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PENGUIN CONFUSED

Caption of the month:

The penguin appears to have become somewhat confused

Confusion is the least of this guy’s problems; as a lone Magellanic penguin from southern Chile, he now faces Peruvian scorn following a 5,000 kilometre off-course swim:

Biologist David Orosco told AFP news agency that the native birds may even try to reject the penguin.

“Conditions in the park are not the ones it is used to. They usually seek out their own species, and it could suffer discrimination,” Mr Orosco said.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/12/2007 at 12:58 PM
  1. Penguinaphobia has got steadily worse under Bush.

    Posted by C.L. on 2007 05 12 at 01:05 PM • permalink

  2. No passport, no smelt.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 05 12 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  3. They usually seek out their own species, and it could suffer discrimination,” Mr Orosco said.

    Then that penguin had better retain the services of an expert on civil rights.*

    * For those non-Americans who are unfamiliar with some of the more farcical aspects of our society, that is a photo of the Reverend Al Sharpton: racial huckster, religious con man, and chief carnival barker for the Tabernacle of Afro-American Entitlement.

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 12 at 01:13 PM • permalink

  4. “native birds may even try to reject the penguin”

    This isn’t fair. Anti-discrimination protection for illegal immigrant penguins must be legislated. Slater & Gordon, where are you?

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 05 12 at 01:15 PM • permalink

  5. At least the penguin is spared little boys with magnifying glasses, the greatest threat to flightless birds ant-sized or smaller.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 05 12 at 01:22 PM • permalink

  6. These penguins are always losing their bearings. My wife was born and raised in Chile, and they once found a lone baby Magellanic penguin near Vina del Mar (not far from this place, once owned by her grandfather). There is a photo of Mrs. Paco, at a fancy-dress birthday party - she had just turned six - decked out as Marie Antoinette, standing alongside of “Pepito”, who looked particularly smashing in his little top hat and black tie.

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 12 at 01:29 PM • permalink

  7. Obviously this penguin fled an oppressive Magellanic regime in Chile to seek asylum in Peru, yet now there’s talk of deporting it.  Where is Amnesty International in all this?  Let the penguin stay!

    In other animal news, the Beast of Caer Bannog is on the loose in Northumberland.  I blame gerbil worming.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 05 12 at 01:37 PM • permalink

  8. I think the penguin found that the globe isn’t heating up fast enough and was just trying to get warm.

    Posted by Harry Eagar on 2007 05 12 at 02:10 PM • permalink

  9. 6. Damn and blast! Lowenstein-like, I didn’t double-check my facts. Mrs. Paco informs me that they actually came across the lost baby penguin in the south of Chile, and took it back to Vina del Mar (should be a tilde over the ‘n’, incidentally).

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 12 at 02:13 PM • permalink

  10. O/T, but related to a previous post, it looks like the decision on Lileks may simply have been part of a larger conniption of managerial incompetence .

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 12 at 02:21 PM • permalink

  11. Aren’t there some migratory polar bears that need a meal?  What’s the problem?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 12 at 02:35 PM • permalink

  12. OT: Some Lileks guy says, “Three minutes after I open the laptop I’m laughing at the work of a brilliant Australian columnist.” That’d be Tim Blair.

    Posted by m on 2007 05 12 at 02:40 PM • permalink

  13. O/T, sorry, but if there’s an inadvertently humourous photo that sums up the festering shithole that is Pakistan…
    http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/violence-leaves-at-least-15-dead-in-pakistan/2007/05/12/1178899175442.html
    What, other than exporting bearded nutters, is the purpose of this abortion of a country?

    Posted by phoenix55 on 2007 05 12 at 03:09 PM • permalink

  14. It looks like someone could have used a Penguin Antarctic Compass & Odometer. With a PACO® he wouldn’t have been late, and off-course, to the party!

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 05 12 at 03:27 PM • permalink

  15. That’s right, Andy! Now, the poor fellow is likely to spend years in a Peruvian concentration camp (all dressed up and nowhere to go).

