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PENN AFLOAT

Astonishing claims from Sean Penn:

“We were pulling drowning people out of the water, it’s the ultimate distress and human suffering ... dead bodies,” he told GMTV.

Penn said he had spent nine hours on Monday searching the water for people and during all that time he saw just three boats carrying US officials.

Interesting. Britain’s Daily Mirror runs the same quotes, and offers a curious timeline:

Actor Sean Penn spent nine hours pulling bodies out of the putrid waters in New Orleans ...

Penn had to abandon his mission when his boat sprung a leak. He bailed out using a plastic cup.

Earlier reports noted that Penn’s little boat “began taking water within seconds of its launch.”

UPDATE. Phil at LGF:

How nice of all these Katrina victims to hold off on starting to drown for the 7 days Penn and his personal photographer were not there to offer their assistance.

UPDATE II. Penn’s heroism revealed on UK television.

Posted by Tim B. on 09/07/2005 at 12:55 AM
  1. It’s all good. He would’ve spent nine hours—the same thing, really.

    /moonbat

    Posted by david on 2005 09 07 at 02:09 AM • permalink

  2. So where are the pictures of the rescued victims his photographer must have taken?  Where are the grateful quotes his onboard biographer must have written down?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 09 07 at 02:20 AM • permalink

  3. Well, it was nine hours.  Ok, not nine hours in the boat, but nine hours of searching. 

    The search officially started at 10 am when Sean woke up in the Five Seasons.  He had breakfast (via room service), a long bath, a massage, he got dressed (it took 15 minutes alone to pick out which flak jacket he would wear), he watched some TV news reports to become thoroughly informed, he watched some Gilligan’s Island to help understand rescue techniques (with maybe a bit too much watching of the sinking of the Minnow), a nap (hey, it gets tiring planning a rescue), and later a planning session over a scruptous lunch at Antoines with his manager and photographer.  Then a drive over to Walmart to buy a rescue boat, and a quick run through a Rally’s drive thru for a Big Bubba burger for some lets-rescue-thousands-of-downtrodden-minorities energy. 

    And voila, nine hours.  Easy.  Give the man his dues.

    Posted by wronwright on 2005 09 07 at 02:27 AM • permalink

  4. I’m shocked at the way some people are willing to tell bare-faced lies.

    Posted by Evil Pundit on 2005 09 07 at 02:31 AM • permalink

  5. The boat goes BLOOP in the water. The bodies go BLOOP in the water. Penn goes BLOOP in the water…wait that was his career. He must be taking tips from Michael Moore. Taking out a camera crew and finding those he can force an interview with.
    Penn: Sir floating face down in the water. Do you blame Bush for this tragedy?
    Floater: BLOOP
    Penn: Slant that into a yes and print it. Wait..take a picture of me with a sad look on my face.

    Posted by wingsndagger on 2005 09 07 at 02:35 AM • permalink

  6. ISTR that there were no bungs in the bung holes.  Ergo, obviously it would leak as soon as it hit the water.  That’s what I thought the (highly dramatic) pic w/ red cup was about.

    Penn had to abandon his mission when his boat sprung a leak

    This directly implies that the boat was worthy at first, then a leak sprang de novo into being, (presumedly after about nine hours).

    Me no understand.

    Posted by zeppenwolf on 2005 09 07 at 02:39 AM • permalink

  7. And again with the racist conspiracy….

    ‘Actor’ Colin Farrell said: “If this had been a bunch of white people on the roofs of their houses I don’t have any f***ing doubt there would have been every single helicopter, plane and means that the government has trying to help.”

    The 29-year-old Irishman spoke out after being auctioned off on a £6,000 charity date.

    I’m fed up with non-citizen famewhores like this guy and the Pierce Brosnan’s of the world who feel they can criticise the country who puts the botox in their lips and the coke in their nostrils.

    You’re just actors for chrissakes. Your job is to speak what other people write for you.

    Get over yourselves.

    Posted by Jay Santos on 2005 09 07 at 02:52 AM • permalink

  8. Ha is this a comparison between reporting by the UK Daily Mail, the UK Mirror and the Australian?  Perhaps - the first two are more inclined to twist facts to suit themselves in what has become a grand tradition of the European press.

