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OPEN OSCARS THREAD
Will the Goracle win? Well, duh. Meanwhile, comment registration is now open. Join our cheerful, yet bloodthirsty and warlusting, community. Be aware, however:
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• Many longtime commenters here are masters of the commentary arts. Newbies are encouraged to learn by example.
UPDATE. You must also be funny.
Another thing, noobs - you need to contact andycanuck about PACO Industries Frequent Buyer Program. I think he only needs to recruit three more, uh, “associates” and he gets upgraded to an AMC Pacer.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 02 25 at 01:13 PM • permalinkAnd on the subject of the AMC Pacer, I worked for American Motors (in Brampton Ontario) when they were still building the Pacer and when they were taken over by Renault.
American automotive engineering (and labour practices) combined with French management practices. A sure-fire recipe for disaster.
Hmmm.
And remember; initiations with cricket paddles is just a rumor.
Just don’t forget the password:
“Thank you sir and may I have another!”
Just be sure to repeat that many many times and you’ll be ok. Sort of.
Posted by memomachine on 2007 02 25 at 01:35 PM • permalinkI cry foul! How come nobody told me about this when I became a noob three months ago? Oh, wait…
Posted by ElectronPower on 2007 02 25 at 01:47 PM • permalinkMany longtime commenters here are masters of the commentary arts. Newbies are encouraged to learn by example.
Some helpful hints:
1. Listen carefully to Andrea, less you want carry the Zulu Spear in an uncomfortable location.
2. Wronwright is merely in charge of the motor pool, regardless of what he says.
3. The Tardis is not available for noobs. Sorry, but you must prove yourself worthy, and then complete formal training.
4. Do not shoot farouk, achmed, and ali akbar. They’re terrorists, but loveable ones.
5. If in doubt, refer to #1
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 25 at 01:53 PM • permalinkHere’s the hour-by-hour forecast for the 90028 zip code. Hope Al is bringing a jacket! But then he’s used to it by now.
Posted by Jim Treacher on 2007 02 25 at 02:01 PM • permalinkOscars, tonite? No effin way. Ya got Rome on HBO, and Galactica on SciFi (which, btw, is much more believable than Algore)
I want to be Titus Pullo!!!
Posted by Wind Rider on 2007 02 25 at 02:16 PM • permalinkMichael Moore presenting would be the crowning touch.
Posted by Tai Chi Wawa on 2007 02 25 at 03:17 PM • permalinkThat Wash-Post article comes off as parody.
The sub-head; Oscar Hopeful May Be America’s Coolest Ex-Vice President Ever…
Blechh!!! I’m not even sure they were going for the pun.
And it only gets worse from there.
And all the little remora that cluster around him, the Davids, Miss Diaz, Dicraprio (he was convincing as a retarded person in Gilbert Grape at least) and so on.
I’m starting to understand better, why until recently, actors were regarded with contempt, just a notch above whores.
At least prostitutes dont scheme covertly for redistribution programs.
Looking for the Perfect Award Ceremony Ovation? Well, then let PACO™ write your acceptance speech to the plebes for you. Anti-Bushisms, condescending remarks about “fly-over” country, showing how only you can save the planet and other sure-to-please liberal talking points—PACO™ has it all covered to get you admiring reviews in papers as far apart as the Los Angeles Times and the Washington Post: PACO, where you know best because you are better than everyone else. (Woo-hoo! I can almost smell that new-car smell already.)
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 25 at 03:39 PM • permalinkNoob rules:
1. Keep out of the italics jar until,,, well, until wronwright, paco or maybe ElCid says its OK.
2. Don’t piss off Texas Bob.
3. Always laugh at Mr. Bingley’s pithy remarks even if you don’t understand them.
4. Try trolling. Just once. We dare you.
5. Don’t ask what a gorbot is. That’s you kiss of death.
6. Just say you like sumerian mead and don’t ask questions.
7. Grovel drooling when Andrea deigns to even recognize your miserable, pointless existence.
8. Never ever have a rule no. 8.
9. Stay away from boldenings. Tim’s on a budget, you know.
10. Try to start a reasonable discussion on why you belive in gerbil worming. We dare you.I am going to go out on a limb here, and predict that Martin Scorsese wins Best Director.
BTW, this is umpteenth year in a row that I haven’t seen any of the best film nominees. Last one I did see was Return of the King. I’d suggest that Hollywood try and make some good movies, but I don’t want Hollywood to do even more to contribute to Goebbel Warmening by making more movies. Any idea just how many tons of carbon each film production makes? (And the chance that the Goregon takes Tinseltown to task for pollution is 0%)
Michael Moore presenting would be the crowning touch.
Not the clowning touch?
Posted by Richard Cranium on 2007 02 25 at 04:08 PM • permalinkHmmm: “... his 90-minute Apple Keynote lecture ...”
Climate Change News: Keynote greener than PowerPoint!
Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 02 25 at 04:30 PM • permalinkRemember the schoolgirl essay in Tom Sawyer which “wound up with a sermon so destructive of all hope to non-Presbyterians that it took the first prize”? Change “non-Presbyterians” to “non-liberals” and you’ve pretty much got the documentary Oscar.
Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2007 02 25 at 04:33 PM • permalinkOscar Alternative Alert!
