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SOME FOLKS’LL NEVER FALL FOR SCAMS, BUT THEN AGAIN SOME FOLKS’LL
From the state that brought you Kevin, The Boy Who Lived in a Car™:
A Queensland family has been fleeced of more than $1.3 million in an elaborate variation of a scam that persuades people to part with large sums of money so they can retrieve an overseas inheritance, police say.
The fraud has become known as the Nigerian 419 scam.
They’re from Nigeria, and they’re here to help. Perhaps our northern mates can explain why this always happens to Queenslanders.
I’ll wager they moved here from Victoria. They’re natural born suckers- blindly greedy, gullible and not too bright.
We’ve been flogging them fetid, malarial swampland which’ll be under 20 feet of shark, stinger and crocodile infested water when
global warmingclimate change seriously kicks in for obscene prices, and left them in the care of the village idiot of Mareeba, empowered to tax them back to the stone age.Meanwhile we’re buying up their undervalued properties down south, which’ll have a lovely climate in 20 years time.
Three words:
State. Of. Origin.
/smug
Anyway, it is widely acknowledged up here that anyone who gives their money to Nigerians deserves to be poor.As for Larvatus Prodeo, ugh. They must be some of the strange creatures thay scurry around the inner city. Most of us try and avoid them.
And we’ve gone off Kevni too. So things aren’t too bad up here! Apart from the state opposition of course. But even there, we can look foward to a Liberal government by, ooh, 2068 at the latest.
#5 - Ash, all the bloody states re-elected labour pratts, no wonder Nigeria targets us for the fools that the left are. (Not me, all of my savings are tied up in property in Sydney, (a bridge a music hall and a lovely quiet laneway.)
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 16 at 04:49 AM • permalink#4. Habib. Well put, to see the pathetic groveling and greed that has overcome Victoria these past few years, it really is pathetic. If some of them can get something on the cheap and for nothing ergo; Nigerian Scams, some of them will do it, or if caught ‘fiddling the books’, they suddenly contract a ‘gambling addiction’.
Aarrgghh! Margo Kingston’s a Queenslander too? Along with Kevin Rudd, Maxine McKew, Russ Hinze, Joh Bjelke-Petersen…
My great grandparents were Queenslanders, so I thank God for Pat Rafter and Keith Urban who to some extent counteract the others!
Oh, and Rod Laver, Steve Irwin (though born in Melbourne). Trying to think of others…
#11 Ash, at least Naomi is OK to look at, it could have been worse.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 16 at 05:09 AM • permalink#13 - Ash, now that is just plain sick, I was being funny - that pic has set my therapy back about 10 visits.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 16 at 05:26 AM • permalinkSee, that’s what they get for being suckered by a Nigerian scam. On the other hand, there are some perfectly authentic income producing arrangements out there. Just last week I was contacted by a company called Perfectly Authentic Contest Offers that notified me that I won $10 million in gold bullion in an Australian lottery. I didn’t even know Australia had a lottery.
Anyway I wired them $10,000 to cover some perfectly authentic handling fees. I can’t wait to get my hands on that gold! I think I’ll tell Karl he can stick his wax buffing rag up his arse. I’m rich. Rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 06 16 at 05:29 AM • permalinkAnd Andrea! Since I’m filthy rich, you must comply with my orders. Including:
- from now on, I wants dibs to first comment. Yes, I realize El Cid is usually waiting, watching the computer screen for Tim to post a comment, just so he can comment first. But because I’m extremely rich now, I want you to jury rig the software to bump him to comment #2. In fact, if you can do it so that he cries as a result, that might make me throw a gold coin your way.
—I want my Zulu spear back. And I want you to hand it to me in a prostrated manner. A heartfelt expression of sorrow and contrition would be well placed.
—I want this blog’s colors to change. I’m sick of blue. Blue blue blue. It’s so 2006. I want happy colors. Fuscia. Teal. Lemon. And I want it pronto.
