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QUASI WAR! WHAT IT IS QUASI GOOD FOR?

Absolutely quasi nothin’! Former oil, gas and coal industry executive turned crazy person Ian Dunlop:

With the global population heading from 6.5 billion today towards 9 billion by 2050, we are already exceeding the ability of the planet to absorb the impact of human activity ...

How to improve planetary absorbency? Like apocalyptoids throughout the ages, Dunlop awaits leadership. But, just in case The Great One is busy running a deli or something, Dunlop has a back-up plan:

In the event that real leadership does not emerge, we must place these issues outside the political sphere, to be handled independently on a quasi-war footing.

Go ahead, nature boy. I’ll be on the side with the guns, bombs, and tanks. Meanwhile, poor overwhelmed Earth is soon to commence shedding excess New Yorkers.

Posted by Tim B. on 10/22/2007 at 12:13 PM
  1. But… but… but they didn’t vote for George Bush!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 22 at 12:26 PM • permalink

  2. Quasi anything footed usually leads to this.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 22 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  3. Will Ian be using quasi weapons? When I was a kid that meant a fist with the index finger pointed out and the thumb pointed up while yelling bang! bang!

    Posted by Retread on 2007 10 22 at 12:57 PM • permalink

  4. I remember those glorious days of yesteryear, when the “energy crisis” of the day prompted then-president Jimmah “Quasi” Carter to say establishing energy independence was the “moral equivalent of wuh.”* 

    Attempts to change from dependence on petroleum products to peanut oil proved unsuccessful.

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 10 22 at 12:57 PM • permalink

  5. Did someone say tanks???  I’m driving!!!

    ...and Tim, my posse has your back!

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 22 at 01:00 PM • permalink

  6. RebeccaH

    But the parts of the state most affected did vote for Bush.  The article stated that the urban areas would be ok, it’s just those rural parts of NY that will be hurt most.

    I guess West Point will just have to move and merge with the Naval Academy at Annapolis.  Or maybe Colorado Springs will become academy central.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 10 22 at 01:01 PM • permalink

  7. I dunno, “shedding excess New Yorkers” is said like it’s a bad thing.  Maybe we could start making plans to re-locate, say, 4-5 million of them to the Great Plains.  Take the place of buffalo, maybe?  I can see it now, vast herds of New Yorkers, cursing and milling and not making eye contact and heading in a rush and a huge cloud of dust across the plains in search of a decent cappucino.  What an opportunity for tourism (or hunters—what would a Sharps’ buffalo rifle do to thin the herd?).

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 10 22 at 01:19 PM • permalink

  8. Where IS Quasi Modo when you really need him?

    Posted by Hucbald on 2007 10 22 at 01:31 PM • permalink

  9. Not the Great Plains, Jorg, that’ll be too hot.  Send ‘em to Antarctica, where they’ll have plenty of grazing.

    But not Alaska.  That’s reserved for Right Wing Death Beasts.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 22 at 01:33 PM • permalink

  10. Let’s go fight these quasi-wars with quasi-guns like these. But what can we really do? Well, I guess, we’d get really wet with quasi-rain on our faces.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/49405310@N00/220329870/

    Posted by filcan on 2007 10 22 at 01:43 PM • permalink

  11. I can remember when people who ran around crying “repent the end is near” were made fun of. Now they are mainstream and sport PhD’s.
    One other thing! I am in NY! We didn’t all vote for Hillary or the Goreacle!

    Posted by Latino on 2007 10 22 at 02:37 PM • permalink

  12. Rural New York will be hardest hit?

    Well, yeah.  The plan seems to be to drive everyone out of the remainder of the state, steal the water from Lake Ontario, and construct power lines to import electricity from Canada.

    There will be a couple of Indian Casinos along the Thruway to break up the drive.

    Posted by MarkD on 2007 10 22 at 02:56 PM • permalink

  13. 95% dead New Yorkers?  Speaking as an escapee from that state and state of mind, there has to be a downside in there somewhere…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 10 22 at 03:08 PM • permalink

  14. Can’t remember who posted this last week or so…BUT..

    Bush Presents Medal of Honor to Family of Fallen Navy SEAL

    Fox News

    Although wounded, Murphy is credited with risking his own life by moving into the open for a better position to transmit a call for help.