Turn to the History Channel for the “Dog Fight” marathon, recreating astounding aerial dogfights from back in the day.
Most have interviews with our aces—the geezers will astound you, like the F86 pilot who actually pushed his wingman 200 miles out of No. Korea when he ran out of gas.
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 02 25 at 05:03 PM • permalinkIf Gorebot wins tonight his acceptance speech will burn up all the carbon credits in existence. Richard Attenborough’s rambling drone after he won for Gandhi will seem brief and concise by comparison.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 02 25 at 05:06 PM • permalinkThis whole “idiocy gets you banned” thing sounds to me like dog-whistling to get me kicked out..
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 25 at 05:10 PM • permalinkEU Faux Pas in the USA
2 of 7.
So, if as a European you find yourself in the U.S.A., DO NOT:
1. Assume that your typically understated demeanor with be recognized and admired by your American colleagues.
It won’t…..
3. Try to exaggerate an overseas experience for dramatic effect. Or, for that matter, underestimate the intelligence of your American companion.
Don’t. There are two reasons for this. Reason one is that however brash they might come off at first, Americans are incredibly brilliant bull-shit detectors…..
#40. Nah, you’re one of the Blair Attack Dogs, as I’ve heard us called.
Apparently he links and we rampage.
I think it’s about time we got ourselves some tshirts. IF we cand esign them and get them up on cafepress, then maybe Tim can get a bit more money for the boldering budget. Maybe even some strikethroughs.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 02 25 at 05:31 PM • permalinkOscars-Schmoscars.
Who wants to waste time watching that
Hollyweird BJ and circle jerk™drivel?I’d rather do something more productive with my time.
Watching oil paint dry certainly comes to mind.
Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2007 02 25 at 05:34 PM • permalinkAs for the oscars, well, I last went to the cinema in december 2005, so it’s fairly safe to say I’m clueless about this year’s field.
A good mate of mine (yes, I do actually know her personally) has her predictions over at oscarwatch.com so feel free to agree or disagree with her.
BTW, is it just me or does algore look really smarmy in the photo in Tim’s link?
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 02 25 at 05:34 PM • permalinkAs of last count, twenty-five new members have signed up. Go us!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 02 25 at 05:37 PM • permalinkNo trolls yet, but I just need to warm up a bit…
You people with other ideas make me sick. Just where do you get off, hmmm?
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 25 at 05:42 PM • permalink#49 El Cid, I’m picturing a caricature of Tim holding a jar slightly open with all these letters escaping.
With the caption: Who Let The Bolds Out?
On the front.
On the back, we have the url for timblair.net and something like: Tim Blair’s Attack Dogs.
Or: When Leftards Attack, Send In The Dogs.
That’s just off the top of my head, anyway. Any other suggestions more than welcome.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 02 25 at 05:50 PM • permalink#37 If it came to a choice, I’d rather watch dog fight, Chihuahua vs Bichon Frise than the Oscars.
#45 If we’re all attack dogs now, do I still have to train the Black Attack possums? They eat owls, and those spotted ones they really like are getting hard to find ever since Piquant Alternative Catering Onsite franchises opened.
#48 Al Gore has looked as bloated and greasy as an apple fritter ever since he lost the election. It takes more than just fat to get a face like that in such a short time. I wonder what medication he’s on.
This is a fun site, full of songs, wit and evil, evil snark. I really enjoy it. BwahAHahaAHahHAHAHAHAAA!
As of last count, twenty-five new members have signed up. Go us!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator26 ...
I have been waiting, biting my tongue, for registrations to re-open.
I feel I have come to know a few of the regular users.
So, although you do not know me, hello people!
on topic:
The only oscars action I want to see is when Penelope Cruz and Nicole Kidman ambush little Tom out back and shove oscar where he so richly deserves.
54 Nilknarf Arbed
I’m picturing a caricature of Tim holding a jar slightly open with all these letters escaping.
With the caption: Who Let The Bolds Out?
Good, good….but we must have Andrea on the front, as well…GLARING, holding her wronwright beating stick.
Another good punchy line is, you can’t handle the truth. Only problem is, that line leads back to one of those fake people.
I understand he did bang Margaret Trudeau, while she was still married to Pepé Le Pew, La ruine du Canada.
I’ll tell you what gets to me about Gore, Cameron Diaz was next to him, watching him with adoring eyes. I’m sure that she would have gone down on him in a heartbeat, and I am equally sure that he would turn her down. The man is sick, sick.
As for the Oscars, I care about them about as much as I do for the Nobel Prize for Literature, “which ethnic group’s politically correct author and which sex is in line to win this year?, Transgendered Native American? Oh yes, of course.”
If somebody tells me a movie won an oscar in the ‘50s or ‘60s, or even the ‘70s, I will watch it, now, the oscars are of as much interest to me as Jennifer Aniston’s love life.
I think the ratings will be very telling. You can permalink this comment and rub my nose in it if they do well, I am not expecting it though.
Welcome new commenters! Remember you are here to;
1. Stifle dissent.
2. Monger for more and greater wars.
3. Send compassion to the dustbin of history.
4. Advance the VRWC.
5. Laugh cruelly at social injustice.
6. Laugh cruelly at Margo Kingston.
7. When the adminimistress, Andrea is around, act busy and put the serve back into conservative.Together, our efforts will be so powerful we will bring an end to reality TV shows. Especially those featuring vaccuous pampered celebrities (is there any other kind?).
