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WARMENING SOLVED
We must demand this from our carbon overlords, currently meeting in Bali: an immediate ban on divorced Canadian bagpipers.
UPDATE. Bali works! Weather Channel reports:
Winter comes early
So they’re banning beer fridges in Canada and patio heaters in England.
We gotta get them before they get us.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 12 03 at 11:00 PM • permalinkAnd yet the carbon spewing of the swinging, Mexican, ukulele player continues unabated. Priorities people.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 03 at 11:04 PM • permalinkTrying to picture those Scottish regiments marching to a rousing version of “Hey Johnny Cope Are Ye Walkin’ Yet?” played on the kazoo . . . No. Can’t see it. How about “Scotland the Brave” scored for slide trombone? Mm-mm. Even worse. I guess the piper could just carry a boom-box with a CD recording.
#2, Dave, mate just splash out and get yourself an old big block powered yanktank. Then practice your circle work. Problem solved.
Or you could just kill something and eat it, that works too.
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 12 03 at 11:11 PM • permalinkOK, gotta run WOZ’s reply through the Strine-Seppo translator:
Dave, mate just splash out and get yourself an old big block powered yanktank.
“Dave, ol’ buddy, just run out and get yourself an old musclecar.”
Then practice your circle work.
“Then spin some donuts.”
Or you could just kill something and eat it.
“Or have an Alabama brunch.”
Is there anyone who plays the bagpipes who isn’t divorced?
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 03 at 11:37 PM • permalink#9, Dave, I just had a brainwave “ol’ buddy”: Just go out and SET FIRE TO A PRIUS!
Its like a two for one deal…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 12 04 at 12:16 AM • permalinkSo far I have just the one beer fridge. The Gaia Savers will have no problem finding it - it’ll be right next to me on the porch. I’ll be the guy cleaning his guns.
Now I’m not a
Canarda Canuck, but isn’t Washington State close enough to Canadia that they can take the carbon blame for it?Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 12 04 at 12:23 AM • permalinkTeetotal Mormons might be an oxymoron come to think of it.
Tautology I think.
#10
I know some, they live up the hill from me. She’s Canadian….. The girls both play Bagpipes, I don’t think he does, though.#13
Not over the hill.
But they don’t practise at home. Not the bagpipes anyway. Not that I’ve heard.I have not been divorced, and no bagpipes, but as is the case with any good Canadian, I have a beer fridge and more than 3 vehicles (in my case 5). And I use wooden hockey sticks, none of that graphite BS! And I can attest that winter came early - six inches in the driveway yesterday. But the Morgan is safely inside. Did I miss something? Is AlGore in Canada?
Posted by bobzorunkle on 2007 12 04 at 12:35 AM • permalinkWell, a prediction showdown is coming in the next year or so. Who’s right?
Icebox or heatwave? The case that the Globo-warmers have it backwards is a pretty convincing one - and we should know which hypothesis is correct by mid 2008.
Best bits of this report are looked at here.
Rhodes Fairbridge makes a helluva lot more sense than the Goracle, hands down.
Me, I’m in the market for a good coat and some longjohns.
Posted by Wind Rider on 2007 12 04 at 12:38 AM • permalinkThe upside: At least the Bali conference will pump some much needed money into an economy ruined by islamofascists.
The downside: Rudd’s signing up to the Kyoto cult will pump even more money out of ours.
The conference will probably produce at least three coal fired power stations worth of hot air in a week.
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 12 04 at 01:02 AM • permalinkAsh_: I like the sound of bagpipes too. Under correct circumstances, of course. There’s a time and a place for every musical instrument. Except for the accordion. There is no correct time or place for an accordion, not even with the monkey.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 12 04 at 01:09 AM • permalinkThe bagpipes were invented to stop the Scots from stabbing cats for laughs.
And did you hear about the octopus who encountered a set of bagpipes? Tried to make love to them, but couldn’t get the pyjamas off.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 04 at 02:12 AM • permalinkre the accordian - if you’ve been to any slavic dances, you’ll know it is the instrument of choice - the others just can’t keep up!
bagpipes are good for stirring mounrful music, occasionally.
oh no - more local weather they say we’ll see less of, as usual.
Rudd, here’s my $3. Any bill with a CC cause rise above this will be referred to your desk, where the buck stops, right?
26. Andrea Harris, Administrator (and other blasphemers)
Fie on you Lass!!! Bow before the accordion gods!!
