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NEWS BRIEFLETS
� I once installed garden sprinklers at John Elliott’s house. By bitter coincidence, the company that bankrupted him is called Water Wheel.
� Howard Dean thinks the Democrats are right on track: “We have a message to sell. I frankly think it’s a better message than the Republicans’; we’ve just got to figure out how to get it out there.” I suggest SHOUTING REALLY LOUDLY. Oh; you tried that already.
� Sam Ward asks: “If you genetically engineered away all the bad things about cats, wouldn’t you just end up with a dog anyway?”
� Arthur Chrenkoff has your latest good news from Afghanistan.
� What kind of sick monster would steal John Quiggin’s posts?
� Pencil sharpeners are now banned in a UK grade school following a bloody calligraphy incident.
� The BBC’s gentle description of Theo van Gogh’s passing is noted by Professor Bunyip.
� Sure, she’s demented and all, but former human shield Donna Mulhearn is actually doing some good in Iraq: “I handed to the children a bag of bright, coloured ribbons and beautiful cards collected by a 95-year-old woman from Sydney as well as some drawings sent from primary-school children in America. The children’s eyes sparkled at the sight of the gifts from people from across the world ... On the footpath outside I told a gathering of staff and neighbours that Australian people care about Iraqi children and want to help.” We cared so much we joined in the effort to depose Saddam, an improvement Mulhearn doesn’t recognise.
on second thought maybe that should have been “anything this guy can’t do”....
Posted by benson swears a lot on 2004 12 14 at 02:53 AM • permalinkDean at the DNC would be great for a laugh.
Posted by Andrew Ian Dodge on 2004 12 14 at 03:08 AM • permalinkThe children’s eyes sparkled when given ribbons and cards?
Mulhearn is blind to her own self-importance. Most children’s eyes would have glazed over, wondering why the old bat was shoving someone else’s junk - collected by the obligatory 95-year-old woman, of course - at them, instead of throwing it in the trash.
Which is probably what they did as soon as Mulhearn wandered off, radiant with the joy of recycling.
Meanwhile, when I went to choose a dog breed I specifically went for a highly catlike one- quiet, independent and self-assured, clean, aloof with strangers and undemonstrative. The cat still holds several advantages over the dog, as he doesn’t require me to be around to let him out when he needs to go to the bathroom, is entirely self-cleaning instead of needing a bath once every few months, scratches on his post and is otherwise nondestructive, eats half a cup of food a day instead of six full cups and growing, and can sit on my lap and purr rather than coating me in layers of saliva when he’s feeling affectionate.
The dog does manage to make up for it with his capacity to remove limbs from trespassers, however.
From her Yahoo group “The Pilgrim”...
“Although I was there delivering help, it did not make up for my country’s role in invading and trashing their country and maintaining a violent occupation which just destroyed all their homes. I heard them mention John Howard by name.”
So they’re better on details than some of the US MSM.
“There was a long, heated discussion about this between the boys. Some of them thought this, an Australian in their midst, might be a good opportunity for revenge.”
Oh no! NOT THE HEAD!
“But as they talked more, saw what we were doing and listened to our message, they came to a place of understanding.”
Phew. Our Donna, spreading goodwill, understanding and ribbons. Are we sure she’s for real?
“If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are.” - Terry Pratchett, “Lords and Ladies” If you haven’t read any of his Discworld books, I highly recommend them. I advise starting with “Guards, Guards”, one of the best of them. Tim, you may be interested in “The Last Continent”, about the Discworld equivalent of Australia.
Dogs & Cats:
Have always owned dogs, never had a cat until one adopted me a few years back (a stray cat I fed and he eventually moved in and stayed).
He never clawed furniture, refused to use a litter box (always went outside just like a dog .. no ‘cat smell’ in the house), always greeted me when I came home just like my dogs did, was never aloof, and loved attention. He was a great cat. I treated him, with a few exceptions of course, just like my dogs.
I was informed by veteran cat owners that he was very un-cat like. My cat-owning friends thought it was amazing how he never used the litter boxes I purchased for him. No matter where I put them, what I put in them, or what type they were he just refused to have anything to do with a litter box.
The first time I put one down, he sniffed at it, scratched around in it and looked at me with an expression that I swear was disdainful. He never went near any other I brought home. (My cat-owning friends insisted I needed a litter box so I tried a few different types.) He was entirely house broken so I eventually gave up trying. It was fine by me if he wanted to go outside.
“Cats rule, dogs drool.”
Great line from a great movie!!
Van Gogh:
It’s disgusting how some are treating this man’s murder. I don’t understand why artists (Hollywood types) aren’t very upset. Why don’t we see more articles condemning the murder of a man for expressing his point of view?
Van Gogh wrote some pretty vile (to me) stuff about Christians. I bet if a crazy Christian had murdered this man it would be front page news around the world.
We’d hear from artists about how freedom of expression was being threatened. We’d also hear from Christian leaders, like the Pope, condemning those who had committed the murder.
As far as I know the only large group that has come out and condemned what happened to Van Gogh is a large group of Turkish Muslims who live in Germany. They are to be applauded.
