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UNSAFE AT ANY SPEED

Near-silent hybrid vehicles - one of them almost killed Michael Stipe - are a threat to the blind, among others:

The National Federation of the Blind said hybrid cars pose a risk to the blind, children, the elderly, cyclists and distracted
pedestrians.

The group said it conducted tests with blind people.

They did? Seems a little drastic.

(Via ilibcc)

Posted by Tim B. on 02/15/2007 at 11:24 AM
  1. Oh dear

    I had visions of blind people being put in the middle of the road with hybrids coming at them

    Now it is not only testing with animals that’s bad, but testing with the blind as well

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 02 15 at 11:30 AM • permalink

  2. Okay, I won’t write the whole joke because it’s too long but I always liked the punchline.

    Driver: “Oh no, Father! I must’ve blacked out. Don’t tell me I hit that poor man.”

    Priest: “No, my son, you didn’t hit him. But you got close enough so that I could door the bastard!!!”

    Posted by JDB on 2007 02 15 at 11:32 AM • permalink

  3. I’m reminded of the dire warnings after the Wall fell and people in East Germany started buying quieter Western cars instead of the noisy rustplastic-buckets we could only get before.

    Posted by PW on 2007 02 15 at 11:39 AM • permalink

  4. Just wait until they start killing animals with these cars, then PETA will be all over them. Until then, blind people must not be cute and cuddly enough to matter to the Hollywood celebs.

    Posted by Retread on 2007 02 15 at 11:45 AM • permalink

  5. There’s an easy solution for this horrible dilema: In Car Entertainment.  With external speakers.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 15 at 11:48 AM • permalink


  6. With sincere apologies to ZZ Top

    “Then they had us up against the wall
    Hey it’s only a hybrid now y’all
    And there ain’t no cause for alarm
    We ain’t out to do nobody no harm
    How could anyone be so unkind
    To arrest a man for drivin’ over the blind”

    With sincere apologies to ZZ Top

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 02 15 at 12:07 PM • permalink

  7. A small price to pay.  All involved are to be lauded.

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 02 15 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  8. I know it’s just a wild & crazy idea, but how about fitting those vehicles with an pneumatic noisemaker of some kind, perhaps fitted with a toggle/switch/ button in reach of the operator, who may then use it on some non-specified way to make pedestrians aware of his approach?

    Just spitballing of course.

    Posted by kiwinews on 2007 02 15 at 01:02 PM • permalink

  9. Maybe they can outfit hybrids with backup warning systems like they do heavy equipment. They could have one loud, obnoxious noise for forward and another for reverse. In short order, the blind will wish they were deaf as well. As will we all.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 02 15 at 01:08 PM • permalink

  10. The first real electric car, the GM EV-1, had very special tires to reduce rolling friction, and it really was very, very quiet.

    It made about as much noise as two mountain bikes.

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 02 15 at 01:38 PM • permalink

  11. The group said it conducted tests with blind people.

    Hmmm.  They tested the blind with regards to hybrid cars?  This makes me wonder if they’d get any different a result if they tested them with semi tractor trailers. 

    “Ok, just stand there.  Right.  The test is about to begin.  Let her rip Bo!”

    I can’t see there’d be any difference.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 02 15 at 02:05 PM • permalink

  12. #12, wronwright, are you talking about the control group?  This was a double-blind test, wasn’t it?

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 02 15 at 03:11 PM • permalink

  13. Near-silent hybrid vehicles - one of them almost killed Michael Stipe

    Damn. So tantalizingly close to hilarious irony in the megaton range.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 15 at 03:32 PM • permalink

  14. One of the downsides of electric cars will be their silent running. Only one solution:

    much better

    Posted by rbresca on 2007 02 15 at 03:51 PM • permalink

  15. This just in. Reuters reports the results of the latest test carried out by Friends of the Guzzlers (FOG), an organization dedicated to the survival of the threatened gas engine. In a double-blind test, in which 10,000 blind subjects participated, half were exposed to hybrid cars and half were exposed to gas engine cars, both coming from behind without warning.  The results of the experiment show that blind people exposed to hybrid cars coming from behind without warning were at an increased risk of death. All of those exposed to hybrid cars coming from behind died on the spot, while only one of those exposed to gas cars coming from behind without warning died. Scientists are investigating why the gas engine stopped before hitting that blind man. The driver said, “I’m so accustomed to blind people getting out of the way upon hearing the noise of my engine that I didn’t know what to do.”

    As a result of this test, FOG is calling for an immediate ban on all hybrid cars and on one gas car with a moronic driver.

