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PREDICTABILITY PREDICTED

In Sweden, a book reviewer becomes book previewer:

A book reviewer on a Swedish newspaper has got himself into hot water for writing a review of a book that has not been written. To make matters worse, Kristian Lundberg claimed the book’s plot was “predictable” and said the characterisations were one-dimensional ...

Unfortunately for Lundberg, while the book had been advertised in publisher Piratförlaget’s autumn catalogue, [author Marie] Mattsson never actually got round to writing it.

Hit the link; the reviewer is refusing to back down. Fantastic.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/17/2006 at 08:35 AM
  1. Sounds like he was reviewing pixie & butch’s current road trip, predictable policies, check, one dimensional characters, check, is there a bridge in there somewhere?

    Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 17 at 08:55 AM • permalink

  2. let’s hope the book is published so I get the chance to say it for real

    Because the “intelligentsia” ain’t biased… noooo… and if that published review apparently wasn’t “for real”, then…. ?

    Posted by pache on 2006 12 17 at 08:58 AM • permalink

  3. Oh come on.

    Are you telling me, we couldn’t write an accurate review, right now, for Antony Loewenstein’s as-yet unpublished next book?

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 12 17 at 09:01 AM • permalink

  4. A review of a an unread book is a bit like the description of rock music journalism by one of the practitioners a few decades ago:

    it is stuff that is based on interviews with people who can’t talk, by people who can’t write, for the benefit of people who can’t read.

    Posted by Rafe on 2006 12 17 at 09:05 AM • permalink

  5. Umm, this sounds familiar: donations for trees that don’t exist and can’t be planted; sales for books that will never be written…

    PACO! I want 50% of the profits! I gave you the idea in the first place.

    Posted by mareeS on 2006 12 17 at 09:07 AM • permalink

  6. 3. Dan Lewis

    Oh come on.

    Are you telling me, we couldn’t write an accurate review, right now, for Antony Loewenstein’s as-yet unpublished next book?

    Or Michael Moore’s next movie?
    Or Jimmy Carter’s next book?
    Or John Kerry’s next speech?
    Or Madonna’s next public spectacle?

    Posted by ErnieG on 2006 12 17 at 09:17 AM • permalink

  7. A book too far..

    Posted by crash on 2006 12 17 at 09:18 AM • permalink

  8. Or in this case a book not far enough.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 17 at 09:38 AM • permalink

  9. Someone should ask this clown how it ends…

    Posted by CB on 2006 12 17 at 10:08 AM • permalink

  10. Lay off.  He just “erred in getting too far out in front of the news-cycle”.

    Posted by Not My Problem on 2006 12 17 at 10:10 AM • permalink

  11. I hope the sequel is better than the first, can’t wait for the reviews on that one.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 17 at 10:13 AM • permalink

  12. The newspaper has made an “unreserved apology” to Mattsson. Lundberg’s apology was more qualified. He told Svensk Bokhandel magazine that he had “got worked up in advance about Britt-Marie Mattsson because I detest her so very greatly.

    What’s so surprising about this statement?  This pretty much describes the “fake but accurate” modus operandi for 90% of journalists, especially with respect to any article or news reports on George BusHalliburton.  I’d include Mike Hudson in that 90%.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 12 17 at 10:25 AM • permalink

  13. “Piratförlaget”

    What sort of a name is that???

    Posted by McAnzac on 2006 12 17 at 10:56 AM • permalink

  14. Lewis Lapham should hire this guy.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 12 17 at 10:59 AM • permalink

  15. The reviewer is refusing to back down, but this isn’t any ordinary kind of slip-up. It’s a cheeky challenge to accepted limitations.

    Kristian Lundberg is able to use ordinary elements like hempweed, magnetism and the symmetry of crystals to fracture time and space. He can reach into the future, snatch a manuscript from its author at the forward limits of unfolding history and then return to the here-and-now, ready to tell the whole story before lunch.

    Posted by splice on 2006 12 17 at 11:37 AM • permalink

  16. #13

    “Piratförlaget”

    What sort of a name is that???

