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STINKY MALIBU REJECTS IMPORTED OIL ALTERNATIVE
Malibu celebs recently complained about an evil Australian plot to ruin their pretty little world:
Pierce Brosnan and other celebrities on Friday protested plans to build a liquefied natural gas terminal off the coast of Southern California.
The Cabrillo Port Liquefied Natural Gas facility is being proposed by Australian-based BHP Billiton, one of the world’s largest energy companies. The $800 million terminal would be located 14 miles off the coast of Malibu.
Opponents of the project said the terminal fails to meet federal clean air requirements, but BHP officials argued that it would provide a reliable source of low-polluting energy ...
“As a father and a concerned citizen and a resident of Malibu for 20-odd years, we are protesting this,” Brosnan said. “Please let’s consider this and let’s look at it very clearly before we make any harsh moves.”
Turns out those harsh moves might be coming from the celebrities themselves:
Just whose waste is fouling the most star-studded stretch of the Southern California coast? Los Angeles County officials intend to find out, and if the evidence leads back to the toilets of some of Hollywood’s rich and famous, the sewage could really hit the fan ...
Malibu, whose spectacular seaside cliffs, canyons and beaches have attracted numerous environmentally minded celebrities over the years, including Sting and Tom Hanks, was incorporated in 1991 specifically to stop construction of a sewer line. There are an estimated 2,400 septic tanks in this city of multimillion-dollar homes strung along 25 miles of coast.
Malibu residents fiercely guard their privacy and their right to use septic tanks, and many deny their septic systems are the source of dangerous ocean bacteria levels that rise sharply after heavy rains.
Perhaps Malibu should employ toilet expert Kenny.
I expect that the Hollywood celebs are in denial, as theie sh*t does stink.
We are all the same in the end.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 08 at 12:19 PM • permalink“their”, not “theie”.
PIMF PIMF PIMF PIMF PIMF PIMF PIMF PIMF!!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 08 at 12:19 PM • permalinkBloody Seppo imperialists! First trying to give the boot to an honest Aussie company, and now trying to conscript Canucks into their armed forces!
http://tinyurl.com/r4vmbPosted by andycanuck on 2006 10 08 at 01:03 PM • permalinkI’ve really dislike Pierce Bronsan for several years now. He didn’t become a U.S. citizen until a few years back and only then to vote in the Presidential election. (Believe I read that in “People” magazine.) Forget that he has lived in this country for “20-odd years,” and made a fantastic living, etc. He only became a citizen when he wanted to vote against Bush. What kept him from wanting to vote before? Wasn’t our country good enough for him? Isn’t that what he and others like him push for for illegal immigrants?
Here in Maine, where you can’t swing a dead coon cat without hitting an environmentalist, we:
1) turned down a liquefied natural gas facility;
2) decommissioned a nuke plant with no chance of replacement;
3) currently oppose a proposed wind farm, and,
4) are furiously removing hydro dams so fish can fuck.Mainers are profoundly unserious people.
Seems to me I’ve read (perhaps on this website) that Pierce Brosnan, like a number of other erstwhile James Bonds, is a strong advocate for gun control (i.e., victim disarmament).
Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2006 10 08 at 01:28 PM • permalink#14: That would be completely consistent with his Hollywood ethos. I wish Tom Wolfe would take on the Left Coast in one of his novels the way he did New York in Bonfire of the Vanities. It would take a genius to intelligently satirize something like Hollywood, which is such a living, breathing example of self-parody.
#10 Dave S. You’ve summed it up perfectly. Invisible Magic Power.
We all know that the multinational corporations (evil) are deliberately suppressing IMP for the sake of their profits.
The IMP patents are being kept secret under the auspices of Bush-Rove military haliburton perpetual patent hiding machine money profit evil multinational conspiracy right wing globalization profit evil corporation money evil money evil energy corporation ... blah blah blah ... laws of nature not withstanding.
I say leave them in the dark and let them shiver in winter and then they’ll suddenly want energy.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 10 08 at 01:53 PM • permalink[/b BTW We all know that the laws of nature are notyhing more than a white male patriarchal construct.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 10 08 at 01:55 PM • permalink...help please ...oh wiat, it wasn’t me.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 10 08 at 01:57 PM • permalinkHeh, “Remington Stool”. That’s the reason I come here Jim.
