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TEST YOUR BERNIE IQ
How much do you know about Bernie Sanders, the first confessed socialist ever elected to the US Senate? Take the quiz, already:
1. Bernie is the son of:
a) Colonel Sanders
b) Belt Sanders
c) a Jewish Polish immigrant to the United States
2. As Mayor, Bernie helped make Burlington ...
a) one of the most exciting and livable small cities in America
b) one of the least exciting and unlivable large towns in America
c) America’s handgun capital
3. When Bernie moved to Vermont in 1964, he worked as a:
a) male model and hairstylist
b) truck driver and vigilante
c) carpenter and journalist
4. Bernie regards it as a national disgrace that the United States has, by far, the highest rate of:
a) Bush voters
b) child poverty of any industrialized country and a childcare system that is abysmal
c) NASCAR drivers
5. Bernie was a member of which group in 1989:
a) Hezbollah
b) the faculty at Harvard University
c) Salt ’n’ Pepa
6. Bernie played which role in the 2001 comedy My X-Girlfriend’s Wedding Reception:
a) Rabbi Manny Shevitz
b) Godfather Carmine
c) Reception guest
7. Bernie once took a busload of constituents to Canada so they could:
a) sell illegal drugs
b) buy prescription drugs
c) emigrate
8. Bernie drives:
a) a hard bargain
b) a beat-up old Saturn
c) an SUV owned by John Kerry’s family
9. Bernie once made a cheap video celebrating:
a) Eugene Victor Debs
b) Don “Big Daddy” Garlits
c) Girls Gone Wild
10. Bernie believes that in the richest nation in the history of the world, all Americans should:
a) support the system that has created this enormous wealth
b) buy more yachts
c) enjoy a decent standard of living
I didn’t know Barry Sanders got in to politics. Man, no one could juke out a linebacker like him.
Posted by Shaky Barnes on 2006 11 18 at 01:45 PM • permalinkCorrect answers…
1.) d. ...a bitch, who would like to see the United States turn into a totalitarian commie dictatorship.
2.) d. ...Havana del Norte.
3.) d. ...a ne’er do well commie propagandist.
4.) d. ...free people.
5.) d. ...Socialist Dipwads of America.
6.) d. ...wannabe socialist dictator of Vermont.
7.) d. ...Who gives a damn?
8.) d. ...normal people up a wall.
9.) d. ...the mass murder of over 100,000,000 people by various socialist regimes in the 20th century. Let’s party!
10.) d. ...be enslaved by government, per the standard socialist model…and then driven into abject poverty, also per the standard socialist model.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 11 18 at 02:54 PM • permalinkAh Vermont-it really is a beautiful state, horribly overrun by trustifarians from Massachusetts.
Not Massachusetts, New York. New Hampshire is overrun by Bay Staters. Vermont is currently the 49th largest state by population and is expected to overtake Wyoming for the coveted 50th place—thanks, largely, to politicians like Bernie who are devoted to keeping the state unsoiled by
those tacky jobs-thingsbig business.Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2006 11 18 at 03:02 PM • permalinkAlas, “Bernie!” is my Senator elect. It may surprise those on the left that wish to make a big deal of this that he never mentioned the word “Socialist” in his campaign, to my knowledge. Neither did his opponent. He ran under the banner of the Liberal party.
I wanted to ask him one question, which I thought would be devestating: “What do you think the pump price of a gallon of gas should be?” Tarrent never asked him.
I have seen “trusafarians” on the local news who suggested, in interviews at the pump when the prices were high, that gas should be $10 a gallon. That’s what Bernie! thinks too, I am sure.
Bernie is the son of Colonel Sanders. As Mayor, Bernie helped make Burlington America’s handgun capital. When Bernie moved to Vermont in 1964, he worked as a male model and hairstylist. Bernie regards it as a national disgrace that the United States has, by far, the highest rate of NASCAR drivers. Bernie was a member of Hezbollah in 1989. Bernie played Rabbi Manny Shevitz in the 2001 comedy My X-Girlfriend’s Wedding Reception. Bernie once took a busload of constituents to Canada so they could emigrate. Bernie drives a beat-up old Saturn. Bernie once made a cheap video celebrating Girls Gone Wild. Bernie believes that in the richest nation in the history of the world, all Americans should support the system that has created this enormous wealth.
Bernie could probably get a shot leading the Oz federal ALP with those impressive credentials. Certain ly couldn’t do any worse.
Not Massachusetts, New York. New Hampshire is overrun by Bay Staters. Vermont is currently the 49th largest state by population and is expected to overtake Wyoming for the coveted 50th place—thanks, largely, to politicians like Bernie who are devoted to keeping the state unsoiled by
those tacky jobs-thingsbig business.Socialism remains the number 1 cause of depopulation, eh?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 18 at 04:08 PM • permalinkJust one quibble, Vermont has some of the least restrictive gun laws in the United States. One thing you cant fault him, or Dean on, is a prediliction for gun control.
No, they just want to
controltake away our money, by which we can buy guns. Different thing, same results.Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 18 at 04:10 PM • permalink(I see what I’m going to be doing tonight—uploading all those “wrong answer!” images to the server.)
And I did a video, if you like, not quite a film, on the life of Eugene Victor Debs, who some of you know was one of great labor and socialist heroes in America. And I did it because nobody in Vermont, none of the kids, and kids in America today do not know who Debs was, as they do not know the names of many great American heroes.
I’m forty-three years old and I have no fucking idea who Eugene Victor Debs is either. Now that I do, I guess I’ll be even better at Trivial Pursuit than I am already.
PS: I’m guessing Whittaker Chamber
lain‘s Witness isn’t prominently displayed on this twinkletoe’s bookshelves. It’s just a feeling I have.[Update: oops. The Management.]
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 18 at 06:31 PM • permalinkForbes: yeah, that one too.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 18 at 08:05 PM • permalinkI was in Burlington at the end of October - for Halloween, in fact - and I couldn’t follow the accent, which is spoken very quickly. Perhaps that explains things.
Posted by Angela Bell on 2006 11 18 at 08:57 PM • permalink“I’m forty-three years old and I have no fucking idea who Eugene Victor Debs is either.”
Tossed into prison for ten years by tolerant liberal Democrats, for daring to make a speech criticizing liberal Democrat warmaking activities when Woody Wilson was president.
Subsequently ordered released from prison by order of ultra-intolerant, peace-mongering, Republican, RWDB Warren Harding.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 11 19 at 07:08 PM • permalink
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8 for 10 - I know my commies!