    And if we want to read about newspaper aggrandisement, how about this

    and the link in the main story

    So just how much can you believe in a newspaper?

    Posted by Wand on 2005 09 07 at 03:03 AM • permalink

  9. “We were pulling drowning people out of the water, it’s the ultimate distress and human suffering ... dead bodies”

    It reminds me of the question that asks “And which side did they bury the survivors?”

    Were they drowning or dead? Surely Sean wouldn’t want to embelish things a trifle? In that small, overloaded boat? The only things being pulled here are our legs and Seans’, well, erm….....

    Posted by Nic on 2005 09 07 at 03:19 AM • permalink

  10. Something tells me Jeff Spicoli wasn’t a stretch for Penn.

    Posted by Blithering Bunny on 2005 09 07 at 03:26 AM • permalink

  11. Wait a minute - sorry but haven’t kept up as to the reason for the “we hate Sean Penn” fest. Is he anti Iraq war or what?

    Posted by orang on 2005 09 07 at 03:44 AM • permalink

  12. Tsk, tsk, orang.  If you’re trying to subvert the thread, you must try harder than that.

    For myself, I think Senn Penn should remake Titanic, casting himself as that artist dude DiCaprio portrayed, and orang as the iceberg.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 09 07 at 03:50 AM • permalink

  13. TRAGEDY TRAGEDY TRAGEDY

    Gilligan died (ditto Maynard G Krebs)

    where was Sean?

    Posted by KK on 2005 09 07 at 03:59 AM • permalink

  14. #11. ‘Is he anti Iraq war or what’?. No Orang - he’s just a hopeless dickhead.

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 09 07 at 04:33 AM • permalink

  15. Orang-atan, have you not seen Team America?

    In my best Butthead voice;
    “Penn for bunghole…Cornholio..Penn for bung-hole”

    Posted by CB on 2005 09 07 at 05:52 AM • permalink

  16. When is some hard hitting journo type going to ask Penn why he was the only one in the boat wearing a flak jacket. I mean, solidarity with the workers and all that…

    Interesting that the Brits still introduce him as the former husband of Madonna.

    Posted by Hanyu on 2005 09 07 at 06:08 AM • permalink

  17. Orang, you’d be better off producing reasons why I should like him.

    Nothing has ever convinced me that he is anything but a tosser.

    Posted by Quentin George on 2005 09 07 at 06:17 AM • permalink

  18. Penn is still no angel.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098625/

    Posted by blogstrop on 2005 09 07 at 07:04 AM • permalink

  19. Oops, I forgot to mention just why orang should be cast in a Titanic remake as the iceberg:  the iceberg drifts about the place, and just gets in the way of things.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 09 07 at 07:17 AM • permalink

  20. We were pulling drowning bodies out of the water

    Maybe he was referring to himself, if that really was a flak jacket (10+ lbs) he was wearing….

    And wouldn’t it take about nine hours to bail a bass boat out with a Dixie cup?

    (Sorry; I’m doing this on a Palm LifeDrive, and I can’t use pmtags)

    Posted by Challeron on 2005 09 07 at 08:20 AM • permalink

  21. Poor poor Sean Penn.

    It’s beyond laughable. It’s sad.

    Posted by kipwatson on 2005 09 07 at 09:10 AM • permalink

  22. The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat…

    Posted by crash on 2005 09 07 at 09:49 AM • permalink

  23. I’ve written this before but see Sean Penn in “The Assassination of Richard Nixon”. He plays a sad loser that cannot cope with his own inadequacies and begins to blame and obsess about the President of the US until he decides to kill him. It’s based on a true story and Penn is Oscar worthy.

    It’s timely for assessing the moonbats out there today.

    Farrell & Brosnan, a Taig and a Prod, from that historically peaceful little island explaining to Americans how to get along better. Beautiful.

    Posted by JDB on 2005 09 07 at 09:55 AM • permalink

  24. OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS (CONTINUED)
    3.  Insert drain plug (A) into drain hole (b)...

    Posted by crusher_of_libs on 2005 09 07 at 01:13 PM • permalink

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