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NON-MAGNETIC MECCA

Julie McCrossin in the Sydney Morning Herald:

Haraksin, 46, has used a wheelchair all her life because of brittle bones and small stature. She is 90 centimetres tall. A university graduate, she has always worked and supported herself.

Given another chance, Julie may have worded that conclusion slightly differently. In any case, Dr. Abd Al-Baset Al-Sayyed of the Egyptian National Research Center has the answer for Ms Haraksin and all people suffering walking disabilities: move to Mecca!

In Mecca, you don’t exert any effort. That’s why you may see an old man, who cannot walk, or who walks with crutches, and even though it gets very crowded around the Ka’ba, he is filled with great strength, and he circles the Ka’ba. You do not exert any effort, and you are filled with energy, because you are in a place in which there is no magnetic force.

Of course, magical Mecca sometimes has an opposite effect on the able-bodied.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/13/2007 at 02:09 AM
  1. We now have the answer as to why the Arab world is bereft of a Nobel Prize in any area of science. 

    It is dangerous for such an ignorant people to have technology.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 01 13 at 02:16 AM • permalink

  2. Mecca’s lack of magnetic force also explains why the muzzies moral compasses are so screwed up.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 13 at 02:22 AM • permalink

  3. So that’s why even the West’s most sensitive magnetic anomoly detectors are unable to detect the Submarine Fleet of Islam. They’ve all been totally de-gaussed at the Ka’ba.

    Fiendishly clever.

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2007 01 13 at 02:47 AM • permalink

  4. Wait for the greens to launch a placard demonstration in sympathy.
    “Byron bay is a magnetic field free area”.

    Posted by davo on 2007 01 13 at 03:19 AM • permalink

  5. And in another astonishing scientific revelation, the Egyptian Research Centre proved that the Pyramids were indeed a focal point for astral travel or teleportation. They produced this picture to show an Australian animal transorted mysteriously “out of context”.
    (thanks Margo’s Maid for that link)

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 01 13 at 03:44 AM • permalink

  6. What we really need, is an islamic Nobel Laureate to provide faith based scientific proof that becoming a hajji turns Crusader bullets into water. Oh, wait…

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 01 13 at 03:47 AM • permalink

  7. No Magnetism, these boneheads are just sucked into a giant vacuum where reality does not exist.  It is called ISLAM.

    Posted by Howzat on 2007 01 13 at 04:03 AM • permalink

  8. No magnetic force? What the hell do they put on the front of their fridges?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 13 at 04:09 AM • permalink

  9. No magnetic force? What the hell do they put on the front of their fridges?

    They put out-there-hilalys latest speeches, stuck on with dried cat meat.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 01 13 at 04:23 AM • permalink

  10. #1 saltydog

    We now have the answer as to why the Arab world is bereft of a Nobel Prize in any area of science.

    It is dangerous for such an ignorant people to have technology.

    Nothing more fun than 7th Century caravan raiders with 21st Century weaponry…

    8^0

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 13 at 04:42 AM • permalink

  11. If this is true, why are so many Australian Muslims on disability pensions?

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 01 13 at 04:43 AM • permalink

  12. Pffft….the true power that the good doctor seeing come from the Kaaba is obviously the divine grace of Hubal the Moon God, still looking after his followers centuries after they dumped him for a deity they stole off Jews.

    Nice guy.

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 01 13 at 04:59 AM • permalink

  13. My favourite bit from the LGF link is

    ... What I say is that there are people at the North Pole and the South Pole who cannot come here in multitudes.

    Interviewer: Really?

    Posted by Burbank on 2007 01 13 at 05:01 AM • permalink

  14. Ha! Mock and laugh as you may you sons of pigs and owls, bismillah, because our magnety-black rock is better than yours and proves that Allah loves us more than he does you. So neah.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 01 13 at 05:06 AM • permalink

  15. #12 Quentin George

    ...the divine grace of Hubal the Moon God, still looking after his followers centuries after they dumped him for a deity they stole off Jews.

    Considering how so many of his contemporaries were ruthless and unforgiving, he’s been remarkably understanding.