    Posted by ElectronPower on 2007 02 15 at 03:57 PM • permalink

  16. I propose that all electric cars and hybrids must be preceded by a team of men blowing horns and waving flags.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 15 at 04:05 PM • permalink

  17. #17 - No doubt, the electric car drivers prefer their flags to be a crisp white.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2007 02 15 at 04:12 PM • permalink

  18. I thought that’s what they had guide dogs for.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 02 15 at 05:02 PM • permalink

  19. kiwinews

    I second the motion, but only if it makes a selection of comedy noises.
    A fleet of cars going “wukkawukkawuuka” or “aaaarrrrghhhh” would be a great start to the morning commute. Add a couple of laugh tracks for the buses and bobs your unkle.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 02 15 at 06:13 PM • permalink

  20. #18
    Wearing white hooded one-piece suits ...

    So long as celebs like Stevie Wonder don’t start driving them, or we’ll all be in danger ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 15 at 06:31 PM • permalink

  21. Around here we have big problems with wild deer in the roadway. Some people put these on their bumper, to warn the deer.

    Maybe they would work for blind people, who have better than average hearing.

    And, don’t ask me how a deer knows the ultrasonic whistle is meant for him! You’d think if they were that smart they would know enough to stay out of the road.

    Posted by rinardman on 2007 02 15 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  22. Near-silent hybrid vehicles - one of them almost killed Michael Stipe ...

    That’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

    *pats her hybrid fondly*  “Gooood stealth death machine.”

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 02 15 at 07:21 PM • permalink

  23. Blind people were always speed-bumps on the road to Enviro-Success.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 15 at 07:22 PM • permalink

  24. They could put a loudspeaker on the cars but that will cut the battery life. One shout of “out of the fucking way” at 100Db and the Prius will cost to a halt before even reaching the blind person.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 02 15 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  25. The EV-1 actually did have an audible backup signal.

    Posted by Warmongering Lunatic on 2007 02 15 at 08:59 PM • permalink

  26. “The group said it conducted tests with blind people”.

    To see how far they bounced?

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 02 15 at 09:06 PM • permalink

  27. Do you get further carbon offsets with each kill?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 15 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  28. Why are hybrid vehicles good for the environment?

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 15 at 09:38 PM • permalink

  29. Silent but violent.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 15 at 09:41 PM • permalink

  30. #29
    A car co. PR exercise until fuel cells become economical?

    Ref remote control model cars: the fuel powered are said to be more economical longer term than rechargeable models (and less batteries end up in landfill) ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 15 at 10:01 PM • permalink

  31. The group said it conducted tests with blind people.

    Zis exhibit iz clozed.
    /simpsons

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 15 at 10:46 PM • permalink

  32. I see a market for hybrid engine tones, like ringtones.

    You download the one you want. The possibilities are endless.

    O/T I was at a conference presentation a while back when a phone went off. This guy’s tone was a loud Ocker voice saying: ‘Answer the f**kin’ PHONE, you idiot!...Answer the f**kin’ PHONE, you idiot!...

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 15 at 10:48 PM • permalink

  33. Rob
    Are you referring to the Locomotives on Highway Act 1861?

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 02 16 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  34. Oz GM Holden Commodore to be exported as US Pontiac G8.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 16 at 01:22 AM • permalink

  35. Applying the “two bird with one stone” rule…

    1. Pick up blind person and strap to roof of hybrid using elastic tie-downs.

    2. Drive on to original destination.

    3. Observe how sound of blind person shrieking “Let me go!”, “Help!”, “Are you insane?!” etc serves to warn other tardy pedestrians to keep out of the way.

    It may also be possible to devise a device to harness the energy generated by the flailing arms and legs of your captive to recharge the car’s battery.

    Just don’t try this method with deaf mutes though.

    And my Zen thought for the day: If a hybrid car hits a mime in a forest, did it make a sound?

    Posted by RexW on 2007 02 16 at 02:23 AM • permalink

  36. I can feel a “blindaid” concert coming on.  Where are you Sir Bob?

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 02 16 at 07:48 AM • permalink

  37. The group said it conducted tests with blind people.

    What kind of wierdos let blind people drive cars?

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 02 16 at 08:07 AM • permalink

  38. ‘Sfunny; here in the States the “outlaw” bikers often have a patch on their jacket which states, “Loud Pipes Save Lives”.  I guess we didn’t appreciate how right they were….

    Posted by Challeron on 2007 02 16 at 08:49 AM • permalink

  39. Thanks Egg for your reply.

    I think I’d prefer the Shag’n wagon the one Tim Tam likes or the Boxy volvo.. :)

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 16 at 07:22 PM • permalink

  40. I’m not an expert on hybrid cars but don’t they have a thingy in the middle of the steering wheel and when you press it the car makes a noise?

    Posted by jonnyswell on 2007 02 18 at 08:54 PM • permalink

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