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THE ASSAULT ON SEASONS

Lee Matthews emails:

According to the National Weather Service, on Sunday June 3, the temperature in Seattle reached 84 degrees.

But on Monday the high was only 69 ... today’s high temp thus far is 60 ... tomorrow’s forecast is for high 50s.

As you might guess, Al Gore arrived in town Monday.

UPDATE. Rick McGinnis:

Look, I was laughing about this whole “Gore effect” thing, but our first close days of summer weather - forcing me to haul the fans out of storage - suddenly ended today with a cold snap that stilled the fans and had me rushing around the house closing windows. It happened so quickly, but then I heard a news break on a local TV station a few minutes ago announcing that - yes, you saw this coming - Gore was back in town.

Brett L.:

Anyone who can’t manipulate his micro-environment favorably is out of the running for my vote to toy with the world climate.

Bad Cat Robot:

So *that’s* what happened!  And here I was feeling guilty for bringing the hammock out of storage too early. I hope he leaves before my apple trees get frost damage ...

Spny Norman:

When the bloviating mountebank blew into SoCal in mid-March to kick off his propaganda tour, the cold snap ruined my cherry crop. Seriously, what looked to be a bumper harvest was gone by the end of the month, dropped while they were still green.

The coldening may not be over. Daniel F. sends word of a stormy weather Gorecast.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/05/2007 at 07:20 PM
  1. The Goracle’s icy reach is continental; in my area of southern Ontario it’s going to drop to a chilly 5 degrees C or so overnight. I’ll have to turn some natural gas into heat and CO2 tonight, which will make Al cry.

    Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 06 05 at 07:26 PM • permalink

  2. I wish he’d come to Florida. It’s been in the 90s this week and I’ve got some sort of fever which makes it even worse.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 06 05 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  3. It’s even cooled down here in Detroit.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2007 06 05 at 07:50 PM • permalink

  4. The Time magazine article recently referenced in an earlier post cast Gore in the role of a god. I think they meant this one. Unseasonably cold weather is just Gore showing his feminine side.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 05 at 07:52 PM • permalink

  5. For the good of the nation, we must keep that bloviating mountebank out of the farming states…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 06 05 at 07:59 PM • permalink

  6. Though he did make some inspired jabs, Gore didn’t mention his possible democratic nomination during a speech where he appeared exhausted and hoarse.

    Al Gore, hoarse man of the apocalypse. He is wearing himself out in service to the planet, folks; you should all be ashamed.

    While signing copies of his book, “The Assault on Reason,” Gore talked to people about Mount Rainier, Pink Floyd . . . Pink Floyd?!?

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 05 at 08:14 PM • permalink

  7. We could stop Griebschmalz Warbling if we’d just maroon Al like Frankenstein’s monster in the arctic on an (expanding) icefloe.

    Posted by kiwinews on 2007 06 05 at 08:20 PM • permalink

  8. That’s why we’re having rain and cool temperatures here in eastern Washington!  I wondered why, after it hit 90+ F last week.

    I shoulda known…...

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 05 at 08:21 PM • permalink

  9. Translation for Southern Hemisphereans needed! What’s that in Celsius, Tim?

    Posted by TimT on 2007 06 05 at 08:36 PM • permalink

  10. He’s taking us in a direction that the whole world needs to go . . .

    You mean, like this?

    What’s that new book of his? Spreading Rock Salt on Reason? Paco Industries is really going to have to begin stepping up production of reinforced remainder tables.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 05 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  11. Google is our friend for converting all kinds of units of measurement.
    Just type “90 degrees F in C” (without the quotes) in the Google search box, and you get:
    90 degrees Fahrenheit = 32.2222222 degrees Celsius
    In other words, too bleepin’ hot!

    Weirdly, here in southern California, we’re having an unusually long and cool version of our customary “June gloom”.  We must all be psychically attuned to Big Al’s moods.  ;-)

    Posted by Mary in LA on 2007 06 05 at 08:43 PM • permalink

  12. Al Gore - a man for all seasons - just cooler.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 05 at 08:52 PM • permalink

  13. Maybe Al’s auditioning for Mr Freeze in a Batman remake?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 05 at 08:55 PM • permalink

  14. Look, I was laughing about this whole “Gore effect” thing, but our first close days of summer weather - forcing me to haul the fans out of storage - suddenly ended today with a cold snap that stilled the fans and had me rushing around the house closing windows. It happened so quickly, but then I heard a news break on a local TV station a few minutes ago announcing that - yes, you saw this coming - Gore was back in town.

    It’s so simple: we have to load the man into a C-130 and keep it constantly circling the globe with mid-air refuelling. Dispatch him to wherever temperatures are spiking; he could save thousands of seniors’ lives in France during summer vacances.

    Posted by rick mcginnis on 2007 06 05 at 09:14 PM • permalink

  15. Semi OT

    It’s rainingin SE Queensland!

    Yippee!

