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RABBITS: A MARXIST PERSPECTIVE

They hop, they breed, they keep commies alive:

An east German pensioner who breeds rabbits the size of dogs has been asked by North Korea to help set up a big bunny farm to alleviate food shortages in the communist country …

It all started when Karl Szmolinsky won a prize for breeding Germany’s largest rabbit, a friendly-looking 10.5 kilogram “German Gray Giant” called Robert, in February 2006.

Images of the chubby monster went around the world and reached the reclusive communist state of North Korea, a country of 23 million which according to the United Nations Food Programme suffers widespread food shortages and where many people “struggle to feed themselves on a diet critically deficient in protein, fats and micronutrients.”

Via guardian angel, who asks: “I wonder what the rabbits will eat. Grass is people food in North Korea.”

Posted by Tim B. on 01/11/2007 at 02:44 AM
  1. “I wonder what the rabbits will eat. Grass is people food in North Korea.”

    That is a bit of a poser. I suspect that the big bunny stew will be used to keep the Army fed just enough to stave off a coup…

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 11 at 02:56 AM • permalink

  2. The North Koreans say they want the giant rabbits for food, but bearing in mind the DPRK’s history of tunneling under the border into South Korea, I believe we should be concerned about the possibility of Kim Jong Il constructing an army of giant tunnel digging super bunnies.

    Posted by Ross on 2007 01 11 at 03:01 AM • permalink

  3. The Dear Rabbit, and the Glorious Rabbit, will lead us to the workers’ paradise, where we will all take a left at Albuquerque and there will be free health care for all.

    Posted by Don't Bogart that Midget, Comrade! on 2007 01 11 at 03:04 AM • permalink

  4. This is old news, they approached Hugh Heffner regarding the same thing years ago.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 11 at 03:25 AM • permalink

  5. 10.5 fricken kilos? That be a big bunny. Mind you, nothing disgusted me more than the rat farm in thailand producing similar sized specimens for both meat and fur.

    Tell a young Hong Konger you eat rabbit, they are incredulous. Which is pretty amazing given the things they do eat.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 01 11 at 03:27 AM • permalink

  6. I guess sending myxo across to North Korea would be considered biological weaponry.

    Posted by MB on 2007 01 11 at 03:33 AM • permalink

  7. Methinks Kim Jong Il, noted movie buff amongst other things, has been watching too many Jimmy Stewart films.

    Posted by Stevo on 2007 01 11 at 03:40 AM • permalink

  8. Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run
    Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run
    Bang, bang, bang, bang! goes the farmer’s gun
    Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run

    Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run
    Don’t give the farmer his fun, fun,fun
    He’ll get by without his rabbit pie
    So run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 11 at 03:45 AM • permalink

  9. Via guardian angel, who asks: “I wonder what the rabbits will eat. Grass is people food in North Korea.”

    Soylent green ...

    Posted by BIWOZ on 2007 01 11 at 03:51 AM • permalink

  10. I wonder what the poor rabbits are doing this year ... Bugs Bunny

    Posted by Stevo on 2007 01 11 at 04:05 AM • permalink

  11. It has always been my belief that if one eats nothing but rabbit meat, one will die of starvation.

    See “Rabbit Starvation” in wikipedia for what probably passes as confirmation of this.

    Then again, when one is experiencing acute starvation right now, the possibility of experiencing malnutrition in the future would seem pretty good.

    Posted by Steve at the pub on 2007 01 11 at 04:18 AM • permalink

  12. It won’t work. The DMZ has a rabbit-proof fence.

    Posted by surly on 2007 01 11 at 04:21 AM • permalink

  13. I suppose any alternative to actual dog would go down well in North Korea.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 01 11 at 04:39 AM • permalink

  14. surly ... the rabbit proof fence is in China ... called the Great Wall of China, erected during the time of the Emperor Nasi Goreng ... don’t you know anything?

    Posted by Stevo on 2007 01 11 at 04:39 AM • permalink

  15. #9, BIWOZ:

    Via guardian angel, who asks: “I wonder what the rabbits will eat. Grass is people food in North Korea.”
    Soylent green ...

