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SAIL ON
A guest post from the brilliant Gideon Haigh:
I have shared your pleasure in Pasha Bulkermania, as it reminds me of the grand old days of shipwreck tourism. For instance, next year marks the centenary of one of our most popular wrecks, the barque Falls of Halladale. For the month after it grounded on a reef near Peterborough, it became a popular attraction, drawing folk from miles around, fascinated by the ship’s beauty, and also the busy salvage operations. Check out the delighted throng in this photo. Imagine the conversations:
Child: What’s on television, mother?
Mother: Foolish child. At least forty-eight years will elapse before such a fiendish contraption! We’re going to see the Falls of Halladale again ...
Child: But mother, we have seen it twice already. And we saw the Speculant and the La Bella ...
Mother: Hush child! This is the Edwardian era. We must make our own entertainment!
My favourite story of this wreck concerns the second mate, Griffin, who liked Peterborough so much that he bought land there, emigrated, enlisted in the AIF, was wounded at Gallipolli, and returned to live at Banool and Colac where he died in June 1956 - just too soon to see TV sweep shipwrecks away as a form of mass entertainment.
Sail on, mighty Bulker!
RC: maybe they just weren’t taken down? I don’t know much about boats.
If you ask me, shipwrecks are much more entertaining than tv.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 07 03 at 12:50 PM • permalinkA guest post? Such a thing is possible? Where the heck are the application forms? Or is this available only to
notoriousnotable personages?/jealous
Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 03 at 12:58 PM • permalinkI have been off Queensland for the past few weeks and have become very familiar with the waters here. One feature is the imaginatively titled “Wreck Reef,” which the chart notes features “historic shipwrecks.” No information on which ships and why they are historic, though.
At some point in the near future I shall be ashore and have access to WiFi, and expect to find more. I am hoping the wrecks have something to do with Bligh, or maybe the First Fleet. Unless it’s pirates. That would be cool.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 07 03 at 01:33 PM • permalinkSundog: don’t give them any ideas—they already have a fishing channel.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 07 03 at 02:03 PM • permalinkSpeaking of ships, how the heck does a Swiss dude wind up winning, let alone retaining, the Americas Cup - and beating the Kiwis to do it?
We have your opinion do we, then… Mr El Cid?
Insubordination! Clap that man in irons!
The weather is fair on a following breeze. There’s an extra ration of rum in it… all hands aloft and make full sail. We’ll reach port even as we scrub the bottom of this ship and draw her keel across the reef.
Gybe the mizzen! Unfurl the topgallant sails! Set the moonrakers!
Splice the mainbrace!
Most likely trying to float her given the way its rigged. Note the high side sails are pointing away from the mid and aft mast sails. Also, if you unload a ship like that her center of gravity is probably so high that you have to have some rigging just to keep her stable.
I remember working at Maersk when that SAF-Marine ran aground off the African coast. Took months to float her. Not cool when your bulk cargo is stuck on a sandbar. Ah yes, by miracle of Google, the MV Table Bay Harbour. That beast was proper stuck.
As we inland dwellers are sadly shipwreck-deficient, and we no longer have railroads (well, hardly anywhere), we have to make do with truck crashes and pileups. They’re arguably more dramatic than shipwrecks, but harder to get to.
#26 kae:
Actually, in the American Mid-West/West around the turn of the 20th Century, they used to stage train wrecks. Seriously. They’d get two old scrap-bound locomotives, put ‘em on the same track, get up a head of steam, open the throttle, and jump clear.Like the one at Waco, TX in 1896:
“At 5 p.m. the two locomotives, number 999 painted in bright green and number 1001 painted in bright red, set up about a mile from each other. Built in 1870 they weighed 35 tons each and went full throttle at each other. Maximum speed was reached at 90 miles an hour, and they set off cherry bombs laid on the tracks to create small explosions as the trains traveled along. The two trains met ten feet north of the designated impact point, which was close enough according to the engineer’s calculations.
