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WORLD’S SHORTEST BOOK
I have in my possession a document, sourced from the Saudi Arabian Ministry of Culture and Information, entitled “The Arab Peace Initiative”.
It is only eight pages long.
Three pages are blank.
WORLD’S SHORTEST BOOKS
Vol. 1 - All Men Know About Women.
Vol. 2 - French War Heroes
Vol. 3 - The Big Book of Australian ForeplayPosted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 23 at 01:01 AM • permalinkHow many pages are taken up by writing and editing credits and flowery tributes to King Abdullah?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 23 at 01:02 AM • permalinkMock if you must, but there is an excellent recipe for pigeon soup provided by the ministry.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 23 at 01:09 AM • permalinkIt is only eight pages long.
Three pages are blank.
Sadly, Saddam ran out of blood before they could finish printing it…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 23 at 01:14 AM • permalinkHow much data should it involve? After all, most past Arab Peace Initiatives have involved not much else but humiliating capitulation to numerically inferior forces, usually in a very short timeframe*.
I believe they’ve had intensive training from the French and the Italians.
*Usually along these lines-
1/. Much huffing and puffing, posturing, chest-beating and bullying poses.
2/. Attempt “Charles Atlas Beach Bully” sand-kicking on apparently smaller foe.
3/. Apparently smaller foe gives short sharp kick to the bollocks.
4/. Run like poodle, claim victimhood.Read this page without laughing and you’re a better person than me.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 23 at 01:26 AM • permalinkWell, at least Antony Loewenstein can say he contributed three pages to the Arab Peace Initiative.
Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 01 23 at 01:33 AM • permalink#14
Read this page without laughing and you’re a better person than me.
I couldn’t do it. Do you remember in late 2004 when the Saudis took out full-page ads in the major Australian newspapers (and Fairfax)?
I still have a copy. It said: “The Saudi Government has pursued an anti-terrorism
policy by all possible means for many years both before and since September 11”.It was unclear whether “all possible means” was able to stop Saudi terrorists attacking
the World Trade Centre or the massacre
in Beslan.It then portrayed the Saudi Kingdom as philanthropic noting that 4% of Saudi Arabia’s GNP goes toward “development projects”.
They didn’t actually detail precisely what
these “projects” were. I guessed they included funding of hardline Wahabbist
Madrasas where Militant Islam is indoctrinated, but I could be wrong…The ‘funniest’ bit was where it claimed “The Kingdom will continue to work for mutual
respect and increased understanding”.There was no footnote detailing whether this applied to women and Jews.
Not a lot has changed, though our Government seems to be throwing plenty of money their way.
I thought the shortest was the Big Book of Islamic IQs?
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 23 at 01:44 AM • permalink#20 Rebase - “Musk is the name originally given to a perfume obtained originally from the strong-smelling substance secreted by a gland in the abdomen of the male musk deer” (Wikipedia).
And I thought 6 pigeons was going to be a slight problem. I’ll be using musk sticks or lifesavers.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 23 at 01:55 AM • permalinkDan Lewis
That 4%. Your reaction matched mine. Education to pull the pin on your suicide vest shouldnt really count…
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 01 23 at 02:10 AM • permalink#25 this guy must have a guardian angel watching over him.
Not many people have been hafway down a Great White’s throat and lived to tell about it.
And to have the presence of mind to poke the shark in the eye until it let go is extraordinary! Once you’re inside the damn thing’s mouth you’d be saying “See ya Lord in a few seconds…”#25 rbresca
Talk about close call
Jumpin’ Jeebus, I’d have soiled my armor . . .
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 23 at 02:57 AM • permalink#29 Penguin
I think Mel Gibson’s snapped up the rights.Posted by ErnestBludger on 2007 01 23 at 04:45 AM • permalink#18, Dan,
The website has the same first sentence you quoted but with an added clause and some strange punctuation.
The Saudi Government has pursued an anti-terrorism policy by all possible means for many years† both before and since September 11, 2001 and is fully supportive of the war on terror.
A cross (or dagger) followed by two exclamation marks (or bangs)? I’m not sure what to make of that.
