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TURKEY CODA
Dear old Phillip Adams, an early adopter of the plastic turkey myth, returns to turkey territory:
The paltry President attracts poultry analogies. If he’s not a lame duck, he’s a turkey – a rubber turkey.
Not bad; it’s only taken Adams nearly three years to upgrade his imaginary turkey from plastic to rubber, which at least is an organic substance. At this rate he’ll be talking genuine turkey sometime around 2054. The rest of the column is merely the latest repetition of Phil’s oft-stated belief that Bush, Blair and Howard are doomed.
Sadly, there does seem little chance Bush will win a third term…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 29 at 12:05 PM • permalinkNervously looks around (to make sure there aren’t any genuine scientific coves about, like Michael Lonie), slips into tweed jacket with the intellectual-looking elbow patches (recently retrieved from the Goodwill store), sticks licorice pipe in mouth.
Harrumph! M’yes. I see that the plastic turkey (Meleagris polymerus bushi) is back in the news again. I am currently working on a paper that will appear in the Journal of . . .of . . . er, the Journal of Scientific Stuff, which will provide hard, scientific evidence, based on the fossil record, that the plastic turkey evolved, over time, in a symbiotic relationship with Homo journalisticus rhinolophus lunae, a scribbling variety of the species commonly known as “moonbat”. As the flower is to the bee, the plastic turkey is to the moonbat; in each case, the different species are engaged in a cooperative endeavor which benefits them both. Unlike the relationship between the flower and the bee, however, the relationship between the plastic turkey and the moonbat journalist is one in which two pests work together to create a nuisance to society. My theory will ultimately result in certain practical applications, possibly to include such products as “moonbat motels” and “sticky journalist paper”.
Hate to be nit-picky, but “organic” generally means “carbon based”, which most plastics are. Rubber is closer to turkey than plastic because it is a more naturally sourced resource.
I still rant about “organic” chickens in my supermarket’s meat section, along the lines of “As opposed to those ‘silicon-based’ chickens we’ve been eating lately”!
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 07 29 at 04:24 PM • permalinkMemo:
To: Phil Adams
If we all accept your phony premise that the Baghdad Thanksgiving turkey was plastic, will you admit that you are a latex cock, that is, a dildoe?
Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey on 2006 07 29 at 05:40 PM • permalinkMock not the rubber poultry, for they are coming for YOU.
#2 Sadly, there does seem little chance Bush will win a third term
And that should make a lot of people scared.
In the last similar situation, 1968, the people elected Nixon and his ‘I have a plan to end the war and make the world happy again.
The plan was to cut and run from Vietnam, leaving it and Laos with 30 year failed dictatorships and Kampuchea’s ‘Year Zero’ millions of dead.Notice that the US changed parties in that election after 8 years then, conned by a real pro with ‘form’. [Hillary?]
PS -I know it is not possible for Bush to run - that’s the problem - in Australia, Howard has won 10 years as PM and the country is going well.
Ditto Blair, and Thatcher too.
I can’t understand why the US restricted its system to two terms, as it created the lame duck [not the plastic turkey].
Surely the people should be respected and given the choice.I can’t understand why the US restricted its system to two terms, as it created the lame duck [not the plastic turkey].
I can’t speak to the specific reasons a presidential term limit was imposed (the general reason being as a reaction to the four straight election victories of Franklin Delano Roosevelt) but I’m not particularly against the idea. From observing other (especially presidential) systems around the world, it seems to me that once someone is in an office with that kind of power for that length of time the daily machinations of government have less and less to do with what’s good for the country and the people and more and more to do with maintaining power and extending it.
As one quick example, it seems (in my opinion) that in the later years of presidential terms most of the original supporting players who came in with an agenda to get some specific tasks accomplished have moved on and what’s left is the people who are in their positions mostly because they’ve gravitated toward power and not necessarily because they have something to contribute. At that point, the system is starting to become warped and the tail starts wagging the dog. The web of appointments and favors and back-scratching that has built up means the people’s business is in danger of taking second place to other, less noble, imperatives. A term limit is perhaps a blunt instrument to deal with that situation, but given the alternatives and the nature of the system, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad idea.
With a parliamentary system I think there’s less danger of that problem developing since the prime minister is subject to recall at any particular moment, if developments warrant (and can even be replaced within his party without the necessity of an election).
I note the sly way he links Howard to Pte Kovco’s death. Adams should worry less about urban myth fake turkeys and more about whether he might be turning into a snake.
Posted by the nailgun on 2006 07 30 at 01:09 AM • permalink
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The paltry President attracts poultry analogies. If he’s not a lame duck, he’s a turkey – a rubber turkey.
Come on Phil, carry this thing one step further.
Crawford, Texas, Disturbed by Sheehan Plan
Sheehan, whose month long war protest near Bush’s ranch last summer attracted more than 10,000 demonstrators, recently bankrolled the purchase of a 5-acre parcel near downtown to be used for future protests, including one next month.
With dreamy Cindy in Crawford, town folks can start selling Cindy-Chicken-I-Blew-Hugo-Shit-Sticks, with Cindy’s likeness on every Cindy-Chicken-I-Blew-Hugo-Shit-Stick, at this years County Fair.
The resemblance, to Cindy, is amazing.
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