    I dont think they do Soylent Green. They’re more into fresh produce, rather than processed foods.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 01 11 at 04:41 AM • permalink

  16. Stevo,

    Those damned Chinese and their aparthare wall…

    Posted by surly on 2007 01 11 at 05:07 AM • permalink

  17. O/T - but our favourite mufti has just gobbed off again on Egyptian television. Nothing too radical, Australians don’t have any democracy, are the worst liars and unjust people. He also put his lawyers hat on and said the gang rapes didn’t happen - ““They arranged to meet in a public park at 2 or 3 am in the morning, and it (the sex) was agreed on,” he said”.

    We are decendants of convicts of course but have little claim to Australia because “We’ve been in Australia longer than them. Islam is deep rooted in the Australian soil. Islam was here before the English fleet.”

    I feel so ashamed of myself and my fellow countryfolk. I’ve just given myself a triple uppercut.

    Oh, and of course dear old Keyser was on the box saying the mufti has been quoted out of context. Some things never change.

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2007 01 11 at 05:10 AM • permalink

  18. Maybe they were confused by “rabbits the size of dogs” thing.  Something got lost in the translation…

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 01 11 at 05:15 AM • permalink

  19. So the rabbits are going to stave off hunger?
    Free market capitalism has always done a much better job.

    Posted by Hank Reardon on 2007 01 11 at 05:29 AM • permalink

  20. So, will this german rabbit farmer take his payments in counterfeit US $20 or $100 bills?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 01 11 at 05:41 AM • permalink

  21. C’mon Tim. One Marx-ish perspective per day is more than enough.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 01 11 at 05:42 AM • permalink

  22. Bleed rots of labbits - they not get ronery.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 01 11 at 05:45 AM • permalink

  23. #8 Bonmot,
    Easy tiger, rabbit pie day aint till friday.

    Posted by Daniel San on 2007 01 11 at 07:07 AM • permalink

  24. As my Green Party next door neighbour always says; “True Socialism hasn’t been tried yet”

    It’s obvious to any fair minded citizen that those nefarious Americans are undermining the glorious Utopian project.

    Bring on the Islamic revolution.

    Posted by gubbaboy on 2007 01 11 at 07:13 AM • permalink

  25. Asked to comment on NK plans to import s..tloads of bunnies, glorious leader Kim Il Fudd responded:-

    “Shhhhhhhh, be vewy vewy quiet; I’m hunting wabbits, ehehehehehehe.”

    Posted by Spag_oz on 2007 01 11 at 07:36 AM • permalink

  26. #24 Gubbaboy

    Aaaah that old chestnut. Maybe you could reply with “neither has true anarchy: your point?”

    Or, “And now that the other attempts at it have revealed how shit it is, hopefully it never will be.”

    Or, smile with “Well there’s a blessing!”

    Bloody watermelons…

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 11 at 07:48 AM • permalink

  27. you raff on the other side of your ugry faces capitarist rackeys when i raunch my new super weapon

    no more ronery jokes ever

    kim jong il

    (mwahahahaha)

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 11 at 07:55 AM • permalink

  28. Killer rabbits the size of pitbulls on the hunt in packs? Fine. Let ‘em breed. This is just Gaia’s way of fighting back. The rabbits are on the warpath against abominations of nature, like     Jimmy Carter, and this time things won’t be so pretty down around Plains, Georgia.

    Posted by geoff on 2007 01 11 at 07:56 AM • permalink

  29. I thought lil Kim looked like he had a bunny in the oven.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 11 at 07:56 AM • permalink

  30. Now that the Berlin wall is out of the way for the formerly kommokraukt kaptive East Germans, this Giant Rabbit Breeding™ thing is just a hobby for old-timers.

    Wouldn’t ya think that the North Koreans could get the hint here on how to alleviate poverty in a really big way? Heck no, they wanna buy into more of the old business.