    I’m singin’ in the rain, just singin’ in the rain, what a glorious feeling…

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 06 05 at 09:14 PM • permalink

  16. Next time i have a party I think I will Al Gore along to keep the beer cold, at least he will be doing a real community service then.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 05 at 09:18 PM • permalink

  17. George Senior named Al ‘Ozone Man’.

    What’s his latest guise?

    MAl Thaw?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 05 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  18. As you might guess, Al Gore arrived in town Monday.

    The Gore Effect is real!

    FEAR THE GORACLE!!!

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 05 at 09:58 PM • permalink

  19. It’s really simple thermodynamics. Anyone who generates that much hot air must be attached to a giant heat sink. But, as I said on an earlier thread today: Anyone who can’t manipulate his micro-environment favorably is out of the running for my vote to toy with the world climate.

    Posted by brett_l on 2007 06 05 at 10:09 PM • permalink

  20. #11 Mary in LA

    Weirdly, here in southern California, we’re having an unusually long and cool version of our customary “June gloom”.  We must all be psychically attuned to Big Al’s moods.  ;-)

    Too many of our neighbors are simply worshipful.

    :^þ

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 05 at 10:11 PM • permalink

  21. The Gore Effect is real!

    My computer model agrees!

    10 print “the al-gore effect is real”
    20 goto 10

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 06 05 at 10:13 PM • permalink

  22. The “equal and opposite reaction”, eh brett_l?

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 05 at 10:14 PM • permalink

  23. I personally believe the al gore effect to be caused by the fact that the man is SO boring it slows down any particles nearby.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 06 05 at 10:15 PM • permalink

  24. #22: Doof the Magic Dragon?

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 05 at 10:28 PM • permalink

  25. This is getting beyond hilarious.

    The Goracle could make a whole lot more money if he rented himself out as a hot-weather control.

    But it wouldn’t make him feel sanctimonious and god-like - which is all that really matters to him.

    Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2007 06 05 at 10:45 PM • permalink

  26. So *that’s* what happened!  And here I was feeling guilty for bringing the hammock out of storage too early.  I hope he leaves before my apple trees get frost damage ...

    Posted by bad cat robot on 2007 06 05 at 10:49 PM • permalink

  27. #15- I blame global warming- all this precipitation will flow into the sea causing the level to rise and drown the polar bears at Dreamworld.

    And what’s the betting that after 6 weeks of deluge, with every water storage in the states SE fuller than a parliamentarian during question time, the level 6 water restrictions stay in place- give government control over anything and the bastards will never hand it back.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 06 05 at 10:49 PM • permalink

  28. #27: give government control over anything and the bastards will never hand it back.

    Amen to that, brother. As I recall, the income tax in the U.S. was originally intended to be a “temporary measure”.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 05 at 11:02 PM • permalink

  29. #26 bad cat robot

    So *that’s* what happened!  And here I was feeling guilty for bringing the hammock out of storage too early.  I hope he leaves before my apple trees get frost damage ...

    When the bloviating mountebank (good one richard!) blew into SoCal in mid-March to kick off his book propaganda tour, the cold snap ruined my cherry crop. Seriously, what looked to be a bumper harvest was gone by the end of the month, dropped while they were still green.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 05 at 11:14 PM • permalink

  30. Al Gore: Life is such a freeze ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 05 at 11:28 PM • permalink

  31. #27/#28:  Habib and Paco:

    My dear old and wise grandmother, who was around when they instituted the “temporary” tax—just on the rich folks, mind you!  She warned me that you never let the government get a little toe in the door, or next thing you know,you’ll find them squating in your living room.

    They always go after something that most people think sounds good.  Pornography takes the first hit, then we find all sorts of other clamps on our freedom of speech.  Or say that you need to censor political speech in order to keep the politicians in line (now I know I’m not the only one to bust out laughing at that!), expecting us to ignore the fact that it is the politicians who passed the laws that gave them the power to hand out favors and be corrupt all over the place!  Anyway, we’re expected to forget the very first words of the 1st Amendment—“Congress shall make no law…,” and they’ve got a good start on taking care of that pesky free speech crap.

    Say the government needs to be able to take land for things such as a military emergency, eminent domain, and then we find the government throwing little old ladies out of their homes so that they can sell the land to boost the tax base.  Allow the EPA and the Park Service to dictate how people use their land, or just take it over outright…, and you’ve got a good start on getting rid of that private property garbage.

    Don’t worry about the proles, who are unable to understand what a principle is, since we’ve dictated their indoctrination education in government schools.  They’ll never notice if you just dress up our progressive policies in virtuous rhetoric.  Go after the “bad” stuff first and the rest will follow.

    And viola!  Next thing you know, they’ll be lining up to hear all about how they ought to be worrying over Gore’s balls warming the planet.

    Simple.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 06 05 at 11:40 PM • permalink

  32. O/T:

    HillBilly book released

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 05 at 11:52 PM • permalink

  33. “Griebschmalz Warbling”

    I like it.

