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NEWS BRIEFLETS

* Attention, Andrew West: mining fatalities have dropped every year President Bush has been in the White House. But he just doesn’t care!

* The number of people killed on French roads fell below 5,000 last year. Which is understandable, considering all their cars have been torched.

* Compassionate head-tilts from the entire Alito clan

* Greenpeace claim they were rammed by whalers; whalers say they were rammed by Greenpeace. Both sides present video evidence.

* Glue-sniffing Cambodian gangster monkeys are on the loose, as usual.

* Matt Duffy: “For the record, my luggage problem never led to the death of 345 people.”

* Excellent fiskings from Neil Steinberg and Toby.

* Harry’s Place brings you up to speed on George Galloway’s oily adventures inside the Big Brother house.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/13/2006 at 12:45 AM
  1. Finally, something to read.

    Come on Tim, you have to start getting up earlier.

    Your fans demand it!

    Posted by Go Canucks on 2006 01 13 at 01:54 AM • permalink

  2. Greenpeace uses some scientific terminology to explain how whales are similar to humans - no doubt to an audience with an estimated mental age of a preschooler :

    Whales are mammals. They are way more like us than they are fish. They are warm blooded like us, they have four chambered hearts like us, they have a little bit of hair, they breathe air, the mummy ones breast feed their babies...

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 01 13 at 02:13 AM • permalink

  3. What’s Japanese for “Take that hippy”?

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 01 13 at 02:15 AM • permalink

  4. I’m no sailor, but those videos appear to me to support the Japanese claims.  Unless international maritime law allows smaller, faster vessels to manuever within a small fleet of large, slower vessels.

    Any nautical types out there that might want to venture an opinion?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 01 13 at 02:46 AM • permalink

  5. * Compassionate head-tilts from the entire Alito clan! 

    Are you sure they weren’t watching Senator Ted *hic* Kennedy about to fall over?

    ;^)

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 01 13 at 03:33 AM • permalink

  6. Greenpeace claims it had the right of way… I don’t think that means they can try to go THROUGH the Japanese ship….

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2006 01 13 at 03:58 AM • permalink

  7. Anyone who has sailing experience knows that no matter who has the legal right of way, the overriding, common-sense rule is always: Yield to tonnage.

    Posted by lil varmint on 2006 01 13 at 04:08 AM • permalink

  8. i think your usually on safe ground to assume that greenpeace “activists” are media tarts that will stop at nothing to get inflammatory, staged images to back up their campaigns.  There sense of ethics in this respect probably rank about as low as Mike Moore’s in terms of truth in their film clips.

    Not that i particularly have much sympathy with the jappo’s in this particular case, but i wouldn’t trust most greepeace fanatics as far as i could kick them…..

    Posted by casanova on 2006 01 13 at 04:25 AM • permalink

  9. What’s Japanese for “Take that hippy”?

    Sodu offa, swampyru.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 01 13 at 05:19 AM • permalink

  10. Judging from that picture of the Alito crew, it looks like they just took a hit off of starboard from a Romulan bird-of-prey.

    “I need more power, SCOTUS!”

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 01 13 at 05:29 AM • permalink

  11. Apparently about 2.5 million Muslims travel to Mecca (population ~ 200,000) every year for the hajj.

    One study has reported 1700 fatalities in a single season just from heat related disorders.  And then there are the stampedes, infectious diseases, vehicle accidents, heart attacks and building collapses etc., that add further to hajj mortality.

    As I understand it there are about 6 billion people in the world.  If the Wahabists got their way and took over the whole world then if every one of the 6 billion people in the world did the right Muslim thing and made a hajj at least once in their lifetime you would have at least 85.7 million people (and their luggage) visiting Mecca at the same time every year. 

    Apart from the difficulties in providing accommodation for all these people imagine what the death toll would be!  Close to 60,000 just because of the heat!  Imagine the hospitals they’d have to build to cater for sick pilgrims but that would only be used for a few days every year!  Can even the oil-rich Saudis afford such expenditure?

    I think the Wahabists should give up their ideological/territorial ambitions now, while they’re still managing to cope with the influx of pilgrims moderately well.