You haven’t lived till you’ve been to a concert where the front man pulls out an accordion and the crowd goes wild.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 04 at 03:06 AM • permalinkI’m a bagpipe player still with first wife and just now I got out my pipes and checked. (the bagpipes - not my wife) I was initially concerned but I’m happy to report that not only are they made of African Blackwood but the drone and chanter ends are made of ivory and the bag is borrowed from a dead sheep. I placed them on the outdoors bar to check and I could hear both the wine and beer fridge humming away serving their master. In the background the pool pump cycles 50,000 li through the sand filters and just today I had to drop in another couple of thousand litres of water.
Out the front the two LR V8s wait at my disposal and the 1966 four cylinder Land Rover causes angst to Greenies just sitting there. I’m told the Land Rover Company already have a carbon off-set program just because of the vehicles they produce so I figure I’m clean.
Should be good for Greenpeace membership. I am, after all, a responsible citizen and do like to do my bit for society!
Posted by KevGillett on 2007 12 04 at 03:13 AM • permalinkPlus, it’s the only time you get to see a straight guy “give” a blow job.
Funny Pogria, very funny. Now how am I going to keep a straight face next time I play? One can’t laugh and play the pipes.
Posted by KevGillett on 2007 12 04 at 03:22 AM • permalinkI have bad news for the bagpipe bashers: John Smeaton is a bagpiper. “If you slag off bagpipes, we’ll set about ye.”
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 04 at 03:23 AM • permalinkIf one has four different arrangements of “Amazing Grace” on the ‘Pipes, would that indicate a certain degree of affection?One of which is the original by the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards.
Johnny Johnson also known as Johnny Bagpipes.
Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 12 04 at 03:55 AM • permalinkIn the meantime, people have been flocking to help reforest parts of Tanzania. Ethical present firm Good Gifts is urging people to plant bagpipe trees. It is pledging to plant 21 Blackwood saplings for £15, 50 for £35 and 60 for £42. Spokeswoman Kirsty Thomson said: “The response so far - particularly from Scotland - has been incredible. The gift of bagpipe trees is becoming an unlikely best-seller this Christmas.”
This has paco written all over it. paco, isn’t the carbon credit scam bad enough? Now you must hornswoggle the Scots?
The Scots?
Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 04 at 05:51 AM • permalinkI challenge any man to listen to Sergeant McKenzie and not be inspired to reach for one of his rifles.
You’ll not find me being disrespectful of the pipes. Many years ago, I interviewed an old Scotsman. He told me a tale of their bagpipers leading the assault on Bernafay Wood.
That was at no modern campaign where the MSM pisses and moans over a handful of casualties.
That was at the Somme, of which warriors still speak in hushed voices, in awed tones.
He has long since passed on. I do not think Saint Peter had the gumption to deny him entry into Heaven, especially with so many of his mates inside waiting for him. They probably all still had bayonets fixed until the last of their comrades arrived.
MarkL
Canberrapaco, might I remind you that the Scots are ... Presbyterians?
Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 04 at 05:55 AM • permalinkregarding Canadians, redheads, kilts and bagpipes…
I saw my Canuk friend in her kilt at the markets one day. The old line about what does a Scotsman wear under his kilt came up… she showed me… a fine set of pipes, she’s got a tattoo on her upper leg of…. bagpipes!
She has two gorgeous red-head daughters, like their mum.
Sit, Dminor. Stay!
Ash, there’s nothing more stirring than the pipes. I once was involved in a battalion live fire attack exercise where the pipes kicked in just as the artillery and mortars lifted off the objective. The piper was just behind the lead company in the assault. The blood was boiling. It was real bayonet between the teeth stuff…and that was just an exercise. I shudder to think of the effect they have in the real thing. No wonder the French were petrified of them. Nothing stirs a really good bloodlust like bagpipes! This is my favourite song. Although there is much to be said for Flower of Scotland, as I’m sure visiting rugby teams to Murrayfield will attest.
Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 04 at 06:08 AM • permalinkThe one Scotsman who occasionally comments here will lament not having checked in today.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 04 at 06:12 AM • permalink#50
I hope the missus agrees with me. ;)Whose missus Pogria?
Posted by KevGillett on 2007 12 04 at 06:38 AM • permalinkWhenever we lost a digger the Duty Piper at the Fire Support Base would play a lament at dusk (bad light…bad target) The piper never got shot at but in the jungle, at dusk, it was moving and if we weren’t 10 ft tall and bullet proof (in our 20s) we would have cried; or maybe we did - I can’t remember.