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 06 06 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  34. The Gore effect, as has been noted elsewhere, is in reality an side-effect of the Gorebot’s power system. It drains temporal energy in a spherical zone to power itself, making time flow somewhat slower and reducing the random molecular kinetic energy in the environment usually referred to as “heat”.

    Although the tedious length of a Gorebot “lecture” is usually explained by it’s being a “boring bastard”, it really does last longer than outside the Presence.

    Posted by mojo on 2007 06 06 at 12:25 AM • permalink

  35. #19 #23
    Perhaps Al’s reached a critical mass in that he is both a giant heat sink and also has an event horizon that slows time/chills in his vicinity?

    Hence the apparent slow talk for 8 y.o.s?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 06 at 12:41 AM • permalink

  36. The Gorestat: set on ‘chill’.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 06 at 12:42 AM • permalink

  37. #15
    Yes, Nora, isn’t it lovely!
    I’m going to Burleigh on Sunday for fish and chips. (no chips, thanks, I’m dieting)

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 06 at 12:51 AM • permalink

  38. This must be one of those rare occurrences where the temperature drops after a high.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 06 06 at 01:07 AM • permalink

  39. What happened in Seattle is exactly par for the course.  I’ve lived in the area since 1966.  When I was in school it was always the same.  May weather, and sometimes early June weather, was awesome, sunny and temps in the 70’s, sometimes 80’s. 

    And then?  You get out of school around the second week of June and the weather would be crap.  The crap weather (temps in the 60’s, rain, etc.) would end either just before the Fourth of July or just after.  And then summer would actually start.

    Gore effect?  No, as much as I’d like to ascribe the crap weather to the mook.  Just the usual unpredictable weather around these parts.

    Posted by David Crawford on 2007 06 06 at 02:58 AM • permalink

  40. If it happens, I wonder if newspapers will have the balls to print the headline “2007 Coldest Year Since Global Warming Began 30 Years Ago”.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2007 06 06 at 06:52 AM • permalink

  41. The temps have been cooler than average here in southwest Ohio all through the month of May.  I don’t think the Goreacle is anywhere close, but I’m beginning to think he chills the climate just by moving around.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 06 at 09:54 AM • permalink

  42. And record-setting and near-record setting low temperatures in South America in May:
    http://newsbusters.org/node/13234
    (Lookout, Aussies.)

    BTW, the record low for May in, IIRC, Argentina was the same temperature as in Toronto yesterday during Al’s visit: 10°C (although I don’t know about the wind chill temperatures).

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 06 06 at 10:03 AM • permalink

  43. You need to provide a database of reported “Gore Effects,”  like the clammy, drizzly day in Los Angeles when Gore won the Academy Award.  This is too funny.

    Posted by Jimmy the Dhimmi on 2007 06 06 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  44. #31—The 16th amendment that empowered the federal government to collect income taxes was passed in 1913.

    If my memory of history serves, the tax was 3% on incomes in excess of $30,000—equivalent to incomes today of $626,000.

    Yes, once granted the authority, rather than any cede any back to the people, the government generally enlarges its take.

    Posted by Forbes on 2007 06 06 at 12:12 PM • permalink

  45. And, Forbes, Canada’s income tax was a “temporary” wartime measure undertaken during… the First World War approximately 90 years ago.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 06 06 at 01:38 PM • permalink

  46. David Crawford: yes, we know, but it just happens to be funny that everywhere Gore goes, colder weather goes with him. Perhaps he’s a weather god slumming as a human.

    PS: by the way, it’s raining here, finally. We got rain over the weekend, but needed a lot more.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 06 06 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  47. Re #39: David, from the Weather Underground, this is a summary of June temperatures in Seattle

    While the actual temperatures are at or above the average temperature, please note that the actual temperature trend was:

    1 June: 77 F (25 C)
    2 June: 80 F (27 C)
    3 June: 84 F (29 C)
    4 June: 70 F (21 C)
    5 June: 59 F (15 C)
    6 June: 62 F (17 C)
    7 June: 61 F (16 C)*

    The Goreacle™ arrived in Seattle on 4 June, which also saw a 14 degree drop in temperature (8 degrees C).  On 5 June, that increased to a 25 degree (14 degrees C) cooling trend.  The temperature increased slightly thereafter.

    Under normal western Washington conditions (and I lived there from 1960-1975, and currently reside in the SE corner of Washington), such a sudden and dramatic temperature drop is possible, but fairly uncommon….especially when the average temperature in Seattle is 68 F (20 C), and the actual temperature was much higher (see above table).

    QED.  The Gore Effect™ is genuine.

    ================

    *: Translation into Centigrade provided for the benefit of the scientifically challenged.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 07 at 05:51 PM • permalink

  48. Dave: Try to think of it as mocking some of the global warming advocate’s seizing upon any strange weather as proof, PROOF of global warming.

    In this case, we use Gore as the “cause” of the strange weather since it seems to get colder wherever he goes so it’s proof, PROOF of the Gore Effect.

    Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 06 08 at 09:08 AM • permalink

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