—I want different commenters here. The ones we have think they’re so fucking smart. Can I once, just once, make a comment without having the likes of Mentalfloss or Crittenden outline in detail why I’m wrong. If I say it, I want the comments to rush to their keyboards to comment how my comment was so insightful. And manly and virile. And they want to have my baby. I’m referring to the lady commenters of course. In fact, you can just get rid of all male commenters. We don’t need them.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 06 16 at 05:46 AM • permalinkOn the subject of scams have a look at this story:
A teacher from Haverfordwest broke down in court yesterday as she told a jury how she was fooled in to having sex with a Syrian-born airline pilot, but denied fabricating the events that lead to the allegation….
Sbano, 38, is accused of fooling the woman into allowing him to administer a special ointment using the end of his penis, after the woman discovered a rash of white spots between her legs….
“It was to be inserted into me. He (Sbano) said a BUPA nurse would have to insert it inside me but the cost of this nurse would be a lot.
“Fadi said that his method of application would have benefits because it would not be costly and would be softer than a blunt metal instrument.”
She said before each session Sbano would telephone Ibby for instructions and depending on how deep the application needed to be, sex would take place in different positions.
About a year or so ago I received spam from something called the “Sunsweet Lottery” which claimed I’d won millions but needed my bank account, a handling fee yadda, yadda, yadda.
I noticed the address for the company offices was 10 Northumberland Avenue. As that was just off Trafalgar Square and not far out of my way in downtown London, I determined to seek out these “offices” when I had the opportunity and see what was there, if anything.
As you will have no doubt already surmised, there were no offices.
For that matter, the address 10 Northumberland Avenue did not even exist.
There is a 9 Northumberland Avenue though.
It’s the Nigerian High Commission.
Go figure.
Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2007 06 16 at 06:20 AM • permalinkKieran Perkins, Grant Hackett, Greg Norman, Bert Hinkler, Sir Charles Kingsford-Smith, also Kerry O’Brien… whoops, I think I went a bit too far.
Posted by Steve at the pub on 2007 06 16 at 06:34 AM • permalink#17. “how my comment was so insightful…”
By golly wronwright, that’s inciteful all right, you’ve certainly incited me, yes you have!!!
Don’t know about having your babies - sure, I love experimenting but I generally go for guys over eighteen.
And they say two wrons don’t make a wright! Ha!
Nebbishes!Posted by carpefraise on 2007 06 16 at 06:42 AM • permalink#25 - Ash, does that make butch “lurlene”?
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 16 at 06:58 AM • permalinkAsh - you’re right of course it was Brandine.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 16 at 07:06 AM • permalink# 30 and Brandine has principles, butch doesn’t.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 16 at 07:36 AM • permalink#32 but you would like to try, you know you want too…...
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 16 at 08:11 AM • permalink#17. Oooooh, Wronwright…..you are sooo manly and virile….
swoons…..
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 16 at 08:33 AM • permalinkI was born in qld, and in my defence, must say my parents had to choose between canada and brisbane
they chose wisely
sorry wimpy*
ps true story - when they emigrated they had to choose between Australia and Canada. They knew a few folks who came here, and here they came.
Yeah, I get calls from clients asking if this could be legit - I say - how many people with millions of dollars have trouble opening a bank account? They go ... but it sounds so real - My head starts hitting the desk, and the client asks me if I’m ok. I say look - rather than give them your money, go buy a lotto ticket and sleep well. Seriously these people actually think a person can email them but cannot operate a bank account.
My question is this - how do dumb people get so much money to lose it so stupidly - do they get it off dumber people? Where do the dumber people get it from?
JUST HOW DUMB DO PEOPLE GET?
#7
Hey, snap surfmaster! My money is tied up in that same bridge (warning, bloody huge file, a panorama shot), a block of flats and half of Tasmania.
I think our moolah’s in good hands….Sure, wron, I’ll get right on all that. As soon as I finish counting this pile of money.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 06 16 at 08:50 AM • permalinkWell, there’s a problem. I already have two definite auditionees, however, they have encumbrances. Ahem.
So the auditions haven’t started yet.
One’s a qualified motor mechanic.
The other’s an ex-millionaire (twice, or was that thrice?)
Anyway, they know who they are!
*sigh*
So, I’ll just have to wait and see.
Hey, remember the LOL (Little old lady) on the roof image?
