches death and destruction in his mosque would first be required to don clown shoes and a big red nose.  They’re already wearing baggy dresses, so all they’d need to complete the effect is a Volkswagen parked outside the door.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 19 at 10:56 AM • permalink

  34. #33 Rebecca: No doubt if that happened, some muslim ecclesiastic would dig up an obscure passage from the Koran, or from one of the commentaries, indicating that Big Mo had feet the size of pontoons and a crimson proboscis, so, “‘Bismillah!, no laughing, you dogs of unbelievers!”

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 19 at 11:06 AM • permalink

  35. paco

    Tony, not Tim

    Posted by murph on 2007 06 19 at 11:26 AM • permalink

  36. Besides, what with having to deal with an Episcopalian “ima’am”, I’m sure they’re all feeling a lot of pressure these days.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 19 at 11:26 AM • permalink

  37. Does anyone know what part of “The Satanic Verses” these frenzied nincompoops are so offended about?
    Have any Muslims actually read it? Has anybody out there read it? Is it a riveting read? It’s got me fucked.

    Posted by Skid Marx on 2007 06 19 at 11:27 AM • permalink

  38. sm #37:

    Had a look on Amazon and it looks really good actually. Think I might give it a go…..

    Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 06 19 at 11:32 AM • permalink

  39. #37: Skid Marx (great handle, by the way): Haven’t read it. Probably not my cup of tea, anyway (more of an 18th and 19th century eng lit wallah, myself). However, here is some commentary and a synopsis of the novel.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 19 at 11:35 AM • permalink

  40. Just the Brotherhood of the Perpetually Offended doing their thing. Again.

    Posted by SandiM on 2007 06 19 at 12:06 PM • permalink

  41. Answering Islam - Satanic Verses

    Posted by SandiM on 2007 06 19 at 12:15 PM • permalink

  42. Thanx Paco and SandiM for the links.
    Well, roger me senseless with a cocktail sausage!

    Posted by Skid Marx on 2007 06 19 at 12:32 PM • permalink

  43. Beclown those who insult freedom of speech!

    Posted by Jeffersonian on 2007 06 19 at 12:56 PM • permalink

  44. If someone exploded a bomb on his body, he would be right to do so

    Oh please, you said the same thing last night when “Scrubs” was a rerun.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 06 19 at 01:02 PM • permalink

  45. Satanic Verses was a decent read (make it a summer beach book if you’re so inclined), but quite frankly I wouldn’t have read it (nor bought the first hardcover edition) if there hadn’t been the uproar.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 06 19 at 01:34 PM • permalink

  46. Just wait till this movie comes out.

    h/t: Kesher Talk

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 06 19 at 01:56 PM • permalink

  47. #37 -

    Satanic Verses frankly sucked.  At least judging by the few pages of pretentiously incoherent blather I was able to wade through before giving up in disgust.  That said, if it pisses off the Religion of Petulance, you go Sir Salman.

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 06 19 at 01:59 PM • permalink

  48. This guy sounds like a Letterman stooge.

    Posted by Rittenhouse on 2007 06 19 at 02:11 PM • permalink

  49. What Achillea said, in #47.  The book is only good for a college lit class, if universities had the courage and there wasn’t the Religion of Outrage Perpetuated to contend with.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 19 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  50. Lawmakers in Pakistan’s lower house of parliament on Monday passed a resolution proposed by Minister for Parliamentary Affairs Sher Afgan Khan Niazi who branded Rushdie — who was born in India into a Muslim family — a “blasphemer.”

    Nice name.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 06 19 at 03:30 PM • permalink

  51. #50: Woooo, good spotting, Dminor!

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 19 at 03:38 PM • permalink

  52. It’s amusing that the Pakistanis, who after all are no longer members of the Empire,take the antiquated British honours system so seriously, since no-one else does, especially in Britain itself. It’s not as though anyone in the UK trawls the pages of the Karachi Times looking to see who made it to Commander of the Faithful, 3rd Class, in the President’s Birthday Honours.