“The degree to which you believe global warming is causing major hurricanes is inversely proportional to your knowledge about these storms”
Dr. William Gray, the leading Hurricane expert in the U.S., talking about Al Gore.
From the Politically Incorrect Guide to Global Warming.
Posted by pommygranate on 2007 02 25 at 06:14 PM • permalinkI just need one more comment for my 150.
Is there a loyalty program round here?
Posted by pommygranate on 2007 02 25 at 06:15 PM • permalinkEl Cid,
I read that piece of trip on European faux pas in America. The guy hasn’t a clue about America, beyond the fact that he was able to bring himself to condescend to admit that we are not all inbred morons.However, this line makes him a total tool in my book.
DO NOT: Seize every point an American colleague is saying in a debate by analyzing and deconstructing his/her sentence structure word-by-word and pointing out the flaws in his/her logic. Your apparent logical brilliance will not be appreciated, but most of all, it won’t be understood. You will in fact come off looking stupid.
I would like to meet my first European who uses relentless logic, what a breath of fresh air that person would be.
“Master of the commentary arts” ? Why, thank you Tim. Awfully nice of you to say that.
Posted by Spectre765 on 2007 02 25 at 06:20 PM • permalinkExit 201 for me. Al doesn’t use my exit, only my Zip code.
Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 02 25 at 06:32 PM • permalinkSpecking of the Goracle:
As I was reading various blogs, I read the following very interesting comment following this link.
“As Gore has said many times, he offsets all his carbon expenditures. He’s carbon neutral, more than can be said for most of you. “
Now as many know what he is talking about are “carbon” commodities (carbon dioxide). Under Kyoto every country (save a few well known exceptions) has a carbon allowance. If your industry makes carbon over your country’s allowance you are supposed to buy carbon from a county that is below its allowance. The idea is that the demand would outrun supply, thereby making carbon commodities and futures dear. Well a funny thing happened on the way to the commodities market. Carbon crashed. Hard. Almost none of the industrial countries are paying into the scheme. This makes demand very low and supply is quite high.
In today’s market I could make my household carbon neutral for about six bucks (high fives all around). Does this mean that some industry somewhere will alter its behavior to produce less carbon? Nope, it means that some country like Botswana gets chump change for the sale (brokers in a crashed market tend to make most of the money that changes hands). Perhaps I could go to a country like Sudan, buy their carbon and get them to shut down a carbon producing units (we call them villages).
Now Al Gore is producing millions of metric tons of carbon a year from flying privately all over the place. He goes to the carbon market, pays the wergild, and gets to claim himself carbon neutral. The world for his travels has millions of tons of carbon more than it would otherwise. Period. Tonight Al gore will travel to the land of carbon over indulgers to no doubt receive an Oscar. And all will feel so good about themselves because they care.this link
I’ve never a felt a Wal*Mart Greeter.
Can you describe the texture in 25 words or less?Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 02 25 at 06:47 PM • permalinkGreetings, good people! I’m a longtime lurker finally stumbling into the light - glad to be here. As I would like to apply for trainee RWDB Minion status, here are my credentials:
- I’ve managed to live in the People’s Republic of Taxachusetts my entire life without succumbing to the ever-present urge to pound a lefty into pulp. Not that I wouldn’t like to do so, mind you - it’s just that the attendant paperwork hasn’t been worth it…yet.
- I speak fluent eco-moonbat, having attended two public liberal arts colleges while obtaining a couple of degrees in biology.
- All of my vehicles are Gaia-unfriendly 4X4s.- I love Australia - I visited Oz several years ago, and can’t wait to go back.
On-topic: it’s a pity that Mikey Moore doesn’t have another idiotic anti-war schlockumentary up against the Goracle’s magnum opus. I’d like to watch the Hollyweird heads explode from the mental strain caused by having to decide whether gerbil warbling or Bush-hating is the most important issue of the day.
Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 02 25 at 07:15 PM • permalinkI’ve never a felt a Wal*Mart Greeter.
Can you describe the texture in 25 words or less?Wrinklie?
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2007 02 25 at 07:15 PM • permalink75, 81 - Well, thanks for both of them guys.
Since neither of you went for adjectives like ‘nubile’ or ‘passionate’ I figure I haven’t missed much.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 02 25 at 07:18 PM • permalinkOkay, so thanks to the esteemed personages of the Academy, Mr Goreball is likely to win.
Time for Gore bingo.
Anyone prepared to offer some phrases that he is likely to put into his speech?
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 25 at 07:26 PM • permalinkLets see: Oscars or Rome or Battlestar?
d. None of the above.
When my RWDB quals are lapsing and there’s nothing but pap on the tube, I like to pop in “Sand Pebbles” and watch McQueen and mates booze, fight, and whore around China while bashing recalcitrant Third World heads! Now that’s entertainment.
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2007 02 25 at 07:26 PM • permalinkGosh, are the Oscars on tonight? Who knew? “Rome” and “Battlestar” (even though it’s a depressing wallow most of the time) for me, then.