    Posted by Janice on 2006 01 13 at 06:19 AM • permalink

  12. <blockquote>Cows/pigs/sheep are mammals. They are way more like us than they are fish. They are warm blooded like us, they have four chambered hearts like us, they have a little bit of hair, they breathe air, the mummy ones breast feed their babies…<blockquote>

    I wonder how many Greenpeace cacktivists eat beef/pork/lamb?

    Posted by xj on 2006 01 13 at 07:40 AM • permalink

  13. Geenpeace lackey:

    Even the photo Japan put out the other day, if you look closely there’s a wake in front of our ship because we were actually in reverse at the time.”

    Bullshit!

    It’s fairly common knowlege that Greenpeace ‘activists’ frequently try to obstruct target vessels. They even brag about it in their press releases.

    The linked Japanese video clip shows the Greenie vessel reverse course only at the last [impossible] second. i.e When the swampy Captain realized that the S-turn he’d just pulled toward the Nisshin Maru might not have been such a brilliant idea....Apparently the concept of linear momentum doesn’t exist in greenworld.

    Moral: Don’t cross courses with a ship that displaces 8 times your tonnage.
    Dumbass hippies.

    Posted by monkeyfan on 2006 01 13 at 08:32 AM • permalink

  14. So more cars died this year in France than people?

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 01 13 at 08:59 AM • permalink

  15. Matt Duffy: “For the record, my luggage problem never led to the death of 345 people.”

    The authorities in Mecca basically have ONE job:  to look after pilgrims.  They have been doing it for well over 1000 years.  And every year, something like this happens.  That kind of incompetence is downright impressive.

    Posted by jic on 2006 01 13 at 09:41 AM • permalink

  16. Never mind the real-world laws of physics, Greenpeace has unassailable moral authority!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 13 at 11:44 AM • permalink

  17. I’m more interested in the glue-sniffing Cambodian gangster monkeys.  Can you imagine those little buggers let loose in, say, Seattle, next time there’s an anti-WTO demonstration?  It would be the end of the anti-global movement as we know it.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 01 13 at 12:24 PM • permalink

  18. I swear, I was going to use Neil Steinberg’s Lyndon Johnson story on the Leunig thread. When I remember Steinberg’s stalking the Chicago Tribune’s Bob Greene like that sick girl in The Natural, I’m so glad I didn’t. Hi Neil, hope this made your day.

    Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2006 01 13 at 12:35 PM • permalink

  19. #17 - get on that pronto, wronwright.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 01 13 at 01:10 PM • permalink

  20. Speaking of Alito, the denizens of the Democratic Underground are taking his imminent comfirmation with their customary thoughtful analysis and restraint:

    SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN NOW!!

    Posted by Randal Robinson on 2006 01 13 at 02:53 PM • permalink

  21. #20 My favorite comment on the Democratic Underground thread was #114:

    Are ya going to wait until ya are being put on railway cars to Gitmo

    Railway cars.  To Cuba.

    Posted by VKI on 2006 01 13 at 04:42 PM • permalink

  22. Memo
    To:  Achillea, RebeccaH, Richard McEnroe, JayC, PW, et al
    Subject:  Allocation of Resources

    Fact #1:  There are currently 2,000+ minions in the Evil Death Cult Known as Neoconservatism.  Most of these have significant amounts of un- or under-utilized time.  Almost all would enthusiasticly embrace any orders to further the aims and goals of the Death Cult.

    Fact #2:  5,000 applications, strictly limited to that number due to budgetary restraints on Kinko charges, for new minions were zapped up in 1.5 hours at the “So You’re Considering a Career in Evil Mayhem” Day at Halliburton headquarters last October.  Estimates in the thousands were placed on those persons forced to leave without an application, mainly through the use of stunning ray guns.  The riot was characterized as an anti-war protest initiated by Mother Sheehan.

    Fact #3:  There are more than 300 fascists in training, at various levels of the apprenticeship track, most with little to do.

    Fact #4:  There are approximately 50 fairly evil henchman with a desire to do something spectacularly dastardly that would catapault them into ascension as full fledged members of the Death Cult.  Many of these can regularly be found at significant intervals of the day in a fairly sober state.