    ;^)

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 13 at 05:26 AM • permalink

  16. Reminds me of a sketch from Not The 9 O’clock News.

    Girl’s boyfriend was announcing his intentions to his girlfriend’s parents.  “How are you planning to support yourself?” asked the father.  “Oh, probably with my elbows in the usual fashion,” answered the boyfriend…

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 01 13 at 05:29 AM • permalink

  17. I get it, the rock they worship makes them magnetically attracted to livestock and a life of paedophilia?

    Explains a few things then

    MarkL
    canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 01 13 at 06:49 AM • permalink

  18. Here’s another good one about infinite short wave radiation, as identified by Neil Armstrong, emanating from Mecca, extending beyond Mars, connecting the earthly Ka’ba to the celestial Ka’ba. This is a fact. It is scientifically proven. It is truth. There are studies. They published studies on this. Because it is a fact. Forgive me I’m in a fugue state. Mary had a little lamb it’s fleece was white as snow…

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 01 13 at 08:03 AM • permalink

  19. And I challenge anyone to watch those MEMRI clips without shaking their heads.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 01 13 at 08:29 AM • permalink

  20. Is magnetism now najis too, like kafirs?

    Posted by Mike_W on 2007 01 13 at 09:04 AM • permalink

  21. A hole in the magnetosphere at Ka’ba is converted to short-wave radiation?

    They’d better harness this magical new energy source.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 13 at 10:04 AM • permalink

  22. In the British Museum there are three pieces of the black stone [from the Ka’ba] …and they said that this rock didn’t come from our solar system.

    I knew Mohammed got it all wrong.  Allah didn’t send down the Ka’ba to convert the Muslims, he was throwing rocks at them.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 13 at 10:43 AM • permalink

  23. Energy vortices enabling miraculous walking are not restricted to Mecca. With my own eyes I have seen elderly crippled people casting aside crutches and wheelchairs and walking with great strength, having been healed in a wonderful way by a parking space with magical properties and a blue parking sticker.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 01 13 at 10:48 AM • permalink

  24. Is anyone able to connect to the National Research Centre of Egypt where this fellow is said to be employed?

    Posted by SteveGW on 2007 01 13 at 11:15 AM • permalink

  25. #24 no - the link just times out.  probably because the dung beetle powered fan cooling their web server has jammed

    Posted by KK on 2007 01 13 at 12:13 PM • permalink

  26. A hole in the magnetosphere at Ka’ba is converted to short-wave radiation?

    Any idea how well this handles fusion reactions?  Especially very short, intense ones?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 13 at 12:25 PM • permalink

  27. #19 Dminor

    And I challenge anyone to watch those MEMRI clips without shaking their heads.

    My usual reaction to MEMRI video clips is “stunned disbelief”.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 13 at 01:03 PM • permalink

  28. The middle east has the magical magnetic energy!  This means we get the oil, right?

    Posted by Matt in Denver on 2007 01 13 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  29. Also, the stampedes have a good explanation now.  Everyone there has so much energy that they just can’t control it, it’s like giving a bunch of 16 year olds F1 cars, it’s only a matter of time before they bang into something.

    And I thought it was lame Saudi crowd control.  I stand corrected, apparently.

    Posted by Matt in Denver on 2007 01 13 at 01:12 PM • permalink

  30. #18, it’s an article of faith in Islam that Neil Armstrong converted to Islam after returning from the moon because he heard the cal to prayer up there.  But the Zionist Crusader US government has suppressed this fact.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 01 13 at 01:17 PM • permalink

  31. I take it that Qibla compasses must be a conspiracy to trick Muslims into praying in the wrong direction.

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 01 13 at 01:54 PM • permalink

  32. #31, Probably not, but we could always start that rumor.  They love conspiracy theories.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 13 at 05:19 PM • permalink

  33. No magnetic force in Mecca, eh?  Wow! 

    Funny, the USGS says otherwise (PDF file, zoom into the Middle East).  Of course, that chart is from 2000…...maybe a miracle took place since then.  Yeah, that’s it!

    (FYI, all youse science geeks, here are other magnetic charts.  Or you can calculate your local magnetic declination here.  Just some cool stuff!!!)

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 01 13 at 06:08 PM • permalink

  34. #33 -

    Very cool.  I have no idea what magnetic declination is, of course, but it’s still quite cool.

    Is 12° 58’ E changing by 0° 5’ W/year good?  Or should I avoid starting any new trilogies?

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 01 13 at 07:59 PM • permalink

  35. ...and you are filled with energy, because you are in a place in which there is no magnetic force.

    How do the mullahs make their fatwahs stay on the fridge?

