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WORDS WORDS WORDS
Latest Continuing Crisis column for the Bulletin is all about words.
Lebanese Australian, n. Person of Lebanese background who lives in Lebanon and works in Lebanon but whose Australian citizenship requires that they be evacuated at Australian expense during times of trouble. In Lebanon.
There are times of trouble in Oz that require evacuation?
Oh yeah, 5000 drunk bogans might be scary if your used to yelling abuse at girls at the beach. Imagine if it was 5000 drunk Jewish bogans, maybe we wouldnt need to fly them back now… (Hey, there have to be some Jewish bogans somwhere)
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 07 26 at 12:25 AM • permalink‘ere’s one:
divisive: adj. Any government policy or action that you don’t agree with that is likely to be popular with voters e.g. “John Howard is the just being divisive with his stand against illegal immigrants/illegal drugs/unions”
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 07 26 at 12:35 AM • permalinkJust what the world needed, The Devil’s Dictionary in Strine…you byoot fella!
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 26 at 12:47 AM • permalinkPeace n. Unreported conflict or massacres in some country we have not heard of and do not care about
War n. Whenever the US or its allies intervene in countries that were previously living in peace
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 07 26 at 12:54 AM • permalink#9 Despite the pic, I dont think ranty Ant qualifies, can you picture him doing burnouts in a Commodore?
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 07 26 at 01:20 AM • permalinkholocaust n. 1. Two or more deaths caused by Israeli rockets 2. Some historical thing or other that is supposed to mean something, like, yada yada yada, get over it people - tell someone who cares
Israel n. Middle eastern country that history tells us is occupied illegally by embarrassing people who displaced the noble original inhabitants and, what’s worse, look like Austen Tayshus.
Australia n. Home of Ant Loewenstein with no particular history to speak of.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 07 26 at 01:38 AM • permalinkBest column ever, Tim. For the record, I’m positive that there are no Jewish bogans.
Posted by Daniel San on 2006 07 26 at 01:44 AM • permalinkMargos - that makes ‘divisive’ and ‘populist’ are synonyms, but I’m not sure the world is ready for that concept yet.
Great column Tim; how about you set up your own version of Wikpedia - or you could delegate the task to Andrea. Meantime, we’ll all keep swilling our G&Ts; and watch and cheer on.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 07 26 at 01:53 AM • permalinkDan, is that Lowenbrau ‘imself?
Looks like he tried to give himself a Prince Albert but missed. Oh - that’s right, he’s a dickhead. Sorry.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 07 26 at 01:56 AM • permalinkExcellent column, Tim, had me laughing!
But what’s wrong with chocaholism?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 07 26 at 02:07 AM • permalinkSome jokes from On the Face which give explanations for the meaning of a number of current Israeli government warnings to the populace.
“If you’re told to take shelter, that means immediately. Do not stop for an espresso at Aroma or an almond croissant at Arcaffe. Immediately.” Or, “In case of an attack, you must prepare yourselves for the worst possible scenario - the cancellation of the Depeche Mode concert.” And, “If a missile falls on your neighbour’s car, run fast and maybe you’ll get his parking spot.” Mwahaha.
In a similar vein to this, we can note the complete gutting of the meaning of a number of words because the left have been hurling them around willy-nilly as insults.
“Racist” used to have a pretty straightforward, pointed meaning nut now its just a bland perjorative used to describe anyone who disagrees with a member of the left.
Similary “genocide” used to be a horrific term (think of the holocaust, Pol Pot..) but now its applied to any situation where one side is trying to kill the other; also debased by uses such as “cultural genocide” (the early closing of a play), “environmental genocide” (the cutting down of a diseased tree in a park).
hehehe. ‘Climate change’ - the phenomena where temperature and rainfall at any one location rise and fall depending on the season and even the time of day.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 07 26 at 04:17 AM • permalink#19 Dan Lewis,
I simply don’t believe it, and I will require clear proofs before I do( pictures of him doing circle work on a school oval, downing a longneck VB and punching a stranger).Posted by Daniel San on 2006 07 26 at 04:34 AM • permalinkKids today probably think Hitler was a pretty good leader and a kind hearted soul. Can’t blame them. He is constantly being compared to Howard and Bush.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 07 26 at 04:48 AM • permalinkYou’re a good wordsmith mate.
From someone who has been spinning it out for over 40 years.
Keep it up.
Notwithstanding that I have a dozen medieval swords in my Great Hall (just in case I have to fight the Crusades all over again) I realise that a lot of battles these days are won and lost in the realms of media and not the battlefield.
Hezbollah unfortunately appear to realise that, but Israel, with military might in its favour, seems to be having a bit of difficulty in this department. Still they are spinning it.
Thank you FOXNEWS. I might only watch you in times like these but you are a Godsend (at least until the crisis is all over and we get back to football, and, heaven help, not the cricket. Can they keep the war up during the cricket season. Better TV viewing.recruit (ing): (v) to recruit or induce someone to join or enlist. This is either a grevious act of predation upon unsuspecting moppets (if the moppet is to be sent to Iraq), or a noble act of empowerment (if the
moppetprogressive young adult) is being shipped to Liberia, Haiti, Kosovo or the DMZ in Korea.#27, Imagine that, after 12 years of teachers telling them JWH is like hilter (I know), and 12 years of record prosperity, they may begin to think that the Jews MUST be evil.
Coz if hilter was a nice as GWB and JWH, maybe he was onto something with the ‘final solution’.
If GWB woke up tomorrow with a plan to end all the middle east conflict, whats the bet some lefty journo somewhere would call it ‘Bushes Final Solution’?
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 07 26 at 10:55 AM • permalinkGreat column, Tim.
tolerance: n, The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others who agree with me.
Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 07 26 at 10:55 AM • permalinkThanks for the much-needed laugh today.
Hunger Strike, n. - To abstain from eating food, except for Jamba Juice, ice cream with coffee, broth, etc. A tactic used to gain media attention by saintly mothers who’ve lost children (somehow) in Illegal Wars, and/or celebrities whose careers are in need of a publicity boost.
See also “Rolling Fast”.
affirmative action: (n) the enlightened and noble practice of favoritism based upon race rather than individual merit. Not to be confused with racism, the ignorant and pernicious practice of favoritism based upon race rather than individual merit.
reality-based: (n) some primo Colombian product.
addendum to #32: ‘or who might hurt me if I said otherwise.’
Achillea, I’d like to borrow that definition for an ongoing discussion I’m having with a liberal…which is another word that has completely lost its original meaning. Instead of meaning broad-minded, unselfish & big-hearted it now applies to those who are radical, undisciplined, morally ambiguous, and at least as closed-minded as they accuse the Right Wing of being.
Got a bit of the flu, sorry for the incoherence. Loved the column, Tim!
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Well, I really do wish someone would do something about Riverdancing.
You managed to get the plastic turkey in. Good show.