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 12 at 03:34 PM • permalink

  16. OT:

    Ten-year warming window closing

    Scientists at Bristol University say a previously unexplained surge of carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere in recent years is due to more greenhouse gas escaping from trees, plants and soils. Global warming was making vegetation less able to absorb the carbon pollution pumped out by human activity.

    Guess which paper?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 12 at 03:39 PM • permalink

  17. 16: Ten-year warming window closing

    Quick! Somebody prop it open with a stick or something!

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 12 at 03:41 PM • permalink

  18. And while we’re on the topic of odd birds, looks like Beck has figured out Anonymous Lefty’s problem: he’s bewitched.

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 12 at 03:45 PM • permalink

  19. Ten-year warming window closing

    Aieee! We’re all going to die!

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 05 12 at 03:57 PM • permalink

  20. #15

    That’s right, Andy! Now, the poor fellow is likely to spend years in a Peruvian concentration camp

    That would be a Peruvian Approved Concentration Organisation, would it not?

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 05 12 at 04:01 PM • permalink

  21. #19 Bruce: That’s one of my favorite photos of Gore. He looks like a grizzly bear cornered by plott hounds.

    #20: Naturally!

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 12 at 04:12 PM • permalink

  22. It’s called Penguinamo.  They get prayer mats and halal kelp.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 05 12 at 04:50 PM • permalink

  23. An eleven year fan beats a ten year warming window.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 05 12 at 04:53 PM • permalink

  24. That’s not a PENGUIN. It’s a midget, scouring Machu Picchu for Inca treasure. I funded his venture, we split 50/50.

    Now, if he finds some good stuff and my half isn’t forthcoming, he will be stuffed up a penguins ass.

    I told the little bastard to look inconspicuous, and he comes up with this, Jesus.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 12 at 05:02 PM • permalink

  25. #11
    I think you might find that polar bears were driven out of Antarctica by their only natural predator.  As cute as they are, they are the only bird which kills for sport.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 05 12 at 05:41 PM • permalink

  26. While Davey is creating crocodile tears in loon -land, his girlfriend could be with Dr Who getting his son aborted.

    Posted by paddles on 2007 05 12 at 06:09 PM • permalink

  27. The penguin appears to have become somewhat confused

    So where’s Batman in all of this?  Maybe the penguin needs a Robin for company.

    Posted by Wand on 2007 05 12 at 06:28 PM • permalink

  28. it could suffer discrimination

    Racism is just everywhere these days.

    Posted by kae on 2007 05 12 at 06:42 PM • permalink

  29. I hope hate crimes legislation and affirmative action programs are in place to cover this gross injustice.  If not, I blame Bush.

    If not, send in the Justice Brothers.  Paco forgot the right Reverend Jackson who forms a team with Sharpton.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 05 12 at 06:52 PM • permalink

  30. i]Mr Orosco said he was trying to contact colleagues in the penguin’s home country.

    “It would be better for it to go to Chile,” he said.

    But was simply seeking asylum!

    I expect the full weight of the Australian legal profession and its refugee industry to be thrown behind this poor creature.

    It was only looking for a better life and was heading for the east coast of Australia when it was turned back by our despicable coast guard (sent to the eastern Pacific to deal with all those Haitians and Cubans heading our way).

    Everyone knows that asylum seekers may land anywhere they damn well please!

    I want Mr. Orosco charged with animal rights abuse.

    Posted by ann j on 2007 05 12 at 07:09 PM • permalink

  31. O.T. (sorta)

    There were these two guys in a bar, having a loud argument about penguins. The bartender goes over.

    BT: So what’s goin’ on here?

    GUY: We’re talking about penguins. Tell me, what’s the biggest penguin in the world?

    BT: Well, the emperor penguin is two, maybe three feet tall.

    GUY: No, I mean the biggest goddam penguin in the whole goddam world!

    BT: Like I said, two, maybe three feet.

    GUY (to his buddy): See! I told you! That must have been a couple of nuns we hit.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 05 12 at 07:12 PM • permalink

  32. #30: But was simply seeking asylum!