    It’s high irony that Karl Szmolinsky from east Germany, presumably a beneficiary of the twentieth century’s harrowing struggles for liberty and prosperity in Europe, now gets a chance to become quite wealthy by selling the product of his own small struggles to the dream of one of today’s most retrograde and oppressive ideologues.

    Posted by splice on 2007 01 11 at 08:02 AM • permalink

  31. OT:

    That was quick: U.S. forces raid Iranian consulate in Iraq.

    Posted by C.L. on 2007 01 11 at 08:03 AM • permalink

  32. Al Gore is next. Global warm this asswipe.

    Posted by geoff on 2007 01 11 at 08:03 AM • permalink

  33. #14

    How are you even going to begin to explain that to our American friends?

    There’s a great photo essay on North Korea here although most of the photos on the first few pages seem to have vanished very recently. Browse the whole thread, it’s quite an eye opener. I like the part where the hotel rooms are bugged, but a loud complaint about the lack of toilet paper resulted in a maid knocking on the door seconds later. Perhaps oppression has a convenient upside.

    It’s just too bad so many of the ‘progressives’ in the democratic countries of the world, are convinced George W. Bush is the root of all evil.

    Compare that series of photos and captions to this almost nostalgic Time photo essay (although the last caption is pretty funny).

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 01 11 at 08:03 AM • permalink

  34. Attention imperialist dog so-called “Tim” so-called “Blair”. DPRK people are happy to return to scrumptious DPRK cooking.

    DPRK people know how to steer their boats. Aha! Take that imperialist!

    You jealous so-called “Tim” so-called “Blair”. You try to mock world’s most democratic democracy, DPRK - you go too far, jealous man.

    Good world progressives nominate songun blog world’s best blog okay?

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 11 at 08:10 AM • permalink

  35. Go ahead. Make my day.

    Posted by geoff on 2007 01 11 at 08:11 AM • permalink

  36. #31 Hot news!

    Ah, the symbolism… Jimmy Carter never got the shoe onto the other foot quite like that!

    Posted by splice on 2007 01 11 at 08:27 AM • permalink

  37. Big Brudder is watching you!

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 11 at 08:32 AM • permalink

  38. #33 Youtube is your friend.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 11 at 08:34 AM • permalink

  39. #17 Whale spinor I read your comment and broke up. Especially the bit about Keysar claiming the mufti was quoted out of context.

    Then I realised it was true.

    Of course, that makes me laugh harder. These clowns don’t need a script.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 11 at 09:05 AM • permalink

  40. Mmmmm… Rabbit.  I like rabbit.  I hope I’m not turnin’ red.

    This could be good.  If Korea can get nutrition to its population, not just calories, maybe the next generation will have IQs high enough to merit joining the global community. 

    Do they have Iodized salt for everyone?  Rabbit is good with salt.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2007 01 11 at 09:14 AM • permalink

  41. That’s not a rodent…

    This is a rodent!

    Posted by Craig Mc on 2007 01 11 at 09:34 AM • permalink

  42. You gotta be careful around those supposedly “cute” little bunnies.  Remember when Arthur’s brave knights disregarded the wizard Tim’s warnings, and many met their doom?

    Hell, ol’ Kim won’t need nuclear weapons; he can just lob a few great & glorious missiles with deadly rabbit payloads and overrun the South in a few days.  Better start working on a new & improved Holy Hand Grenade.

    Posted by Tex Lovera on 2007 01 11 at 09:39 AM • permalink

  43. Tex,
    Maybe Jimmy Carter can show him where to find one.

    Posted by Craig Mc on 2007 01 11 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  44. #28 geoff -

    Killer rabbits the size of pitbulls on the hunt in packs?

    This is actually the kind of thing that Michael Lonie and Stoop Davy Dave used to develop in the Halliburton laboratories.  They’ve come up with Italian terrorists terriers and Russian squirrels.  But carnivorous rabbits?  I’m not sure about that.

    Yes, I do like this Pmcode.  I call blue font! I call blue font!