Three explosions followed one after the other. The first explosion was the collision of the engines. The next two explosions were the boilers of each train exploding. Both the photographers and V.I.P.s’ stands were pelted with shrapnel. The official photographer for the event, Jervis Deane of Waco, was hit by a piece of metal that put out his eye and embedded several pieces of metal in his head.”
Of course, they were tougher then. The photographer who lost his eye ran the following advertisement a few weeks later:
“Having gotten all the loose screws and other hardware out of my head, am now ready for all photographic business.”
I’m developing the Grand Unified Theory of Texas which basically states: If it can be driven by man on land a Texan has:
a) shot game from it
b) hijacked it
c) shot other men from it
d) crashed it spectacularly
e) exaggerated the danger involved in all of the above.Any prior or current residents of Texas are welcome to comment/critique.
#8 As I recall, wreck reef was where an expedition led by Matthew Flinders ended up wrecked (there were several ships involved). Was one called cat? or was it cato? I think the other was the dolphin (primary school was a long time ago).
Anyway, the really cool bit is that he rigged up the cutter and sailed all the way to port jackson to organise a rescue.
Sort of like Shackelton, but in tropical waters.Oh, and as I’m on my way to the land of the computer free, happy 4th of July to everyone, and happy Independence Day to my fellow seppoes. Ahh, yes. Independence Day, where we Americans celebrate our God-given right to drink beer and blow shit up. (I’m not sure where the drunken boating fits in, but I think it has something to do w/ John Paul Jones.)
Tim. you are correct in the fascination for ship-wrecks by the general populace. But divers just adore them. Over the past few years, the RO-RO Ferry has provided many a new dive site, such as The Zenobia.
To us, RO-RO means roll-on, roll-over.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 03 at 06:55 PM • permalink#3 I noticed that too. But looking closely, two sets (mast’s worth) are pointing backward while the other set is pointing forward. So, the net effect, given the angle, is to secure the vessel where it is.
So, I guess the sails were deliberately set that way to maintain the vessel safely until there was an opportune moment and conditions to move her off the rocks.
PS I just proof-read my post and noticed what a curious word is “vessel”. Its spelling appears somehow alien to me, an Englishmen. But, I guess it’s one of those bloody Viking words.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 03 at 07:02 PM • permalinkTo all.
Tomorrow, we in the U.S. celebrate our freedom, from tyranny. It also extends to those that we in some small way, (at times large way) assisted freedom, such as ours, to others.
OZ, thank you for being such a great ally.
Tonight for the 32nd year in a row, the small burg of Gatlin, will kick things off with our midnight parade and fireworks show.
May freedom ring.
#8 Steve Skubinna,
I’ve been up that way, and down there too. The best trip to take is the Nimrod, during the month of November. It is a two week trip and goes to places no-one else does. WAAAAyyyy remote. Just cool, baby.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 03 at 07:05 PM • permalink#12 Yes, Paco, we are all perplexed by the might of the Swiss navy.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 03 at 07:06 PM • permalink#39 No Entropty, Flinders had a pet cat.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 03 at 07:13 PM • permalinkLacking further posts until the morn, being as this web site is from the Antipodes, I can only wish absolution upon the yanks for their terrible, and wrong-headed, rebellion.
I know you regret it, but are too proud to admit it.
So, good luck to you, fellow member of the Anglosphere.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 03 at 07:19 PM • permalink#38, El Cid. Thanks for the sentiments, I had the pleasure of visiting Gatlinburg about two years ago in early spring. It is a magic place, my better half who is a daughter of the Confederacy wanted to show me the Smokey Mountains, beautiful. Around every curve there seemed to be another post card shot. Have a great day El Cid, we sort of celebrated here in Perth on Sunday.
The collision, intended as publicity for the railroad
Some things never change - ad guys still do drugs!