    Still under fire, Murphy provided his unit’s location and the size of the enemy force. At one point he was shot in the back, causing him to drop the transmitter. Murphy picked it back up, completed the call and continued firing at the enemy who was closing in.

    He then returned to his cover position with his men and continued the battle. A U.S. helicopter sent to rescue the men was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade, killing all 16 aboard.

    By the end of the two-hour gunfight, Murphy and two of his comrades were also dead. An estimated 35 Taliban were also killed. Luttrell was blown over a ridge and knocked unconscious. He escaped, and was protected by local villagers for several days before he was rescued.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 10 22 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  15. Jesus wept. There is so much wrong in the New York article, it beggars belief.

    By taking steps now to cut emissions, New Yorkers could prevent 300 of these expected deaths annually, Knowlton says.

    I’ve heard them claim national emission caps helping on a national level, but never so localised as this. Is New York covered by some sort of bio-dome, isolated from the rest of the planet? (No smart-ass remarks, please).

    As for their computer-model generated (hee-hee…gaaa) 300/year mortality figure from excessive heat, couldn’t find mention of deaths from cold. Always got to balance those figures if your statement’s to have any validity.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 10 22 at 03:23 PM • permalink

  16. Okay, I got Apaches.  I got Cobras.  I have Humvees equipped with tow missile launchers.  I even have a few Klingon birds of prey.  Which of these can we use in a quasi war?

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 10 22 at 03:31 PM • permalink

  17. I would have liked more numbers on the New York article. So deaths could rise by as much as 95%?

    How much is 95% more than none? And if we can prevent 300 of those deaths, then how much is 300 less than none?

    They must be including the victims of violence we sometimes get on hot summer nights. That must be it—they figure that by 2050 we’ll have a Democratic mayor.

    Posted by tim maguire on 2007 10 22 at 03:42 PM • permalink

  18. Oops, I meant “how much is 300 less than (none X 95%)?”

    Posted by tim maguire on 2007 10 22 at 03:43 PM • permalink

  19. #14 El Cid: Brave, brave lad (as they all are). You will be unsurprised, but nonetheless disgusted, to learn, that when it first became known that Murphy was being awarded the Medal of Honor, the NYT didn’t even report it (they were raked over the coals by, I believe, the New York Post for neglecting to do so).

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 22 at 03:52 PM • permalink

  20. 19 Paco

    Speaking of brave lads, how is Marine Paco?

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 10 22 at 04:06 PM • permalink

  21. Excusa…I just cannot type the NYT and

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 10 22 at 04:09 PM • permalink

  22. ....Brave men and women from every nation that sees the danger and is doing something about it, in the same post.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 10 22 at 04:10 PM • permalink

  23. If they want to talk about death from the heat, let them come to San Diego County.  As of now, we have 9 major fires going, with dozens of small fires sparked by the embers blown about by hurricane force winds. 

    Of course, being competent government officials who are doing their jobs (unlike, say, the government officials in Louisiana), we’ve had but a few casualties, even though they’ve evacuated over 250,000 people.

    You see, there are those who don’t just sit around and write doomsday articles about crises they can see coming.  These people actually plan, and execute ways to save lives, even in the pit of hell.  Go figure.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 10 22 at 04:41 PM • permalink

  24. I would like to make some joke about the eco-greens joining with the islamo-greens and the stalino-reds but I can’t ... not when we have the Year Zero Boy pin-up, Pol Pot. Dunlop’s logical conclusion is this sort of getting back to nature

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 10 22 at 05:01 PM • permalink

  25. Old Tanker
    Be Prepared!

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 10 22 at 05:06 PM • permalink

  26. saltydog,

    Looks like the voters in Louisiana finally grew a brain and elected someone who could deal with that type of disaster.  (Bobby Jindal is the son of Indian immigrants elected to the governorship of Louisiana.  Way too many points to be made as to racism, lack of, and immigration, success of, related to this election.)

    Posted by David Crawford on 2007 10 22 at 05:11 PM • permalink

  27. #26. David Crawford,

    Louisiana is a good example of the fact that corruption kills.  It isn’t just a matter of a bunch of “good ol’ boys” skimming a buck and giving their worthless nephew a job.  I think the citizens of Louisiana saw, in the rawest form, the consequences of putting up with crooks.

