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SCOOTER FLANNERY
An Age alarmist activities update:
What does the Australian of the Year, Tim Flannery, do in his spare time? He writes another book. But not one espousing the science of climate change.
Rather, it’s a work of fiction ...
Rather? Oh, tee hee! (Do read on for this elegant avoidance of the f-word: “Most of it was penned at 35,000 feet while the Melbourne-born university professor, one of the world’s most eminent and engaging advocates for action on global warming, scooted between speaking engagements ...”) Meanwhile, despite all of Flannery’s carbon scootering, Indian glaciers keep multiplying:
The present number of glaciers at 84, with the mapping exercise still underway to find about out more ice caps in the state has grown by about four times over the past six years ...
Why, they’re even outpacing local dam levels.
I dunno. Is a person who talks like this - “To be frank, sometimes I wake up in the morning and think ‘S—-, this is not going to happen’, and other times you think that it will. I suppose I try to do away with those feelings. You can’t afford to be either. I think it’s a matter of trying just to do your best to make sure the required things happen.” - likely to possess the artistic talent necessary to write an enthralling novella? Perhaps, but color me “skeptical”.
It would be easy to be brooding and bleak about the challenges, but Dr Flannery claims to be neither pessimistic nor optimistic. “To be frank, sometimes I wake up in the morning and think ‘S—-, this is not going to happen’, and other times you think that it will. I suppose I try to do away with those feelings
The debates over. The science is in. Quit your doubting ways, Flimflannery.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 01 13 at 09:51 PM • permalinkIsn’t “scooting” what dogs do when they have worms?
And now the mental images of Flannery scooting between speaking engagements just came in… ewww. Not pretty.
Posted by blandwagon on 2008 01 13 at 09:59 PM • permalinkHmm…
Dr Flannery continues to talk evangelistically of the potential of concentrated photovoltaic solar energy systems, of geothermal and bio-mass alternatives, all the subject of myriad research projects and investigations
“Big George” Pell had something to say about this sort of thing. I’ll take his Eminence over the FlanBot any day of the week.
Posted by Renegade Lawyer on 2008 01 13 at 10:30 PM • permalinkThe novella of 50,000 words
Let’s see. At 250 words per page, that’s 200 pages, and, I suspect, not a bon mot amongst them.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 01 13 at 10:43 PM • permalink#2 Thanks for the larf, Paco. Yes it doesn’t quite convey the same sense of existential insecurity as To be or not to be
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 01 13 at 10:49 PM • permalinkDr Flannery wants economist Ross Garnaut to set an aggressive target for reductions in greenhouse gas emissions by 2030 with an escalating cost on carbon, starting somewhere around $20 to $30 a tonne, but rising in the near future to “a best estimate” $70 a tonne.
Problem is, old chap, the price of carbon has always dropped like a stone when such schemes are implemented. reason?: No one wants it, except makers of fire extinguishers and greenhouse operators.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 01 13 at 10:57 PM • permalinkWant to see my glacier photographs everyone?
Why not, what have you got, 1.618?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 01 13 at 11:00 PM • permalinkFlannery’s “hero”, not unexpectedly, comes to a premature end, “but it’s what happens to his body after he dies that is the nub of the story”, says Dr Flannery, with a hint of mystery.
“In a sense, it’s about what it really means to belong. He’s buried in a very unorthodox manner.”
The coveted Paco “Haw!” goes to the commenter who comes up with the best ending.
As the presenter of the award, my own entry is naturally ineligible, but I offer it to get the ball rolling:
The body of Flannery’s protagonist - a smoker and a drinker according to the article - is processed into suppository capsules and sold as a simultaneous cure for nicotine and alcohol dependency.
Do we know whether the Old Flummers proposes to actually print this useless bit of fluff, otherwise known as his ‘novel’ on paper? - on paper made from, you know, wood? And on a printing press even, run by electricity even?
And delivered to bookstores in gulp! - trucks and flown by airmail to far flung destinations?