“Rome” and “Dresden Files”, with the Dogfight marathon leading up to them.
I’m still undecided about “Dresden Files”. The books are great; the TV series is, so far, mediocre. Entertaining, but doesn’t appear to have much depth. Which sucks, because the books certainly do.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 25 at 07:34 PM • permalinkAnother newbie here, I’m an occasional poster on LGF where similar etiquette exists, thanks for the tips though.
Posted by Captain Sensible on 2007 02 25 at 07:35 PM • permalinkWatching oil paint dry certainly comes to mind.
I was planning to polyurethane some doors tonight. Does that count? ;-P
#57, why waste Penelope and Nicole on Tom Cruise??!!?!?!!?!?? Put Tom and Algore in the same room, and we’ll see who can out-jabber whom! In the meantime, just have Nicole and Penelope to stop by my house. I’d like their opinion of my “painting”....
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 25 at 07:36 PM • permalinkMM
Anyone prepared to offer some phrases that he is likely to put into his speech?
Under the B…19.
SC
Since neither of you went for adjectives like ‘nubile’ or ‘passionate’ I figure I haven’t missed much.
You are a little devil. As mentioned in the past, I ever make it to OZ…we gonna’ be startin’ some trouble, we are.
Penguin
One Pink Russian, up.
I forgot my old username - one day tried about six variations and gave up.
So today I went to register again. The first username I tried was un-available - because it was me! Got the password re-sent and I’m back in.
Getting old sucks ... now what was it I was going to comment about ? Ah, no wait ... I’ll be back when I can remember stuff
::exit mumbling::
Rob Crawford—it’s an employment test. If you can foul up something as readable and entertaining as The Dresden Files novels, you get to write conservative political humor for Fox News…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 25 at 08:06 PM • permalinkHello all,
Totally off topic question, and just a smidge stupid. If I’m in NZ and the blog is for an Aus journalist, why is the date set to yesterday the 25th? Does it have something to do w/ Andrea being in the US?Posted by TattooedIntellectual on 2007 02 25 at 08:06 PM • permalinkRob Crawford—it’s an employment test. If you can foul up something as readable and entertaining as The Dresden Files novels, you get to write conservative political humor for Fox News…
Could be. I’m hoping they’re just getting a slow start.
The absence of Michael is discouraging, though. And Murphy just doesn’t look right.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 25 at 08:15 PM • permalink#102 aaron
Thank you, looks much better now :)
Posted by TattooedIntellectual on 2007 02 25 at 08:17 PM • permalinkJust got this in an email, from Newsmax.
CNN speculated on Friday that if Al Gore has a stealth campaign to make a 2008 bid for President, he may announce it at the Academy Awards when he expects to win an Oscar for his documentary an “Inconvenient Truth.”
Whether Gore will make such a move — it is doubtful — it is clear that the Oscars and Hollywood has an incredible political bias. This bias is now exemplified in propagandistic documentaries like Gore’s movie.
Al’s too wooden and stiff to use this line, but I bet one of the celebrity presenters (female) will say something like:
“Nothing’s more important than the children… because, when you think about it, they’re our future!”
Gag, retch…
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 02 25 at 08:19 PM • permalinkRome is pretty fine and Battlestar even better, but neither is as good as The Wire.
Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2007 02 25 at 08:22 PM • permalink#62
5. Laugh cruelly at social injustice.
6. Laugh cruelly at Margo Kingston.Aren’t you repeating yourself? Don’t care much for the Oscars because I don’t care much for industries judging themselves. Bit like the Walkleys in that they are absolutely meaningless, with decisions made for reasons other than the quality of the film or the performances of the actors. But now I hear Al Gore is in the running for an Oscar. Which category? Best actor? Best animated feature? Best costume design? Best prediction of an apocalypse in a feature film?
“I’m Al Gore, and I approve this message.”
I wonder if the glitterati are receiving complimentary carbon credits in their gift bags this year.
Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 02 25 at 08:24 PM • permalinkWell I’m going to keep a reserved even sceptical bearing about all these recent registrations. Somewhere between the cautious and the cynical.
The last time I nice to a noob he turned out to be the double sockpuppet of some creepy lunatic running a blog about avian flu disasters and 9/11 conspiracies.
“It is imperative we act now for the sake of our children, our children’s children, and our children’s children’s children’s children. Oh fuck, did I miss a generation?”
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 25 at 08:36 PM • permalinkNo Oscars for this little puppy tonite. No way.
I’ll be running the tape again of the ABC’s Tally Room coverage of the 2004 election.
Red Kerry and Maxine McHogg comparing.And as the story unfolds, it starts out a light hearted little bit of fluff that quickly subsided into melodrama and finally, tragedy…. well, for the compares anyway!
And in the the Category of Bennelong: The Winner is: John Howard. (“Excuse me Mrs. McHogg stop sucking that lemon on national TV….”)
And the Best Party Oscar goes to: The Liberal Party and Nationals led by none other than John Howard. (“Kerry, don’t don’t do it, put the rusty razor blade down….”)
Ah a Golden Classic all round. Always worth a re-run.
And the Golden Rasberry goes to: (shuffle, shuffle, bated breath), Mark Latham!!
Yea!