Posted by KevGillett on 2007 12 04 at 06:43 AM • permalinkYe cannae take away our pipes ye damn sassenach! Not since the Bruce gave ye a damn good kicking at Blàr Allt a’ Bhonnaich!
Posted by Captain Sensible on 2007 12 04 at 07:44 AM • permalinkI’m not divorced or Canadian but I do have a set of pipes. Was forced to quit playing them many years ago by our dog at the time who would sit by me and howl every time I tried to practice.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 12 04 at 07:50 AM • permalinkMore Indonesian islands set to disappear, courtesy of climate change.
So that they know what they’ll be missing:
Less than half of Indonesia’s islands are inhabited and many are not even named. Now, the authorities are hastily counting the coral-fringed islands that span a distance of 5,000 km, the equivalent of going from Ireland to Iran, before it is too late.
Perhaps PACO Industries has a product that can help this bonzai-esque growth rate:
The African tree takes 80 years to reach just 40cm in height.
I mean, it doesn’t take a whole lot of wood to make the chanter and drones, but with that rate of growth no wonder the trees are disappearing…
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 12 04 at 07:54 AM • permalinkKev, you must have been 7RAR. (Porky’s People)
Nobody ever shed a tear at hearing the piper’s lament, it was that horrible Army issue mosquito repellant getting in the eyes.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 12 04 at 08:09 AM • permalinkMaybe its just my Celtic blood, but when i hear the pipes i get a sudden urge to punch an englishman…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 12 04 at 08:11 AM • permalink“Yeah, right” quoth the other inhabitant of Casa Pedro on reading my last.
Unbeliever.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 12 04 at 08:13 AM • permalink#70
Wrong man Kae- I’m the good Santa….. ...however just recently I was thinking some of the mums were cute.Posted by KevGillett on 2007 12 04 at 08:19 AM • permalinkOn topic. The ALP obviously thought about the impact on the Australian economy before ratifying an internationally binding environment treaty, right? Right?
Senator Wong said the focus in Bali would be to put in place a roadmap for treaty negotiations.
“We would expect binding commitments from both developed and developing nations, the nature of those commitments is the subject of negotiation,” she said.
Senator Wong said her new department had begun economic modelling of Labor’s climate change policies against its Kyoto Protocol target.
She said the work would take an estimated four to six weeks to carry out.
“We need to know what our policies, in particular our renewable energy target of 20 per cent by 2020, we need to know what effect that will have on Australia’s emissions,” Senator Wong told reporters in Canberra.
“So I’ve asked for that work to be done so we can be clear about what our projections are going forward.”
#77 No, the tears came from applying the horrible mosquito repellent and then ‘scratching’ yourself - remember?
Posted by KevGillett on 2007 12 04 at 08:25 AM • permalinkThis could be a serious mistake. The Scottish are NOT a people you want to annoy, especially the ones who love bagpipes and the military history that often goes with it.
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2007 12 04 at 08:42 AM • permalinkCB it’s good that you’re on topic.
Honestly, I’m sick of hearing the drivel about ‘climate change’.
When are these idiots going to wake up?
People talk with me about climate change and I tell them it’s crap.
The models are flawed.Drowning poar bears, sinking pacific islands, massive hurricanes, drought, floods, heatwaves, cold spells. It’s crap. How are these people who supposedly have brains to bless themselves with so easily sucked into this mire?
I’m hoping that one day, real soon, there will be a mass awakening.
But I don’t hold out much hope.
#80
And I get a bunch of five year olds - there is no justice. Good pic ..lucky Santa.Posted by KevGillett on 2007 12 04 at 08:45 AM • permalink#86
I’d offer to sit on your lap and ask what you want for Chrissy, but you’d probably groan and say “Gerrorff!”Mine looked pretty happy, hey!
Anyway, five year olds are cute. I still believe in Santa - he who belives receives.
For Christmas this year I’ll ask Santa for and end to Climate Change. PDQ.
But that’s not going to happen, because they’ll find another falling star to hitch their whatevers to.
Kev, I won’t mention the fearsome story about the digger with a fear of leeches, an “issue” condom, pink bits and the aforementioned mozzie repellant.
Now that will bring tears to your eyes.
(Don’t mind us, folks, just chatting amongst ourselves)
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 12 04 at 08:53 AM • permalinkThe International Standards Organisation have determined that the average temperature of the Earth is 15C. The records indicate that over hundreds of thousands of years it has been variously cooler and warmer for longer periods than the current averaged time frame. Here’s a question for the panickers of the planet, how hot is too hot? And HOW do you keep an inherently unstable system powered by an externally controlled nuclear reactor (the sun) from changing temperature? Senator Wong and Hon Garrett, your policies please.