It is 4th of July here, now, so we are shouting our yankee uni grad work experience student morning tea- I’ll try and get him to eat some vegemite, followed by egg nog from bundy rum. Well, not really - would you believe little pastry pies, assorted lollies, cakes, cheese platter and chips?
On topic!
I think the main reason this ship was so well publicised was its name “Pasher Bulker” was just so damn sexy. All the copy writers wanted their hot female news readers to say “Pasher Bulker” and have now made seedy tapes of their renditions repeated in various speeds and mixed with various images. (don’t ask what this says about me! - just pass em the tape)
Saddest part was being told it wasn’t coming to brissie - with greenies expressing concern it may leak pollution. Do these people ever leave home?
Re #19, yeah, it’s O/T, but still deserves a very loud WTF?!?!?!?!!?
“Human greed takes lion’s share of solar energy”
That headline makes you think that we’re covering the planet with solar panels, and denying the poor plants a decent dose of sunlight.
Then you read it, and discover that us greedy humans are chowing down on the majority of plant life (most of which is in fact a natural solar energy collector), and denying other species a chance to sit at the table:
An agriculture professor at the University of Melbourne, Snow Barlow, said the paper showed humans were taking up too much of an important natural resource.
“Here we are, just one species on the earth, and we’re grabbing a quarter of the renewable resources … we’re probably being a bit greedy.”
Oh, such chutzpah! Those humans, what will they do next?
And, yes, the envirotards are parodying themselves again. On this topic, us mere RWDBs can do more than kneel in their shadows.
More hilariously, the article was written by one Chee Chee Leung, The Age’s “science reporter”, whose qualifications for said position appear to be a journalism degree and the ability to bounce between beats. Imagine that, a science reporter without a technical background, writing about her fellow greedy humans.
Dear Chee Chee, are you prepared to give up your morning porridge for the wild beasts? What will you sacrifice for Mother Gaia™!!?!?!?!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 03 at 08:10 PM • permalinkHappy 4th of July! Blow some stuff up for me!
Posted by SouthernCrusader on 2007 07 03 at 08:42 PM • permalinkBlow some stuff up for me!
I wish I could, SouthernCrusader, but, alas, the nanny staters have done away with the Good Stuff, as evidenced here. I used to build models of airplanes just to blow them up.
All we have left are poofie displays of pyrotechnics. Pretty, but the KA-BOOM!! just ain’t there.
So I think I’ll send lead downrange instead. Almost as much fun!!!
Happy July 4th, people! Happy Birthday, USA!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 03 at 08:50 PM • permalink#15- I’ve licked the cat and it tasted awful, perhaps it’s just had a flea bath. (I bet you were al expecting some dreadful double entendre’ about a pussy, delivered in Mrs Slocombe style- not on your nelly, this isn’t a highbrow ABC comedy show).
The whole southern coast of Australia from Pt Lincoln east is a graveyard of ships, especially clippers in the 1800s; they only guide for the entrance to Pt Phillip bay was the lighthouses on Cape Otway and Cape Wickham (King Island in Bass Strait) built in the early 1860s; skippers had to spot both then try to line up between the two, all the while in the grip of the roaring 40s and travelling at a fair old lick; that’s if they weren’t in one of the regular gales that make Bass St one of the nastiest stretches of water in the world.
Before the lighthouses it was even worse. Qlds coast doesn’t have the same nasty weather (except for cyclones) but it does have a bloody great series of reefs that extend for 2600kms- combined with shallow water inside the reefs and it’s about as much fun to navigate as Buffalo Bills basement.
Sometimes you don’t need crook weather or coral to beach a ship- the Anro Asia went up on the top end of Bribie Island near Caloundra in 1981 when the pilot (allegedly well refreshed by the crew) missed the Cape Moreton turn buoy and backed it up the beach; We didn’t mind as we spent the next few weeks on rotation at Caloundra keeping the ship under surveillance from the front bar of the Pearl Hotel or the Power Boat Club, and supervising the lift of containers from the deck by RAAF Chinooks. (The Anro was crewed by the Seafarers Union then, so was regarded justifiably as high risk).