OK
Picture:
LOL. Mowing. Queensland.
Cane toads are tipped out of a movable downpipe on the weeds that pass for lawn up here.
I’m asked what to do about it. “You run them over.”
LOL running over cane toads with unbridled glee.
Now THAT was funny.eeeeeeewwww.
If I say it, I want the comment[er]s to rush to their keyboards to comment how my comment was so insightful. And manly and virile. And they want to have my baby.—me
I said my comments would be so insightful as to move the ladies into expressing their heartfelt desire to want to have my baby. Because of my manly and virile comment. That does not mean they can have my baby. Oh no no.
(wronwright looks out the window, wondering why Jesse has showed up holding a very large stick)
Posted by wronwright on 2007 06 16 at 09:01 AM • permalinkawww kae, I want photos os the cane toad massacree, thats gotta be worth a laugh or two.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 16 at 09:17 AM • permalinkDon’t worry kae, i will get mileage out of her anyway.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 16 at 09:23 AM • permalinkO/T
Just before I go to bed, finally reading today’s papers.
The Australian.
On the front page, under the masthead,Inquirer
Is disability a laughing matter?It is in reference to the article entitled: Dissenting dons out in the cold.
The illustration for this is Little Britain’s Lou and Andy. Now, the disabled one in this duo is not really disabled, and that’s what makes it funny.
I think that The Australian has missed the point!#16 Wronwright: Why not just display your picture and remove all doubt?
#54 Paco
The Ambling Alp, n’est-ce pas?
Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 06 16 at 03:25 PM • permalinkNora and I must come to the defence of Queensland.
Yes, we did win the State of Origin.
Yes, we do have the most beautiful women in the country.
Yes, we do have the best beaches, bush and rainforest in the country.
Yes, Queensland’s capital Brisbane is the fastest growing capital city in the world behind Phoenix AZ.
Yes, the northern suburbs of the Gold Coast are the fastest growing in Australia.
Yes, over 1500 people moving to the state per week.
Yes, Queensland is birthplace to famous people, Diane Cilento, Miranda Otto, Geoffrey Rush, Leonard Teale, Charles Chauvel, George Miller (producer),
Greg Norman, Karrie Webb, Michael Doohan
Ian Frazer - Immunologist, Anne Geddes - Photographer, clothing designer and businesswoman, Mike Chapman - Record producer and songwriter, Paul Twomey - Chief Executive Officer and President, Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, Andrew N. Liveris - CEO, President, & Chairman of the Board of Directors, Dow Chemical Company,
A.D. David Mackay - President and Chief Executive Officer, Kellogg Company.With all of these advantages you really do have to forgive us for the occasional fool, malcontent and miscreant that hails from our fair state.
—Nick (even though it’s winter, the sun is shining and the sky is blue)
Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 06 16 at 06:46 PM • permalinkWe get a lot of those banana-bender bushies down here in the big smoke. You see them wandering around Sydney, looking pretty vacuous as they stare up at the big buildings,their mouths open and eyes wide. Our friendly African cabbies love to show them the sights of Penrith on the way from the airport to the city.
My brother once asked me, “they say ‘a fool and his money are soon parted’ right?” And I said, “sure. So?”
He said, “well then, how the Hell did they get together in the first place?”
By the way, my all-time favorite American dolts are the two Hunt brothers (sons of oil billionaire H.L. Hunt) who managed to *lose* (i.e. it wasn’t stolen, or conned, or taxed, or appropriated from them) $4Billion. That takes some kind of talent.
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 06 17 at 12:47 AM • permalinkwe do have the most beautiful women in the country
I’m not letting you have that one, Nick. The most beautiful women in the country are here in Perth.
And the women in the city are mighty appealin’ too…Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 06 17 at 02:55 AM • permalink
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Dear Mr Blair,
You have asked, “Why does this always happen to Queenslanders?” Sir, this is indeed your fortunate day, because I can supply the answer to this question directly.
It is however locked in the vault of the First Nigerian
FraudulentBenevolent Banking Service, and unobtainable by regular means. If you can please forward $1.3 million dollars to my Swiss account…