Or will it be a ‘novel’ only available online - where the only abuser is the reader and his electricity to run the computer?
And how does old Flummers propose to get to China this year? Walk? Any bets his trip (funded by the University no doubt), will just happen to coincide with the Olympics.
What a trickster.
Oh BTW, The Australian, which has gone absolutely bonkers on GW / CC, tells us that the
Antarctic is MELTING!
..................................January 14, 2008
GLOBAL warming has caused annual ice loss from the Antarctic ice sheet to surge by 75 per cent in a decade, according to the most detailed survey ever made of the white continent’s coastal glaciers.In 2006, accelerating glaciers spewed an estimated 192 billion tonnes of Antarctic ice into the sea, scientists calculate.
...................................
I thought the melting point of ice was above 32 deg. F (0 deg. C)???.... and it never, ever, ever gets that warm down there!
And he hints that he could prove just as much a burr in the saddlecloth of the Rudd Government as he was for the former prime minister, John Howard.
Really? That’s pretty even handed of him/sarcasm.
Meanwhile, Dr Flannery continues to talk evangelistically
I wonder if he’d spoken evangelistically about the virgin birth or other such matters whether the Age would be so supportive.
The rise in the number of glaciers belied the impact of the global warming phenomena in this region with the scientist pointing out that the impact of global warming has never been a factor in the climate of the border state with the state being landlocked and surrounded by the mountainous landscape on all sides.
Huh? I guess it’s not a factor because it’s hard for eco-crusaders to get there business class in a 747.
Indian glaciers? Man, those guys’ll outsource anything.
Posted by localharbor on 2008 01 14 at 01:10 AM • permalink“but it’s what happens to his body after he dies that is the nub of the story”, says Dr Flannery..
A scenario for his demise comes to mind:
Quixote Antitex, the hero, accidentally finds himself astride the new Anti-CO2 nuclear bomb,invented by the genius Dr Tom Flimsy, as it hurtles toward the middle of Texas to save humanity from President Kapital Kabal and his Evil World Destroyers in that land.
‘Yeeeeee Haaaa!’ Quixote cries, knowing he is finally entering the heart of darkness for a Very Good Cause.
Now read on..Did anyone read in Sat.SMH Domain where Andrew Denton and Jennifer Byrne have sold their beachfront Pearl Beach house for $3.8m because they are concerned what impact Global Warming will have on the town? Don’t people have scruples anymore? How can they live with themselves when they have sold something they believe will be under water some time soon.I guess $3.8m will be a comfort.
14 - 1.618
When I was in nz last nov, I was shown where the glaciers were 100 years ago and where they had retreated to since. The glaciers move forward about 6 metres a day, but also melt, meaning they can shrink to be smaller than the movement forward.
As I understand it, it all depends on the amount of snowfall, which compacts into glacial ice. Their last few years have been ordinary, hence it is smaller than say 10 years ago.
I did not hear it was increasing, so that is interesting.
and please link the photos - we can have a vote off on the best franz joseph photo (I didn’t make it onto Fox).
41 Peter, I’m making a mini movie, then I’ll utube it for all YOU Blairy bloggers to enjoy! You’ll love my ice climbing photographs.
I want to live there now. Sydney looks a dump. On the other hand I can understand why NZ’s leave the country as the wages appear VERY low. However, I’m under a spell by the mountains.
#28; I think I’ve got it. The clue is in that incomprehensible bit about people not having houses and can live better without concrete. His body is the first to be delivered to the Processors of Anthropic Concrete for Occupancy.
Posted by dean martin on 2008 01 14 at 02:14 AM • permalinkTo be frank, sometimes I wake up in the morning and think ‘S—-, this is not going to happen’, and other times you think that it will. I suppose I try to do away with those feelings. You can’t afford to be either.
Now, I am no more a medical doctor than is Dr Flan, but I have it on good authority that this sort of difficulty with language is a sure sign of dementia.