What was the one he was in a couple of years ago when he was a poor single dad sign painter or some such and took on the lefty nanny Irish establishment of the 50’s who tried to take his kids cuz government knows better? Great performance, I wonder if he knew he was opposing socialism?
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 10 08 at 02:01 PM • permalinkWimpy,
No, the first thing we turn off is the water pumping system that keeps water in the fire hydrant system. Then, next time there’s a brush-fire in the Malibu hills, every goddamn house in that town will get turned to cinders. And “next time there’s a brush-fire” is an annual event, happens every fall when the Santa Ana’s start blowing.
Posted by David Crawford on 2006 10 08 at 02:02 PM • permalinkI wasn’t aware that Brosnan became a citizen solely to vote against Bush, ladcraig. That is a very stupid reason to change citizenship. In turn, this reflects very badly on Brosnan. In addition to his effing NIMBY attitude, I mean.
Rebecca, there is one advantage of using a septic tank over a sewer collection system.
A sewer system requires maintenance, upgrades, repairs, etc. That means taxes, which means tax assessors walking on private property.
A sewer system (and I prefer them, myself), to be functional, must met a standard building code. That means building permits and site inspections (if done correctly, I mean), which means inspectors walking on private property.
And so on. This is all about their privacy.
I don’t know if all this happens now, that depends on how the city code for Malibu is set up. But a sewer system would guarantee increased access to private property, especially if the owners are expanding their homes.
But it’s all about their privacy. They are literally crapping on other people to insure their privacy.
What a surprise—what’s good for the common masses isn’t good enough for the elite.
The thing about septic tanks (or drain fields, or other private sewage disposal systems) is that they are practical ONLY if they don’t overload the local environment. The real advantage of a sewage collection system is that the waste is processed on an industrial scale.
Home systems rely almost entirely on natural processes. Even then, dispersion is critical, and some areas require a pressure system to insure that the sewage sinks into the ground, or other measures to improve their effectiveness.
Which leads me to speculate that the Malibu building code is not well enforced, not if the state is entering the fray. Water quality is no joke. With a little luck, those Malibu idiots will have to pay a pretty penny to meet state standards….which are often more stringent than Federal standards. I’m guessing that California is more stringent.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 08 at 02:05 PM • permalinkOne correction: septic tanks are generally pumped on a regular basis, but they also rely on the anaerobic bacterial environment to reduce the load. If a tank is not used properly, problems will occur, the raw sewage will build up, and eventually overflow. A responsible home owner would make sure that a septic system remains functional…..which is difficult at the best of times.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 08 at 02:14 PM • permalinkThanks for the explanation, TRJS. I became quite well acquainted with septic tanks during the four years I spent in Michigan. Never, never, never, ever, ever again.
Seems to me that unless the Malibu Mafia pools its billions of entertainment dollars to buy off the state government, they’re going to have more than just tax assessors invading their privacy.
#27, Pierce Bronsan became an American citizen in Sept. 2004. I couldn’t find the exact quote that I had read about Pierce Bronsan becoming a U.S. citizen JUST to vote against Bush, but I did find the following on his website:
As an Irishman, I am proud to become an American citizen, but these last four years have been the longest of any I have witnessed. This is not an ordinary time for the exercise of ordinary civic duties. This is a defining moment in history where we must be certain that our policies ensure a sustainable future. It saddens me deeply to see this country in a state of confusion and pain at the hands of a government that lies. Over the course of just four years, we have gone from being a nation loved and admired… to one that has put the world at large against us.
Also,
I know the weight of an American vote. There is no public duty as important and never has there been a time in history with as much at stake as now.
Um, if he took the responsibility of voting so seriously, why did he wait two decades to become a citizen in the country he resides in? BTW, if I read correctly he is retaining his Irish citizenship as well. When he makes a stand, he makes a stand!
The_Real_JeffS; the building I lived in later fell into the sea. No one ever did a damn thing to try to prevent a building falling into the sea. Actually, a number of them have.
Big Rock, in (above) the ‘Bu, has all its gas lines running above ground, because the ground shifts so often.
There was a tall apt. building down further on Carbon that, whenever the sea rose during a storm, the first 2 floors flooded. Completely. No one ever did anything about that, either.