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 11 at 09:57 AM • permalink

  45. #44: Yes, I do like this Pmcode.  I call blue font! I call blue font!

    Sniffs disdainfully. Well, if you actually like Herman Goering Comic-Opera Uniform Blue, I suppose it’s perfect.

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 11 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  46. Could someone please explain the advantage of farming, say, 10 10.8Kg rabbits, as opposed to farming 54 2kg rabbits? In both cases you get 108 kg of rabbit, requiring about the same amount of <strike>human food</strike> grass to feed.

    Oh wait a sec, this is North Korea after all. It’s not as if logic and reason were their strongest suits.

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2007 01 11 at 10:45 AM • permalink

  47. I used to have a minilop who had a fondness for human flesh (mine).  Still have the scars. 

    I’ve been trying to train my warren to attack Jimmah Carter on sight, but my rabbits aren’t that crazy. 

    Elizabeth
    Imperial Keeper of Killer Lagomorphs

    Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 01 11 at 10:55 AM • permalink

  48. Could someone please explain the advantage of farming, say, 10 10.8Kg rabbits, as opposed to farming 54 2kg rabbits? In both cases you get 108 kg of rabbit, requiring about the same amount of human food grass to feed.

    There’s probably more usable meat on the 10.8kg rabbits. For one thing, they only have one head, while you’d have 5.4 heads for the equivalent weight in regular-sized bunnies.

    On the flip side, they almost certainly take longer to raise to maturity. And God only knows what problems are lurking in their genes; they were bred for their size, not health.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 01 11 at 11:24 AM • permalink

  49. Slightly OT, but now the Norks are into insurance fraud
    Which begs the question: Who would be stupid enough to sell insurance to a criminal enterprise run by a lunatic?

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 01 11 at 11:34 AM • permalink

  50. I thought Soylent Green™ was people food. (Although even then, the taste varies from person to person.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 11 at 11:37 AM • permalink

  51. Kim wants to be a movie producer: “Night of the Repus.”

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 11 at 11:50 AM • permalink

  52. I thought Soylent Green™ was people food. (Although even then, the taste varies from person to person.)

    Um… and you know this, how?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 11 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  53. Sure, sure, terriers and squirrels are OK, but what about the platoon of glossy black Pit Possums I’ve (still) got loaded in the unmarked 18 wheeler out back?  Code “t"was called. Wronright never did find the code book/necronomicron, and we’re still making do with the Book of Revelation for instructions.

    I’m running out of owls to feed them. Send rabbits. Big ones.

    Posted by kiwinews on 2007 01 11 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  54. Um… and you know this, how?

    Because they said in the Futurama episode that joke came from…

    Posted by jic on 2007 01 11 at 04:39 PM • permalink

  55. I got a free sample, Rebecca, with a case of Slurm™.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 11 at 05:22 PM • permalink

  56. #53, kiwinews:

    I thought we used the neoconicron!?! Crap, another flamethrower sprang a leak and is spraying fire gel all over the warehouse.

    That’s it. I’m depressurizing them all. Next time I’ll wait until “Alpha Increment” is called.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 01 11 at 06:39 PM • permalink

  57. Didn’t the Goodies have an episode about this?

    Posted by Wolfbane on 2007 01 11 at 06:46 PM • permalink

  58. #51. Damn, Richard. If I had a drink I’d need a new keyboard. Again.

    Fark that’s funny!

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 11 at 09:18 PM • permalink

  59. #44
    Dammit Wronwright, you’re not supposed to talk about that.  The last time you started talking about secret projects, trying to impress that floozie in Las Vegas, we had to close down Area 51 and you got transferrred back to waxing black helicopters for three more years.  Remember what Karl said that time: loose neocon lips blast our spaceships.  You’re in a conspiracy, act like it!

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 01 11 at 10:15 PM • permalink

  60. #57
    Ref in #37.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 12 at 12:26 AM • permalink

  61. You’re in a conspiracy, act like it!

    Dang, that’s a great motto.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 12 at 02:54 AM • permalink

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