After trying on lots and lots of snarky versions of “Global Warming”, I’ve decided to settle permanently on “Goebbels Warning.” I think it fits.
As far as I can tell from a quick Google, this is original. Any violation of copyright must be paid for with carbon credits, so that I may laugh in the face of envirotards who object to me making charcoal bonfires in my backyard just for the hell of it. Much as I currently tie them in knots by making biodiesel fuel from rendered harp seals.
I’ve always found it a good guide for film selection that if it’s received a gong, avoid like aluminium siding salespeople.
There are a few exceptions, but in recent years it’s a pretty good guarantee of fatuous socio-political statements, hammy acting with lots of serious statements to camera and a required suspension of disbelief that would spring a fleet of monster trucks. And that’s just the cartoons (Harvey Krumpet, peee-yewww).
Slightly O/T, and a total shock- disbelief abounds! Former ABC hack and high profile* celeb gets pre-selected for the ALP! Well it is a shock- she didn’t get parachuted into a safe seat- I’d say the faceless men of the NSW ALP aren’t too keen on Mrs Hogg actually getting into parliament. I’d say she’s got about as much chance of unseating the PM as Undercover Mosque has of beating out the Goracle for best doco, and it’s not nominated.
The look on her kisser when she gets beaten like a redheaded stepchild should be even better than the pursed lip pout on her puss in the tallyroom last time.
*High profile among the approx 3% of the population who watch the ABC, lower still who can be arsed waiting up for Lateline on a Friday night, especially since the Glasshouse was arseholed. Which means her profile is about as big as a bloke from Bilinudgel who does his own ads for his caravan lot on late night regional TV.
I’d be signing on at Centrelink now just in case, Hoggie.
#113 Blue State Sil
I wonder if the glitterati are receiving complimentary carbon credits in their gift bags this year.
Carbon credits as Oscar swag. I love it.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 02 25 at 09:26 PM • permalinkThere are rules, which essentially amount to: idiocy gets you banned.
Luckily, I’ve got a good union rep.
To the newbies, you’ll find your first comment is a lot like losing your virginity. There’s trembling anticipation. A fair bit of fumbling. Suddenly it’s over and you hope that no one mocks you. Only real difference for me though, was that I didn’t get any laughs with my first comment here.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 25 at 09:27 PM • permalinkChris Connelly. Looks like a youngish Gorebot.
Oh yeah - Goord morning Ausies!! Australia rocks. Howard iz tha man!
Posted by sbvft contributor on 2007 02 25 at 09:29 PM • permalinkAt a southern university orientation week thing.
Student Activist to My Youngest (Future Oscar Hopeful): “Will you sign this petition calling for freedom for David Hicks?”
MY (FOH): “He changed his name to a Muslim one. Shouldn’t you be using that?”
SA: ” “
Hah!
Meanwhile, the youngest’s aunt and uncle (film biz people and long-time Oscar party givers) now have an infant child who is the complete and utter delight of their lives. When asked if they’re putting on an Oscar party this year the aunt said, “When’s it on?”
Nothing like having children to help you get your priorities straight.
Another suggestion for Gore Bingo:
“This isn’t about Al Gore…”
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 25 at 09:42 PM • permalinkThe Gorebot looks like he’s been ingesting too much CO2.
Posted by sbvft contributor on 2007 02 25 at 09:43 PM • permalink#119, Dave S.,
“Goebbels Warning.”
Hmmm. Well, I agree that “warning” is better than “warming”. However I do think my “gloebbels” is better than your “goebbels”.
We woke to seven inches of accumulated global warming this morning, so everyone got out the snowblowers. A lovely tableau: at least a dozen growling, smoking machines chewing at the defenseless snow, hurling Gaia’s frozen ichor into the air. No guilt! Because it’s fun and manly to push whirring metal blades into the trackless wilderness and carve out a small piece of civilized sidewalk; because two-stroke engine exhaust smells good on a crisp winter morning, dammit, and because it beats having your heart explode from picking up 37 pounds of killer snow with your shovel. The menfolk were happy this morning.
On the other hand, judging from their lawn signs, most of the neighbors vote for legislators whose party will probably propose a snowblower ban in a few years.
Not watching the Oscars. It’s an Easter service for people who worship celebrity, complete with Joan Rivers rising from the dead.
Clint Eastwood is a dope. Tryig to humanize the genocidal Japanese war machine, the architects of the Bataan Deat March and the rape of Nanking. Screw him.
Posted by sbvft contributor on 2007 02 25 at 10:08 PM • permalinkNo fair! Lileks is a ringer!
C’mon, give us amateurs a chance, please?
Posted by Bill Peschel on 2007 02 25 at 10:09 PM • permalinkThe Oscars is a special event. It’s the one night of the year they let the whores hangout inside the theatre.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 25 at 10:09 PM • permalinkDave S,
My lousy spelling no doubt google cloaked my comment
By the way newbies, Dave S is author of
the sentence of the year. No pressure though.I’ve been hanging around a bit, but I don’t comment much, so I guess I’m still a newbie. *waves* Don’t kill me, please.
Yikes. Gore’s at the Oscars? How very appropriate; he’s been the Dems’ emasculated golden boy for a long time now.