I suppose it is printed in a large font as well to help fill the five pages.
Posted by Hank Reardon on 2007 01 23 at 05:54 AM • permalink#28 Bonmot -
Not many people have been hafway down a Great White’s throat and lived to tell about it. And to have the presence of mind to poke the shark in the eye until it let go is extraordinary! Once you’re inside the damn thing’s mouth you’d be saying “See ya Lord in a few seconds…”
The shark made a mistake. He didn’t know the victim was a RWDB until he had him in its jaws. He let him go of course once he tasted the evilness coursing through the man’s blood.
Professional courtesy as they say.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 23 at 06:51 AM • permalinkInfidel: you can probably skip the musk. A lot of medieval recipes (many of which probably were derived from the Middle East along with the spices that came in the trades that started up in part because of the Crusades) called for perfume to be added to food, possibly to further mask the smell of spoiled meat. I’m sure most people in the Middle East, at least in the cities, have working refrigerators but spoilage is still probably more of a problem than it is here. (On a side note, I have often thought that our ancestors must have had cast-iron guts to survive the sort of meals they often consumed. Then again, no wonder mortality was so high.)
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 01 23 at 07:04 AM • permalinkTim - you forgot to mention that the book is the size of a postage stamp.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 23 at 07:35 AM • permalinkPS - did you hold the blank pages up to a candle to see if there is a secret message written there in invisible ink?
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 23 at 07:36 AM • permalinkI wonder if this book will sell more than Loewenstein’s one.
It is a battle to see who comes in last.
Posted by The Best Infidel on 2007 01 23 at 07:41 AM • permalinkI have in my possession a document, sourced from the Saudi Arabian Ministry of Culture and Information, entitled “The Arab Peace Initiative”.
It is only eight pages long.
Ahuh. Well I just searched the official website of the Saudi Arabian Ministry of Culture and Information using the keyword “israel”
The result?
Your search - israel - did not match any documentsSo I tried again using the keyword
“jew”The result?
Your search - jew - did not match any documentsI’d like to know how they filled up all those pages even after leaving three blank.
Infidel: you can probably skip the musk.
Dunno. There’s apparently a market for “musk flavored” things in Australia. The local international market carries the musk flavored Lifesavers mentioned by Infidel. I tried them once.
Nearly gagged to death.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 01 23 at 08:37 AM • permalinkAt least the Saudi book is has more pages than the Amish Phone Directory.
Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 01 23 at 10:52 AM • permalinkA writing class was challenged to come up with the shortest possible story which incorporated the four elements of religion, royalty, sex and mystery. The winner: “Oh my God,” said the Princess; “I’m pregnant! I wonder who did it.”
Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2007 01 23 at 10:04 PM • permalink#14 Infidel Tiger,
Nope, can’t be done. There are some things beyond the power of the most self-controlled and disciplined man.#43 Andrea,
There is a book called Rubbish: The Archaeology of Garbage by a professor from the University of Arizona. His team excavates in landfills then tries to deduce what they can learn about the society that dumped the garbage, then they go check on their deductions. The idea is to improve deductions archaeologists make from ancient garbage dumps, which are sort of delightful punatas for the working archaeologist.Anyway, one of the things he found was that in Mexico they throw away more food, including more meat, than people do in the USA. Investigations showed that the reason is the poorer availability of refrigeration in Mexico. For one thing, a lot of Mexicans get second hand refrigerators discarded from the USA. They’re cheaper so more affordable to people there, and you get what you pay for.
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 01 23 at 10:27 PM • permalinkDunno. There’s apparently a market for “musk flavored” things in Australia. The local international market carries the musk flavored Lifesavers mentioned by Infidel.
Really? Ew. Or maybe that’s short for muskmelon? (Which also smells and tastes pretty stinky, imho.)
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 01 24 at 08:14 AM • permalink# 14, nice one Infidel Tiger.
You now owe it to yourself to got muttawa.blogspot.com for the REAL stuff. The guy doesn’t blog any more but the blog is still there and still hilarious.Great bedtime reading.
Posted by carpefraise on 2007 01 25 at 12:42 AM • permalink
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