    Posted by Craig Mc on 2007 01 13 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  36. The thing I liked best about it is when the interviewer and the “Dr.” talked about how time should be measured from the latitude of Mecca and not that of Greenwich.  Hello?  You are talking about longitude, not latitude here.  The two are 90 degrees from each other.  What is this guy’s Doctorate in, Post-modern Literary Studies?

    “Interviewer: Before the break, we talked to Dr. Abd Al-Baset about the centrality of Mecca, and about the importance of measuring time according to the latitude of Mecca, and not according to the latitude of Greenwich… Why is it?

    “Abd Al-Baset Al-Sayyid: It has been proven that there is a certain discrepancy if we calculate it according to Greenwich. This discrepancy has been estimated as 8.5 minutes between the northern and southern hemispheres.”

    I’ll bet these “scientific discoveries” were made by the same people who determined that women’s hair emits lascivious radiation that drives men wild with lust, thereby causing them to rape those women with uncovered hair (“uncovered catmeat” seems to be the technical term in the Muslim Religious Sciences, as we know from Sheikh Al-Hillbilly).

    #1 Saltydog
    “It is dangerous for such an ignorant people to have technology.”

    Truer words were never spoken.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 01 13 at 10:29 PM • permalink

  37. That’s wonderful news, Tim. Will it also restore one’s penis that has been stolen by djinn over one’s cell phone?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 13 at 10:39 PM • permalink

  38. Methinks they constructed their measuring equipment with Meccano.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 13 at 10:40 PM • permalink

  39. #35 Craig Mc

    How do the mullahs make their fatwahs stay on the fridge?

    Refrigerator magnets are haraam.

    #36 Michael Lonie

    The thing I liked best about it is when the interviewer and the “Dr.” talked about how time should be measured from the latitude of Mecca and not that of Greenwich.  Hello?  You are talking about longitude, not latitude here.  The two are 90 degrees from each other.  What is this guy’s Doctorate in, Post-modern Literary Studies?

    Despite the fact that the rest of his “science” is utter hogwash, I’m willing to give the good Doctor the benefit of the doubt on that one, and assume a translation error.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 13 at 11:11 PM • permalink

  40. “Abd Al-Baset Al-Sayyid: It has been proven that there is a certain discrepancy if we calculate it according to Greenwich. This discrepancy has been estimated as 8.5 minutes between the northern and southern hemispheres.”

    A day trader with properly located terminals could become rich beyond dreams of avarice.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 01 14 at 12:24 AM • permalink

  41. Science and Islam, together at last!. (Hat tip to The Simpsons).

    Posted by Daniel San on 2007 01 14 at 01:26 AM • permalink

  42. Hmmmm.

    Someone needs to contact this guy pronto.

    They need someone of his caliber at Duke University.

    Posted by memomachine on 2007 01 14 at 02:22 AM • permalink

  43. A new field strength measurement: Mecca Watts?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 14 at 02:57 AM • permalink

  44. #43 LOL.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 14 at 03:14 AM • permalink

  45. How many dolts in a mecca-watt, egg?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 14 at 03:15 AM • permalink

  46. #45
    I’m not up on those current events, sorry.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 14 at 03:28 AM • permalink

  47. No need to get charged up about it.

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2007 01 14 at 06:27 AM • permalink

  48. As long as our Muslim readers weren’t shocked, or you’d have to worry about battery against your person, egg.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 14 at 12:07 PM • permalink

  49. Very cool.  I have no idea what magnetic declination is, of course, but it’s still quite cool.

    Behold, Achillea, magnetic declination defined!!!!!  Doubtless this is TMI*, but I offer it nonetheless.

    Of course, I’m certain the fact that the magnetic declination at Mecca is low (2° 45’ E changing by 0° 3’ E/year) is used to justify the place as “magnetic free”.

    ==============================

    *: Too Much Information

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 01 14 at 04:27 PM • permalink

  50. #48
    I’ve heard they’re a very insular society.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 14 at 09:14 PM • permalink

  51. #47
    Resistance is fertile?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 14 at 09:18 PM • permalink

  52. #49
    Of course, the Earth’s ‘North’ magnetic pole is really the ‘South’ pole, if it were considered a bar magnet ... otherwise, the North end of needle compasses would be repelled ... it’s all relative, as someone used to say ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 14 at 09:25 PM • permalink

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