And this had to be the evening I ate a rice cake, too. I feel tainted! Better go make an offering of a few virginal baby seals to the Dark Lord Rove, to cleanse myself of the stench of virtue. Anybody got a club and a flensing knife?
Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 02 25 at 10:23 PM • permalinkI wonder if the glitterati are receiving complimentary carbon credits in their gift bags this year.
Posted by Blue State Sil (And Spiny Norman)Yes, they’re called “diamonds”.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 25 at 10:24 PM • permalinkHello all,
Totally off topic question, and just a smidge stupid. If I’m in NZ and the blog is for an Aus journalist, why is the date set to yesterday the 25th? Does it have something to do w/ Andrea being in the US?TatooedIntellectual, click on the “Your Account” link at the bottom of this page, and then click on “Localization Settings”. You can select the time zone you want to display there; just be sure to hit “UPDATE”. I believe that this blog defaults to the eastern Australia time zone, for some odd reason.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 25 at 10:40 PM • permalinkClint Eastwood is a dope. Tryig to humanize the genocidal Japanese war machine, the architects of the Bataan Deat March and the rape of Nanking. Screw him.
Actually, that’s exactly why Disneyworld Tokyo failed. It wasn’t that the Japanese objected to locally-themed rides like The Pirates on Nanking and The Bataan Nature Walk, they just wouldn’t admit they’d actually been on the rides…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 25 at 10:47 PM • permalinkI understand the machine-gun-the-nurses gallery was a hit though.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 25 at 11:14 PM • permalink#153 - I found commenting alone provided fewer heckles, but far less enjoyment.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 25 at 11:14 PM • permalinkIt has its good points. I can watch a Law & Order rerun and be surprised at how it turns out.
Usually with a moralising and sanctimonious lecture from a leftist turd D.A.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 25 at 11:16 PM • permalinkJust have a look at the expression on Millers face after winning his Oscar. Is that smug satisfaction or is someone giving him a blowjob off camera?
Damn, who let Lileks in here? That’s raising the bar so high that I just smacked my forehead.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 02 25 at 11:31 PM • permalink#54 I’m picturing a caricature of Tim holding a jar slightly open with all these letters escaping.
With the caption: Who Let The Bolds Out?
On the front.
On the back, we have the url for timblair.net and something like: Tim Blair’s Attack Dogs.
Or: When Leftards Attack, Send In The Dogs.
#49 I’m a Blairite OR I’m a Blairight
#58 but we must have Andrea on the front, as well…GLARING, holding her wronwright beating stick.
“You must also be funny.”
This is going to be one busy T-shirt.
Good thing most of us are fat Americans.Now let’s see ...
#159, kae, right on sister!
No fair adding the proviso after the fact that we have to be funny, Blair! Running the Tardis all over history, supplying you with nonstop mead, keeping the black helicopters polished so Karl won’t call up and complain, and taking wronwright out for walks in all weather isn’t enough for you?
What I learned (and am still learning, earnest student that I am) here at the blair place:
what happens at timblair STAYS at timblair, on pain of PACO.
Posted by carpefraise on 2007 02 25 at 11:44 PM • permalinkFlipping channels while waiting for my torrent of ‘Top Gear’ to download, I came across the Awards and paused to watch for a minute. They introduced Melissa Etheridge who began playing a song which was apparently in “An Inconvenient Truth” and therefore nominated as Greatest Song Ever or something. On the big screen behind her and the band, pithy messages exhorting us to join the Church of Al were being displayed. One encouraged everyone that they can “... reduce their carbon emissions to zero.” I laughed at the inanity and continued my channel-flipping. Yes, I could reduce my emissions to zero - if I stopped breathing.
Idiots.
Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 02 25 at 11:45 PM • permalinkThe SMH Oscars site quotes Al Gore as saying:
“It’s not a political issue, it’s a moral issue”.
Credit to #89 who I think was close enough for a Bingo with “This shouldn’t be an issue of left or right”.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 26 at 12:14 AM • permalinkGeezuz…Can’t touch the scotch.
Then I get accused of being Al’d.
I guess, Fat Albert has been to East Tennessee.
He may have visited Knoxville, but the boy ain’t been in these parts. (been here since 1990) I’m damn near in the National Park, about 1-200 yards from its boundary.
Alberto Gonzales came to Gatlinburg though, went to hear him speak.
ErnieG—Law and Order: all the crime in NYC is committed by racist white males who are either fanatical Xtians, members of the Bush Administration, or racist white male fanatical Xtian members of the Bush Administration. I’ve just saved you three nights of TV watching per week.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 26 at 12:17 AM • permalink#166
“I thought she was the administrix”
Per Black’s Law Dictionary, it “Administratrix”, but no amount of pleadings will help you if you make her cross.
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 02 26 at 12:18 AM • permalinkWas Gore visibly sweating under the effort of hauling his massively bloated carbon-sequestering carcass up the steps to accept his joke of an award for his travesty of lame propaganda?
Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 02 26 at 12:19 AM • permalinkIn time, giving an Oscar to Al Gore will be seen as being on the same level as giving a Nobel Peace Prize to that thieving terrorist Arafat.
Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 02 26 at 12:21 AM • permalinkDELIVER US FROM EVIL
Evil Catholics. Check.
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
Gaia-raping First Worlders. Check.
