<< QUASI WAR! WHAT IT IS QUASI GOOD FOR? ~ MAIN ~ JOHN ILHAN >>
PLEDGE WEEK
It’s the first selfish fundraiser in this site’s six-year life! Aims: replace the ancient laptop, set up a wireless deal, launch some cash at admin, pay off those damn bookies and get video happening. Hit the PayPal at left to contribute, or e-mail for other money-throwing options.
Your uranium-enriched Pledge Week guarantee: Any sum raised in addition to that required for the purchase of items and services listed above will be used in a manner considered appropriate.
UPDATE. It’s the incensed newspaper rattling that makes this so perfect.
Do you take IOU’s?? (kidding) You take Seppo currency??
Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 22 at 01:03 PM • permalinkPay Pal’s been hacked twice that I know of. I’ll chip in another way when I hear what that is.
Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2007 10 22 at 01:05 PM • permalinkDoorbell rings
Paco: Pretend we’re not home. It’s probably a salesman. Or a Seventh Day Adventist.
Mrs. Paco: It might be one of the neighbors.
Paco: They’re even worse than Seventh Day Adventists. At least Seventh Day Adventists don’t borrow my lawnmower.
Mrs. Paco (sighs in exasperated fashion and opens the door): Yes, young man?
Tim Blair: G’day, mem (tugs forelock). I’m Tim Blair, and I’m solicitin’ funds for a wuthy cause.
Mrs. Paco: What kind of worthy cause?
Tim Blair: My blog, mem. Y’see, there are plenty of potential advertisers, but they keep gettin’ scared orf by some of the folderol that goes on in the comment section: bogus Che diaries, thud-rite detective stories, that sort-a thing.
Paco: ( Noise of incensed rattling of newspaper comes from family room)
Mrs. Paco: Well, you seem like a nice, hard-working young man. Would fifty dollars be all right?
Paco: ( Sound of groan, and loud thud, as of a human body sliding off of couch onto floor()
Tim Blair: Coo! I’d be eveh so griteful, mem. A fair dinkum orfer, I call it! And here, just to show you my gratitude, please igcept this complementary jeh of vegemite. Hooroo, now!
Mrs. Paco: Why, er, thanks, Mr. Blair. Good luck (Closes door).
Paco: Honey! Fifty bucks . . . for a jar of dirty Vaseline?!?
Mrs. Paco: Oh, rack off, yobbo! Anybody’d think we weren’t worth a zack!OK. I’ll contribute if 1.6 leaves (or is banned).
Since it appeared, I don’t come here much any more.
This is not intended to be an ultimatum, I just don’t like this place so much since 1.6 started posting multiple vacuous comments and people started to respond in kind.
I’ll just go back to flooding rainforests - quietly, but systematically.
Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 10 22 at 03:20 PM • permalink#12
Not to mention a certain fandango that will be going on in the US during 2008.
Having given up on England during 2008(we haven’t even been able to use our UA football tickets this year) I was hoping maybe a summer north of Denver. Then I realized that the Dem Convention was going to be in Denver next year!
/Desperate in Tucson.
#5 I dunno, still sounds like he emmigrated from New Zealand to me.
Aussie eg: “I’d be evva so grateful, mam. A fair dinkum offa, I call it.”
Except we’d say: “Ta, love, nice one. You go have yaself a great day there, OK?”
Something tells me, hoewever, that Mr Paco is having just a little bit of deliberate fun with our delicate lingo.
...for a jar of dirty Vaseline?!?
Really? It’s that good?
Your uranium-enriched Pledge Week guarantee: Any sum raised in addition to that required for the purchase of items and services listed above will be used in a manner considered appropriate.
Well, I hope that means a new couch for this place. The old one has seen way too many mead soaked parties!!
It was a nice couch, tho. Maybe we could send wronwright back to the seventies (the Golden Age of furniture design), in the Tardis, to get a new one just like it....used in a manner considered appropriate.
It will have something to do with cars rather than strip joints, I suspect.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 22 at 05:01 PM • permalink“Naked-lady mudflaps for Andrea’s Tercel.”
Isn’t that a sort of lesbian come-on there in Florida?
I stopped using PayPal after they were hacked the first time, what are the alternatives?
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 10 22 at 05:02 PM • permalinkI have heard PayPal horror stories, but most of them seem to be several years old. I certainly haven’t had any issues with them. (raps desk)
Many of the anti PP comments on the web just seem to be disguised ads for a PP ‘alternative’, none of which I’ve heard about anywhere else.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 22 at 05:20 PM • permalinkToday’s Suggested Reading:
Spam Poetry.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 22 at 05:24 PM • permalinkHere’s your buddy Kevin Rudd eating his own bodily excretions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aQ8YiIV1AITim. I’ll give you $20 on the proviso that you don’t start hiring people like Wayne Sanderson or David Roffey.