Here’s a list of ships that went up just on the Barrier Reef.
#12 Paco
The swiss beat the kiwis by cunningly hiring the best kiwis.
so really it was NZ “A” def NZ “B” 5-2
Posted by anonymous guest on 2007 07 03 at 09:22 PM • permalinkI LOVE shipwrecks! How I laughed when Leonardo di Caprio died!
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 03 at 09:31 PM • permalink#19-via-#49:
Most stunning was that the article (and apparently the authors of the “study”) ignored/memoryholed the fact that much of that plant life we greedy humans are busily devouring wouldn’t even exist if we didn’t plant it in the first place.
From the last line quoted (the “we’re just one species, but oh-so-greedy” stuff), I can only conclude that these idiots are from the anarcho-greenie wing that believes things can only improve if significant developed areas were to revert to wilderness.
Re#54- the Bribie Passage is also a hazardous stretch, as I managed to toal a 25HP tunnel hull there in the 1976 Brisbane to Caloundra powerboat race when 16 years old. I think I hit an empty beer bottle or a turtle, as afterwards when the wreckage was recovered a whole sponson had been torn off (which may also have happened during the barrel roll the boat went through). Sitting on barely submerged wreckage for an hour or so before being towed to shore wan’t a highlight of my brief racing career (especially when I was leading the class at that stage). Just as well I was sponsored by a pissartist boat dealer in rockhampton at the time.
We built a new 12” boat with decking made from aircraft dope and a surreptitiously modified engine upon return to home and won the 1977 title at Sth Grafton- should’ve realised then that chicanery pays and become a RWDB on the spot. We also stole a trophy known as “the bus stop”, which was a Sydney bus stop that’d been reefed out of the footpath outside the boat club at Cabarita in the 1950s and carried away by some drunken aqua hoons from Melbourne and set in a drum of concrete. Every year thereafter it was on display, and awaiting being swiped by a club who would affix their own plaque to signify successfully swiping it. We grabbed it and hurled it in the boot of the GTHO Falcon my sponsor owned at the time and was using as the tow wagon, and took to the streets of Grafton.
A lengthy high-speed drunken pursuit followed, where it is amazing no-one rolled on a silent cop- back out our motel a brief scuffle ensued but we retained the prize.
These days such boyish highjinks would see you arrested, incarcerated, delicenced and shamed on a “current affairs” show by some po-faced, over-dressed, sanctimonious bint.
#53, TRJ:
We interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast for a message to our friends in the resistance.
The cow is in the pasture. I repeat. The welder has gone kabang.
(translation: filling gal. sized plastic milk bottles with acetylene makes plenty good boomage for a proper, traditional (pre-occupation) 4th.
Don’t exercise such maneuvers in urban areas unless funds on hand sufficient to reimburse neighbors for any cracked or broken windows.)Happy Fourth of July
Hey America!
You’re so fine!
You’re so fine you blow my mind!
America!Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 03 at 09:45 PM • permalinkHappy July 4, I suppose.
But what has America ever done for me?
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 03 at 10:06 PM • permalinkI’ve rather enjoyed laughing at America over the years. They’re such an uncouth bunch of fuckers.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 03 at 10:14 PM • permalinkThe late Jack Loney, who wrote several books about shipwrecks off the south-west Victorian coast, told a wonderful tale about the wreck of The Fiji off Moonlight Head in 1891. The ship’s cargo included hundreds of crates of whisky which was targeted by small-holding settlers—many of Irish stock—in the surrounding district. I’m relying on memory but Loney quotes Detective Christie (in the area hunting Irish bootleggers)who came across a group of drunk Irishmen in the thick bush inland from Moonlight Head. The group had a huge haul of salvaged whisky and a grand piano with only two legs. Every so often they would pause, and while one kept the piano horizontal, another would play it and the rest would dance jigs between swigs. Needless to say, Christie who couldn’t catch a cold, let alone moonshiners, was horrified.