IRAQ IN FRAGMENTS
Incompetent imperialist occupiers. Check.
JESUS CAMP
Scary Christians. Check.
MY COUNTRY, MY COUNTRY
Incompetent imperialist occupiers. Double check.
Well, these nominations all seem to be in order. Catholics, Christians, Americans, the whole Western capitalist industrial world… yes, I think that covers most all the bases. Thank you, Academy voters.
Jack Lacton
In time, giving an Oscar to Al Gore will be seen as being on the same level as giving a Nobel Peace Prize to that thieving terrorist Arafat.
That is for damn sure. I may be wrong, but there was a time, that each of those had some meaning. The Nobel of course, infinitely more so then the Oscar. Not now.
Going to take some industrial strength solvents to clean up after this circle jerk.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 26 at 12:34 AM • permalinkSince I am doing useful (such as filling out VA paperwork, seeing if I fixed an iPod Shuffle for the daughter of a friend of mine, blowing my nose, washing dishes, belching, scratching my arse, etc), I wasn’t watching the Oscars.
So tell me…...did Algore proclaim his intent to run for Prez in 2008? I’m not hearing anyone say that he did, but I’d some positive feedback, just so I can brace myself for the resulting orgy of leftie wanking if he did.
Thank you for watching the Oscars, so I wouldn’t have to.
Not that I would have anyway…..but it’s nice having friends to rely upon.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 26 at 12:38 AM • permalinkre #194—yep, Dave, makes me glad I’m not ashamed of being descended from northern European colonists, complete with Gaia rapers,
incompetentimperialist occupiers, andscaryChristians. No Catholics in the family (that I’m aware of), but I’m cool with that; it appears that we are being stereotyped by the anti-steortyping crowd anyway. We’re all in the Western capitalist industrial world together, no?Yes, thank you so very much, Academy voters. I look forward to the impending press conference, where you will renounce
your US citizenship, and apply for a visa to live in a third world country, so that you might be one with the Oppressed People™. Zimbabwe, perhaps, or maybe Somalia. Or even China, with all that rich, non-Western cultural history![crickets chirping]
Huh? Must be the price of Scotch in Somalia.
Anywho, I do have a question for the other residents of the Western capitalist industrial world: can you shoot straight?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 26 at 12:48 AM • permalinkThanks, aaron_. I knew that Algore was reliving his old presidential campaign days (the guy is huge egotist), but there was speculation that he might announce another run. God knows that there are enough leftards out there who would swoon if Algore sought another chance to use the Presidential Crapper next to the Oval Office.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 26 at 12:51 AM • permalinkWhat will we do the following week?
Conquer the universe. Because we can.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 26 at 12:59 AM • permalinkBTW, Dave, just finished reading the rest of the Garrett thread…..I near busted my gut on some of the comments!!!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 26 at 01:01 AM • permalinkThat would be a change for them wouldn’t it?
As opposed to crapping ON the Oval Office? Yes, it would be a change for them, wouldn’t it?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 26 at 01:02 AM • permalink#136 - Clint Eastwood is a dope. Tryig to humanize the genocidal Japanese war machine, the architects of the Bataan Deat March and the rape of Nanking. Screw him.
I was watching “At the movies” on the ABC last night and whatshisname was reviewing it and he said, “...as we see vividly in quite shocking scenes in which Americans prove to be a ruthless enemy.”
I want to see it just to see the scenes where the Yanks are being ruthless. It might remind a few people of what has to be done to defeat a mob who are ruthless, amoral and more than ready to not only die for the cause, but to take out their women and children first.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 02 26 at 01:04 AM • permalink#136 #212
Anyone who wants to know about the humanity of the Japanese during WWII is welcome to visit the Australian War Memorial to inspect a nurse’s uniform with a bullet hole in it.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 26 at 01:18 AM • permalinkI’m quite amazed that the Japanese PM gets away w/visiting the “memorial” in Nanking every year (I think it’s in Nanking correct me if I’m wrong).
Posted by TattooedIntellectual on 2007 02 26 at 01:25 AM • permalink#213
Inflated past design specs.
LOL!
Matt called him the “new Orson Wells, and not in the good way.”
=^D
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 02 26 at 01:29 AM • permalink#215 Correction
It’s the Yasukuni Shrine and it’s actually located in Tokyo. It was actually built in the 1800s, and WWII was just added to the list.
Posted by TattooedIntellectual on 2007 02 26 at 01:30 AM • permalinkI’m still undecided about “Dresden Files”. The books are great; the TV series is, so far, mediocre. Entertaining, but doesn’t appear to have much depth. Which sucks, because the books certainly do.
Jury’s still out for me on the series. I want to like it, but so far the only thing it has in common with the books is some of the characters’ names and the fact Harry’s a wizard. The books, on the other hand, are fantastic. They’re some of the only ones (along with F. Paul Wilson’s Repairman Jack novels), even a cheapskate like myself will buy new.
Sweet. Glad to finally register. Love Australia. It’s a great little island. Next time I’m in Mexico, plan on taking the ferry across to visit you. Soccer, which you call European Football, is a great sport. Rugby is for little girls. HAVE I VIOLATED EVERY NEWBIE RULE YET?
Jokes aside. Great to be inside.
Phred.