    Calling Major Mori!

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 12 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  33. #31 ErnieG,

    LOL! I’m telling that one at the bar tonight.

    BTW, didn’t the Aussie PM hoWARd throw a bunch of “alien” penguins off a boat into the ocean to die but they swam away and so it didn’t make the papers? He’d only do it because they’re black…and white.

    Posted by JDB on 2007 05 12 at 07:25 PM • permalink

  34. OT

    They lied, imagine that.

    Hamas Continues Running Kids TV Show Featuring ‘Mickey Mouse’ Look-Alike Preaching Terror
    Fox News

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 12 at 07:34 PM • permalink

  35. Where the hell is Agore!  Yesterday it was near the mid 80s, today I just got back from a bike ride, it’s 50F and I’m freezing.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2007 05 12 at 07:43 PM • permalink

  36. Specially Designed to deal with Extreme coldening

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 05 12 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  37. The penguin should have headed to People’s Democratic Republic of Victoria. The Bracks Government set up the Seabird Anti-Discrimination Tribunal just to protect the interests of penguins. Controversially, the first seabird to take advantage of its powers was a seagull. Attorney-General Rob Hulls said later in parliament it was never intended that seagulls would use the provision of the Seabird Anti-Discrimination Tribunal Act but to change the act to exclude them would be too complex. Instead, he will use his proposed Victorian bill of rights to ensure that undesirable elements in the PDRV community, such as seagulls, Christians and and conservative voters, don’t misuse the law to get justice.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 05 12 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  38. A penguin walks into a bar and orders a drink.  He downs that one in one gulp, and then orders several more, which the bartender serves to him.  Finally, he puts his glass down and says to the bartender, “Hey!  Has my brother been in here lately?”

    The bartender says, “I dunno.  What does he look like?”

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 12 at 08:33 PM • permalink

  39. Two cows are standing in a field, chewing their cud.  After a while, one cow says to the other, “Say, have you heard about that mad cow disease that’s going around?”

    The other cow says, “Yeah.  Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 12 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  40. The seven dwarfs are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city.
    After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the pope.  Grumpy, for once,
    seems to have a lot to say; he keeps asking the pontiff questions about
    the church, and in particular, nuns.

    “Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?”

    “No, my son, all our nuns are at least five feet tall.”

    “Are you sure?  I mean, you wouldn’t have any nuns that are, say,
    about my height?  Maybe a little shorter?”

    “I’m afraid not.  Why do you ask?”

    “No reason.”  Pause.  “Positive?  Nobody in a habit that’s about
    three feet tall, two and a half feet tall?”

    “I’m sure.”

    “Okay.” 
    Grumpy looks dejected at this news, and the pope wonders why.
    So he listens to the dwarfs as they leave the building.
    “What’d he say?  What’d he say?”  chant the other six dwarfs.
    Grumpy says, “He said they don’t have any.”

    And the other six start chanting, “Grumpy f**ked a penguin!  Grumpy
    f**ked a penguin!  Grumpy f**ked a penguin!”....

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 05 12 at 08:51 PM • permalink

  41. Could be the first case of simultaneous black and white discrimination.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 12 at 09:16 PM • permalink

  42. Hey Guys,

    I know it says May 12 on Tim’s post,

    but it’s Sunday here in Oz and that makes it,

    Mother’s Day!!!

    Don’t forget your mums everyone.

    Cheers.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 05 12 at 09:36 PM • permalink

  43.   The penguin appears to have become somewhat confused

    “Hoboken?!  I’m dying again!”

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 12 at 09:42 PM • permalink

  44. How did they know the penguin was confused?

    It couldn’t quote a single passage from Hegel, no matter how often they asked it to…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 12 at 09:43 PM • permalink

  45. Pogria

    I know so many Mother’s. I’d need a Christmas card type list…:)

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 12 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  46. I told the little bastard to look inconspicuous, and he comes up with this, Jesus.

    wronwright did the best he could.  DaveS only left the penguins suit…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 12 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  47. #19 Bruce

    No, NOW we’re all gonna die.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 05 12 at 09:46 PM • permalink

  48. richard mcenroe

    Moral of my story…never..NEVER trust a god damn midget, that tells you he’s working his way through college.