    Now if we could just get the rest of the country to understand the danger.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 10 22 at 05:40 PM • permalink

  28. How about we adopt a quasar footing?!

    Just imagine it: Living each moment as if we knew the entire planet and every last organism inhabiting it were about to be utterly and completely destroyed by a massive gamma ray burst coming from a neighboring deathstar.

    Must be like the real every day life of a global warming alarmist: CO2= gamma rays, and the neighboring deathstar is everybody who won’t drink the koolaid.

    Posted by Hucbald on 2007 10 22 at 05:50 PM • permalink

  29. By 2050? Easily fixed. Most of those doomed to heat-death haven’t been born yet. The solution is for NYers to stop procreating. No babies now - no future deaths.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 10 22 at 06:45 PM • permalink

  30. Maybe Gaia needs CO2 Depends? Someone should get onto Drager about that.

    As a caver I know about the effects of CO2 on humans. CO2 is heavier than air and collects in pockets in caves. If you are caving it can be dangerous in foul air because you will get a terrible headache and can become disoriented which in some situations can be dangerous.

    For heaven’s sake, don’t tell the bloody Warmenistas!

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 22 at 07:08 PM • permalink

  31. This winter in Australia several people died from influenza*.

    Must have been global warming.

    *The deaths were actually attributed to them contracting Influenza A. (Noone had ever died in Aus from the flu prior to this.. well, that’s the impression given by the MSM.)

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 22 at 07:14 PM • permalink

  32. #25 J.M.

    Heel, you gotta hand it to them boys.  We slept behind the tank for warmth but damn, those boys have cots and everything!!!

    Still trying to figure out what that is???

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 22 at 07:23 PM • permalink

  33. #27 - Hi salty   -  I’m a big fan of James Lee Burke but didn’t realise so many of his yarns of nepotism and corruption were a mirror of the real Louisiana.

    Posted by LaoHuLi on 2007 10 22 at 08:08 PM • permalink

  34. 32

    Heel=Hell, dang it…

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 22 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  35. “In the event that real leadership does not emerge, we must place these issues outside the political sphere, to be handled independently on a quasi-war footing. It is that serious.”

    This is one of these mindless platitudes which is all these clowns can come up with. Apart from the mindless vacuity of the term “quasi-war” (sounds intelekshul, but)how do we place this outside the political sphere???

    Well, of course, silly me!! we make Gruppenfuehrer von dunlop our leader President-for-life Duce Fuehrer-whatever- so He can introduce quasi-rationing, quasi-conscription, quasi-etcetera, and set up factories to make quasi-bullets, quasi aeroplanes and the quasi-rest of the quasi-stuff you quasi-need.

    Chalk up another nail in the coffin of the Age of Reason, folks.  Maybe a quasi-nail will do.

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 10 22 at 08:17 PM • permalink

  36. Maybe he’s gone quasi Quazi?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 22 at 09:19 PM • permalink

  37. “we must place these issues outside the political sphere, to be handled independently on a quasi-war footing.”

    Will be hearing the quasi-drumbeat of quasi-war?

    Posted by JimC on 2007 10 22 at 09:38 PM • permalink

  38. Quasi?

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 22 at 09:41 PM • permalink

  39. #38
    He’s dreamin’ ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 22 at 09:59 PM • permalink

  40. Bring out the Blame-throwers!

    Q/ How many Khmer Rouge does it take to change a light-bulb?

    A/ 10,000.  1 to unscrew the bulb, and 9,999 to kill everyone who’s ever used electricity.

    Posted by Hero Schema on 2007 10 22 at 10:01 PM • permalink

  41. Old Tanker
    Supplementary imagery here. However, the new rent-a-tanks are arriving and may now be getting dirty.

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 10 22 at 10:13 PM • permalink

  42. Re #32 also
    In my day, cots were a luxury, not permitted in the field. We used air mattresses with the auto-wakey feature known otherwise as the “slow leak”.

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 10 22 at 10:19 PM • permalink

  43. How low is the birthrate going in Western Europe? I heard that NY will helpby not having enough babies to increase the death numbers that high. Thank you blue staters, just don’t reproduce and we won’t have so many deaths!