As much as I abhor American imperialism in all its forms, I must confess the jiggly bits on Bay Watch were good. So was the Banana Splits cartoon. Man that rocked!
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 03 at 10:42 PM • permalinkThis in no way excuses the excesses of US aggression, however…
One banana, two banana, three banana, four
something or other, something or other, something maybe more
tralala tralalala tralala tralala la…Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 03 at 10:51 PM • permalinkOther great “American” shows:
Mash, The West Wing, I Hate America With All My Heart But It’s Kept Me In Coke And Hookers*
*Might have the title slightly wrong.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 03 at 11:01 PM • permalinkYou know what I really loved? The Jetsons.
Judy Jetson was a total Betty.
Still waiting on my hovercar and dressing machine.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 03 at 11:06 PM • permalinkThanks, kae for #56! BUAWHAHAHAHAHA!!! I bookmarked that page for future use…..
Re #62, thanks for the idea, Grimmy, but I would have drive FAR out of town to make that ka-boom, alas, even with any device that I might assemble from my somewhat rusty military training.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 03 at 11:15 PM • permalink#80 and #83 It’s all good.
Strikes me that not so long ago there were always TV shows and movies with good guys and bad guys: nazis and allies, cowboys and injuns etc
Slap me down if I’m wrong, but I haven’t seen many jihadist vs the West films or TV shows lately
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 03 at 11:22 PM • permalink#81: Couldn’t stand Mash, with its bumper crop of planted axioms:
1) Chinese communists: hostile, but reasonable folk;
2) South Korean military: bad, authoritarian;
3) Truman=Stalin
4) Proto-Hippies
5) Republicans: see “South Korean military”
6) Anemic, weak-chinned, stringy-haired Allan Alda = babe magnet
7) Weepy Colonel Potter
The episode that made me really want to reach for my revolver was the one in which Hawkeye goes storming into the conference room where the stalled peace negotiations are in progress and throws down the guantlet of liberal fury before the (obviously) morally equivalent allies and North Koreans sitting on opposite sides of the table.
Oh, yes, and this little scene: The bombs are dropping near the surgery tent and Klinger exclaims, “Damn Stalin, Truman . . . whoever!”
America must be a great nation to have been able to withstand all the damage it has sustained from its artistic termites.
PW (regarding #59), I missed that aspect of their “study”, but I plead temporary ignorance, gained from reading that mind numbingly stupid article.
I couldn’t decide which was worse: the silly attempt to accuse humanity of sucking the sun dry by eating a bowl of cornflakes everyday; the pathetically obvious attempt to get people to abandon their standard of living to save the earth (”Do it for the plants, people!”); or the appalling combination of ignorance, arrogance, and a journalism degree to produce a “science article”.
Add on the moniker of “Chee Chee Leung”, and it’s impossible not to walk away after reading that article talking to yourself.
Seriously: how are people like Chee Chee and her editors (not to mention those “scientists” she quoted) able to survive in a technological society? They must have a handler to help them get through the day, up to and including wiping their bum*.
=================================
* If you Ozzies will excuse a Seppo for using Australian jargon, of course.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 03 at 11:27 PM • permalinkpash
An australian slang term for kissing with a tongue. Equavalent to the Brittish ‘snog’. Abbreviated from the term ‘passionate kiss’
eg. ‘Last night, I pashed a gorgeous guy at a party.’
bulker
Someone who makes a living from sending out spam emails. A new breed is an SMS bulker, tired of falling replies from email spam, have moved on to attacking cellphones.
I used to be an experienced “bulker” before I got sued by AOL and Verizon
#19 The very fact that the other species exist suggests they have access to exactly the amount they need of the Sun’s energy captured by plants.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 01:26 AM • permalinkHappy Independence Day to all Americans!