    Pirate Publishing—somehow the name fits for a company that sells books that have yet to be written.

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2006 12 17 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  17. Well, claiming the plot was (is? will be?) predictable is at least internally consistent. As Dan Lewis points out above, some books are so predictable you don’t even need to wait for them to be written.

    Posted by PW on 2006 12 17 at 01:07 PM • permalink

  18. I hope the sequel is better than the first, can’t wait for the reviews on that one.

    I hear the next one’s going to be a prequel.

    Posted by PW on 2006 12 17 at 01:08 PM • permalink

  19. #5: PACO! I want 50% of the profits! I gave you the idea in the first place.

    Sigh. It’s sad that so many people don’t understand financial accounting. You see, MareeS, your idea may have - may have, mind you - contributed to revenues, but what with our high overhead, marketing expenses, the skyrocketing cost of e:mail, and so forth, I’m afraid that there were no profits from these specific ventures. It will all be in the notes to our annual report. Er, you do read Croatian, don’t you?

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 17 at 06:54 PM • permalink

  20. Paco, my croatian language skills are rudimentary at best. Fortunately my Croat next-door neighbour is fluent and very large, and extremely cosmopolitan. He can translate the %#&* work into seventeen languages while snapping major bones. Unfortunately, he’s illiterate in both written english and croatian. Can you please have the report translated into pidjin?

    Posted by mareeS on 2006 12 17 at 07:19 PM • permalink

  21. mareeS - why don’t you get someone to read the report before it is written?  That seems to be the latest time saving trend.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 17 at 08:02 PM • permalink

  22. One of our more creative writers and thinkers should publish a book that explains and defines this new philosophy.

    As a title, I offer the following suggestions:

    Post-realism
    Anti-competence
    Unrational
    Defactualism.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 17 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  23. Wasn’t there a course in pre-emptive literature taught at the Unseen University? Involved drinking lots of reannual wine and Klatchian Coffee, making you totally knurd and seeing into the future.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 12 17 at 08:45 PM • permalink

  24. What is it called when you have to take a review back? A deview?

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 12 17 at 09:05 PM • permalink

  25. # 24 - its called a reviewcation.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 17 at 09:42 PM • permalink

  26. The critic was probably using a new product recently introduced by Paco Enterprises, the Prognostications of Authorial Content Oracle. I have used it, myself, to predict some of the content of Mike Hudson’s eagerly-awaited Monday column.

    And no, MareeS, it is NOT turning a profit.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 17 at 11:22 PM • permalink

  27. #26, paco:

    Umm…you sure you picked up the right set of books? The ones for the tax man (negative returns and profit losses) has the green border. The one for the board of directors (true growth and profits recording) has the red border.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 18 at 12:13 AM • permalink

  28. When you hit Tim’s link, on the same page there’s a heading ‘This Week’s Highlights’.
    Which carries this little story:-

    Residents of Fjuckby want a name change, for some reason

    Interesting place Sweden…..

    Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 18 at 12:54 AM • permalink

  29. I am proud to announce my new novel, to be published by Paco Inc.‘s publishing arm PirateFloggit.
    To save you all the trouble of reading it, and to spare Paco the expenses (correction: the rising expenses!) of emails, publication and distribution, we will just tell you how good it is, give a brief outline, and ask you for an advance payment against future developments. But rest assured, it’s going to be so good!

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 12 18 at 06:42 AM • permalink

  30. blogstrop:

    Very cool! I’d like to place an order for chapters 2 through 6, minus chapter 5. I’ve read a prereview that suggested the first chapter was more of an introduction and could easily be skipped and chapter 5 drifted off plot and was just confusing.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 12 18 at 08:54 AM • permalink

  31. #29: Plus, it will be offered in a deluxe edition, featuring genuine leather binding, raised spines, and gold lettering. For just a few dollars more, you will be able to point proudly at the gap in the shelf of books in your home, and describe to friends what this book would look like, if it really existed.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 18 at 10:17 AM • permalink

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