After a quick count, in a family of two and a half, we have two fridges, 2 bar fridges, a wine cooler, and a chest freezer. I don’t have pipes, but I do have a treasured but slightly moth eaten kilt. We’ve only been married for 2 years, and divorce isn’t on the cards, although when Offspring Ver 1.0 starts up in the wee hours, I do think about running away and joining the legion.
Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 04 at 09:25 AM • permalinkAh, the bagpipes! I love them! Thanks for the reminder, Richard, of why bagpipes were invented in the first place.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 12 04 at 10:41 AM • permalinkI love the sound of bagpipes. It awakens something in me.
But there’s nothing like an accordion at midnight during Oktoberfest when you’re seated at a trestle table, arm-in-arm with fifty drunken Germans, sucking on a liter of black beer and pretending to sing along with whatever they’re caterwauling.
My neighbor across the street got rid of his giant beer fridge some time ago.
...but another neighbor had a different idea of one during the first major snowfall of the season (too early at that, as we are only in mid-fall), when he carved <a href=“http://www.flickr.com/photos/49405310@N00/2081859620/”>one like it<a> with his electric snow shovel.
What am I saying? (I think I drank too much Canadian beer lately.) What I’m saying folks is that with the unpredictable weather that we are having, the warmenistas don’t really know what they are saying although they are scaring a lot of kids whenever they open their mouths.
...but another neighbor had a different idea of one during the first major snowfall of the season (too early at that, as we are only in mid-fall), when he carved one like it with his electric snow shovel.
What am I saying? (I think I drank too much Canadian beer lately.) What I’m saying folks is that with the unpredictable weather that we are having, the warmenistas don’t really know what they are saying although they are scaring a lot of kids whenever they open their mouths
#92 RebeccaH -
But there’s nothing like an accordion at midnight during Oktoberfest when you’re seated at a trestle table, arm-in-arm with fifty drunken Germans, sucking on a liter of black beer and pretending to sing along with whatever they’re caterwauling.
That’s fifty drunken German-Americans, thank you very much.Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 04 at 01:02 PM • permalinkOnce, while stationed in Korea, I had some TDY business up in Seoul, near the UN Command HQ. From some distance off I became concerned that the North Koreans had attacked and were torturing cats. Imagine my relief to discover that the Ghurkas were parading with their pipers.
The Ghurkas. With their pipers.
Probably the best story ever written about bagpipes in a military venue is George MacDonald Fraser’s “Johnny Cope in the Morning.” Read it - read all of his McAuslan stories.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 12 04 at 01:18 PM • permalinkThe last exercise that I participated in as a proper grunt was two weeks of no sleep, patrols day and night, digging, digging, digging, wiring, wiring, digging, attacking etc etc etc.
On the last night, we were attacked all night until the order was given to run away (sorry, withdraw) in the wee hours of the morning. We shouldered packs and stumbled through the bush for a few hours before hitting a road and doing a route march back to camp for the final cleanup and pissup.
Everyone was knackered, passing around the radios and guns and other heavy things. People stumbled around like drunks. We were shot - absolutely stuffed. Foot sore, sweating, exhausted and just wrung out.
Then our piper met us just around dawn at the outskirts of the town where we had our camp for the exercise. He strangled the cat, and our column immediately formed into ranks and everyone woke up and stood tall and we marched, rather than staggered through the town. Even though it was sparrow fart, all the townsfolk along the route came out of their houses and gave a cheer as we went past.
I still get shivers up my spine just thinking about it.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 12 04 at 04:08 PM • permalink#20 Ash_;
Does anyone like the sound of bagpipes?
What kind? Scottish are OK (at a bit of distance), but I really like Renaissance German (hummelchen) or slightly later French (musette de coeur) or English (Northumbrian or Leicestershire smallpipes). The Zampogna (made from an entire italian goat), not so much.
And my wife doesn’t mind my hummelchen…she lets me practice them on nights when she’s out teaching class. :}
“There is no correct time or place for an accordion ...”
Andrea, I hate to disagree with you but it’s the accordian that just makes this song perfect.
Posted by David Crawford on 2007 12 04 at 05:16 PM • permalink...no one mentioned Weird Al Yankovic when the subject of accordions came up?!
;)
(As for bagpipes, yes I do like them.)
Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 12 04 at 08:39 PM • permalink
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Firstly ive gotta ask, why do Canadians need beer fridges? Aint the joint covered in snow and such? Its not like your in the Pilbara now is it?