    Posted by Big Arnie on 2007 06 19 at 04:36 PM • permalink

  53. It just looks a bit like Nazi, paco, but is actually pronounced murdering theocratic fascist bastard.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 06 19 at 04:36 PM • permalink

  54. For some reason, I am reminded of Bertie Wooster, and one of the stories in which he has given Jeeves a volume of Spinoza, and wonders idly, at one point, whether Jeeves has gotten to the part where the body with the chinese paper knife sticking out of its back has been discovered in the pantry.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 19 at 04:56 PM • permalink

  55. “If someone exploded a bomb on his body, he would be right to do “.

    Of course it’s the right thing to do.
    Go to some marshlands, far from people, and do the right thing.

    Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 06 19 at 05:57 PM • permalink

  56. I can’t tell you how it cools my fevered brow to come here and read the wit and wisdom of the witty and wise who frequent the place.  I envy this way of handling the stupidity of the world; I’m sure it is healthier than my own impotent anger and frustration. 

    Anyway, thanks once again for the giggles.

    (Palmer’s an ass.)

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 06 19 at 06:14 PM • permalink

  57. How arrogant to think that you can tell a soverign nation (or is that nation’s sovereign?), that it is inappropriate to invest a writer as a Knight because he wrote a book which you find offensive. Making veiled threats of terrorism. Thinly veiled threats.

    #32 Rob Crawford
    They aren’t familiar with the “water off a duck’s back” tenet of living*.

    How worthy is anything, especially a supposed religion, which stifles discussion? How strong is a religion which beheads denies question?

    If it was such a good and powerful dogma you wouldn’t need to force adherance.

    *Same as they aren’t familiar with the “sticks and stones”, well, they are familiar with sticks and stones (and cranes and so on), but the “names will never hurt me” seems to be lost.


    #24 Paco
    She was a stunner, wasn’t she!

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 19 at 06:53 PM • permalink

  58. Sir Salman is going to be the Motoons of 2007. where’s the ABC, Phillip Adams and co stand on this.

    Rushdie is of Indian descent but he has offended Muslims by being a great writer. Who do they support? The deny Rushdie a knighthood, that smacks of racism. To give him a knighthood, it upsets Muslims. That smacks of racism.

    Expect the left will try to explain that it shows that Anglo-Saxons, especially the Queen, are indeed the most racist people on earth because everything they do is racist.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 06 19 at 07:43 PM • permalink

  59. Thought for the day..


    What you resist, is what you get.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 06 19 at 08:17 PM • permalink

  60. Paco beat me to it. I saw that quote and had to LARF-OUT-LOUD.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 06 19 at 08:53 PM • permalink

  61. Come on guys, you know in the following thread that Palmer is going to castigate us for saying “Kill the M’F's”. No, we must moderate our tone if we want to secretly plan the ... shhh!

    We must innoculate them from measles.

    Or, as I’ve noticed a nice little code phrase from the enemy: “Go abroad to marry”.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 06 19 at 09:01 PM • permalink

  62. I suspect most Muslims have never read the book.

    Indeed, I suspect the vast majority of protesters haven’t read a book full stop.

    It’s the title that annoys them - it refers to the infamous early days of Islam where Mohammed, desperately falling out of favor with the polytheists who ruled Mecca, suddenly received a “revelation from God” that said, well, shucks, its ok to worship pagan Arabic goddesses after all.

    The polytheists, who seemed to be smarter than their converted descendants, noticed the silliness of it all and quite rightly fingered Mo as a collosal hypocrite, thus creating the first “shamed” Muslim. They’ve been embarrassed about the whole thing ever since.

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 06 20 at 03:42 AM • permalink

  63. Maybe they have read the boring tome, and are upset and want their money back.  Some people may find Rushdie’s work crap but we should defend the right for it to be published.  Free speech in Totalitarian Islam, no chance! where is Monica Leftard when you need her.

    Posted by Howzat on 2007 06 20 at 03:45 AM • permalink

  64. Ah, Wimpy I get it. The prearanged code. OK: I will be SITTING UP LATE (wink) while WATCHING THE BABY (wink) because he seems to really HAVE THE SHITS (wink) and his mum needs her SLEEP (wink).

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 06 20 at 07:33 AM • permalink

  65. #46 yes make that movie pleeeeease

    Posted by KK on 2007 06 20 at 11:02 AM • permalink

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