As for that article about us humans using too much sun???? Geez what a load of crap!
I want to see data please - some scientific facts please even if I can’t understand them
Not a column which explains nothing
Go the Blues!
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 07 04 at 01:46 AM • permalinkAnd Gideon Haigh is a wonderful writer!
During the Ashes series last year, he wrote great stuff on the cricinfo site
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 07 04 at 02:12 AM • permalink#90 1.618
I used to be an experienced “bulker” before I got sued by AOL and Verizon
You are joking, aren’t you?
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 02:34 AM • permalinkRe: the Banana Splits. I was simultaneously thrilled and chilled by Danger Island. Those ooga-booga savages the pants off me as a little kid - Haven’t seen anything like it since until Peter Jackson’s King Kong and that Pirates of the Caribbean sequel came along. These days they wouldn’t allow Danger Island to be shown to kids.
btw, Happy Independence Day to our American readers.
Re: the Banana Splits. I was simultaneously thrilled and chilled by Danger Island. Those ooga-booga savages scared the pants off me as a little kid - Haven’t seen anything like it since until Peter Jackson’s King Kong and that Pirates of the Caribbean sequel came along. These days they wouldn’t allow Danger Island to be shown to kids.
btw, Happy Independence Day to our American readers.
Re: the Banana Splits. I was simultaneously thrilled and chilled by Danger Island. Those ooga-booga savages scared the pants off me as a little kid - Haven’t seen anything like it since until Peter Jackson’s King Kong and that Pirates of the Caribbean sequel came along. These days they wouldn’t allow Danger Island to be shown to kids.
btw, Happy Independence Day to our American readers.
Especially Uh Oh Chongo, fucking weirdo. him and that beardy git in the safari suit- looked like some sort of fashion-challenged jihadi.
My fav, in those long ago days, was Johnny Quest
#102 Hilarious name. Were the condoms ever found?
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 03:09 AM • permalink#104 Hadn’t heard that one. I meant rubber johnny.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 03:31 AM • permalink#106 Ahh shit, wrong link, but you know what I mean.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 04:12 AM • permalink#111, JonathanH:
Oh to be as you. One of the little people. Free of the cares and worries of global empire. Concerned only for the world as it exists to the extent of your eye’s view.
You are blessed in not knowing the stress and pressure of having millions, or even hundreds of millions of individual hopes and dreams riding on each and every one of the endless reports and papers that must be filed all day long, every day.
But, then again, I’m so full of fecal matter at the moment that I can hardly see to type.
#105 I loved Cecil! He had a kickass version of “Raggmopp” that I remember. Couldn’t find it on the great and wonderful ‘tube, so I present this instead. (If anyone is still reading this thread.)
Posted by dean martin on 2007 07 04 at 09:01 AM • permalinkWhen drilling and fighting get them down
They know their morale won’t droop
As long as they all relax in town
Before they resume
With a bang and a boom—
F TROOP!#
By Bay Watch, I mean, specifically, the slow motion “jiggly run” parts of the show. Not the rather lame and drool attempts at drama or acting.
That’s why they had the bald guy with the mustache. SOMEONE had to do the dialogue.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 04 at 11:14 AM • permalink#87 God, so true…. That show nauseated me by the time I was 16. And who was that right-wing straw-man again?
Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 07 04 at 11:59 AM • permalink#118: There was a Colonel (or was it Captain?) Flag, a CIA paramilitary who was portrayed as cruel and stupid. And of course, Major Burns, the hypocritical weasel who was fooling around with Major Houlihan. All so typical of Hollywood; they have yet to portray concervatives as anything other than caricatures.
That’s it - Major Burns. And naturally he was a bad doctor.
Rivalled only by Good Morning Vietnam in its smug, backslapping, easy-answers audience gratification.
Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 07 04 at 12:30 PM • permalink
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An original, amusing, delightful and thoughtful way of looking at it.
Farewell, old Bulker.