On that note I just popped over to Webdiary to scan around and see if the same old crew where there doing the same old thing. I wasn’t disappointed to find all the old favourites like Margo, Marilyn Shepherd, Bryan Law, etc and now Thom Lyons of Whacking Day fame calls Webdiary his home.Posted by Hank Reardon on 2007 10 22 at 06:10 PM • permalink30 - Obliging of them to stick together like that. Less work for the black helicopters, eh?
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 22 at 06:18 PM • permalinkHey Tim, something’s wrong with PayPal.
They wouldn’t accept twenty five cents. Said 50 cents is the minimum. Sorry.Just kidding. Timbo - so, you want a new laptop? Well have I got a deal for Y-O-U!
Here’s the scam. Listen up.Get married.
Have kids.
Send ‘em to school.
Grab one of Kevni .07s Happy Lappy’s.If you play it right you can update to the latest model EVERY YEAR!
No more begging or busking in the Chalmers Street tunnel.Endless bliss!
A fundraising idea: And you don’t need no steenkin horses
No Blood For Oil!
But we’ll spill it for KFC after a big day on the piss!Too slow coppers ! Again
I keep a separate card with only a couple hundred bucks in the account for paypal use only. I hope I’m not fooling myself.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 10 22 at 06:41 PM • permalinkOK, I sent some simoleons screaming south, Tim. Don’t forget, bring back the nekkid PETA chicks!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 22 at 07:23 PM • permalinkDear Mr. Timblair,
You don’t know me, but I have your name from the Interweb as a honest and culpable businesmen for mutual beneficent transacton.
Please forward your PayPal details to my Barister, Hon. Aristotle Okumwe, poste haste.
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 10 22 at 08:33 PM • permalink....get video happening….
I think I speak for all commenters when I say we need more detail here. Please tell me you don’t own a cat and aren’t about to post videos of exciting moments in its day. On the other hand, if you’re talking about naked midgets wrestling in custard, you can expect a serious donation from me.
Tim: With all that Paypal cash lying around your home, you might want to get one of these.
Consider the tin kicked.
I recommend some of the mid ‘90’s Coonawarra reds.Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 10 22 at 10:23 PM • permalinkOh, how i long for the day when i piddly little blog, with an average readership of next to noone has enough readers that I can fool even a small number to send me their hard earned in support of some crack scheme i happen to have come up with. But alas, I am as unpopular as ever, and destined remain as such.
P.S. does this depressed persona tug at the heart strings and compel you to visit my blog, or am I simply coming across as a loser.
agyucalledbrad
Posted by aguycalledbrad on 2007 10 22 at 10:55 PM • permalinkHa! I say ha! Even a derisive he! Such a pathetic attempt at garnering bathos.
Here is my pledge. I will spend the money you send my way on things Tim wouldn’t pay for. Mostly because he won’t have the money to pay for them. Show your disdain for Aussies by donating to me.
Posted by mythusmage on 2007 10 22 at 11:28 PM • permalinkI gave at the office.
OK, as a poor starving student on a subsistance allowance, I gave what I spend on food in a week to Tim and Mythusmage, half each.
A paltry sum, considering how much I visit their sites. But if a few hundred of Tim’s readers did the same, it would really amount to something.
My tip jar hasn’t been hit for ages, but it was hit when I really needed it, and allowed me to give my boy a Christmas present when there was no other way I could have afforded it. Top-of-the-line Health Insurance didn’t cover any of the unforeseen medical expenses.
Both Mythusmage and Tim deserve a few bucks. It may not cost you a lot, but it will really help them.
So, spending years snorting boldface and italic type has finally caught up with you, eh, Tim? And now you want us to help you get the Margo off your back? Okay. I’m in.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 10 23 at 12:04 AM • permalinkSpunked all your money on 1.6’s artwork and Kevin 07 shirts did you Tim?
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 10 23 at 12:56 AM • permalinkAre the election trolls who seem to have joined us going to contribute ...
I know its off topic, but was amused by this:
“Rising Seas, Sinking Lands Threaten Thai Capital”
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/10/22/thailand.water.rising.ap/index.html?iref=topnewsExperts say these waters, aided by sinking land, threaten to submerge Thailand’s sprawling capital of more than 10 million people within this century.
OK… Lets look into that - Bankock is “3 ½ to 5 feet above the nearby gulf”
With global sea-levels predicted to rise just 56cm (or 2 feet) sounds like there’s not much risk…
gulf’s waters have been rising by about a tenth of an inch a year
but Bangkok is…
...sinking at a far faster pace of up to 4 inches
...largely due to pumping water out of the aquifer under the city. I’m sure it can be blamed on global warming and carbondioxide somehow though… lets wait and see…
good show just started on oz history channel about israeli deliberate attack on USS Liberty.
Posted by Astonished on 2007 10 23 at 06:51 AM • permalinkDonate? Are you kidding me? You do know that I work for the government, don’cha? And the US government at that. I can’t even afford enough gasoline to drive to work. Heck, I had bus fare, but it fell through the hole in my pocket and I lost it in the snow on the ground while walking to town trying to find a second job. What’s worse is the hole in the roof leaked water into the milk, now it’s spoiled. What will the 17 Texas Bobblings have for supper now, I ask you? Speaking of snow, I have a cold. The snow leaked in through the holes of my shoes and gave me the chills. And my shabby excuse of a jacket is of no use at all.