Not surprising really. Three common causes of dementia are hypoxia, dehydration and excess booze. All three conditions prevail in aircraft cabins at 35,000 feet.1.618, I’m looking forward to your NZ travelogue. Be sure to tell us when it’s ready!
Posted by spot_the_dog on 2008 01 14 at 03:39 AM • permalinkIt was a dark and stormy night .... Nar, that’s a bit predictable. Hmmm. The ruggedly handsome zoologoist looked out upon ... damn, sounds too autobiographical ... It was the hottest of times; it was the coldest of times ... no, that’s a bit too much like Shakespeare. Just can’t get that opening line. Pilot, keep flying. Dunno where. Land and get fuel and take off again if you have to but I must write this book at 35,000 feet. Bob Brown slid out of his wet clothes and stared at me deliciously... again with the autobiography ...
Old Flummery in his dotage will have a lot of explaining to do.
How will he reason to his grandchildren that his theories still aren’t making sense.
Even the ABC may have abandoned him.
Will the speaker’s circuits demand their monies back?
Will someone need counselling?
Maybe HE’LL know where Bryli is?
#33 Bonmot,
Ice melts under pressure. With a temperature rise you get more melting. So you end up with a layer of melt water between glacier/icesheet and rock. This provides lubrication and speeds the journey to the sea.
BTW, it does get too cold for snow in parts of the world. Temperature rises you get more snow. More snow that stays on the ground means more snow that can be compacted into ice. Which, BTW, is a drawn out process of melting and refreezing. Which is aided by higher temperatures. Aint it funny how things work out?
Posted by mythusmage on 2008 01 14 at 06:35 AM • permalinkThe coveted Paco “Haw!” goes to the commenter who comes up with the best ending.
It was a dark and stormy night. The sour and clabbered skies above Brisbane roiled with seething black clouds, lashing the streets of that malignant metropolis with the scourge of Gaia’s raging tears. But not even the purifying fire of that holy fluid could scour clean that city of sin, that village of vice, that conurbation of catastrophe, that borough of baseness, that very municipality of misdeeds, of the black brands of badness that burned invisibly and yet oh so brightly.
Behind the drought-stricken dams, the storm waters roiled and seethed darkly, surging, straining mightily against the concrete fetters that heedless and arrogant humanity sought to bind about the power of nature’s wrath and subjugate it to their own cruel, blind will to feed their endless, insatiable thirst for power, power, always more power!
And the wind, the wind, Gaia’s very breath as she ululated in umbrage, howled unheard through the graveyard. It lashed the dark trees into a roiling, seething frenzy and plucked at the snappy fedora of the shadowy man who stood in their dark, woody shadows watching the rainy rage pour down upon the ute parked nearby. Its headlights and fog lights blazed like day, slashing through the slashing storm spew and the engine growled and grumbled powerfully.
Within, Traceeee shivered in her PETA t-shirt, hemp skirt, and birkenstocks. “Turn up the heat, Tony,” she caviled cattily, “global warming is making it freezing in here.”
“It’s up as high as it’ll go,” her companion riposted roguishly.
“Are you sure it’ll work?” she fretted frantically, whinging and wringing her hands. “He dedicated his life to fighting the doom those Blairite carbon-mongers were bringing upon our fair, fragile planet. It would be a tragic injustice if the gases released by his rotting carcass were to hasten that inevitable, yet preventable, fate.”
“That Wron guy from Premier Antediluvian Corpse Obliteration seemed pretty confident.”
Lightning flashed stormily, illuminating the dark night and the boxy callbox that bulked suddenly in front of hulking vehicle. “Oh, here, he’s back.”
#55 “Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought that was pretty smart.” —Doug Adams
Posted by spot_the_dog on 2008 01 15 at 06:58 PM • permalink
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Yes but Flannery’s flights are important, not like all the little people whose travel is wasteful and excessive. There was a story that I saw yesterday that seems relevant to the Flannerys of this world, “Survey show eco-warriors are worst polluters”.
I call this the “Bono Effect”.