    Posted by JEM on 2007 10 22 at 10:48 PM • permalink

  44. don’t be stupid, be a smarty
    come on join the quazi party.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 10 22 at 10:50 PM • permalink

  45. #44
    Is it a BYOG?

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 22 at 11:03 PM • permalink

  46. Bring Your Own Gas mask? why certainly- vegetarianism is a fundamental principle for us here in the Quazi Party

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 10 22 at 11:12 PM • permalink

  47. #5 Old Tanker, remind me to never, ever knock on your door in the middle of the night unannounced.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 22 at 11:40 PM • permalink

  48. #5 Or in fact, remind me to call before I arrive.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 22 at 11:42 PM • permalink

  49. Quazi:  The world’s largest and finest firearms training centre, as infested by Catholic Workers moonbats yesterday.

    Posted by Hero Schema on 2007 10 23 at 12:10 AM • permalink

  50. Ian Dunlop was formerly an international oil, gas and coal industry executive

    ...where he no doubt set himself up for a life of idle greenism.

    This reminds me of the headline “Former porn star advises chastity”.  To which the appropriate response might be: ‘Well, that’s OK for you to say.’

    Posted by Big Jim on 2007 10 23 at 12:12 AM • permalink

  51. #50
    Yup, another ‘Doctor’s wife’
    akin to ‘I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin’ ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 23 at 12:48 AM • permalink

  52. #4, #11,
    I’m old enough to remember when ‘news’ meant a report about what had happened.

    Posted by chrisgo on 2007 10 23 at 02:40 AM • permalink

  53. Outside the political sphere on a quasi-war footing. Is that what those folks in NZ were going to try?

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 10 23 at 06:18 AM • permalink

  54. Are we still going for 9 bil by 2050? That figure sounds so 1969 Paul Ehrlich.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 23 at 07:25 AM • permalink

  55. #42 J.M.

    Leopards…..that’s right, the Canadians just bought a bunch.  Air mattresses eh?  You Canadians sure know how to go to the field.  Our dirt mattresses were alright as long as it was cold enough to keep the scorpions away and not so cold as to wake up with a snake in your sleeping bag….of course that made getting up for guard duty pretty easy!

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 23 at 08:32 AM • permalink

  56. #47 Ash_

    I wouldn’t worry as long as you don’t hear from the other side of the door..“load ‘em up boys!”..

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 23 at 08:35 AM • permalink

  57. #56 Old Tanker, I’d rather make sure. Plus, I have a sneaking suspicion that it only takes the posse mere seconds to load up… or at least, less time than it takes me to duck.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 23 at 08:41 AM • permalink

  58. “Quasi-lutely Nothin’”

    Hire a writer.

    Posted by mojo on 2007 10 23 at 01:10 PM • permalink

  59. Air mattresses? When you are on ex in Wainwright during the Jan - Mar period, you find that an air mattress is a very good thing.

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 10 23 at 04:58 PM • permalink

  60. The number of heat-related deaths in and around New York City will nearly double by 2050 - and could rise as high as 95 percent—due to global warming, if no efforts are made to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, a new study shows.

    “All kinds of households in the region might want to think about what global warming and greenhouse gas emissions might mean for their quality of life in the not-too-distant future,” Dr. Kim Knowlton of Columbia University in New York City, the study’s lead author, told Reuters Health.

    By taking steps now to cut emissions, New Yorkers could prevent 300 of these expected deaths annually, Knowlton says. “We can save lives by taking progressive action now to regulate greenhouse gas emissions. That’s the good news.”

    Every day there’s a new new study on One More Thing that could happen as a raging Gaia takes her revenge on mankind. I shudder to think how many were paid for with my tax dollars.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 10 23 at 09:11 PM • permalink

  61. Let me see.

    Greenhouse gases.

    Greenhouse gases.

    Surely the first step is to outlaw greenhouses?

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 23 at 09:24 PM • permalink

  62. We had a Quasi-War once.  It was with France, in 1798-1800.  The French Foreign Minister, an ex-bishop named Talleyrand, insisted that the USA pay a large bribe before he would even meet with our negotiators.  Successful negotiations, over French seizures of American ships, would cost a lot more.  This is where the phrase “Millions for defense but not a penny for tribute” came from.  It was quasi, I suppose, because neither side declared war and all the fighting was done at sea.

    We won.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 10 24 at 12:34 AM • permalink

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