I got a better idea Mr Blair. With all of your fame and gold and celebrity hobbnobbing, how’s about you send ME a little donation. You can make out the check to the Texas Bob Beer Fund /in care of El Cid.“Let Malibu Burn”
http://www.radicalurbantheory.com/mdavis/letmalibuburn.html#78
I wonder if, when rioters set fire to their own Los Angeles neighborhood after the Rodney King verdict, did these self-styled “urban radicals” say “Let South-Central burn!!!”?
Adolescent f*ckwits, all of them.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 10 23 at 12:35 PM • permalinkTB
Summer in Texas is a bitch?Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 10 23 at 05:02 PM • permalink# Update
Paco will get over it.The blow up mattresses in the army were OK, but they never stayed inflated all night (good thing most nights we were exhausted and slept like logs anyway), and they were always really, really hard to get all the air out of when you had to pack them back in your pack.
I learnt very quickly that it was much easier to just spread them, uninflated, on the ground for insulation.
When we had any bivouac over the weekend it was usually only a Friday and Saturday night, and there was always Vok to help you sleep if you weren’t exhausted already. Longer camps we had stretchers. Very comfortable once you set up your mozzie net in the tent.
*sigh* the good old days!Tim, I’ll send you the newly empty space on my hard drive where the 40 hours of Pocoyo, Pingu, the Wiggles and Shaun the Sheep lived until 9pm last night - that’s when the missus thought she was deleting an old gardening show, but instead wiped everything belonging to the 2 year old.
I was shaken awake at 6am by said 2 year old, who wanted his morning dose of “sheep”.
Since he is currently rather unimpressed at this state of affairs, you can have him as well - at least until I have recorded another 40 hours or so of electronic babysitter.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 10 23 at 06:19 PM • permalink#82 Steady on, 1.6 - your contributions add flavour to this blog and are much valued. Nobody is forced to read anyone’s posts, same as in a newspaper.
The key when going OT, I think, is to show a little restraint about not overpowering others who are engaging in an argument - and I reckon you do show restraint.
Stay with us, 1.6, it would be a sad day when the comments here are over-run by grumpy old men.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 10 23 at 06:43 PM • permalink#82 Just one request 1.618: please be more careful when posting long URLs!
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 10 23 at 07:35 PM • permalinkOnce again Jack forgets who runs this joint. If 1.618 is out of line with spam, Andrea is there to clean up. To promise to make a donation with strings attached is poor form imho.
Actually, a donation may help add a feature like the “ignore posts from specified users” I have seen on other sites.
1.618 - I know your heart is in the right place, and your style can be fun, so don’t feel bad. I’m sure people get the shits with some of my rambling crap too - lol.
#86
Actually, a donation may help add a feature like the “ignore posts from specified users” I have seen on other sites.
IIRC, ExpressionEngine doesn’t support that feature.
1.618 is probably the most good-hearted person on this blog. If I had a smidgeon of her warmth, I wouldn’t be such a misanthropic bastard.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 10 23 at 08:07 PM • permalink#81 - Kae, you must have been in a unit that had nice instructors. I used to dream of a weekend away where we got any sleep at all. The only nap time we got was in the back of the truck on the way back from the exercise area - and we only got to nap after cleaning all our kit.
I used to have a very hard time making it to 9am lectures on Monday morning.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 10 23 at 10:02 PM • permalink#84 #86 #87
Prolly the consensus.
I’m sure you have a lot of support 1.6, (and were prolly singled out as the chief offender among many of us); there’s prolly been little fuss as we want to support you without alienating Jack (cos this ain’t web diary, etc).
MM is spot on, as usual, with the newspaper analogy.Travellers Beware…
A salesman checked into a futuristic hotel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day’s meeting, He called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. “I’m afraid not, sir,” the clerk told him apologetically, “but down he hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.”
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, ‘Manicures, $20.00.
“Why not?” thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl.
Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.The next machine had a sign that read,
‘This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives,
50 Cents.’The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit… It now had a button sewn on the end.
owch!#82 1.618, you don’t need to go anywhere. This blog is not named JackfromMontreal.net, and because it’s Tim’s blog, Tim makes the rules here. You give this blog a bit of spark that it wouldn’t have if you weren’t here.
If Jack’s unhappy with this blog, he can always go find another. You shouldn’t have to conform to his wishes.
Tim, I have a Lotto ticket from the weekend that I’m willing to let you have.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 10 24 at 02:10 AM • permalinkI’ll sling in a 50 or so. Least a bloke can do.
Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 10 25 at 04:25 AM • permalink#102 - Did go a bit more than that, closer to double, so it’s only bread and budget Sno Top for a while. ;)
Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 10 26 at 09:15 PM • permalink
Page 1 of 1 pages
Members:
Login | Register
| Member List
Money well-donated! Please use part of it to buy yourself a beer.