# 183 Margos Maid
Credit to #89 who I think was close enough for a Bingo with, “This shouldn’t be an issue of left or right”...
...shoves three or four ink-stained old ladies with walkers out of his way, and proclaims at the top of his lungs,
“BINGO!!!”
And to think, that was the throw-away.
I’ll take my winnings entirely in carbon-credits.
Which reminds me of a joke…
How do you get 300 fat cows in a barn?
Put a bingo sign on it.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 26 at 02:48 AM • permalinkInfidel Tiger
How do you make 100 grannies to say F*ck at once?
Get another to yell bingo!(I have a lady friend who used to run a bingo hall. That only looks like a joke, she swears by it)
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 02 26 at 03:18 AM • permalinkHi, thought I’d pop in. Has anybody been to the leftwrites.net echo chamber lately?, Will Anderson has put up a real corker:
“Something happened on 11 September 2001 that caused the West to lose its moral bearings in a way that led government machines, and those that work in them, to move a significant way down the path of contempt for individuals. The Nazis went much further down that path, but it is undeniably the same one.”
and
it’s interesting to note the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan is listed as a banned terrorist group by the Australian government. Craig Murray points out in his book that some of the bombings attributed to this and other resistance groups are likely to have been carried out by the Karimov regime.
ahhh, yes the “Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan”, those whacky guys.
Rules. I don’t believe in rules. Rules are inflexible and stifle creativity. And also, they just suck. I prefer guidelines.
And what is all of this bull about no idiocy? If this were true, I would have been banned after my third comment and the fact the LLL was allowed to comment for several weeks proves this is untrue, or at least not enforced.
I have nothing to say about the Academy Awards aside from saying that I haven’t watched them since the early 1980’s. There are no good movies being made anymore. The only good films are old. The talented actors and directors are dead. I believe my interest in anything Hollywood offers came to an end immediately after the unqualified, ill-informed, deluded, egomaniacal cretins that pass themselves off as stars began publicly screeching their political views.
If they’d spend a fraction of this wasted energy on perfecting their craft, perhaps we might see some decent flicks. But I doubt it.Dear Hollywood,
Shut up. Your responsibility is to provide quality entertainment. That is what you are supposed to do. If you want to delve into politics, run for office and leave the film industry forever. I do not care what your views are on global warming, George Bush, drowning polar bears, L. Ron Hubbard, or whale blubber. Shut up and entertain.
Sincerely,
Texas BobPS: Dixie Chicks, this applies to you as well. However, since you are from Dallas, which is technically NOT part of Dixie, I do want to thank you for not calling yourselves Texas Chicks.
I am going with a slight refinement on Janice’s original thought “Gloebbel Warming”. Makes the point, sounds the same, even a leftard couldn’t miss it.
But Janice, I must warn you, the Acacamy Anglais will be after you for this.
New Business Plan:
Get DNC Activist or Bigwig to make movie.
Call it a Documentary.
Win Oscar.Actually… when was the last “Documentary” made by a DNC apparatchik that didn’t win an Oscar?
Thought so.
Next one will probably be on Katrina, and how Bush ordered the bombing of the Levees. If so, you heard it here first.
HAVE I VIOLATED EVERY NEWBIE RULE YET?
phred, if you are still alive, and are able to read this…..no, not yet. But you are on that slippery slope! :-D
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 26 at 10:35 AM • permalinkTo follow some on #227.
The Yojimbo clan usually tunes into that mess very late in the broadcast, it at all. This usually puts us into that montage of actors that have died during the year. How very sad to see all that talent which made those great movies of the 40’s and 50’s going. Don Knotts AND June Allyson! All those great movies with Van Johnson and James Stewart!
#144 Lileks - doffing hat to El Cid, Paco, and all the other geniuses I enjoy here daily.
(wronwright reads the name of El Cid and paco. And nothing else).
Oh yeah, off to a good start there Lileks. Just remember you’re a squib here. Work hard and we might give you your own wash rag to wax Humvees with.
(adopts smug look, sips Sumerian mead)
Posted by wronwright on 2007 02 26 at 01:56 PM • permalinkWronwright, glad to see you’re back.
I was starting to think you had perished in that Aurora crash that went unreported last week.
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 02 26 at 03:12 PM • permalinkIf the Aurora is that craft that hit the deflector shield on the Tardis, well, it had it coming.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 02 26 at 03:24 PM • permalinkEnters room sheepishly, nods to Wronwright while avoiding eye contact, moves to the far corner and stands quietly with the large group of fellow Scalawags there. All are hoping to be tossed a scrap, a tiny morsel, anything to nourish their desire to be noticed among such illustrious company.
So starts the quest to reach the next level: Scoundrel.
Lowly, craven noob scuttling in—offering gratuitous bribe to Tim so as to curry favor—
http://thrillingwonder.blogspot.com/2007/02/rhombus-wildly-different-concept-car.html
(scroll down to the ugliest car ever made!)
***
“Gloebbel warming”—I can only dream of aspiring to such heights *grin*
I thought that Malcolm the Tenth was the last king of Scotland? That was what Malcolm X was about, wasn’t it?
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 26 at 11:25 PM • permalink
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Beclowning = bebanning
I’ll be watching Battlestar and anything else but that Hollywood circle jerk.