    Especially one that wears a frumpy hat, sings a little diddy, that goes Inca Dinka Do and has a big proboscis…:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 12 at 09:53 PM • permalink

  49. Yes, I said penguins.  It’s designed to imitate a flock, with the little puppet penguins hitched to the wearer’s ass. Looks like a little bitty wedding reception conga line…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 12 at 09:54 PM • permalink

  50. #14 A compass is no good in the Antarctic.  Everything is north, even south.  It confuses not only penguins, but also Microsoft Flight Simulator, written by penguins.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 05 12 at 09:55 PM • permalink

  51. Feh.  Disgruntled.  They cancelled NASCAR todayn due to rain.  Either because it damps out the crash fires or because the Car Of Tomorrow melts if you get it wet, I’m not sure which…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 12 at 09:59 PM • permalink

  52. Mori might be available soon to represent this poor penguin as it battles in court for its rightful dignity.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 05 12 at 10:03 PM • permalink

  53. This is my midget. It proves the point the he doesn’t know his ass, from s hole in the ground.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 12 at 10:04 PM • permalink

  54. It’s not going to help matters if you blow wronwright’s cover…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 12 at 10:11 PM • permalink

  55. Tut tut. Surely even those naughty Penguins know that difference is to be celebrated? Hmmm, sounds like the rest of those reculcitrant and racist birds need counselling and ‘education’.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 05 12 at 10:14 PM • permalink

  56. #45,

    Hi El Cid.

    Is any of the mothers you know yours?,
    or do they all take turns? ;)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 05 12 at 10:19 PM • permalink

  57. Pogria
    Hi - I just got a mother’s day card. I’m not a mother.
    Kerryn loves me!

    Posted by kae on 2007 05 12 at 10:55 PM • permalink

  58. He will be Ok, all he has to do is smile and wave.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 05 12 at 11:00 PM • permalink

  59. It’s not only the penguins that are confused.  The staff at the SMH are still running around like heads with their chooks cut off:

    Headline today:

    “Three teens charged after chrashing stolen car into police.”

    Link

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 05 12 at 11:16 PM • permalink

  60. #15 Paco like another. earlier Peruvian asylum seeker, that penguin may well end up as president of Venezuela

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 05 13 at 12:41 AM • permalink

  61. #43

    “Hoboken?!  I’m dying again!”

    “Can you help out a fellow American who’s down on his luck?”

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 05 13 at 01:05 AM • permalink

  62. #60 Jack: A penguin in control of all those oil revenues? The mind recoils in horror . . .

    Posted by paco on 2007 05 13 at 01:08 AM • permalink

  63. #57,
    That’s great Kae.

    Who’s Kerryn?

    I just got back from Mother’s Day Lunch.

    Wished I’d stayed at home and cooked myself.

    No restaraunt can cook a steak like I can.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 05 13 at 01:44 AM • permalink

  64. I worked with Kerryn, young enough to be my daughter. A great young person, hard working, good work ethic. Science degree. Very smart, management material. We used to commute together, then she lived with me last year from April to August. If I had a daughter, I’d want her to be like Kerryn. (She prolly would be just like Kerryn!)

    Posted by kae on 2007 05 13 at 01:57 AM • permalink

  65. #64,
    She sounds lovely Kae.

    My ratbag son forgot to bring me a cup of tea in bed.

    He will pay ( rubs hands together with a malevolent grin on face).

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 05 13 at 02:30 AM • permalink

  66. I loved Happy Feet!

    Virgin Green Airlines is going eco friendly for Mother Nature.


    He’s encouraging staff to fly less. Advert. Sun Herald think page 3

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 13 at 03:09 AM • permalink

  67. Virgin Green Airlines is going eco friendly for Mother Nature.

    Don’t tell me little dickie branson is going to run his planes on polar bear farts?

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 05 13 at 05:31 AM • permalink

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