The views are really nice, though.
I remember how happy my parents were when we finally were able to get our house connected to the city sewer lines and could get rid of the disgusting septic tank. This meant, among other things, no visit by the smelly septic tank truck to have ours pumped out, and we could now walk down the side yard of our house…
As for these privacy and control-obsessed celebfreaks, let them all get cholera.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 08 at 03:26 PM • permalinkGood ones, Rebecca and Wimpy. LOL. And thanks for the shitty play on words, Jim. ROFL. (Luckily I wasn’t drinking at the time.)
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 10 08 at 03:26 PM • permalink#16 Heh, eh? How about
“Doo et mon droit”
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 10 08 at 05:38 PM • permalinkI’m hoping that eventually the national EPA comes down on their stinky asses.
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 10 08 at 06:24 PM • permalinkDamn, Jeff S., is there anything you don’t know a lot about?
Women. But I’m studying that subject assiduously! ;-)
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 08 at 10:46 PM • permalinkre #32, ushie, I hear you. My father faced a similar problem with his retirement home (just not in California). But he knew that he made a bad decision, dealt with it, and moved on.
‘Tis all one can do.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 08 at 11:05 PM • permalink#41 Good on’ya, Genuine Jeff!
When you are finished, maybe you could get started on that pesky Yang–Mills existence and mass gap problem, ‘kay?
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 10 08 at 11:57 PM • permalinkI’ll put those on my “to do” list, MentalFloss!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 09 at 12:50 AM • permalinkUm, if he took the responsibility of voting so seriously, why did he wait two decades to become a citizen in the country he resides in?
‘Cuz Brosnan a self-serving leftie has-been movie actor, looking to gather some more members into his flock of adoring admirers.
Which is a pity, because Brosnan did a decent James Bond. But that was just a facade….open the front door, and you’re in his back yard.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 09 at 12:54 AM • permalinkHow often are septic tanks pumped? Mine’s been going since December 11, 1993. No problems.
Depends, kae. Growing up, we had a septic tank, and I think it was pumped only a few times in 15 years. Yet I know folks who pump theirs annually. Depends on the situation. From the Wikipedia link above:
How often the septic tank has to be emptied depends on the volume of the tank relative to the input of solids, the amount of indigestible solids and the ambient temperature (as anaerobic digestion occurs more efficiently at higher temperatures). In general it is rare for a septic tank system to require emptying more than four times a year, and by careful management many users can reduce emptying to once per year or even less.
As long as the anaerobic bacterial environment is churning along, and the sewage load doesn’t exceed the capacity of the tank, it’s possible to keep going for a long time. But there’s always some indigestable materials. Not knowing your exact situation and local conditions, I can only suggest that you might be pressing your luck, and recommend contacting a suitable firm for their opinion. More than one firm, if it suits you.
Or, if you are feeling lucky, keep on trucking.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 09 at 02:24 AM • permalinkTRJ, I’m feeling lucky. It’s not stinky, there’s only been one person here mostly since 1999, and the bath/shower/laundry/kitchen water goes into the greywater tank*. I was told that if you keep the paper low it lasts a lot longer. I have neighbours who have been here longer than me and theirs are still going. Being in Queensland the temperatures dont fall much, maybe that helps? I remember septics as a kid, they were stinky horrible things with vents in the concrete circular pads in the backyard - yerck!
*Now, can someone tell me how the goop in the greywater tank which attaches to the pump, caught hair, pipes, power lead, etc, has the same consistency and pong of mangrove mud??
#50 because it’s pretty much the same thing as mangrove mud - all those organics & all those anaerobic bacteria chewing through em. you gotta get a whiff of some H2S & skatoles from time to time
typical rich tightwads too - with their money they could replace the septic with a decent package sewage treatment plant of the right size for their lifestyle & pay some guy to give it the maintenance it needs
oo oo the un has deplored norko’s withdrawal from the nuclear dialogue. bet kim dog sick is sooooo scared
kae, if you have a gray water tank as well, I can see why you don’t have to pump. And having warm temperatures helps a lot as well. Keep on feeling lucky!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 09 at 10:15 AM • permalink
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I lived in the ‘Bu for a couple of years. Washing machines are supposedly illegal, but many had them.
It’s a small-town place, except for the occasional witless celeb outcry.