The Western Media have reacted in a way that makes you wonder if they think Van Gogh somehow deserved what he got.
Posted by CJosephson on 2004 12 14 at 01:46 PM • permalinkOh, I adore Pratchett. One of the non-Discworld books he wrote is “The Unadulterated Cat”. The secret to understanding cat lovers is that we KNOW what vicious little bastards they are- we find it part of their charm.
After sitting through an enlightening forensics class involving the tendency of pet cats to begin eating you minutes after you’ve hit the ground dead, usually starting at the face, I still went home and tickled my Siamese behind the ears.
(And to CJosephson- cats are very, very picky about upholding whatever they learned in kittenhood regarding hygeine and food. Refusal to use a litterbox if he’d learned to use a nice shady corner outside is perfectly normal regardless of what your friends said.)
“After sitting through an enlightening forensics class involving the tendency of pet cats to begin eating you minutes after you’ve hit the ground dead”
Hey! Cats even recycle. Dogs? They just wait until you are all nice and rotten and then roll around in your jellied remains.
Posted by Andrea Harris on 2004 12 14 at 05:07 PM • permalink“Maurice and his Educated Rodents” is the best Pratchett cat-work, IMHO.
(By the way, how’d we get on to Terry Pratchett and cats?)
Posted by Quentin George on 2004 12 14 at 05:24 PM • permalink“Refusal to use a litterbox if he’d learned to use a nice shady corner outside is perfectly normal regardless of what your friends said.”
Thanks for the info. I am not a cat person so I was guided, at first, by people I knew with cats who insisted I was doing something wrong. Since it was his choice to avoid the litter box, it never bothered me.
For me, the biggest difference between owning a cat vs. owning a dog was the yearly ‘visit to the vet’. I would much rather take a dog than take my cat.
I had a couple of dogs that hated the vet. I’d have to hold them down while they got their exam and then their shots. It was difficult, but manageable.
When I took my cat he didn’t seem to mind at first. He stood patiently while the vet looked at his eyes, ears and coat. When the vet decided to take his temperature things got out of hand.
He did NOT like that at all. Gave me a dirty look and tried to jump off the table. I was able to prevent him from jumping down, but I could not hold him still.
The cat was so sleek and skinny that I was unable to get a good grip. No matter how I gripped him he just squirmed and made me change the hold I had on him. The vet had to ask one of the receptionists to come in and help hold him with me.
All the years taking dogs to the vet I never had to be aided holding an animal on the examination table. I just could not get a grip on that cat that he could not squirm/wriggle out of. My dogs, even the small ones, were solid and easily gripped. The cat was like trying to grip jello. I could keep him from jumping off the table, but I could not hold him still.
It was a REAL joy when the vet gave him a shot!!
I needed to have a friend or a family member go with me each year we went for his vet’s visit. One of the vets gave me a sedative to give to him BEFORE we arrived. Never seemed to do much good.
Even when he had been with me for years he was a very sleek cat and VERY difficult to hold still because there was never much to grip onto.
I can’t complain though. In all the years he was alive the only trouble he ever gave me was the vet’s visit.
Posted by CJosephson on 2004 12 14 at 08:45 PM • permalinkemm.. has anyone seen the picture of john quiggan over at his site? looks like magilla gorilla!!
Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2004 12 14 at 09:15 PM • permalinkI am not really a cat or a dog person, but I foster greyhounds after they leave racing prior to them being placed in permanent homes.
They are gentle, intelligent. They are the cleanest dogs on earth.
The other day, at the vet’s, I saw two of these dogs being led in, to another clinic, behind.
They were two females, beautiful, tall, a little reticent, but clearly highly intelligent and aware of their surroundings. Perhaps a little too aware.
I asked the vet when I got to see him.
He said - yes.
He said - yes, there are hundreds.
Only relatively few get adopted out.
Pencil sharpeners are now banned in a UK grade school following a bloody calligraphy incident.
I take it this is a stop-gap measure until a certification scheme is in place to certify non-defective sharpeners, and the manufacturers of this defective sharpener have been sued.
Let us hope pencil sharpeners are made safe before they become the next box cutters in the next September 11.
Ran across a fine specimen of The Tilted Head Of Compassion and thought of you…:
http://www.sorryeverybody.com/gallery/single/se351.jpg/
Posted by A.M. Mora y Leon on 2004 12 14 at 11:39 PM • permalinkIs John Quiggin one of those satire sites like The Onion or Scrappleface? Just wondering.
Posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher on 2004 12 15 at 04:11 AM • permalinkI still think Howard Dean could have beat Bush. I’m glad he didn’t, but, look: John Kerry almost beat Bush. Howard Dean is an unreconstructed leftist, but he’s a consistent, coherent, down-to-earth unreconstructed leftist.
I’m not going to follow the pencil sharpener link. I’m too frightened by the thought that you might not be kidding.
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You used to install reticulation for a living?!?
tim blair. is there nothing this guy can’t do?
btw the site layout is borked in firefox - argh