    Recommendation:  Next time you need someone to do some especially lame and thankless task, pick up a phone and call one of them.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 01 13 at 05:17 PM • permalink

  23. PS:  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 01 13 at 05:18 PM • permalink

  24. This whole wronwright thing is starting to sound a bit like Evil Genius...

    Posted by david on 2006 01 13 at 07:05 PM • permalink

  25. My favorite comment on the Democratic Underground thread was the first one:

    “The Repukes [how clever! - ED.] are in dereliction of their duty and it’s time to take the ball out of their hands…. literally.”

    Literally! Remove that baseball from the hands of every Republican in Congress. Then they will have no baseball. How can they govern without a baseball?

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 01 13 at 11:51 PM • permalink

  26. I think you’re missing the deeper meaning, Dave S.—that the left has no balls.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 01 14 at 12:27 AM • permalink

  27. Gawd! I don’t think those wannabe Morlocks have had such a snit since… oh, I don’t know… since the Roberts nomination?

    DU - A mind is a terrible thing to lose.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 01 14 at 01:06 AM • permalink

  28. wronwright — Union Rules, my good son… you don’t want to bring up any DEMARCATION issues, do you?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 14 at 01:31 AM • permalink

  29. Alito beet a’dubya on my bench,
    He dinna wanna legislate like the French…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 14 at 01:34 AM • permalink

  30. Memo
    To:  Achillea, RebeccaH, Richard McEnroe, JayC, PW, et al
    Subject:  Sinister Neocon Cabal Management Handbook

    Note: wronwright is not cleared for this.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 14 at 01:42 AM • permalink

  31. Jeez, those DU clowns are friggin’ clueless.  They are using the shut down of the Federal Government in 1995 as their revolutionary “model”.  Oi!

    That shutdown came about because Congress (Republican controlled, in at least one house) and Bill “Bubba” Clinton bickered over the budget.  Clinton called the Congressional bluff, and most (not all) of the Federal Government shut down for a week or two. 

    This is not exactly the same situation.

    As I said…...FRIGGIN’ CLUELESS!!!!

    Which shouldn’t be a surprise, should it?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 01 14 at 02:09 AM • permalink

  32. I’m more interested in the glue-sniffing Cambodian gangster monkeys.  Can you imagine those little buggers let loose in, say, Seattle, next time there’s an anti-WTO demonstration?

    That’s wronwright on the left.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 14 at 01:56 PM • permalink

  33. Yesssssssss...Unleash Emperor Bushitler’s crack Cambodian gangster monkey squad on the unassailably moral ones.

    Posted by monkeyfan on 2006 01 14 at 04:51 PM • permalink

  34. Memo
    To: To:  Achillea, RebeccaH, Richard McEnroe, JayC, PW, et al
    Subject: Evil Neocon Cabal Employee Orientation

    Please confirm that wronwright has received a copy of the current edition.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 01 14 at 05:38 PM • permalink

  35. Crapsticks!
    Forever an et al...

    Posted by monkeyfan on 2006 01 14 at 06:01 PM • permalink

  36. #17: Sadly, no. Where do you think the Anti-WTO types come from in the first place?

    Posted by paco on 2006 01 14 at 08:24 PM • permalink

  37. Memo
    To: To:  Achillea, RebeccaH, Richard McEnroe, JayC, PW, et al
    Subject: Evil Neocon Cabal Employee Orientation

    Wronwright was issued the appropriately abridged edition, deleting Rules 9, 10, 15, 21,22 and 24.

    The deletion of Rule 24 allowed the retention of all rules in Section IV.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 01 14 at 10:17 PM • permalink

  38. The Japanese should build a mighty fleet of nucular powered research vessels Rainbow Rammers with torpedos disguised as Minke whales.

    Posted by monkeyfan on 2006 01 15 at 06:32 PM • permalink

  39. #37 Was it marked “for your eyes only?”

    Posted by crash on 2006 01 15 at 06:53 PM • permalink

  40. I am completely bummed out, another club that won’t give me an invitation.  My psyche is again damaged as when my membership for the 3 Stooges Fan Club came back marked address unknown.

    Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 01 17 at 12:37 AM • permalink

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